Okay so no joke I first got  Mako: Island of Secrets which is the spin off to H20: Just add Water. What are the odds? But when I went to watch it I couldn’t find  it on Netflix streaming.  There is however the Netflix original show  Mako Mermaids which is not the same thing.

As I didn’t not foresee the Movie/Tv show that I randomly get not being available  I suppose I should make addendum to the rules in which I will re-spin if the assign movie/show is not available for streaming. I mean I would have watched it but it’s not there for me to watch and since I purposefully didn’t add Hulu to the mix I won’t watch things on there for this purpose. Nor can I really get the  physical copy of the movie/show So re-spining…..

And we got How to Train your Dragon: Dawn of the Dragons Racers   

Hiccup and Toothless How to Train your Dragon Dawn of the Dragons Racers picture image

Hiccup and Toothless

I like the How Train your Dragon movies but this seems sparse in terms of scope. Sure it’s for a straight to DVD video  but it just very meh and makes me wish I was watching one of the other movies. What I liked about the first movie was the lighting which this doesn’t have. It’s looks flat. At least Toothless is still cute

The story is told as flashback on the formation of The Dragon Racing. Basically we have a basic tradition vs modernity story. Regattas are  boring and old fashion and Dragon racing is cool and hip. My issue that takes me right on out is the use of the word Regatta which is Italian in origin and comes out the 17th century. This story is set with vikings, or roughly 760 to 1060.

So ergo Regatta CAN NOT BE OLD FASHION to to their own world building.  Oddly though if you look up viking boat race on google you get a to the howtotrainyourdragon wiki for the Regatta. Then again they are using Scottish accent for Norwegians so I don’t think there is much attention to internal consistency. Somehow the word Regatta gets annoys me more than the name of the characters or the place of Berk. Then again this is fantasy so I shouldn’t be so nitpicky about a word choice. I’ll admit that.

My point is they could have picked a better word then Regatta, their target audience wouldn’t have know the word so who cares?   Also Stoic is totally cool with forgoing the boat race for Dragon racing so whatever. Let’s turn something inclusive that most of the people can watch to something exclusive that no one can really watch. At least Toothless is still cute!

I feel like this whole thing is How to Train your Dragon: Quidditch Style. It’s not even a race it’s getting sheep for a points. It’s more like flying polo.

Also where did the snow area come from? During the race there was a snowy area. Where was that ? Up a mountains? Another planet? A Fjord? Answer me! Because nothing else was snowy.

While I do like the other How Train your Dragon movies this was not good and more confused then entrained. At least Toothless was cute!!!!!!

Season 1 Episode 1 H20: Just add Water

Cariba Heine as Rikki, Phoebe Tonkin as Cleo & Claire Holt as Emma H20: Just add picture image

Cariba Heine as Rikki, Phoebe Tonkin as Cleo & Claire Holt as Emma, H20: Just add Water

I can appreciate that this children/teen show from Australia is not for me or my demographic but that being said everything about it sucks except for that one dolphin.

The premise is that these three teenage girls get stranded on a creepy island after a rich bully was a jerk. On this island they find this tide pool that was in a dormant volcano and somehow being in the water with a full moon causes moon magic to happen. So now when they touch water they turn into mermaids and they have water magic. Maybe the mechanics of the how is addressed later.

This show has a very 80’s approach to it. It feels like it was made in the 80’s but it’s from 2006. However it having an outdate vibe doesn’t make it bad, you know what does?  Everything. The acting is stilted and unnatural. The camera work is dreadful unless it’s underwater.

Even the structure of how the characters are introduced is awful. They just show up. I guess they all go to school together. Emma swims, that is her introduction. She’s on the swim team. Then Cleo gets tricks on a boat by the rich bully, the kind of character you see in every teen movie in the 80s. The rich asshole does this because the boat is broken because his spark plug was taken and for some reason he gets Cleo on the boat before untying it. Why does he do this? He’s an asshole.

The the last  girl, Rikki, jumps on the boat to saves Cleo. Rikki is the one who stole the spark plug, she admits this because tell don’t show.  They then boat around and run in Emma who joins them for boating fun-times.  That is how these three come to together. We don’t know much about them before said metamorphous.

At least we know that Emma is motivated, maybe. Rikki is impulsive, maybe.  And Cleo is timid, I guess.         

