The Top Ten Best Non-Disney Princess Movies

This list was also REALLY hard to compile.

Number #10

Arete trying to escape Princess Arete picture image

Arete trying to escape

Princess Arete – While it had glacier slow pacing it did have some interesting ideas and a unique style. Did I really enjoy it? No but that is a personal opinion, it was still a better than most of the Non-Disney Princess movies I reviewed, which is kind of sad.

Number #9

Clara with the Nutcracker Prince The Nutcracker Prince picture image

Clara with the Nutcracker Prince

 

The Nutcracker Prince – I’m surprised I liked this movie but it did have solid narrative and interesting take on growing up, plus the music.

Number #8

Dmitri, Anya and Vlad Anastasia picture image

Dmitri, Anya and Vlad

Anastasia – I wanted to put this higher on the list but considering the history and Rasputin as a villain the 8th spot is perfect.

Number #7

Lady Amalthea a.k.a The Unicorn's Human Form The Last Unicorn picture image

Lady Amalthea a.k.a The Unicorn’s Human Form

 

The Last Unicorn – This was an ambitious story to tell. It has its flaws but it is a good identity piece.

Number #6

Nausicaa not wearing a mask in the Sea of Decay Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind picture image

Nausicaa not wearing a mask in the Sea of Decay

 

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind – Nausicaa is a solid entertaining movie. It has issues as it tries to do too much for one movie but it’s still highly enjoyable.

Number #5

Shrek meeting Fiona's parents Shrek 2 picture image

Shrek meeting Fiona’s parents

Shrek 1 and 2- Yeah it’s a tie. But Shrek is a keystone fairy-tale parodying movie(s) with great characters and heart, plus the 3D added to the movie and at no point was I like “Oh, this thing should have been hand-drawn. What the Fuck Hollywood.”

Number #4

San and Ashitaka Princess Mononoke picture image

San and Ashitaka

 

Princess Mononoke – This is a beautiful environmenal movie. It loses points for a rushed ending but it’s forgivable.

Number #3

Pazu and Sheeta seeing Laputa Castle in the Sky picture image

Pazu and Sheeta seeing Laputa

 

Castle in the Sky- Castle in the Sky is great adventure movie with great pacing, great characters and a satisfying ending. There is just such a great balance to this movie that seems rare in cinema.

Number #2

The Tale of the Princess Kaguya picture image

Kaguya

 

The Tale of the Princess Kaguya – Again, I debated whether or not to put this at number one because I really loved this movie and it has a unique style, fluid animation and a compelling story. However this movie does have a pacing problem in the middle. That being said it is a masterwork.

Number #1

Tzipporah, The Prince of Egypt picture image

Tzipporah,

The Prince of Egypt – My biggest criticism of this movie is that it was rushed in parts which meant I wanted more of it whereas Kaguya ultimately I wanted less and that is how it nudged the top spot.

The Prince of Egypt is a gorgeous movie. It’s big on style, dynamic angles and shots and great drama. There is no denying this movie is stunning.

It’s funny that the one of the best and the worst of the Non-Disney Princess were reviewed at the very end.

The next bunch of movies are going to be Live-Action Fairy Tale movies. I’m reviewing them in sort of random order, if you want make a recommendation for a movie you can because there is A LOT of them and I hope they don’t suck or at the very least not as painful to watch, though some will be, Kstew and the Thor, I’m looking at you.

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Clopin Catsuit

Clopin Disney Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Clopin Disney Hunchback Notre Dame

At last there is exist the Clopin Catsuit, wow, trying saying that three times fast, ok it’s not that hard. Anyway I got an e-mail about a Clopin catsuit from Zentai-Zenati.com. A Zentai is a a full-body skin tight suit, I first learned what a Zentai was from an episode of Archer, episode 03×08, Lo Scandalo to be exact.

You can view it here,  http://www.zentai-zentai.com/clopin-trouillefou-costume-yellow-and-blue-spandex-lycra-catsuit-products-1898.html  (I’m not affiliated with the site, just saying.) I can’t post the picture.

I just love that a site has a Hunchback costume.

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Fleur-de-Lys of Notre Dame de Paris; She’s a Lamb Touched by Dirt

Julie  Zenatti as Fleur de Lys Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Julie Zenatti as Fleur de Lys Notre Dame de Paris

So often in adaptations of The Hunchback Notre Dame, Fleur-de-Lys gets shafted. Either she is not there, an extra or just in a few scenes and with in those scenes she is pretty much a rich bitch. The 1956 version had her in one scene were she was soften a touch though still catty. Notre Dame de Paris however took a character that really isn’t a huge character in the book and fleshed her out and gave her some depth.

