The Sea Prince and the Fire Child

The Sea Prince and the Fire Child

The Sea Prince and the Fire Child a.k.a The Legend of Sirius is a 1981 anime movie made by Sanrio. I watched it in the English dubbed. Watching things that are not in their native language can add some issues. I think over the years dubbing has gotten better but I think some of the issues I had with this movie are the result of the dubbing. A note, I’m going with the English names for this review.

Sirius and Malta with the Holy Flame The Sea Prince and the Fire Child Picture image

Sirius and Malta with the Holy Flame

The plot is very much Romeo and Juliet but with the Ocean God and the Fire Goddess being pissed off at each other. The story is Fire and Water used to exist in the same body and were one but also brother and sister. The Wind God, Algorac, grew jealous and told lies about the Ocean God and the Fire Goddess about the other. So pissed were they, that they started a war. Ultimately, Algorac was defeated and lost his power eye and was imprisoned in the Forbidden Zone of the sea. The Ocean God, Oceanus, was given the Algorac’s eye. The Fire Goddess, Hyperia, created the Holy Flame so that the sea will be calm. And thus Water children and Fire children are kept apart.

One day, the Prince of the Sea, Siruis, goes into the Forbidden Zone and meet the Fire child, Princess Malta, who guards the Holy Flame every night. The two fall in love with each other. Sirius tells her that he must leave before dawn as the sun kills children of the water as the water kills children of the fire. They then decide to meet every night at the Holy Flame.

Oceanus gives the Eye of Algorac to Sirius making him the King of the Sea. And some salamander thing wants to be king and causes conflict. Hyperia tells Malta that when the solar ellipse occurs, Malta will be the new Queen of Fire and her duty guarding the Holy Flame will be over thus ending her time with Sirius. Sirius and Malta then learn from a wise sea turtle that during the ellipse a special flowers will bloom for a moment and when they do the blossoms will rises up to a star where Fire and Water live as one. They plan to go there so they can be together.

However a lot of things go down and Malta makes it to the hill but Sirius is too late and the sun kills him. Malta in her grief returns him to the water and dies. Oceanus then retrieves their bodies and lifts them up to the star where they can be  one.

Malta and Piale The Sea Prince and the Fire Child Picture image

Malta and Piale

I left a lot of plot out the synopsis. Sirius and Malta both have loyal friends who die so they can be together. Siruis has Bibble and Malta has Piale. Bibble, I will just say, is annoying but he does a desperate move for Sirius and loses his life so he redeems himself a little.

After Malta and Sirius learn about the hill and the flowers, the Holy Flame goes and Piale urges them to go and Piale become a replacement for the Holy Flame which kills her. While I find both characters annoying, in their deaths they display more depths than our leads.

Sirius and Malta The Sea Prince and the Fire Child Picture image

Sirius and Malta

Sirius and Malta are flat characters. They don’t have much personality. They love each other and that is it. I will say that I do think they truly love each other but it’s kind like “your attractive and forbidden that makes you cute” kind of love. If love is forbidden then that makes the audience care for the couple even if there is no depth. But it’s fine simplicity isn’t bad. Their love is effective for the story.

Fire Goddess Hyperia The Sea Prince and the Fire Child Picture image

Fire Goddess Hyperia

I think the main issue with this movie is that something were not explained very well, or at all. Like the water god and the fire goddess were one but the wind god turned them against each other. How does that work? How did the wind god turn them against each other so easily if they were part of each other? What did they look like when they were one? Are Sirius and Malta cousin? Who is Malta’s father and Sirius’ mother?  Why doesn’t the Forbidden Zone have any guards but Oceanus’ chamber has two? Who guards the Holy Flame by day or does it just need attending at night? Why can’t Malta and Sirius just live in a dark cave?

 Sirius seeing Malta for the first time  The Sea Prince and the Fire Child Picture image

Sirius seeing Malta for the first time

The biggest head starcher is why does Malta look more water-like and Sirius looks more fire-like? I have to assume it was intentional to show that Fire and Water were once one but looking at the characters it’s a little confusing.