This is show awful, everything sucks. I suppose if you like attractive young ladies swimming you could like it. Or if you want ever wanted Splash meets the Secret Life of Alex Mack but with a Australian 80’s/2000’s vibe this could be the show of your dreams, but that is very specific.

Now that Once Upon a Time is done I thought it would be a good time to do another round of random picks from Netflix but this time with Fantasy movies. Since Fantasy is like Fairy Tales.

Every Thursday in June there will be a review of some random Fantasy movie off Netflix.

Just like last time the selection is through https://reelgood.com/roulette/netflix.  There will be no re-rolls, you have my word.

A few guidelines;

  • If I get a show I will only watch/review the first episode.
  • I reserve the right to stop watching the movie/show at least the 30 minute mark. It does take me a lot to quit a movie but I don’t want to waste my worthless time either.
  • If I have seen the movie before I will still review it but in the event that I get a movie/show I have already reviewed before I reserve the right to re-roll but I shall make a note in the post of that event.  The odds of very low of though so I don’t imagine that will happen.

First one is on June 7th!

Idris Elba picture imahe

Idris Elba

A few days ago it was announced that Idris Elba is going to direct, star, and produce, and create the  music for an upcoming version of Hunchback. I want to make a joke about him catering the project too but only because The Critic TV show.

This version will be a Netflix original and will be a modern version, so akin to Quasimodo d’el Paris though I doubt it will be a comedy BUT it was the last movie version to be made. However according the vulture and THR articles it will be a “sonic and musical experience,” so a musical.

This will not be Elba’s first foray in directing, producing, or music. He has directed Yardie  and the Netflix comedy series Turn up Charlie. He has a music credit on Jay-Z’s American Gangster soundtrack album back in 2007 as well as other credits. He is also a DJ and a musician.  Elba is producing the film alongside his producing partner Ana Garanito, Fred Berger (La La Land), and Brian Kavanaugh-Jones (Midnight Special).

The project is also being written by Michael Mitnick, who has written screenplay for The Giver,  The Current War and The American.

While this is exciting, I would like to see a release date before I get too hyped.

What are your thoughts on this project? A Modern Musical of Hunchback on Netflix? Or are you more hyped to find what what Josh Brolin means by “Jazzy”? Or making sense of the roles in the Max Ryan version?

 

 

(Sources)
http://www.vulture.com/2018/05/idris-elba-playing-hunchback-of-notre-dame-for-netflix.html
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/idris-elba-star-hunchback-notre-dame-netflix-1111638
http://collider.com/idris-elba-hunchback-of-notre-dame-netflix/

 

Statue of Saint Sara la Kali picture image

Statue of Saint Sara la Kali

May 24th marks the Feast day of Saint Sara  also known as Sara la Kali. She is venerated at Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer in the South of France. It is a place of pilgrimage for the Roma to honor Saint Sara la Kali.

But who was Saint Sara? There are a few accounts about her origins. Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer was the place that the three Marys fled to after leaving Palestine. Saint Sara was said to have saved them. In other accounts she was their servant from Upper Egypt and othe othe say she was an Egyptian Princess.

Saint Sara makes her first appearance in Golden Legend which is collection of hagiographies by Jacobus de Voragine which is from the late medieval period. The Legend of the Saintes-Maries (1521), where she is portrayed as “a charitable woman that helped people by collecting alms, which led to the popular belief that she was a Gypsy.”

Though Ronald Lee, a Canadian Romani writer, linguist and activist suggested in 2001 that Saint Sara la Kali  was part  who is actually part of Kali/Durga and that Goddesses were transferred to a Christian figure. This is due to how she is worshipped on her feast day.    

While it’s unclear what Saint Sara la Kali’s origins were, what is very clear is the devotion and love she inspires in her followers. Devotees say she their “mother.” The first aspects of the veneration of Saint Sara la Kali is the pilgrimage to Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer.  The pilgrimage is an important aspect of spirituality to the Romani, and they have been making the Pilgrimage to Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer since the 19th Century.

The next aspect of the veneration of Saint Sara la Kali is her effigy which is kept underground in the church. The statue is dressed in bright clothing made by the Romani.  A tiara adorns her head. People touch and kiss her clothing. They pin notes to them, leave photos of departed loved ones and trinkets.

