Instead of trying to find items that reflect Hunchback characters’ style like I have done in the past, like watches one from three years ago, this year I’m going to feature one cool Hunchback  item from Amazon.

This year is a Quasimodo phone case.

Quasimodo Phone Case picture image

Quasimodo Phone Case

 

I really like the design. I love Quasimodo as a negative silhouette against Notre Dame. Really it’s a pretty perfect design. Also just on a personal level, I like green and gold as a color combo.

Josh Dallas as Prince Charming/James & Aria Pullman as the Siren ABC's Once Upon a Time, What Happened to Frederick picture image

Josh Dallas as Prince Charming/James & Aria Pullman as the Siren

Episode 13: What Happened to Frederick?

This is going to sound silly but I wished they had reversed Kathryn/Abigail’s name like Kathryn is the princess and Abigail is the real world counterpart. Also, I’m pretty sure I have the same yellow pot that David and Abigail have in their home.

In the Fairy Tale world part of the episode follows James and Abigail. Abigail doesn’t want to marry him because she too has a tragic love story. Her love, Frederick, got that Midas Touch  and is now a statue. Abigail tells James she tried the whole true love kiss but silly Frederick being a soldier and protecting his King was wearing his helmet, so the true love kiss cure doesn’t work if it’s not on the lips, oddly specific. Abigail tells James about another cure all, the water of a lake guarded by a beast who kills all who tries to take the water. Since James killed that unkillable dragon he is pretty confident he can get that water and he does. The Beast is really a sexy siren who lures men in with either her looks or the looks of other women, in this case Snow White. The Siren doesn’t know context though so James thinking Snow White doesn’t love him doesn’t fall for the lure, guess heartbreak can save the day? So Frederick is cured and they all are happy because love.  James also finds out from Red Riding hood, who is a Snow’s Pal,  that she does love him and the King made her say she didn’t love him.  King George is such a dick!

In the Storybrooke world it comes out that David is cheating on Kathryn with Mary Margaret. The trouble is David didn’t tell Kathryn about the affair just that he was leaving her and couldn’t go with her to Boston. It’s Regina who tells Kathryn and Regina also wrote “Tramp” on Mary Margaret’s car. At the end, Mary Margaret again tells David they can’t work since he wasn’t honest. These two are so back and forth. Also Kathryn tries to leave Storybrooke but curse says she can’t and gym teacher that we see earlier in the episode comes to her aid but she is gone. Also he’s Frederick. The show isn’t very subtle about elements.  Also Emma goes on a date with The Stranger. They go to a well and discuss the healing properties of water. The Stranger also restored Henry’s book and left it for Emma to find.  

I really liked this episode. Abigail is starting to get a personality. Also I find it refreshing that “other woman” is the one the audience is rooting for it but the “wife” isn’t a horrible person. Alongside Once Upon a Time, I’m watching this Turkish Drama called “Magnificent Century” which like depending on the episode you’re rooting for the other women and also the “other women” switches between two women, they are concubines.  

Anyway, super off topic. I liked that this episode was very much it’s own thing and wasn’t taking from a set Fairy Tale but it pulled more from myths. I liked that the Beast was a Siren as this show doesn’t do CG effects super well and we had seen James already fight a dragon so the mental challenge  was more interesting.

As for the Storybrooke plot, it was fine. It did seems like the plot was moving a bit forward but then backtracked with David and Mary Margaret. I do like Emma and the Stranger a.k.a August Wayne  Booth, who named these characters? Anyway good episode.  

Ginnifer Goodwin as Mary Margaret & Lee Arenberg as Leroy ABC's Once Upon a Time, Dreamy picture image

Ginnifer Goodwin as Mary Margaret & Lee Arenberg as Leroy

Episode 14: Dreamy

This story focuses on Grumpy’s backstory. Grumpy’s real first name was Dreamy. Dwarves come from eggs and they mine for diamonds which get turns into fairy dust which fuels the world. They couldn’t call it Diamond Dust since that would a Final Fantasy reference. However Dreamy is special because before he was hatched his egg was sprinkled with some fairy dust which makes him capable of love and he is in love with a novice fairy named Nova who seems to like-like him back.   However Dwarves and fairies are bound to their very fixed speice roles so they can’t be together to see the world. This leaves Nova heart-broken and Dreamy becomes Grumpy.