It’s still weird that Malta is the only fire child with green hair. At least Bibble has red hair. The character designs are also a little weird, Malta’s in nude but the tail-like things are even stranger.

Sirius and Bibble The Sea Prince and the Fire  Child Picture image

Sirius and Bibble

Despite the bad dubbing, the annoying Bibble, the lack of depth of main characters, slow pacing and the general confusing-ness, I liked The Sea Prince and the Fire Child. It’s a classic tale with some great animation and I admit, I do love forbidden love stories every  once and awhile.

 

 

The Singing Princess

The Singing Princess

The Singing Princess is a movie that was made in 1949. It was the first full length Italian animated movie. Its original name was La Rosa di Baghdad, The Rose of Baghdad. It was Julie Andrews’ first role. When I watch any movie, I try to keep a healthy level of open-mindness. I seldom go into a movie thinking I will hate it and even  if I hate a movie, I can find something I like about it like the costumes or something.

That being said, I loathed The Singing Princess. I saw the English version but I somehow doubt it’s better in Italian.

 

Zelia and Amin The Singing Princess picture image

Zelia and Amin

Because I really dislike this movie I will keep the plot summery minimal. So Zelia is a princess who sings a lot. Her uncle, the ruler, wants her to get married and Jafar wants to marry her.  He makes sure he is the only one in contention for her hand by having the emissary stopped.

The minsters tell him that he must make Zeila love him so Jafar’s evil minion gives him an enchanted ring that will make Zeila love him with powers of Satan. Zeila’s music teacher, or minstrel or something, Amin, overhears this plan and has his magpie, Calina, to steal the ring. Then Amin gets kidnaped by the minion. The minion takes him to a mountain hideout that can only be accessed by flying and he curses Amin so that no one can recognize him. Amin’s magpie tries to save him but is killed. In the fight the minion gets the evil love ring back. The ministers hear that Amin is missing and they go to find him but they get turned into babies by a fountain of youth.

Amin then escapes and sees Zeila wearing the ring and is in love with Jafar and is pretty bummed. Amin is then given a lamp with Genie in it and he defeats the minion, undoes his evil magic, kills Jafar, gets engaged to Zeila and his bird comes back to life. Monotone Yay.

Zelia and Jafar The Singing Princess picture image

Zelia and Jafar

Let me just start with two positives. There  are a few backgrounds that are nice and Julie Andrews has a pretty voice. That’s is it, otherwise it’s awful.

Amin The Singing Princess picture image

Amin

The animation is terrible. Is it fair to call it bad because it old? No, it’s bad animation and lazy. They reverse Amin landing in the river to show him getting out. You don’t jump in reverse to climb out of a river,  jerks.  The colors are all flat and dull and the characters have soul-less dead eyes. The lip sync is awful too and the song are utterly forgettable.

The old dumb ministers The Singing Princess picture image

The old dumb ministers

The characters all suck too in both design and personality. Amin is nice but annoying because he is vapidly nice. The Ministers are useless twits. Zeila just sings, she is does nothing else except look pretty. Calina the magpie is fine but she does little really and her song is stupid. Jafar is like like the Jafar in the Thief of Baghad which is the same as Jafar in Disney’s Aladdin. Does Jafar mean creepy old guy who wants to marry young pretty girl for power in Arabic? Actually, according to Behind the Name it means stream.

So no character is compelling. And the minion named Vork according to the subtitles is just unabashed evil, he says satan 4 times. Though he is loyal to Jafar. Why? Fuck, if I know that would have given the story substance.

Amin "cursed" The Singing Princess picture image

Amin “cursed”

This movie has racial connotations as Amin is transformed into looking black as a I think as curse by the evil minion. Also the bad character just darker in color in general.  I feel am  not equip to discuss it and I don’t think I have the where-with-all to discuss it but it did make me feel very uncomfortable. But it’s worth mentioning.

singing-princess-7

I don’t recommend this movie at all. It’s not bad in a charming way and there is nothing redeemable about it.

There are two reasons to watch this, you like animation history or Julie Andrews. That is it. And just want to  say This film is VILE and unpleasant. I feel terrible for having even watched it.

