1986 Introduction

Quasimodo 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo

If I were to look at the script of the 1986 Australian version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame, I would think it was first draft. It had promise at adapting the story but none of the characters are  fleshed out or had anything at all interesting about them. It’s just dull and it’s not is just the script and the characters, the animation, colors, music, etc are just sleep inducing. I forgot I had even saw this one before it was mentioned that I review it.

I bashed the Enchanted Tales version but as horrible as that was at least there was something to discuss, as for the 1986, I’m not even sure there is that much there but I’m sure I can find something.

Though at least being made a decade earlier than the Disney version, it didn’t rip that one off or was made as a cash grab, so that is something.

Next Time – The plot

Esmeralda 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Project Re-Read! Book 8 Chapters 1-3

Book 8, Chapter 1, The Crown Piece Changed to a Dry Leaf

 

Esmeralda (Maureen O'Hara) and Aristotle share a moment 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda (Maureen O’Hara) and Aristotle share a moment

This chapter Esmeralda’s unfair farce of a trial. Basically, she’s doomed before this thing even starts. I mean the treat it like an obligation. They really just need her to confess and when she fails to do so in this chapter, the old judge complains that she is holding up their meal. What Jerks.

Poor Djali, all she did was simple tricks and these jack-ass are like witchcraft. Oh and that La Falourdel bitch, her kid stole her money and then she complains about how her house was described in the report. Hate that lady.

 

Book 8, Chapter 2, Continuation of the Crown Piece Changed

 

Esmeralda being Tortured picture image

Esmeralda being Tortured

Since Esmeralda doesn’t want to confess to a crime she didn’t commit, she is tortured. She doesn’t last at all long before she breaks and starts confessing to just f-up stuff, like having intercourse with satan in the form Djali. This medieval judges are f-ed in the head.

Not a really fun chapter.

 

 

 

Book 8, Chapter 3, End of the Crown Piece Changed to a Dry Leaf

 

Lesley-Anne Down as Esmeralda, 1982 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Lesley-Anne Down as Esmeralda,

This chapter is Esmeralda and Djali sentence. Can say much about it though apparently part of her penance in paying the judges of the Bishop’s court and the candle she has to hold at Notre Dame is 2 pounds.

 

Poor Esmeralda.

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The Nutcracker Prince Review; Every time they said Drosselmeier, I thought of Princess Tutu

The Nutcracker Prince picture image

The Nutcracker Prince

The Nutcracker Prince is from 1990 and is based on the ballet “The Nutcracker,” I know crazy right?

Looking at the cover, I was hesitant about this one, but it was enjoyable. Was it amazing? Not super really but it didn’t make me want to bang my head against my desk repeatedly and that saying something considering the movies I have had to endure.

Clara holding the Nutcracker with Drosselmeier The Nutcracker Prince picture image

Clara holding the Nutcracker with Drosselmeier

The movie takes place in 1850, Germany. Clara is a young-ish girl maybe 10 or 12 year old. She is at cusp of adulthood but still favors childhood as she mocks her sister’s romantic notions for young men. Clara is given a Nutcracker by a toy making friend, Drosselmeier.

Drosselmeiertells her the story of how he and his nephew, Hans, worked at a castle. After eating the King’s cake, The Mouse queen curses the Princess into being ugly. Drosselmeier learns that only way to cure the Princess’ ugliness is with the Krakatooth nut and some steps backwards. The King declares that one who can cure her will win her hand in marriage. Many try but Hans cracks the nut with his teeth but as he is completing the spell the Mouse Queen changes him in to the Nutcracker doll. As Hans falls, he cause a statue to fall which kills the Mouse Queen as well a ruining Mouse Prince’s tail. The new Mouse King vows revenge for his tail.

That night as everyone else sleeps, Clara goes to Nutcracker and her toys come alive. Now, that the Nutcracker is alive the Mouse King attacks. This part takes up much of the movie and there is question as to did it really happen or is all Clara’s musing. In the end Clara, along with the dolls, Marie, Trudy and Platoon help The Nutcracker, who is considered to be the Princes of Dolls, to defeat the Mouse King.