Meanwhile in Storybrooke, Mary Margaret is still being shunned by the town but is trying to sell candles for miner’s day. That is a day where Nuns make candle to trade with Miners for coal. Grumpy’s counterpart, Leroy, whom I’m resisting calling Leeroy Jenkins is enamored with a nun, named Astrid. Now why is Mary Margaret the one with a Nun sounding Nun but the Nun doesn’t? These names!  Anyway, Astrid is Nova’s counterpart and because of a goof she made the Nuns will get kicked out of their convent if they don’t sell all the candles by following day.. Leroy and Mary Margaret rally together but since she is the town tramp and Leroy is the town drunk they don’t sell any candles. Leroy tells Mary Margaret that Astrid was the first person that said he could do anything. Leroy then causes a blackout because some well intentioned property damage is okay. This back-out sells all the candle so the Nuns can stay. While that is happening  Kathryn is missing.  Emma rules out David as her magic internal  lie detector doesn’t go off. Sidney and Regina get the phone records from Kathryn which makes David look super shady has he called her shortly before Kathryn disappeared.

Overall this episode was a average at best. I want to like learning about the Dwarves but it didn’t really connect and felt contrived. This also left me wondering why Emma can’t detect Sidney lying back in episode 11 when all he did wass lie. Is there a reason or is this superpower plot specific? Also Nun’s paying rent for on convent? That seems odd but plot says that is the plot.  I did like how you can tells which candles are real and which ones are fake LED lights.  

Anyway it was an average epsiode, next!

I have not been keeping up with the new production of Notre Dame de Paris, bad me. So far, I think Tawaji is great Esmeralda and I will have to look more into the other comments of this production.

 

Also shameless plug since it’s Christmas time,

I hate this version. It so damn forgettable. Say what you want about Enchanted Tales or Dingo at least they are memorable, though not in a good way. This one is just so boring and dull that I find myself having to rewatch it constantly to write these posts because I can not remember anything and that’s I can’t bring myself to write the posts in a timely fashion. This version is maxing me out in so many ways. I mean how many ways can one really say this character is boring compared to other sources?

Esmeralda Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda

I guess that brings us to the lovely Esmeralda. She is pretty, at least that is what the characters tell us which is good given the lack of art style in this move I wouldn’t have known. So like in the better 1939 version, Esmeralda cares for the blight of her people. She tries to tell the king by going to his house instead of praying which I guess shows initiative.

Esmeralda Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda

WAIT a second! This Esmeralda has  initiative. She shows that a few times in this version. She tries to speak to the king directly on New Year’s Eve, she gives Quasimodo water (which is standard) and goes to see Phoebus despite being wanted for being too pretty.   Oh god a character trait! It’s been so long since I have seen one that I thought I had forgotten. I mean to be fair, her initiative is buried in poor decision making but it’s something other than being nice and romantic.

 

Esmeralda Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda

  

Too bad she is still boring. Just a boring pretty girl with eyes that shine brighter than the stars in the sky (apparently),  who is also nice and takes initiative at bad times and has a super fake French accent. This version sucks! I want to burn so at least I can get some mild entertainment out it.  

Lana Parrilla as Regina Mills & Giancarlo Esposito as Sidney Glass, ABC's Once Upon a Time, Fruit of the Poisonous Tree picture image

Lana Parrilla as Regina Mills & Giancarlo Esposito as Sidney Glass

Episode 11: Fruit of the Poisonous Tree

Former Regina minion Sidney Glass, of the daily mirror, wants to team up with Emma to expose Regina’s corruption. After a series events that really do nothing to expose Regina’s crooked ways, Emma does find trust in Sidney. Though it was all a ruse as Sidney is still Regina’s minion and it’s a trap for Emma. Also in addition to that main Storybrooke plot, Henry is trying to get the fairy tale book back as it went missing when Regina tore down the playhouse that he and Emma met to discuss their plans. The Stranger is the one who currently has the book.