Really, I would rather want the 1939 version of Gulliver’s Travel or Hunchback Enchanted Tales over this. Can I go back to reviewing the Disney sequels please?

Now that we’re done looking at Disney sequels, we going to start reviewing movies that were not made by Disney and feature a Princess-like character or Non-Disney Princess Movies. Some you have heard of and some you may not be familiar with. I’m going try to the reviews in Chronological order but some might be out order pending if I can find them and stuff. Anyway let’s get start with the 1939 version of Gulliver’s Travels .

Guillver's Travels picture image

Guillver’s Travels

1939 was a great year for movies, we had Gone with the Wind, The Wizard of Oz and even the Charles Laughton’s version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, unfortunately Gulliver’s Travel didn’t get that memo and we get a weird annoying little movie. Get it, because they’re small in Gulliver’s Travel.

Gulliver pulling ships Guillver's Travels picture image

Gulliver pulling ships

The story is a sailor named Gulliver washes up on a beach. The island is inhabited by little people. As he sleeps he is  found by Gabby, a watchman. While that is going on the King of Lilliput is arranging the marriage of his daughter Princess Glory to Prince David of Blefuscu. However the kings get into a fight over the wedding song and declare war, makes sense.

It’s then that Lilliputian go to the beach and tie up Gulliver. Turns out Gulliver is really chill and the Lilliputian love him and decide to use him in their war. Gulliver learns the reason for the war from Glory and David, who are quite in love and offers a comprise that they merge the songs. Then Gulliver tries to stop the war and David gets a little hurt when some spies from Blefuscu try to shot Gulliver but he’s fine and happy ending.

Gabby Guillver's Travels picture image

Gabby

So what is wrong with this movie? Oh, lots of thing. First and foremost the movie has this really weird problem of focusing on annoying characters. Pretty much everyone in this movie is annoying. Gulliver is a little annoying but not so bad. Glory and David aren’t really characters more like walking plot points that sing.

No, it’s all the old little guys. Gabby is most annoying fucker I have ever seen. This guy does not shut up ever. Give me the Gargoyles, fuck it give me the instruments from Enchanted tales version of Hunchback. Gabby is the worst. The kings are also annoying but slightly less than Gabby. The film wouldn’t be as bad if they didn’t dominate the screen. My favorite part was the ending confrontation because Gabby was in a bag through most of it.

Princess Glory and Prince David Guillver's Travels picture image

Princess Glory and Prince David

The movie also likes to shift anyway from Glory and David for the annoying Kings and Gabby. It might a 1930s style and attitude towards animation but it like damn movie give me a break from the goofy characters and let the pretty people just sing their forgettable love songs.

Guillver's Travels picture image

Gulliver

Another issue I had is the animation. The goofy characters are very cartoonish whereas the pretty characters are clearly rotoscope. In Gulliver’s case traced straight from live footage and given no cartoonish tweaks like Glory and David. The different style was REALLY jarring.

Princess Glory and Prince David Guillver's Travels picture image

Princess Glory and Prince David

 

As a Princess goes Glory is there but she doesn’t do much other than sing, pout, sing and have ONE LINE of spoken dialogue. She does stub Gulliver’s feast because she mad about her and David not getting married for a stupid reason. But if the movie did focus a little more of her she could have been interesting. I mean she likable enough because she didn’t annoy me.

King Little and King Bombo Guillver's Travels picture image

King Little and King Bombo

I would say if you like that old style of cartoons, or you want to be well-verse on cartoon history or you just curious about  one of the most annoying waste of cel animation ever You should check  out Gulliver’s Travel but I just didn’t care for this movie it was way too padded with annoying characters and forgettable songs.

I asked in a poll what that next version of Hunchback to be review should be between two very bad cartoon version, Secret of the Hunchback or The Enchanted Tales Version. Both versions are terrible in different ways and very stupid. The Winner however was The Enchanted Tale Version.

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda,Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

Review Series of this starting soon.

Help Me!

Frozen picture image

Frozen

Back in August 2013, I did a post mainly centered on Frozen and its lack of style when compared to the 2-D drawn movies. Frozen hit theaters on Thanksgiving 2013 to a lot of praise. But is that praise deserving or are people just blinded by the snow?