Julie Zenatti as Fleur de Lys Notre Dame de Paris

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys Notre Dame de Paris

Fleur-de-Lys is the smallest role in the musical has she only has three songs, though she appears in more numbers. The minimal songs she get do reveal everything about her character and her arch.

Julie Zenatti as Fleur de Lys Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys Notre Dame de Paris

Unlike the book, Fleur-de-Lys is much younger. I believe in the book she was twenty-four whereas in Notre Dame de Paris she is fourteen. More than likely this change is based on Julie Zenatti’s age at the time she played the role, which was seventeen.

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys with Patrick Fiori as Phoebus, Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys with Patrick Fiori as Phoebus, Notre Dame de Paris

Zenatti said in tha Fleur-de-Lys loves Phoebus with a passion, which is true but her love for Phoebus is not as romanticized as Esmeralda. She knows that he is handsome and spouts out romantic lines but he is also a scoundrel and a soldier.

Fleur-de-Lys and Phoebus Julie Zenatti Patrick Fiori Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Fleur-de-Lys and Phoebus

In the Phoebus post, I mentioned that Phoebus was a double minion to both Frollo and Fleur-de-Lys and that is because at some point during the musical Fleur-de-Lys snaps and demands that Phoebus ensures Esmeralda’s death. The manner which she tells this to Phoebus is vastly different between the original version and all the subsequent versions.

Julie Zenatti as Fleur de Lys Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys Notre Dame de Paris

In the original version, Fleur-de-Lys snaps and sings her big number, La Monture, to herself and asks Phoebus to kill Esmeralda. He overhears this and with the next number tells her that he is returning to her and basically agreeing to her request. Very personally, I like the original version of La Monture, it has a a desperation and venom. It also mean that Phoebus is taking some agency with the death of Esmeralda.

Julie Zenatti as Fleur de Lys with Patrick Fiori as Phoebus, Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys with Patrick Fiori as Phoebus, Notre Dame de Paris

In other versions, Phoebus asks Fleur-de-Lys to take him back as his unfaithful heart is all better. Fleur-de-Lys then very sexually asks him to kill Esmeralda. She honey-potted him. He can’t really refuse her after that. I get why they changed it, as it makes Fleur-de-Lys look more powerful and in control and second it just make for a better on stage show number. However I do think that some one who desperate and at her wit’s end asking for someone death is more interesting than someone who is forcing someone and using sex to get what they want. Also I’m not sure why Fleur-de-Lys wants Esmeralda to die as much in other versions, it just seems like she testing Phoebus more that she is going out her mind with jealousy, but that is just me.

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys with Helene Segara as Esmeralda Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys with Helene Segara as Esmeralda Notre Dame de Paris

Fleur-de-Lys is also Esmeralda’ s foil. Where Esmeralda is earthy, sensual, innocent and exotic, Fleur-de-Lys is colder, calculating, jaded, polished and has a fairer European beauty. This is in the book but is because Fleur-de-Lys is bigger in Notre Dame de Paris the difference between the two ladies is clearer.

Julie Zenatti as Fleur de Lys Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys Notre Dame de Paris

Despite having the smallest role in Notre Dame de Paris , Fleur-de-Lys is still quite well fleashed out and really compelling.

Next Time – Moving in to the songs

Original Cast Belle NOtre dame de Paris picture image

Original Cast Belle

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The Man who Laughs Book 3, Chapters 4-6

Book 3: The Child in the Shadow

Book 3, Chapter 4, Another Form of Desert

Ten-Year-old-Nameless-Boy and Little Girl turn out to be in Weymouth. He is still cold and hungry and can’t find any help. He considers just giving up and dying but he keeps going for the little one. That’s it, next chapter. Side note I read this chapter when I was VERY sleepy and when I had to remember what chapter I was one I thought this was two and giving Hugo’s wordiness I can believe that this could have been. Geez was Hunchback this wordy, i don’t think so. I mean by Book three think we were getting into the big essays and plot had happened.

Book 3, Chapter 5, Misanthropy plays its Pranks

FUCKING FINALLY! Something! Ten-Year-old-Nameless-Boy meets Ursus and Homo. Ursus gives them his food and grips about it, they kids go to sleep and that is pretty much it and it was a long chapter to boot. Geez this book.

Book 3, Chapter 6, The Awaking

So Ursus, Homo, Ten-Year-old-Nameless-Boy and Little Girl are going to be a family, so many yays. Oh and the girl is blind.