The parallel story of the Fairy Tale world is about our favorite Evil Queen meeting the Genie of the Lamp. The Genie was freed by the King and the King gave the Genie his third wish which the Genie never wants to use because magic sucks. The King decides to bring the Genie to the castle and when the Genie sees the Queen he falls head over lamp for her. The Queen seems to reciprocates the Genie’s feeling but she is married and not in love with her husband. The Queen’s father begs the Genie for help to give her a box of poisonous snakes which are from his homeland. However the Genie, convinced that Queen loves him, uses the snakes to kill the King. However it dawns on the Genie that the Queen tricked him and isn’t in love with him at all. He decides to use his wish so that may be with her forever and always gaze on her face and since magic sucks in this world, he is turned into her magic mirror. Sucks for him but this pleases the Queen.

I enjoyed half this episode. I typically like the Storybrooke story more but this time I was bored by most of it but I liked the Fairy Tale world plot. It’s interesting the combination of the Genie of the Lamp turning into Magic Mirror. So often in Snow White versions there is no explanation for the Magic Mirror, the audience is just suppose to accept it, which is fine in a fairy tale. It’s just a nice touch on the show’s end to offer a story behind the mirror. I will just say I did like the twist at the end of the Storybrooke storyline where Sidney is still in league with Regina, it wasn’t mind blowing but it so in keeping with Regina’s character.  

Robert Carlyle as Rumplestiltskin & Emilie de Ravin as Belle, ABC's Once Upon a Time, Skin Deep picture image

Robert Carlyle as Rumplestiltskin & Emilie de Ravin as Belle

Episode 12: Skin Deep

Oh dear god the amount of cultural references in this episode is just funny. First off and not as referential  was at the start of the Fairy Tale Storyline where they mention a place called Avonlea that had fallen. Avonlea is where Anne of Green Gables took place and not to mention the Canadian show Road to Avonlea, which i used to love when I was a kid. It was just so random. The second of a Flower shop in Storybrooke called Game of Thorns, I think everyone can get that. David is reading Anna Karenina, which a novel mostly about adultery which he is currently engaged in with Mary Margaret. And then there is a Nurse Rachet which is from One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

So on to actual episode, this week we have Beauty and the Beast. The Beast is actually our old pal Rumpelstiktskin. Rumpelstiktskin helped Belle’s Kingdom out of being conquered from Ogres in exchange for her to be his housekeeper. Gradually they fall in love, however Rumpelstiktskin lets her go in the guise of her running an errand. While Belle in the forest she runs into that pesky Evil Queen. The Queen tells her that true love’s kiss can break any curse, it’s like a super panacea. Belle then tries it on Rumpelstiktskin which starts to work but he gets mad at her and tells her to leave. Belle, who is hurt, tells him that he will be alone forever with an empty heart and the  teacup that she chipped, which a Disney’s Chip reference. That pesky Evil Queen shows up at Rumpelstiktskin’s place and she tells him that Belle  was shunned  by her village, tortured by her father and killed herself.  Rumpelstiktskin is devastated.

Meanwhile in the real fake world of Storybrooke, Mr Gold gets something stolen him and he enlists Emma to find it. When Emma can’t find said specific item, Mr Gold kidnaps the guy who stole it and start assaulting him saying that “She is gone.” Emma arrests Mr. Gold because hitting people is wrong apparently. Regina shows up and tells Emma to hang out with Henry so she can be alone with Mr.Gold. Regina asks Mr.Gold his real name. This reveals that they both know about the Fairy Tale past. Also Belle’s counterpart is in a mental ward revealing that she didn’t die in the past.

I’m a bit mixed on this episode. On the one hand I like Rumpelstiktskin as the “beast” but he seems like a swiss-army character. He’s Beast, the Fairy Godmother, the downtrodden cursed one etc. He is everything except Rumpelstiktskin. The only thing  “Rumpelstiktskin” does is he spins straw into gold, though in truth he could have been doing anything else like turning lead in gold or making a zero calorie fudge brownie. Also just a side note, the reason why Rumpelstiktskin spins straw into gold in the fairy tale is that a miller says his daughter can spin straw into gold so the prince or king tests her and if she can’t he will kill her, so Rumpelstiktskin does it for her in exchange for stuff. It’s not like a hobby of his so I don’t why  Show Rumpelstiktskin do this. Was it mention in his backstory because I don’t recall it or explained in a later episode? The other Rumpelstiktskin thing he does is he wants babies for some reason. I’m going to bet this gets explained and  hopefully he doesn’t want to eat them.