The answer, is yes, it is deserving of praise. Frozen despite its first trailer, which was bad, is a very an entertaining and engaging movie.

 

Anna Frozen picture image

Anna

Let’s just get the style and the look of the movie out of the way. Yes, it looks like Tangled, hell Rapunzel and Flynn had cameos and Anna and Elsa look like Rapunzel. While it is annoying that the 3-D Disney movies have little variation in the female looks and not the men, I can justify this. Perhaps their royal families married and they are cousins or something, I would buy that. But please Disney try some new female looks the same face with freckles are getting old. Maybe go different place in this 3-D world, like Spain that would be fun.

 

Elsa Frozen picture image

Elsa

The characters, are all great especially Elsa. Elsa is no doubt the most complex character Disney has come with. I read that she started at the antagonist  but the song Let it go forced them to rework her character and gave us the sister angle. She is so complex that she great to watch. The other characters are all good. I was surprised by Olaf. After that trailer I wanted to hate him but the voice actor, Josh Gad, made him work in a charming way. I adored Sven. Anna is a bit annoying at time but she didn’t bother me.

 

Anna and Olaf Frozen picture image

Anna,  Olaf and Kristoff

If you read my other Frozen post  you would get the impression that I’m down on 3-D Disney movies in favor of 2-D animation ones. That is a little true, Tangled was not enhanced by being in 3-D it could have been in 2-D easy by not Frozen. The snow and the ice looked beautiful in the 3-D rendering and that was the point. There should  be some reason for the medium. It seemed like Tangled was the experiment and Frozen was the pay-off.

 

 Elsa and Anna frozen picture image

Elsa and Anna

I like how Disney is playing with their own tropes, Elsa telling Anna she can’t marry some she just met, Hans being the bad guy (he’s a bit like Gaston in that way) and true love being between sisters.  It’s really refreshing and playful.  Fun question, because Hans is the villain, does that make the romance song, Love is an open door, the villain song?  Talk about playing with  your tropes!

 

Trolls Frozen picture image

The Trolls

The movie is not without it’s problems, Hans was weak and dumb about political maneuvers, but the reveal was great, the deus ex machina ship at the end, the flow of the plot is clunky in places, it has a little bit of pan-scandinavian confusion  and I found the troll weak. The clunky parts are forgivable and Disney has never been one for 100%  cultural authenticity so that is forgivable too. The design of the Trolls were boring and franky they don’t look look like they belong to this movie. They could have more fun with the designs. The only good thing about them was Olaf’s reaction. It would have been amazing if they had been inspired by the Moomins but then again I love the Moomins, so bias. The trolls are small issue it just wish there was more too them then moss cover rocks.

 

Elsa, Frozen

Elsa

All in all Frozen was a great Disney movie. It had all the facets that make a Disney movie,  memorable songs, characters and animation, and Let it Go had all these things. All the things Disney has been lacking recently . Could Frozen mark the next Golden Age? Only the next few movie will tell and hopefully they will be just as good as Frozen.

Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure picture image

Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp’s Adventure

Stylistically, Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp’s Adventure is not in the same universe as the original Lady and the Tramp. For one thing, the original was from a dog’s perceptive, which it makes it very jarring to see Jim-dear and Darling’s face but given that massive flaw is the movie bad? Hell yeah, it’s bad!

Scamp and Jim-dear, Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure picture image

Scamp and Jim-dear

Plot? Scamp, a.k.a mini-Tramp doesn’t like rules and runs away to the junkyard where there are no rules. The Junkyard dogs are a gang dogs that are led by Buster, who is a former chum of Tramp’s and bitter and then there is Angel, the love interest. But before he can join the gang, Scamp has to complete some tests. Angel tries to convince Scamp to go home to his love ones as she wants a home but Scamp doesn’t listen and gets thrown in the pound but is saved by Angel and Tramp. Scamp learns that family and home are awesome and Angel is made a member of the family.

