Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

What is full of flames and is one the best parts of any Disney movie? HELLFIRE!

I would say this scene isn’t like super SCARY but it is unsettling. First you have a rather creepy dude singing about wanting a woman whom he has a lot of hostile towards. Then you have the fire imagery and the specters that are featured at various points especially at the end, love the end.

One of the creepiest parts of Hellfire is where Frollo is running through the hooded faceless ghost that watch him in judgement. It’s very much like the Trial by Franz Kafka.

I could see this song scaring a few younger child and making adult uncomfortable.

Andrew Tiernan as Ephialtes 300 picture image

Andrew Tiernan as Ephialtes

300 is a dick-flick based on graphic novels. As is I need to say what the plot consists of the Spartan going up against the Persians at the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 BC. I’m just going to say this, I fell asleep while watching 300 and I don’t even know what the 2014 sequel was about, more highly stylized war, This Sparta, Tonight We Dine in Hell where we eat your lies which is what we had yesterday, I’m messing up my references.

Anyway, in 300 and the sequel there is a hunchback named Ephialtes of Trachis. Ephialtes means nightmare. He was played by Andrew Tiernan. In the movie he is a deformed Hunchback whose parents ran away from Sparta. Ephialtes hopes to redeem his father by volunteering for the army. However Ephialtes is too weak so Leonidas rejects his and he joins Xerxes’ side and proves inside information.

Ephialtes was based on a real person who was simple traitor.

Moodiness Esmeralda (Maureen O'Hara) 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Moodiness Esmeralda (Maureen O’Hara) 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame

The 1923 version staring Lon Chaney maybe considered the monster movie of the Hunchback pantheon but the 1939 have a far more scary-ish scene.

Ok, it’s not scary but it has a very dark moody tone that make it’s uneasy. As Esmeralda flee from Notre Dame after seeing Quasimodo, he stalks in the dark  narrow streets.  If we had seen Quasimodo before then so we did know what lurked in the night it would have been more scary. Of course that means we would have had the King of Fools scene so yeah that would have happened. But the dark slow-paced unsettling quality  of that makes it feel more scary than anything in the 1923 version. Though Monster Movie doesn’t equal horror but still.

The Hunchback of Morgue is a 1973 Spanish B slasher movie staring Paul Naschy, who had quite a following.

Let me be perfectly clear, I didn’t not watch this movie. I had thought about watching it and making it the principle  movie this month but when I learned what this movie did to  rats I said Noop. So this just an overview look at what I assume is a dumb horror movie.

If you thought this movie had any recemblance to Quasimodo and his pathos you would be mostly wrong. It’s only this in common with Hugo’s story is that a Hunchback named Gotho, who is Of a place and he a loved a pretty girl who was nice to him and dies. Actually maybe that is enough.

Unlike Notre Dame’s Hunchback, Gotho is not very smart and is tricked into killing people for the sake of bring his love back to life. Most of the clips I saw was Gotho killing people, one dude in acid because it’s horror movie.

Considering I have no love for Horror and or slasher movie I don’t feel like I missed anything but watch it   you like cheesy B horror from the 70’s.

Notre Dame, Paris, France - Matted Photo

Notre Dame, Paris, France – Matted Photo

The wedding theme month might be over but now that wedding is over we can talk about hunchback inspired Honeymoons also I just don’t’ really want to end the theme month midweek and it was easy to get a wedding-related live action fairy tale movie.

The obvious pick for a honeymoon that is inspired by Hunchback is Paris, kinda of a no brainer and it is the city of love.

However let’s just say you would rather go somewhere else. You could go to Rheims as Esmeralda and her mom were from there. You could also so to Montreal which is a lovely city and has a lovely Notre Dame that looks very similar to Notre Dame de Paris.

Though you could also go to place that was a French colony, I would recommend  New Caledonia, it’s not only gorgeous but it’s a popular honeymoon destination.

You could ALSO go to Notre Dame, Indiana because of the University.

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys with Patrick Fiori as Phoebus, Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys with Patrick Fiori as Phoebus, Notre Dame de Paris

As we close this theme month let’s think about the closing memory of a wedding, the song for the bride and groom’s first dance and wedding favors.

Starting with the song, Hunchback versions can give you a few options. I wouldn’t recommend dancing to Hellfire UNLESS it has special significance to you as a couple. Topsy Turvy could be fun but again would be weird.

Notre Dame de Paris gives a few options in a few languages. For songs from the show there is Ces Diamants-la which is about marriage. Ma Maison c’est ta Maison since that song is about sharing a life and a home. Or Vivre which is about the power of love and it’s english version Live for the One I love is very nice and you can choice between the Tina Arena version or the Celine Dion version.

Of Course there is also Out of Love from Der Glockner von Notre Dame or maybe In A Place of Miracles from the American version, which I haven’t heard but let’s hope it’s on the cast recording.

Fleur de Lys Wine Stopper picture image

Fleur de Lys Wine Stopper

Then we have the party favors. Of the weddings I have been to recently I don’t really recall any wedding favors, well maybe some Almonds but there wasn’t assigned seating at that wedding so I didn’t take any. However for a Hunchback theme wedding I would just recommend keeping it simple.