Then they all go to Land of Dolls, which a very pretty place. The Nutcracker Prince asks Clara to stay with him as his Princess but she declines as she still wants to grow up. At her rejection, the dolls lose their life-like spark and revert to mere dolls. Clara awakes in her bed and rushes over to Drosselmeier and asks if the whole this was real or not. Drosselmeier introduces her to his nephew, Hans, who greets her familiarly and she greets him as “Nutcracker.”

Clara with the Nutcracker Prince The Nutcracker Prince picture image

Clara with the Nutcracker Prince

One thing I really enjoyed about this movie, aside from the background music, is the lesson. A lot movies try to say that childhood is awesome and others say that you should grown up but this movie takes a elegant middle ground.

Clara at the starts the movie by rejecting grown-up convention, like romance but by the end of the movie by embracing childhood, in this case playing with dolls, she can accepts adulthood.

This is evident but her using her sister’s wording in complimenting the Nutcracker and also with her more grow-up gown. It was just a nice little sentiment in a film that you rarely see and it’s done well.

Clara meeting Hans The Nutcracker Prince picture image

Clara meeting Hans

 

I also like how the film blurs the lines if this was all in Clara’s head or if it was real but since this is a children movie and not a psychological drama, I’m going to say it was real. Especially because of the ending scene with Hans addressing her so familiarly.

The Mouse King The Nutcracker Prince picture image

The Mouse King

 

As for the characters, they only one with anything to them is Clara. The other characters are nice but aside from Drosselmeier, who has a great mysterious vibe, they are all just there and nice. Then again, this movie is more of a mood piece, so I forgive it a bit.

 

Clara The Nutcracker Prince picture image

Clara

Clara is an active girl who has dreams and ambitions, she wants to join a ballet but she she doesn’t want to grow-up too quick. She enjoys childhood but at the same time she seems a bit bored with fairy stories. She just seem like a real person which is a good thing. She does a good job leading us through the craziness of the dolls versus the mice all while being likable.

Clara with her kitten, Pavola The Nutcracker Prince picture image

Clara with her kitten, Pavola

The Nutcracker Prince is a nice little Christmas movie that casts a nice happy light on the gray period between childhood and adulthood. The animation isn’t super great but music is wonderful through I didn’t care for the credit song, that 1990’s electronic piano sound is just jarring after hearing the Nutcracker suite for 70 minutes.

Also I would have liked to see or hear the Arabian dance but I’m nitpicking at this point. It wasn’t a bad movie at all. The kitten was also super cute!

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Frollo is a slut

This made me giggle quite a lot.

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Enchanted Tales Conclusion; Oh Yay, I’m Done with this crap

Melody and Quasimodo Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and Quasimodo

The Enchanted Tales version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame has got to be one the worst Hunchback versions there is. It’s full of bad technicals, annoying characters, terrible songs and the single worst moral I have ever seen in a children movie. A Handsome Quasimodo?! That should just not be. I’m not a purist, I just want the basics. If looks don’t matter why is he even drawn handsome. GAH!

Melody and a handome Quasimodo Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and a “handome” Quasimodo

I LOATHE this version.

Next Hunchback Version – The 1986 Australian Version… sigh…………. just sigh…..

The 1986 Australian Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

The 1986 Australian Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame

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Project Re-Read! Book 7 Chapters 7 & 8

Book 7, Chapter 7, The Specter Monk

The Shadow Notre Dame de Paris 2011-2012 Asian Tour picture image

The Shadow Notre Dame de Paris 2011-2012 Asian Tour

I find this chapter silly and I think it’s meant to be so, people forget how silly this book can be because of the ending.

Basically Frollo, in creepy monk form falls Phoebus. After they exchange some words, Frollo calls Phoebus a liar about meeting Esmeralda, which gets a real bee in P-boy’s bonnet and he tires to challenge Frollo.

Frollo deals him by telling him for  he is forgetting his date but poor Phoebus wants both the fight and the girl but darn he is out  cash. Frollo gives him the money in exchange for letting him watch and he ensures Phoebus that one day he will slit Phoebus‘ throat. Phoebus seems unfazed by this and lets him in the room to watch.