Scamp and Tramp Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure picture image

Scamp and Tramp

There is the same thing that The Little Mermaid 2 had, the parents lies about their past i.e the first movie and then the child does the same thing that parents did in the first movie. Scamp’s Adventure does feel different as the focus of Lady and the Tramp was both of them and Tramp wasn’t as annoying as Scamp is, which bring me to my next talking point.

Scamp, Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure picture image

Scamp

Scamp is annoying. I couldn’t stand this character. Anytime he’s on screen, I cringed and considering he’s the main character that was a lot. Scott Wolf, who did Scamp’s speaking voice, can not make a decent dog sound for anything. Scamp’s main motivation is that he hates rules and he has a bit of ego for no reason. I hate characters that have zero humility and lack any charm. I will say this, his only saving grace and the only thing that got me through the movie was that he’s a puppy. Puppies are awesome!

Angel and Scamp, Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure

Angel and Scamp

The film also has much goofier, dare I say cartoony tone unlike the original. The original had drama, a believable romance and charm. The cartoon nature makes the fight at the end feel really forced and contrived.

Angel and Scamp in the almost Bella Notte scene, Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure picture image

Angel and Scamp in the almost Bella Notte scene

Then there is the forced romance between Scamp and Angel, they’re puppies. I don’t buy the romance for a second in fact it creeped me out. They even repeated the Bella Notte scene, though made it silly which was need because they are puppies.

For all intended purposes they’re children. They shouldn’t be singing this song . Why couldn’t they just remain friends, it’s not like the romance really went anywhere, so why did you shoehorn it in the movie?

Scamp, Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure picture image

Scamp

Lady and the Tramp 2: Scamps Adventure just fails as follow up to Lady and the Tramp with crappy new characters, poor style, goofy tone and a creepy romance. Good thing this movie is about puppies or it would have been really unbearable.

The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea picture image

The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea

The Little Mermaid is a sequel to the 1989 movie The Little Mermaid, wait that’s not right, The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea is a copy of the 1989 movie The Little Mermaid, wait, I mean it’s a sequel. That’s it, it’s a sequel. It’s not a copy because it has a penguin and walrus in it and not because it’s the same plot as the first one.

Melody with her locket, The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea picture image

Melody with her locket

The plot is pretty much the first movie just with Ariel’s daughter, Melody, but instead of being a shore-o-phile, little Melody is sea-o-phile. Pretty much this love stems from their parents forbidding them from having any contact with said place.

In the Little Mermaid, it made sense, in Return to Sea, Ursula’s crazy Sister (I hate you so much movie), threatens the baby Melody and vanishes, so Ariel builds a wall to keep Melody out of the sea and then lies to her kid about her origins. This is stupid. Melody, who is a little awkward around her peers and feeling betrayed by her parents runs off after finding a keepsake with her name on her it, a gift from Triton.

This where Ursula’s crazy sister, Morgana, comes in and lies to her, turns her into a mermaid and tricks her into get Triton’s Trident. Fight then ensues, Morgana gets turned into a popsicle and yay big dumb wall goes bye bye and everyone is happy.

Ariel and Melody, The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea picture image

Ariel and Melody

Let’s talk about the characters, Ariel is now Triton. Melody is Ariel and Morgana is Ursula. The other characters are sort of there too. Eric is there too, I mean he never had a personality other than being nice so he is the same. It’s very annoying that any time a Disney character has a child they are either the copy of their parents except that they gravitates towards the opposite or they are a lame plot device.

Morgana and Melody, The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea picture image

Morgana and Melody

A little bit more on Morgana. Cut the crap movie, this is Ursula 2.0 and by the film’s own admission, it’s a downgrade. For fuck sake she has the same voice actress. Anyway, Not-Ursula, I mean, Morgana’s mom liked Ursula better because Ursula was better at magic. Her inferiority complex is so bad that when she has all the powers of the sea, she makes people bow to her, not turn them in kelp. Yeah, this villain is dumb. Though to be fair Triton had all the power of sea and he couldn’t find her or kill her when he has clear shot at her at the beginning. I bet if they could have figure out how bring Ursula back from the dead this movie would have it but that would have required at creative thought so crazy sister, who isn’t that crazy.