You could give out Macarons which just scream France. Maybe you could get them in your wedding colors or the same color tones as Notre Dame. You could also give out cookies that have Notre Dame as design in like icing, they do it with the Eiffel Tower so why not Notre Dame. You could also do bell shaped cookies if you you want it a little easier or gargoyles, that would be cool.

However if you would rather give out some that is not food you could give out Fleur de Lys bottle opener or stoppers, I would doubt they make Notre Dame ones.

Of course if you’re creative and like DIY projects the sky the limit. You could make frosted candle holders with something Notre Dame related on it.

Bruno Pelletier as Gringoire with Helene Segara as Esmeralda in Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Bruno Pelletier as Gringoire with Helene Segara as Esmeralda

Notre Dame de Paris is often praised for being one of the more accurate version of Hunchback and while it is the wedding scene is REALLY rush to the point that it’s hardly there.

Really it’s glossed over. You could say it takes place during La Cour des Miracles, Clopin asks if a lady wants Gringoire and Esmeralda say she’ll take him. Clopin says in the original version something like “He’s yours as a spouse but not as a lover.” End of Wedding, no jug and no wedding merriment unless you count Esmerald and Gringoire dancing as the song wraps up.

In other versions Clopin’s line is more like Esmeralda had to sleep in his bed. Gringoire then sings a line about how she saved in just in time and Esmeralda response by singing that though she saved him she won’t sleep in this bed. In either version these line are a littler superfluous as the next song aging shoot him down though he is all like Baby you can be my muse, really do you need to repeat this two times but forgo much of the wedding scene?

Then they have their wedding night which is a sweet number though Esmeralda still rejects Gringoire for Phoebus. I mean she just changed the subject when he tries and it like I would rather know what the name Phoebus means. She doesn’t mince any words.

There is nothing much from the original book scene expect they get married in the court of miracles as a means to save Gringoire and Esmeralda rejects him afterwards. While it would have been nice to have the jug scene or a longer song with some of the book lines, Notre Dame de Paris did get the core basics of the scene and really that’s all it needed to do.

The Wedding Planner picture image

The Wedding Planner

FINALLY a wedding movie that doesn’t take plan in New York City. I didn’t really mention that but all the other took place in NYC and nothing is wrong with that it’s just variety is the spice of life. The 2001 movie, The Wedding Planner took place in San Francisco like some other wonder movies such as The Room. But does the different setting mean The Wedding Planner is a good, no that is silly however as it stand the movie is meh to ok at best at worst it’s meh to dull and VERY predictable.

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) saving Mary (Jennifer Lopez) The Wedding Planner picture image

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) saving Mary (Jennifer Lopez)

The movie follows Mary (Jennifer Lopez), a wedding planner who is trying to land a big account at her wedding planning firm. One day after she lands said big account she meets a handsome doctor, Steve (Matthew McConaughey) and they share a romantic moment and surprise, surprise he’s the groom. As this is going on Mary is being pursued by this childhood friend of her’s the her father wants her to marry. As is standard with wedding movie the Steve doesn’t get married on his wedding day though his fiancee is okay-ish with it since she was second guess the marriage too. Mary is going to marry the Italian guy but doesn’t and in a nice twist the movie makes you think Steve is going to break up the wedding but he doesn’t but other wise it standard wedding movie fair.

Also Judy “You’re NOT my Supervisor” Greer is in this movie, though she is nice in this movie which is just weird.

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) comforting a bride The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) comforting a bride

One thing that is good about this movie is AT least Mary’s obsession with wedding is channeled into her being a wedding planner unlike in 27 dresses and Bride Wars where the characters are just obsessed with them.

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) and Mary's childhood friend, Maximo (Justin Chambers) The Wedding Planner picture image

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) and Mary’s childhood friend, Maximo (Justin Chambers)

But you know what is interesting especially when compared to the other movies it how the relationship go and who the main characters picks. In this movie Mary has two choices for guys the one she JUST met, Steve the Doctor and the one she has the shared history with, her childhood friend Maximo. In the end she goes with Steve over Maximo. This is kinda similar with 27 Dresses where Jane has the choice between her boss whom she has known for years and a guy she just met, though the one she just meets in the movie shows more interest.

Bride Wars is very different in the Emma knew both guys for a long period of time but since the audience doesn’t know her with Liv’s brother we the audience have to assume that they don’t really know each other that well over her and Fletcher who had been living together and know each for a decade.
Then we have Made of Honor, which had more of Bro tone which made it a hybrid-chick flick. This film makes it very clear that Hannah didn’t know Colin at all despite that they spent a month together going to museums and traveling which you would make you think they talked but the film defames the whole love at first sight which The Wedding Planner glorifies.

Also I have give props to the jilted couples in these movie, they take it all like pros especially in this movie where we have not one but two and they just handle it really well, like unnaturally well.