You have to wonder what is going through Phoebus‘ head? I know he is over confident but really. Ah well, he is probably a but drunk from the previous chapter.

 

 

Book 7, Chapter 8, The Advantage of Windows Overlooking the River  

Jean Danet as Phoebus & Gina Lollobrigida as Esmeralda,1956 Hunchback of Notre dame picture image

Jean Danet as Phoebus & Gina Lollobrigida as Esmeralda,1956 Hunchback of Notre dame

In this chapter Phoebus brings Esmeralda to the fateful room where Frollo is watching. Phoebus is ready sex Esmeralda up but she is not really in to as she is innocent and wants to maintain her purity so she can find her parents. Phoebus is working his pick-up lines and love speeches into overtime which eventually wins over Esmeralda but then Phoebus gets stabby-stab by Mr. Frollo.

Pretty much till the end of this chapter where Esmeralda is arrested, this chapter plays out on the humorous side. Gotta love Phoebus‘ butchering Esmeralda names and poor dear naive Esmeralda tell him she’ll change it for him. I do think him calling her Similar is very silly. Then there is all Phoebus’ love lines and Miss Esmeralda falling for them. It’s a rather silly chapter.

Also the description of Frollo’s face as he stabs Phoebus always reminded me of the Grinch.

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Hunchblog Twitter….

Twitter, It’s an odd thing.

https://twitter.com/thehunchblog

I should use it more.

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Quasimodo & Beach Time Antics

Quasimodo & Beach Time Antics J.E Nalbandian picture image

Quasimodo & Beach Time Antics by me

It’s a new eBook of Short Hunchback stories! This time it’s at the beach. I had hoped to get this done a lot sooner but my own summer-time antics got in way.

This eBook contains 5 short yet intersecting stories, in which  Quasimodo buys a swimsuit, Esmeralda enters a beauty contest, Fleur-de-Lys is mad at Phoebus, Frollo is insane and Gringoire finds a new  form of artist expression.

You can get right HERE. It costs $0.99 (because I got to eat) and payment is handled by Paypal.

 

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Felix the Cat the Movie Review; Fear the Paint Can Robots

Felix the Cat the Movie picture image

Felix the Cat the Movie

 

Felix the Cat The Movie was released in Europe in 1988 but not in the USA until nearly three years later. It was based on the The Felix the Cat cartoons from 1919. This movie was an attempt at a revival which didn’t work. Why didn’t work? Because this movie is pointless!

It’s just weird and turns sane minds to mush. Although, if I were to grade on a curve of all the non-Disney Princess movies I have subjected myself to so far, I would rather watch this one over Gulliver’s Travels or The Singing Princess. Not high praise but still.

Felix, Oriana, and Pim Felix the Cat the Movie picture image

Felix, Oriana, and Pim

Plot, because there is one. The Kingdom of Oriana is under attack by the Duke of Zill. The ruler of Oriana, Princess Oriana tries to escape by using the Dimensporter, a dimensional transporter, but she is caught by Zill’s evil robotic Cylinders that look like paint cans. As she is being dragged off she sheds a magic tear that goes through the Dimensporter and finds Felix the Cat.

Felix the Cat is a talking cat with a magic bag that can transform into anything. The rules and limits of the bag are never explain so just don’t think about. Felix follows the tear back through the Dimensporter and he sees a vision of Oriana as the tears fades away. Also I should note, Felix is being followed by two scientists who want his bag.

After dealing with some weird fish, Felix lands in the Land of Zill where he meets Pim, think wild west prospector. Pim double crosses Felix and takes him to Wack Lizardi’s circus. Wack is also a lackey of The Duke of Zill. Felix is then made an attraction at the circus because of the bag. Princess Oriana is also an attraction with her woeful bubble dance, she dances in a bubble.

Felix enlists the help of two lizard-mice, Mizzards to eat through the wall of his cell so he can talk to Oriana. Oriana tells him that the Duke of Zill is her uncle and he wants the Book of Ultimate power. Felix tells her that are going to escape together.