Another thing that makes me scratch my head is Belle herself. Aside from dressing like Disney Belle, Belle doesn’t have any of Belle’s personality. I know she is different from Disney Belle but since the episode so far just rehashed Beauty and Beast the comparison between the two is more direct than Snow White and Cinderella. It’s not a big issue but feels more puzzled that Belle, who is one of the more beloved Disney Princesses, feels like an afterthought.  I do like that she is in the mental ward, that is a nice call back to the Disney movie.

The main hightlight of the Storybrooke episode was the reveal that Mr.Gold and Regina know.

Anthony Bourdain and Quasimodo picture image

Anthony Bourdain and Quasimodo

In a recent interview for his new season of Anthony Bourdain:Parts Unknown for Eater.com, Bourdain  compared himself to Quasimodo.

On feeling out of place: “I feel like Quasimodo the hunchback of Notre Dame — if he stayed in nice hotel suites with high thread count sheets, that would be me. I feel kind of like a freak, and I feel very isolated. ”

I used to watch his show No Reservations a lot and I loved that he was in an episode of Archer pretty much being himself but more of a jerk.

You can read the whole interview here 

Quasimodo crowned King of Clowns Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo crowned King of Clowns

Quasimodo  has to be the worse. In fact this is one of the worse versions of Quasimodo. He’s like a weird lesson in total apathy.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo, Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame 1996 picture image

Esmeralda and Quasimodo,

Quasimodo doesn’t do much in this movie and he says much less. Sure, he does all things that Quasimodo does in the course of the story but the execution of it just so lifeless that who the fuck really cares? Quasimodo has no definable personality and seemingly no intelligence. He doesn’t use pronouns and refers to himself as “Quasimodo.”  Some of these lines are “Quasimodo your friend” or “ Quasimodo not your friend.” These are actual lines he says in this version. Typically this method of speaking denotes cuteness or a young child, like a three year old, but it makes Quasimodo seem like he has a  low intelligence. He’s deaf not an simpering idiot.  In fact the only thing he does that is at all in line with the 1939 version is he rings the bells thinking about Esmeralda, whom he just calls his friends. No love just pals, way to dig deep into this psyche movie.     

 

Quasimodo fighting Frollo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo fighting Frollo

Aside from Esmeralda and that is really just giving her flowers, Quasimodo has no interactions with Frollo aside from the trial scene and the ending. If Frollo hasn’t said he was Quaismodo’s guardian in a line of exposition it wouldn’t been known and really it’s another example of just not caring. It didn’t matter in the scheme of things if Frollo was his guardian or not in this version because Quasimodo doesn’t care when he kill Frollo and yes Quasimodo pushes Frollo down the Bell Tower after hitting with a bell. 

Quasimodo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo with his doves

Forget not having pathos or being a pitiable character, this version of Quasimodo can’t even grasp pain.  He doesn’t care about anything so why should anyone care about this Quasimodo he has no understanding or anything which makes him boring and not sympathetic which makes nothing like his character in any version of Hunchback.

Lana Parrilla as Evil Queen, Karley Scott Collins as Gretel & Quinn Lord as Hansel ABC's Once Upon a Time, True North picture image

Lana Parrilla as Evil Queen, Karley Scott Collins as Gretel & Quinn Lord as Hansel

 

Episode 9: True North

The Evil Queen’s costumes are really starting to grow on me or they are just better than at the start of the show. This episode is about Hansel and Gretel  whose Storybrooke counterparts are orphan children. All this episode really does to move the plot is Mary Margaret sees Emma’s baby blanket and the Evil Queen gets her poison apple as the Blind Witch in the Gingerbread house had it and the Evil Queen sent Hansel and Gretel  to retrieve it for her.   Oh and the Stranger comes to town. I do wonder if no one ever leaves or goes to Storybrooke how do the get shipments of essentials? I think I’m overthinking.  