Ariel and Melody, The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea picture image

Ariel and Melody

Then there is Melody who differs a little bit from Ariel, in that she feels like she doesn’t fit in as an ordinary girl, so she too has a bit of inferiority complex compare to Ariel whom Melody deems as perfect.

First off, Melody is princess she is not ordinary. She should be more concerned that people are pretending to like her. I guess people from where these people live, the 12 year olds are more honest. I don’t even know.

Melody with Tip and Dash, The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea picture image

Melody with Tip and Dash

Speaking of which, where the fuck is this located? I mean these characters go back and forth to Arctic conditions but where the bulk of the characters live seems temperate.

But what REALLY hurts my head are the animals seen in the Arctic, we have Narwhals, Penguins, a Sea Turtle, a Walrus, a Baleen Whale and a Hammerhead shark. Narwhals live in the Arctic, Penguins live Antarctica, Sea Turtles inhabit everywhere but the Arctic, Walruses dwell in the Northern Hemisphere, Baleen Whales migrate so pass and Hammerhead sharks like off every coasts every but not in the cold water of the poles.

FUCK YOU MOVIE. Especially since you have the gall to team up a Walrus and Penguin as Melody side-kicks, Tip and Dash, not sure which one is which and I don’t care. They are annoying to boot. The lack of attention to animals habitat reeks of laziness.

Melody doing the Part of your World flip, The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea picture image

Melody doing the Part of your World flip

Then to make this movie sooooooooo much worse, this movies uses lots of visual and lines from the original movie. Here are three;

– The shot of Melody shooting to the surface after searching for shells is exactly the same as the shot of Ariel’s resurfacing after she was transformed into a human by Ursula.
– When Ariel discovers Melody’s visit to the sea, she says “You deliberately disobeyed me,” the same line King Triton delivers to Ariel when he discovers her visited to the surface.
– Melody does a back flip through the water while singing “For a Moment”, which is the exact same movement Ariel did while singing “Part of that World”.

 

Melody, The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea picture image

Melody

These references make Little Mermaid II: Return to The Sea feel so lazy and with plot being so rehashed that characters even know it, it just makes a million times worse. Was there any effort put in to this? I mean I think one has to work hard to be this lazy. So maybe?

An Extremely Goofy Movie picture image

An Extremely Goofy Movie

An Extremely Goofy Movie is a sequel to the 1995 A Goofy Movie. Both movies deal with a father trying to be apart of his son’s life and the son yearning for independence. But where the Goofy Movie was bright, colorful and somewhat endearing, An Extremely Goofy Movie was shit.

Max and Goofy, An Extremely Goofy Movie

Max and Goofy

The plot is Back to School just with Goof Troop, that’s it. Even if you haven’t seen Back to School, the plot of this movie feels old and done. It differs a bit with extreme sports like skate boarding and there is a sub-plot of Goofy liking 70’s stuff. But the heart of the plot is a rehashing of the first movie where Goofy wants to be involved with Max’s life and Max’s wants his own life. And it gets old within the movie.

Sylvia and Goofy, An Extremely Goofy Movie picture image

Sylvia and Goofy

The animation is all over the place, from really choppy to smooth rotoscoping. During the disco dance scene the animation is really fluid, so much so that it looks rotoscoped. Rotoscoping is an animation technique in which animators trace over footage. The mixture of the fluid rotoscoping and the choppy animation looks terrible. It wouldn’t be so bad if both extremes were not in the same scene.

Pete, Max and Pauly Shore errm Bob , An Extremely Goofy Movie picture image

Pete, Max, and Pauly Shore errm Bob

So if the plot is cliched and ripped off and the animation is inconsistent but how are the characters? Goofy is fine except that he comes off annoying in his attempts to hang out with Max. Max is pretty unlikable and him having same voice as Kovu threw me off, I watch pretty much right after I watched LionKing 2. Max doesn’t really have an interesting personality or things that makes him special.

Pete was more interesting with his limited scene time. That Pauly Shore character was beyong annoying. The other characters hardly register as characters.