The statue of Saint Sara la Kali is then carried from the church to the sea in a ritual bath so to speak. It also reacts her arrival in France. The ritual is also parallels the worship of Kali. The procession is a grand affair led by the Archbishop of Arles and Aix-en-Provence, complete with people singing, playing instruments and men on horseback.  

Martine Guillot is a lay member of the ministry team at the church. “In all the stories about Sara, I think the most important thing about her is that she loved and served the Holy Marys, and if she loved them she also loved Jesus,” she says.

She’s an icon of love and welcome.”  (Source)

Thanks to Fatma for suggesting this post!

Sources
http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/0/28211422
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Sarah
https://sacredmysticaljourneys.com/festival-st-sarah-black-madonna/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Legend
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_Lee

 

Leaving Storybrooke

Lana Parrilla as Regina, Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White & Josh Dallas as Charming Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 22 Series Finale Leaving Storybrooke picture image

Lana Parrilla as Regina, Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White & Josh Dallas as Charming

Wish-Rumble’s plan was to separate everyone into their own stand-alone stories, meaning everyone is all alone. Although Zelena is on the Nautilus and hates fish.  However Regina uses her love to save Henry from the darkness that would makes Wish-Rumple’s plan happen. In the process OGRumble destroys Wish-Rumble by giving his heart to Wish-Hook which cures him of the poison. Not sure HOW THIS WORKS! But methinks the creators don’t either so just go with it. Anyway Rumble dies and reunites with Belle, Happy ending for Rumbelle.  

Then Regina cast a “curse” that brings all the realms together so all the wish people, all the other story realms, all the time-travel stuff all live in Maine. Now try, TRY to figure out the timelines and who is who. For some characters there are three versions of them. For instance Henry; there is Storybrooke Henry, Wish-Henry and Adult Henry.

WAIT! If all the realms are merged that means Henry doesn’t go to the Other Enchanted forest to meet Ella and therefore Lucy shouldn’t exist. Also if all the realms are merged  would THAT mean Rumple and Belle would be back in Storybrooke since future Rumple and Belle died but technically canonically in the timeline they would have been traveling around the Enchanted Forest with Gideon? But you’re not supposed to think of about it too much, just go with it.

Another thing they added that was pure fan-service was the dialogue about Lily’s dad being Zorro. WTF! Sure, I like everyone (I assume) wanted this addressed but a one line about Zorro being a dragon feels like a diss and a tease.  

Also speaking of tease was Henry being Rumple’s undoing, since they made us recall the seer from season 2 in the last episode. I guess yes since Wish-Henry stopped Wish-Rumble’s plan but really it was OGRumble that stopped Wish-Rumble.     

Anyway let’s talk about the big ending. With all the realms united Regina is electived the Good Queen to rule them all. I guess Storybrooke takes after Naboo with electing Queens. The show teases about why Emma isn’t there only to have Emma shows up with her baby and  a meta line about how she wouldn’t miss the event. Though Hook baby-proofing his hook was cute. AND AGAIN timelines and ages on these kids makes no sense but then again JUST GO WITH IT!

Anyway this was a fine ending for Regina, she gets her happy ending or her second chance. Regina’s and Rumble endings are both great and fitting for their character but the sloppiness  of getting all that fan-service and timeline brought the series finale down.

Then again if you just go with it and not think too deeply it’s fine, it’s all fine.

Josh Brolin Interview for Men in Black picture image

Josh Brolin Interview for Men in Black

Funny story, I posted the screenrant article but in the span of 10 minutes from me finding the article (which was an hour old when I got my daily google alert) to me posting it on Facebook, it got removed but I did find this denofgeek article which says  pretty much the same thing.  Here is a screenshot just prove the screenrant article was on googlenews.

So here we are with Brolin back with his Quasimodo vanity project.

Apparently the point of contention was the choice of director.  Zhang Yimou, who directed Hero, House of Flying Daggers and The Great Wall, was not approved by the studio and the project just fizzed out. That’s the story.

Brolin hopes to make the movie bigger than before  which a weird thing to say given the director he picked originally but sure whatever let’s go with what Brolin says. I hope it will still be “jazzy” like he intimated years ago.

However according to the denofgeeks article  this project is still in limbo, so let’s not get too excited.