This was a weak episode, not much more you can say.

Episode 10: 7:15 A.M.

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White, ABC's Once Upon a Time, 7:15 A.M. picture image

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White

Okay, we’re back to an episode focused on Mary Margaret/Snow White and David/James/Shepherd. In the Fairy Tale world a.k.a Enchanted Forest, James is about to marry princess Abigail but instead sends a letter to Snow White asking her to come to him so they can be together. Snow White, in turn, was trying to forget him and had Rumpy make her a forget-me-now potion. However Snow goes to castle but is thrown in prison. While in the joint she meets Grumpy. One of the other dwarves springs them but gets killed in the escaped attempt, Snow White saves Grumpy and breaks things off with James claiming she doesn’t love him. After which she moves in with the Dwarves and takes the potion to forget her love even though James called off the wedding with Abigail.

Meanwhile in Storybrooke,  a storm is a brewing!  Mary Margaret however is engaging in some light stalker as she makes sure she is at the coffee place every morning at 7:15 a.m. to see David getting his coffee. Though it turns out that David is only there at that time to  see Mary Margaret so they are stalking each other, it’s like a fairy tale. However it turns out that David’s wife Catherine MIGHT be pregnant, so Mary Margaret tries to back off and instead focuses her attention on getting a Dove back to its flock  before a super heavy rainstorm. David of course follows her, saves her from death by cliff, they confess their feelings and decide they cannot stay apart. Adultery, how romantic?           

All in all, I did like this episode. I do like seeing James and Snow White romance unfold. I also like that she meets Grumpy in a dungeon cell, nice touch.  

Terrance Zdunich picture image

Terrance Zdunich

Let’s just say we live in a Fantasy world where they’re making a movie version of Notre Dame de Paris and it’s a better English translation of the musical. Who could we get to play Pierre Gringoire? One possibility I could see is Terrance Zdunich.

Terrance Zdunich picture image

Terrance Zdunich

Zdunich isn’t a widely known actor but he was in a weird horror musical called Repo! The Genetic Opera which came out in 2008. I knew about it at the time since in 2008 I was a huge Sarah Brightman fan but I couldn’t bring myself to see because Paris Hilton was in the movie. Fast-Forward to 2016, I finally watched it because I was working on a list of seven horror musicals. It was really one those movies that I found to confusing to hate but is probably not a great movie  I also was wrong about  Paris Hilton, she  was perfectly cast as a spoiled rich girl who addicted to surgery, needs drugs and isn’t a great performer, it’s a meta role. However what struck me was Zdunich as the Graverobber.

Terrance Zdunich as The Graverobber from Repo! The Genetic Opera picture image

Terrance Zdunich as The Graverobber from Repo! The Genetic Opera

I mean just look at him in this movie and tell you can’t see him as Gringoire?  There something about the styling of The Graverobber that is very reminiscent of Notre Dame de Paris. Zdunich’s mannerism are on par with a lot of Gringoire’s actors.    Even the  Zydrate Anatomy number is very similar in feeling to Val d’Amour.

But if you need more convincing just watch the Zydrate Anatomy part, which also features Paris Hilton.

Terrance Zdunich picture image

Terrance Zdunich

But what do you think? Do you think Terrance Zdunich would make a good Gringoire à la Notre Dame de Paris?

I’m very sorry to have to postpone another review post again. I hate doing postponing the post but I’m sick again and I tried to push through but spent hours trying to write and I got like four sentence in and it was crap, utter crap, worse that usual. So instead here a paper doll of Esmeralda using  the  Azalea Heroine  Doll Game in the style of  Benjamin Lacombe’s version of Esmeralda.

Benjamin Lacombe's version of Esmeralda using Azalea Heroine Doll Game picture image

Benjamin Lacombe’s version of Esmeralda using Azalea Heroine Doll Game

I do like Lacombe cute yet gothic style.

 

Esmeralda by Benjamin Lacombe Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Esmeralda by Benjamin Lacombe Notre Dame de Paris

I do like Lacombe cute yet gothic style.