Kim Kardashian picture image

Kim Kardashian

In my life I have to live with the fact that I have two thing in common with Kim Kardashian, which is two more than I could ever wish. One we are both half Armenian and we share the same birthday though a years apart. Because you may not know it though I do, today is our (eww) birthday. So because I like to scare myself  today we have a terrifying casting idea  which is Kim Kardashian as Esmeralda.

Kim Kardashian as Ava from emptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor picture image

Kim Kardashian as Ava from emptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

First off, No! A thousand times NO to this one! Kim Kardashian couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag even if her role was a paper bag. The lady CAN NOT act. I saw a clip from  Temptation:Confessions of a Marriage Counselor in which she played, I have no idea, some lady named Ava. But in that one clip I could see that she was vapid, flat and unpleasant to watch. It’s like she had no idea what acting is or how to read a line.  It wasn’t even that bad kind of acting that is special to behold, it was like wanting to hammer yourself in the head till it stopped.

I maintain my position that Esmeralda is not a complex role to play but Esmeralda as a role is beyond Kim Kardashian acting powers. Now to be fair Kim Kardashian is not known for her acting prowess, she know she for a sex type and being a reality show star, whatever that means. So the mere idea of her being Esmeralda goes against the concept of the original character, a pure girl who is unaware of sexual appeal.

Kim Kardashian picture image

Kim Kardashian

On the acting front she is a Hell No but let’s not forget what acting is really about, how much a person looks like the character. I would say  Kim Kardashian could look like Esmeralda. Esmeralda has dark exotic yet European beauty at least in the book. As I said Kim Kardashian is half Armenian which is also what Helene Segara is ethically. Unlike Helene Segara, Kim Kardashian has a classic Armenian look. While I don’t think Esmeralda was Armenian in the novel, though we don’t know what her father was so she could be anything, Sister Gudule did wonder if Esmeralda could have been the Queen of Armenia in the book so shrugs. My guess it was an exotic place to Sister Gudule but it’s cool that it was mentioned. So Kim Kardashian gets a pass on looks. Though she is a little too old for the role.

Kim Kardashian picture image

Kim Kardashian

Never have I been more scared of an Anti-Hypothetical casting posting. I mean Anti-Hypothetical and Kayne West could do this if the wanted to and can you imagine Kayne West playing Quasimodo opposite Kim Kardashian  as Esmeralda. Being in a slasher flick would be less painful.

2 Thoughts on “Anti-Hypothetical Casting for Esmeralda; Kim Kardashian

  1. Esmee on 10/21/2015 at 6:48 pm said:

    Let me just thank you in advance for the nightmares I’ll be having.
    I agree-Kim would just be a NO!!!!!!!!! Although, to a certain extent I disagree with you in that, I think Esmeralda would be somewhat complex of a role for most of celebs who could get butts in the seats.
    As far as looks go, Kim is conventionally (I’m not attracted to her), but she doesn’t have the innocent sensuality to play the role…Kim is basically all overt sexuality, which to me reads kind of sleazy.
    This is one of those scary anti-hypotheticals where if it actually were to happen, I’d have to boycott and probably change fandoms.

    • jess on 10/22/2015 at 7:20 pm said:

      Compared to Frollo and Quasimodo, Esmeralda is an easy role to play though it’s not a role that just any one can play. There is a complexity to how to is written in the book where an actress needs to come off as charming well being shallow and that I would agree and say wouldn’t be easy.

      I’m glad you found this casting scary, I was scared writing it.

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