Also, also there was a weird tidbit in the screenrant article, which you can’t read BUT did exist,  in that article there was mention of Mark Ruffalo being linked to a live-action version of the Disney version.  And here is the article on that,

https://screenrant.com/disney-quasimodo-hunchback-notre-dame-remake/

It just speculation. Though oddly that Esmeralda POV project is getting mentions in these articles.

Anyway all this “news” is just speculation. Until there is more information don’t except a new version unless it’s the Dinklage/Dance version or the Hollander version. Those projects are too recent to be dead yet, maybe.

 

Homecoming

Colin O'Donoghue as Wish Hook, Andrew J. West as Henry Mills, Robert Carlyle as Rumble & Lana Parrilla as Regina Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 21 Homecoming picture image

Colin O’Donoghue as Wish Hook, Andrew J. West as Henry Mills, Robert Carlyle as Rumble & Lana Parrilla as Regina

This is the penultimate episode, after this episode there is one episode left before it’s done, done, done or until  there is another reboot maybe. This episode is the ultimate example of the main issue Once has; the creators have good story talent, they are good at coming up with ideas BUT they don’t have much in the way of literary talent, they can’t execute their ideas which result in sloppy narratives.

With the timelines and mythos who  can keep up and this is the case in point with the Wish realm. Oh, the wish-realm, I hated it from the first and I still have it now. Basically Wish-Rumble (Wumble?) or New Rumple (Numble?), going with Wish-Rumble, he doesn’t want OGRumble (got that off of reddit), to get rid of the dark one powers since that would mean Wish-Rumble would lose his powers, though that doesn’t make any sense since the wish-realm people are different entities. I mean Snow and Charming didn’t die when Regina killed their Wish-realm equivalents. After this a series of manipulations and cameos ensues. Oh the cameos we have Pan, Cruella and Ariel. Aside from Ariel, the cameos don’t make sense. Like what is Cruella doing there? She was sent to The Land without Magic prior to Regina casting the Dark Curse and that when the time-line shifted so how did she get back? Then again how was Wish-Henry born in the first place?  

Wish-Rumble’s plan involves kidnapping Lucy and Jacinda to get Henry to give him the OG Dark One Dagger.

But really  Wish-Rumble wants the author’s power and has Wish-Henry on his side to exact revenge on Regina for killing Snow and Charming and taking Emma away. So that is the last plot line of the show, more Rumple being evil and power hungry. But it’s at least a different Rumble so the character progression isn’t lost.

What would have been Wish-Rumble’s plan if Henry had given Wish-Rumble the dagger?

Also Alice and Robin use the food truck and get to Storybrooke using a magic bean, which are super rare except when they are not.  They are on a mission to save Regina. New-Hook, OGRumple, Henry, Jacinda and Lucy.

None of this make contextual-sense, the only thing that makes sense is that Wish-Henry would want revenge of Regina. Is that enough for a final plot line that brings out all the cameos and ties up the convoluted plot of whatever Wish-Rumble is actually planning? Maybe and no. The wish-realm was stupid from the onset and is still dumb but now it’s all mucked up since Wish-Rumble and OGRumble’s powers are tied up together even though they are different versions that otherwise have no affect on each other?  Though given the show’s love of twists who knows what Wish-Rumble really wants. Maybe he just needs a hug.

I did like the call back to the seer from back in season 2. I wish that had been more of thing but better late than never, especially with this show.

All in all this episode is a C-.    

 

Is this Henry Mills?

Jared S. Gilmore as Henry & Lana Parrilla as Regina Once upon a Time Season 7 Episode 20 is this Henry Mills? picture image

Jared S. Gilmore as Henry & Lana Parrilla as Regina

In the end it didn’t matter who the other coven members were because they are trees or what Facilier’s plan was because Wish Dark One Rumple killed him. All your Fan theories sucked! They were all Plot-fodder.

Anyway on with the episode. Apparently everything is in a time paradox and the Hyperion Height stuff is running along with Henry’s senior year and Adult Henry talkes to his young self meaning that the curse needed to happen so Henry could a realm hopping or Lucy wouldn’t be born. Now timeline are even more meaningless then they were before because no one could figure it before and now definitely no can make sense of it so don’t try.