And on to Part II Book 1, oh come on. Nothing really happened in Part I really like four plot point and the say Part II what difference does it make to say Book 4? Oh well. I’m gonna finish this book and You’re going to finish it with me.

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The Top Ten Worst Non-Disney Princess Movies

The Top Ten Worst Non-Disney Princess Movies (that were reviewed.)

In someways this was harder than the Disney sequel worst list because on the whole, I found these movies far worst, like so much worst. Most of these movies were PAINFUL to sit through.

Number #10

Princess Camille, Flip, Nemo, Icarus, and Professor Genius Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland picture image

Princess Camille, Flip, Nemo, Icarus, and Professor Genius

Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland – At best you can say Little Nemo is average, at worst it’s an insipid annoying movie with bland characters, awkward animation and ditzy dialogue. It could have been so much more. Though it was all about pie and pies are yummy and mathematical.

Number #9

Daria and Rollo The Princess and the Pea picture image

Daria and Rollo

The Princess and the Pea – While I do admit to being charmed by this movie and enjoying it a bit, it still doesn’t change that it was dumb. The main character is hardly in it at cost of a side characters and a pea that turned out not to mean anything.

Number #8

Felix, Oriana, and Pim Felix the Cat the Movie picture image

Felix, Oriana, and Pim

Felix the Cat; The Movie – This is just a WEIRD movie. Should it lose points for being weird? No, I like weird but it’s also annoyingly stupid and the sound mixing made this movie so much worse.

Number #7

Princess Glory and Prince David Guillver's Travels picture image

Princess Glory and Prince David

Gulliver’s Travels – One word, Gabby. Gabby is still one of the single most annoying things I have ever seen. Also the animation was jarring.

Number #6

Princess Yum-Yum and Tack The Thief And The Cobblerpicture image

Princess Yum-Yum and Tack

The Thief And The Cobbler – This should be lower on the list but you know what saves it? Richard Williams’ original animation. Otherwise it’s a just a train wreck. The filler animation is beyond haphazard, the songs make your ears bleed, and the characters are so weak they can’t lift a golf pencil.

Number #5

Tuptim The King and I Picture image

Tuptim

 

The King and I – This movie single-handedly made it so that the Roger and Hammerstein estate have a no-animated movie policy. Good job movie, your’s is a lameness unmatched.

Number #4

Gorbash, Peter Dickinson and Princess Milisande The Flight of Dragons picture image

Gorbash, Peter Dickinson and Princess Milisande

The Flight Of Dragons – While I do concede there was an interesting idea in this movie, it is F-ing beyond bad and boring. So many things are explained in way too much detail but more is not explain at all. How is that chick a princess? I always come back to this one as one of the worst and  it’s really hard to believe there are three worst than this but there are.

Number #3

Snow White and her Prince Happily Ever After picture image

Snow White and her Prince

 

Happily Ever After – Avoid movies with the words Happily and After in the them, your life will be greatly improved. This is one of the most annoying movies ever. The main characters are an after-thought for the side characters who make you want to lobotomize yourself with a rusty spoon. Though writing the review for it was fun mainly because this movie is so dumb, I mean they named the bad guy Maliss. Why not just name him Señor Bad-Man? Wait, that might be too clever.

Number #2

Zelia and Amin The Singing Princess picture image

Zelia and Amin

 

The Singing Princess- I debated a lot whether to put this at number one because not only was this an awful movie but the racism made really me really uncomfortable, of course the King and I was sort what racist too but this was far less entertaining. The reason it’s not Number 1 is because I had two positives instead of none which were Julie Andrews and  some nice backgrounds. And yes, the animation was terrible but it was Italy’s first animated movie so it’s a touch more forgivable. I still hate it a lot though, like a lot.

Number #1

Ella and Step-Mother Frieda Happily N'Ever After picture image

Ella and Step-Mother Frieda

 

Happily N’Ever After- This movie has no excuse for being bad. It wasn’t the first anything, it was a massive immature cash grab. It was an ugly uninspired anus of movie that only positives was that Bender’s was a voice in it and I don’t think John DiMaggio was trying, I mean why would he? Quite literary I hated everything about this movie.

If the life of an unfamiliar puppy was on the line and I had to either watch Happily N’Ever After or Milo’s Return to save it, I think I would pick Milo’s Return but if were my life I would pick the sweet embrace of the grim reaper but since it’s a puppy I’d pick THE DISNEY SEQUAL OVER THIS SHIT, because it’s shorter and the lava dog was cute.