Goofy and Bradley Uppercrust the Third , An Extremely Goofy Movie picture image

Goofy and Bradley Uppercrust the Third

Personally, I didn’t enjoy An Extremely Goofy Movie. I found it heartless and annoying. I had really hard time finishing it. I have very little to say on this one. I don’t think it’s the worst of the sequels but it’s far from being any good. It was just extremely meh.

The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride

The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride

The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride is generally considered to be one of the better Disney Sequels. But it is, is it really? Let’s find out.

Nala, Simba, Kovu and Kiara, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture image

Nala, Simba, Kovu and Kiara

The plot is Romeo and Juliet pretty much. After Simba dethrons Scar, Simba banishes Scar’s Loyalists which I guess divided the Pride. The leader of Scar’s Loyalist is Zira, who is the mother of Kovu, the one Scar picked to succeed him. Simba’s daughter, Kiara, and Kovu meet and have a thing. Zira uses this to try to take her revenege on Simba and Rafiki plays matchmaker to help restore the prides.

In the end the two factions come together and yay big happy lion family. Timon and Pumbaa as well as Nala and Zuzu do very little.

Kiara and Kovu, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture image

Kiara and Kovu

The first thing is compared to the other sequels, this one looks like an effort was put in to it. The animation is very nice and the songs are all pretty good. No ear bleeds here. So in the technicals, yes it’s good. But there is a lot of weirdness going on here.

Zira and Kouv, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture image

Zira and Kovu

It feels like a Fan-fiction in the conflict. Where were these lionesses in the first movie? Shrugs. This conflict isn’t in keeping with what happen in The Lion King. I also find it hard to believe that Scar had supporters. I think the real issue and the way Scar got support, in  that the Pride Rock faction wear white eyeliner and the outlanders like black eyeliner. It’s a Make-up war.

Kovu and Kiara as Cubs, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture image

Kovu and Kiara as Cubs

Another thing with these “other” Lions is that they look like Scar. Are the darker hues and black eyeliner a recessive genetic trait? Who is Kovu’s father? This movie makes it very clear it’s not Scar but there are no other males. The logic in this isn’t thought out. And it’s not a small thing, people discuss this massive plot-hole and come up with theories.

Kiara and Kovu, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture and image

Kiara and Kovu

Even the logic of set-up isn’t super great, in fact, it’s really bad, this story feels different from the Lion King. Whereas Simba’s story is one of redemption and loss, this one is a forbidden love story. The forbidden love alway gets people invested. But the forbidden love angle comes at the expense of Simba’s character, who a jerk in this movie.  Kiara and Kovu are interesting and  likable. They also act like Simba and Scar in some ways and are quite different in others. For instance Kiara as cub gets into mischief like Simba but she doesn’t  really want to be Queen whereas Simba couldn’t wait to be King.

Ending Shot of My Lullaby, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture image

Ending Shot of My Lullaby

However the movie as a weird little addiction of making referencing the original movie. Zira at the end of My Lullaby is practically the same shot as the ending of Be Prepare. Kovu’s scar is just like Scar’s, in fact Kovu means Scar . Kovu’s brother, Nuka, dies, Simba’s father dies. A song heavily features a Swahili word. Hakuna Matata is said for no reason other than to be said. I’m sure there are more. I just want to point out the Nuka’s face is burned and he’s ok but a rotten log hits him and he dies.

Kiara's as a debutante, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride  picture image

Kiara’s as a debutante

Another thing annoy about the movie, is the haphazard time jump. It’s like bam, Kovu is an adult. You blink, you miss it. It’s so quick that the Kiara’s pride misses it. One Lioness says “Look how you’ve grown.”  People only say that because when there is a large gap in seeing a child. Like when you haven’t seen a child in like 7 years. Not when you see the kid every day. Did Kiara spend x number or months or years in a cave?

The original movie has a really nice time lapse, why couldn’t this movie steal that? Also Kiara says she and Simba used to stare at the stars together. That would have been a nice scene, too bad we missed it. Hey movie screenwriting 101, show, don’t tell.

Kovu, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride  picture image

Kovu

The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride had a big act to follow but I think despite all the weirdness, it’s alright. It’s not like a fantastic movie but when you consider the Disney sequels, this is one of the better ones even with all the flaws.