It should be noted that the Storybrooke people wouldn’t have known that they were missing anyway even with the time-travel plot since as far the Storybrooke people knew Regina, Henry and the others were in another Realm anyway. Or was there communication in the intervening years and they never spoke about it? Doesn’t really matter because the scene with the two Henrys was good. Just wish they explained why Henry got to keep his name and not had another pseudonym.       

Henry wakes up when after talking to Regina he calls himself in that time-paradox thing. So he wakes up and then he breaks the curse when he kisses Regina after she got knocked-out during a witch fight with Gothel.  So it WAS a reversal of the parent-child true love kiss as it’s the child kissing the parent. Good! That was a nice reversal, it did sort of happened on season 6 with Henry and Emma after the Gideon fight but that wasn’t a Dark Curse breaking.

Then Tilly/Alice very quickly turns Gothel into a tree ruining her menace. In the end it was all very simple and easy. Now they JUST have to deal with Wish-Rumple and not Facilier. But to be fair Once Upon a Time has done this type of  conclusion before, where the menace is built up and resolved very quickly or sometime not at all. Still want to know how Mulan and Aurora saved Philip’s soul from the wraith! But that is season 2 baggage.    

The acting was the highlight of this episode but the plot having so much build-up for little pay-off and with wish-Rumple no payoff, the episode felt very flat for what it was trying to accomplish.

Flower Child

Emma Booth as Gothel Once upon a Time Season 7 episode 19 Flower Child picture image

Emma Booth as Gothel

Not sure where to begin with is this one. On a semi-positive note we learn Gothel’s backstory and motivation. Turns out Gothel is a wood nymph from the Land without magic.  Gothel was a bit like Ariel and enjoyed human things but some girls go all mean girl on her and then slaughter her family. Gothel, in revenge, kills all of humanity and leaves with one other magical human who is one of the coven members. Before she leaves she tells us that humans will evolve again and she wil return to wipe out all the humans again.  Bender would be proud.

This is dumb. First off evolution doesn’t work like that! You really need to turn off your brain for this to even make a little sense and it’s asking too much. The reason for the why the sets and feel of the past scenes was just to have the twist. You think it’s set in a magic realm BUT NOPE it’s the Land without Magic, and Gothel made it that way.  Once is good at twists because they are seldom set-up.

Second from a storytelling standpoint how did the humans even get in the wood nymph’s grotto? Anytime Gothel went in she used magic? So how did they get in? Sure, Gothel’s motivation for killing all the humans ups the ante from past seasons where the threats were all localized to Storybrooke but this season use of bad guys has been so all over the place with fake outs and misdirection that it’s kind a of waste. Wasn’t Gothel also trying to revive that character from the haunted mansion ride? Did the show forget that? Or was she there amongst the  coven members. Also did that show suggest that wood nymph grove was in Seattle? So there was modern looking human structures AND fully evolved humans in Seattle millions of years ago? My mind in caving in on itself!!!

The Hyperion Heights has Gothel trying to make nice with Tilly, a.k.a her daughter, as Tilly is special. Damn right is Alice/Tilly special! She is the daughter of a wood nymph and a person created from a wish. She is one of the most magical beings in the show. Gothel reveals Rogers and Tilly’s relationship and they believe her. Then Tilly goes along with Gothel’s ritual. Also, also, the coven gets woken up with neary a problem.

The B-plot is more Henry and Jacinda related curse breaking stuff. Facilier and Lucy team up to cure Henry of curse-breaking killing poison. Turns out it was an easy fix since they find since all they need is Cinderella’s shoe WHICH was also easy to find since Jacinda had it. So Henry gets cured of plot related poison and Henry and Jacinda kiss but that doesn’t break the curse because OF COURSE IT DOESN’T. These dark curses are only broken through paternal love. The sleeping curse is broken through true love kiss. So is it going to Henry kissing Lucy to break the curse in a season one reversal? OR is it something else?

So one of the coven members is a no-one named Seraphina. No-one meaning she is not a fairy-tale story character, instead she is a million year old magic user. I bring this up because we still have the mystery of Dr.Sage. Which I only bring up because on Henry’s whiteboard there is a note next to her name that he doesn’t know how she is.  The coven plot and its members have been sloppy.

Also when Gothel offers Seraphina to join her, she extends her hand out and says join me, who else got Star Wars vibes? I might have a one track mind.  

It pains me since I enjoy Tilly story lines but this episode was a C+ at best.