 

Next Time the Best, which was also hard to compile.

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Musical videos from Papermills

I have not been keeping up on this  but here are two  videos.

Ok I didn’t really want to interject my thoughts BUT if this musical production is “bare” what does that make Notre Dame de Paris? Non-existentant? I will also say that the videos I have seen from the shows are really good, the singers convey the emotions very well and I like play with the ensemble in Out There, gotta love the no gargoyles stance.

Also Bonus, in case you missed it,
Josh Groban is doing a cover of Temps des Cathedrales on his new album Stages
http://www.idolator.com/7584158/josh-groban-new-album-stages-kelly-clarkson

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Clopin of Notre Dame de Paris; Rules his Court from on High

Luck Mervil as Clopin from Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Luck Mervil as Clopin from Notre Dame de Paris

Clopin is a complex character in Notre Dame de Paris. He is both intense and tender. If he differs between the cast versions, it’s it most likely that the he is either playing up his intenseness or keeping it to the base level for the character.

tu sais Esmeralda and Clopin Helene Segara Luc Mervil Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Esmeralda and Clopin

Like in the Book Clopin runs the the Court of Miracles. It is a little vague if the Court of Miracles is strictly his group of Gypsies and refugees or beggars but I think it the combination. Speaking of which, Clopin and Esmeralda go way back. When Esmeralda’s mother died, she trusted Esmeralda’s care to Clopin so he is like a father-figure to her. This relationship is complicated for Clopin as Esmeralda grows and becomes a beauty woman, he starts seeing her as in a romantic light which doesn’t seem to like that much.

Luck Mervil as Clopin from Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Luck Mervil as Clopin from Notre Dame de Paris

Like Esmeralda, Clopin hates distinctions between of race, culture and social class. Clopin dislike of these facet of human nature is where Esmeralda got them in the place. This also also makes up the core subject of most of Clopin’s songs, the other subject is Esmeralda.

Luck Mervil as Clopin from Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Luck Mervil as Clopin from Notre Dame de Paris

Because Clopin is so focus of the blight of his people and social inequality he does have the fun and somewhat carefreeness of other Clopins. Of all othe Clopin, I think Notre Dame de Paris is the least fun. He does make a few quips like that Poets are only fit to be hanged and he looks like he have fun during that number, tough who wouldn’t singing on a suspended metal girder, it has to be fun. Though Gringoire getting to swing around in that bag looks fun too.

Luck Mervil as Clopin from Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Luck Mervil as Clopin from Notre Dame de Paris

Notre Dame de Paris Clopin does differ from the book as, Clopin in the book didn’t care about social inequality, he just wanted to beg and drink. While I do sprout purity to the book, I do like this changed to character. It gives him interest and more purpose.

Luck Mervil as Clopin from Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Luck Mervil as Clopin from Notre Dame de Paris

Clopin in Notre Dame de Paris is less fun than other version but he has the most social conscious of the Clopin and that makes him an interesting and compelling version of the character from the book.

Next Time Fleur-de-Lys

Julie Zenatti as Fleur de Lys Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Julie Zenatti as Fleur de Lys Notre Dame de Paris

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The Man who Laughs Book 3, Chapters 1-3

Book 3: The Child in the Shadow

We did it, cheers to Book 3, here’s hoping it’s better that Book Ocean is Scary Three. Also the title of this book reminds of the title of Hedgehog in the Fog, but that is just me. Highfives if you know that animation short (click here to watch)

Book 3, Chapter 1, Chesil

Chesil is a beach in Dorset, England. So we are back with our old/young pal, Ten-Year-old-Nameless-Boy. Basically this chapter tells us that our pal is stilling walking and it’s cold and snowy. He then sees smokes and head toward. At the end he finds the foot prints of a woman going in the direction of the smoke.

Book 3, Chapter 2,The Effect of Snow

Ten-Year-old-Nameless-Boy finds a friend, still no dialogue. In this chapter he finds his second corpse of the evening, a woman, the poor woman has a child with her, a little girl that the book says is about five or six but uses the word infant. Anyway this was a more interesting chapter.

Book 3, Chapter 3. A Burden Makes a Rough Road Rougher

Ten-Year-old-Nameless-Boy walk holding the little girl. We learn that it has been FOUR hours since Ten-Year-old-Nameless-Boy was left behind, and yet Hugo’s endless descriptions of the sea made it seem like it was so much longer. Anyway, he struggles more carrying the girl but he reaches a town however when he knocks on door no one answers.