Lion King

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World in a way tries to mitigates Pocahontas’ historical love story. But be under no illusion, this thing as historically accurate as the original Pocahontas. But whereas the first film was entertaining and memorable this one is annoying and dull.

Pocahontas and Rolfe,  Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas and Rolfe

So what is the plot? In a nutshell, Pocahontas has to avoid war by going to England and proving that she a civilized lady. The person who helps her the most is John Rolfe. Rofle is a diplomat sent to Virginia by King James. John Smith is presumed dead through most of the movie but helps Pocahontas when she is trouble and they part ways as friends. Smith is totally cool with Rolfe though.

Pocahontas and Rolfe,  Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas and Rolfe

This movie has a little bit of an identity problem with Pocahontas, who is also having a identity problem in the movie. She doesn’t know what she wants. Her going to England is part of that. Pocahontas then has to pretend to be civilized in the British standard because if she doesn’t know the difference between an egg soup and melon soup, her people are as good as dead.

However she learns to be true to herself so movie feels rather pointless other than getting her and Rolfe to hook up and ending things with Smith. But more than that, this movie has her dressing more like a Disney Princess. Hell if I know why Disney doesn’t just sell dolls of her that gown.

Pocahontas and Rolfe,  Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas and Rolfe

Then we have the point of the movie. You see historical Pocahontas and John Smith were not lovers. Pocahontas married John Rolfe. So this movie tries to correct the couple in first movie.

But how are Rolfe and Pocahontas as a couple. Meh, fine, I guess . They are not really super interesting but there is nothing wrong either. Their snarky phase lasts like two minutes so it didn’t get annoying.

John Smith however is annoying. All he does is make puns. Mel Gisbon didn’t reprise his role but they got his younger brother, Donald, which is distracting. But for people who want a prominent actor, they got Billy Zane to play John Rolfe, which is fine, he’s a cool dude.

William Shakespeare, Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

William Shakespeare,

Speaking of quoting other things. This movie uses two famous quotes badly. First, when Pocahontas arrives in London we see William Shakespeare apparently getting the idea for the line “to be or not to be.” Ok, FUCK YOU MOVIE. I know you’re historically challenged but shoehorning Shakespeare here is beyond the pail.

Historically Hamlet was already written, second Shakespeare died two months prior to Pocahontas arriving in England. And then Smith somewhat quotes Mark Twian’s “Reports my death have been grossly exaggerated.” That is just an eye roll but the Shakespeare one is super stupid.

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas

Beside the gross historical inaccuracies what is wrong with movie? It’s really slow paced. It like a sleep-inducing, Ambien, level of energy. The movie livens up a bit when they go to London but the London scenes are annoying as fuck. So what is worse, a movie being annoying or dull? Hard one! But you don’t have to chose because this movie is both.

Rattcliffe,  Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Rattcliffe,

I think what really drags the movie down is Ratcliffe. Ratcliffe has no real motivation. I think he wants to cause a war with the Powhaten so he get gold. Like that is his motivation? That is stupid.

However, all he does in this movie is cause shenanigans. I would say he just a chaotic evil than having some grand scheme but he doesn’t really act like chaotic evil. He acts like he has a grand scheme but we don’t know what it is. Ratcliffe was a dumb villain in the first movie and he is worse in this thing.

Uttamatomakkin,  Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Uttamatomakkin

Are there any good things about this film? Yes actually there is. I really enjoyed the new side characters. Pocahontas’ bodyguard Uttamatomakkin was a delight. I love this guy. He’s a tall stoic guy who is awesome. I loved with him drinking tea, classic. Mrs Jenkins, Rolfe’s house keeper, is a little annoying but her constantly making tea was silly. The blind gag was annoying though. But these two have personality which the main characters don’t. The main sidekicks didn’t annoy me as much as I thought they would  so plus there.

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas

As a sequel goes Pocahontas II: Journey To A New World is a decent continuation, as the concept  doesn’t shit all over the first one but it fails big in execution.

(Fun Fact – I have been to both Jamestown and London, not much of a feat I know)