Justin Bieber picture image

Justin Bieber

Last week Ariana Grande as Esmeralda was the Anti-Hypothectical casting pick but let’s keep that scry casting for Notre Dame de Paris or a general musical movie going for Phoebus with Justin Bieber. This suggestion came from Haylley and it was too scary.  Posting pictures of this guy is causing me to gag.

Justin Bieber is a shit. He started as a punchable teen ideal with high pitched voice singing about Shawty and what not. Then he turned into more of a shit with a string of DUIs and egging his neighbor’s house.  Now he makes songs about douchey apologies and being confused about mixed-signals that seem to be meta in intent. You can probably figure I’m not a fan but the question is  how would  he be for the role of Phoebus?

Justin Bieber picture image

Justin Bieber

Let’s start with Phoebus as he is in Notre Dame de Paris, a womanizing smug-ass douche. On paper Justin Bieber could work as a personality. But the idea of his vocals singing Dechire/Torn Apart or Belle  fills me with absolute dread. Just so many noes.

Justin Bieber picture image

Justin Bieber

How about Disney Phoebus?  If we go off of the stage musical where Phoebus actually sings despite that the Disney movie had Kevin Kline who is a fantastic singer then again Bieber fits Phoebus’ character at the start of the show but I doubt he could pull off Phoebus’ character arc as Bieber is not an actor. Also again Bieber near any Hunchback production turns my blood ice cold.

Justin Bieber picture image

Justin Bieber

No to this one, a billion noes. There is nothing even slightly good about this idea, it too horrific for words. Even writing about it is causing me to break out in goosebumps, a cold sweat, and sinking feeling in my stomach.

 

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