Remember, Read The Man Who Laughs along with me and find the joy in Hugo’s very long descriptions about ocean waves, can’t seem to left this go.

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A Not-Update on the Brolin version

I think we have all pretty much written this version off as ever getting made but the other day I couldn’t resist checking google news for it. And not surprsingly I didn’t find anything  but I did find it getting a minor plug in articles that were talking about Yimou’s Zhang upcoming movie Great Wall which were from December 2014, as the MOST recent. And all it said is that Zhang Yimou was linked to the Quasimodo movie. I just found that a little silly, (article here.)

 

Also just going to ask for the sake of  my curiosity, would anyone be interested in the blog go on Patreon? I somehow doubt there is much interest in supporting the blog in that capacity and that is okay  but I figure that getting average idea doesn’t hurt, it would also mean new exclusive content for patrons (pretty sure that is how it works.)   I just wanted to ask you, the readers for clarity.

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Comparatively The Top Ten Best Disney Sequels

Number 10

101 Dalmatians II; Patch's London Adventure picture image

Patch

 

101 Dalmatians II: Patch’s London Adventure – Aside from the meanness of the puppies, I was surprised by this one. I thought it would suck but It was largely ok. It didn’t rehash and the satire on art was silly. Cruella is also a villain that I would think wouldn’t learn her lesson so her doing what she does in this one  is understandable.

Number 9

Mulan and Shang Mulan II picture image

Mulan and Shang

Mulan II – Let’s be real here, Mulan 2 doesn’t measure up to Mulan but as a movie it doesn’t suck that much and that’s all a Disney sequel as really be.

Number 8

Pocahontas and Rolfe, Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World picture image

Pocahontas and Rolfe

Pocahontas II: Journey To A New World – Pocahontas 2 did have a lot of dull annoying parts but as a story it worked. It continued the story in a logical direction and none of the characters were overly annoying and Pocahontas’ bodyguard drinking tea, classic.

Number 7

Timon in drag with his mother and Uncle Max The Lion King 1 1/2 picture image

Timon in drag with his mother and Uncle Max

The Lion King 1 1/2 – This might have checked out higher except for the midquel chunks. I really loved the start and end of the movie but the parts that kill it just poop on the original which was the point.

Number 6

Kiara and Kovu, The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride picture and image

Kiara and Kovu

The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride – Again this one might have ranked higher if not for the fan-fiction-ness of the plot. But aside from the weirdness in the plot, which is a big factor, the other aspects of the movie are fine, the songs are good as well as the animation and the characters are fine except for Simba, who the plot makes into a tool and that Andy Dick lion but he dies.

Number 5

Nita and Kenai Brother Bear 2 picture image

Nita and Kenai

Brother Bear 2 – I’m a little surprised at myself for putting this at number 5 but Brother Bear 2 did approve from the first one, I mean it made that little bear more BEARable, heh, puns. It may have been contrived but it was an enjoyable little movie.

Number 4

Iago and Jafar, The Return of Jafar picture image

Iago and Jafar, The Return of Jafar

The Return of Jafar – It was the sequel that started it all but Return Jafar did give us a different story as it looked a minor character from the first movie and gave him an interesting characterization. The movie in it of itself isn’t that bad and it did continue the story.

Number 3

Cassim, Iago, Jasmine, Abu, Aladdin, Aladdin and the King of Thieves picture image

Cassim, Iago, Jasmine, Abu, Aladdin, Aladdin and the King of Thieves

Aladdin and the King of Thieves – Personally I don’t really like this movie but it is decent looking and has a semi-interesting story about Aladdin and his dad. I wish the other characters did more but it was a good way to end Aladdin, though that treasure hunting plot was dumb.

Number 2

Cinderella and The Prince Cinderella III: A Twist in Time picture image

Cinderella and The Prince

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time – Yeah. it’s a dumb plot but it gave characters to characters who needed them. Cinderella and the Prince have to work to be together which makes us care for them. It also has good humor and looks good. I love the Prince jumping out the window when the king tells not to take another step down the stairs.

Number 1

Cody and Marahute The Rescuers Down Under picture image

Cody and Marahute

The Rescuers Down Under – Yeah this really isn’t fair as this movie is part of the Disney Cannon but screw it, my list. This is the only sequel that is better than original. It’s bigger and grander and the animation is stunning. I would say it lacks some emotional feels that the original has but I think the scope and the characters make up for that.

Next time the worst of the Non-Disney Princess Movies…… this might be more painful than the sequels.

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