During the next performance, Felix convinces Wack to let him play the music while Oriana dances. He then creates a lot of bubbles and he, Oriana, Pim who is good now, and the Mizzards all escape.

As they flee towards the Kingdom of Oriana, Felix loses his bag but are they joined by the two scientists who found it and Felix gets it back and the scientists who are called the Professor and Poindexter, join the party. Then they go through the hair forest and they are attacked by head hunters or flying demons heads which are subdued by hats.

When they get to Oriana they are caught by Zill. Zill threatens everyone so Oriana surrenders the Book of Ultimate Power, which says the ultimate power is “Truth, Love, and Wisdom.” Unhappy, Zill unleashes the Master Cylinder on them but Felix defeats it by, I kid you not, by throwing the book at it. In the end Felix and the scientists go back home through the Dimenspoter.

Felix with the bag as scuba gear Felix the Cat the Movie picture image

Felix with the bag as scuba gear

This movie is very trippy and weird. I suppose it could have been more trippy and weird though. The trouble with it is we don’t have the sane character to walk us through the craziness. So it’s just crazy and more crazy. It should have been a fish out of water tale but Felix fits into this world too well. Everyone is weird. But then again we really don’t have characters as none of them have personalities.

Felix laughing at a skull Felix the Cat the Movie picture image

Felix laughing at a skull

Felix is nice though he mean to the dead. All he really does that gives a shade of a personality is makes puns. That’s it. If you like puns this movie will kill that love. I’m not sure what Pim’s deal is. The scientists just want the bag and they also make puns. Zill wants power. 78 minutes and that’s all I can get out of the characters.

Princess Oriana dancing  in the bubble Felix the Cat the Moviepicture image

Princess Oriana dancing in the bubble

Then we have our token Princess, Oriana. She is only a Princess in name as she’s actually a Queen. But the term Queen is used for evil crones, so we have to call her Princess. I’m just going to roll my eyes.

Oriana is  nice, slightly self-defacing and an idiot. Her country is attacked when she disbands the army even though she knew her Uncle wanted her Kingdom, or Queendom, but she’s Princess so I guess Oriana is Princessipality. Like the other characters there isn’t much to her.

Felix with Pim on a Cylinder  Felix the Cat the Movie picture image

Felix with Pim on a Cylinder

So this movie doesn’t have lasting memorable characters but how are technicals? Not very good. I mean there is a some weird animation but on the whole it’s not too great. However, where this movie really stinks is the sound mixing. The sound effects are a lot louder than the dialogue, which is great either but would have been nice to hear.

Lizards of Zill singing Who is the Boss? Felix the Cat the Movie picture image

Lizards of Zill singing Who is the Boss?

I will say that I didn’t hate one song. I kind of liked Who is the Boss, which is a song they sing at the circus about how great Zill is. It just so 80s I can’t help it. I mean it’s stupid but delightfully so.

Felix meet Oriana's tear along with the bag in its normal state  Felix the Cat the Movie picture image

Felix meet Oriana’s tear along with the bag in its normal state.

Felix the Cat the Movie is loud, trippy, weird and outright stupid. It’s not the worse movie in the world but it is quite, quite, quite, annoying.

3D head of Felix Felix the Cat the Movie picture image

3D head of Felix

Isn’t this the stuff of Nightmares?

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Next Stop After La Jolla

La Jolla Hunchback Poster picture image

La Jolla Hunchback Poster

The musical version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame is first to play at the La Jolla playhouse in San Diego on October 26 through  December 7. You can get tickets for it now.

However after that starting on March 4th through April 5th the production goes to Paper Mill Playhouse in Millburn New Jersey.  So east coast people can get a chance.

I hope they release the casting of the musical soon.

http://www.broadwayworld.com/article/Tickets-Now-on-Sale-for-Disneys-HUNCHBACK-OF-NOTRE-DAME-at-La-Jolla-Playhouse-20140802#.U_OgU15muxo 

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Fandango - Movie Tickets Online