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Steve (Steve (Matthew McConaughey) doing a snarky tango The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Steve (Steve (Matthew McConaughey) doing a snarky tango

So what about our couple, Mary and Steve? Well to put it nicely, they have all the on-screen chemistry of a refrigerator and sunblock. Seriously, oil and water have better chemistry than these two. I didn’t believe them at all, I mean they have the classic attractive people who smile at each and/or have snarky banter, clearly they must be in love.

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) with Fran ( Bridgette Wilson-Sampras) The Wedding Planner picture image

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) with Fran (Bridgette Wilson-Sampras)

But you know this a wedding movie damn it, only one thing matters, the wedding gown and in this movie we get two. Three if you REALLY want to count the lady at beginning but I won’t. Fran’s dress is REALLY standard, it’s pretty but it very conventional, the veil is pretty. I wish the band a under the bust wasn’t beige. Apparently it had more details than I’m letting on, as it had lace, sequins and button but I didn’t perceive in the movie it just wasted details. And once agian it’s a Vera Wang, I don’t hate Wang’s design but really why are these gown so like text book bridal?

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) in her wedding gown The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) in her wedding gown

Mary’s city hall affair dress is the foil Fran’ s dress. It’s a sixty style short dress with off-shoulder and a pillbox veil hat and 3/4 sleeves with buttons. It’s a sweet dress and it seems like contextually it was Mary’s mother so while it didn’t suit Mary’s style it work within the movie. It’s not really my cup of tea but it’s fine. I guess I could as that from Fran’s too.

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Fran ( Bridgette Wilson-Sampras) The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Fran ( Bridgette Wilson-Sampras)

As far as movies go The Wedding Planner is very predicable fair even for wedding movie standard. It has it’s entertaining moments but the predictability and lack of chemistry makes it a dull this to watch.

It also has some VERY stupid shit in it, like the statue’s ball, that brown M&Ms are better for you than the other colors, and that Mary would risk her life for Gucci shoes. And Justin Chambers’s fake accent is cringe-worthy.

Also that the fact Mary was jilted before her wedding was REALLY shoehorned in for like no real and yet she is STILL a wedding planner. Her being a bit of a control freak goes hand-in-hand with her wedding planning and why she doesn’t have her own love life, it wasn’t needed and didn’t go anywhere.

 

It has been said that the two most talked about things at a wedding are the wedding gown and the cake. Well we did wedding gown so ;et’s talk about cake and I just mean the look of the thing.

As I see it you should keep to being inspired by Notre Dame herself and will save you the two second don’t look up Notre Dame cakes on google it’s just the university.

Notre Dame Wedding cake Design picture image

Notre Dame Wedding cake Design

Typical with wedding cakes that are inspired from architecture is that you get the elements for the tier rather than making an exact replica. So this my very own crappy design of a Notre Dame de Paris, glorious I know.

Tiffany Style stained glass Wedding cake picture image

Tiffany Style stained glass Wedding cake

So could also just take inspiration from the Rose Window. Stained Glass window cakes are not uncommon but I haven’t seen one that is Notre Dame’s rose window but the point is clear.

Esmeralda and Phoebus figurine picture image

Esmeralda and Phoebus figurine

I would also recommend getting little bells as cake topper as wedding bells are cute and they fit the book. Of course if you can find a Disney Esmeralda and Phoebus figurine you could use that too.

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Way back in 2011, I looked at the two attempts that the Disney Verison tried to give Phoebus and Esmeralda a love song (read here). One song was called In a Place of Miracles and the other was called As a there’s a Moon. The second song depicted the wedding scene of Esmeralda and Gringoire only with Phoebus instead of Gringoire and Quasimodo being present.

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Of course Disney added things but they did have the jug and counting the pieces. Unlike the book the jug in this deleted sequence broke into a thousand pieces instead four. Really Clopin just counts to three and goes up to thousand, either he couldn’t count or was just lazy.

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The obvious additions are the moon. There has to be a moon which would have been lovely in the movie, Disney’s Hunchback had amazing lighting so this would just added another facet to the spectrum. Another add-on was Quasimodo joining Phoebus and Esmeralda’s hands. This was to give Quasimodo something to do since the directors REALLY didn’t want to take focus off of Quasimodo for any length of time even for five minutes. In hindsight Esmeralda and Clopin are the more popular so it would have been fine and it would have given the audience a chance to get behind Phoebus and Esmeralda’s love.

Esmeralda As Long as there's Moon Demo Reel Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Esmeralda As Long as there’s Moon Demo Reel Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Also Esmeralda would have gotten another costume change so you know I’m all for that.

The issue is that since it was delated we don’t how the flow would have work. To us now it looks like they just would had a love song right after Phoebus and Quasimodo told them about Frollo coming but they would have fixed that for the pacing. I do think the movie could have used a love song and it’s again hard to judge this song as demo. It seems meh to me but it’s like one person singing with storyboard so it just a rough demo.

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The sequence is a lot more romantic than the book but it got the idea of it pretty well it’s shame that the director were so focus on Quasimodo that it rob us getting a love song but we still have to suffer through a guy like you.