Let’s kick off this month of wedding stuff by discussing the only actually wedding in the Hunchback of Notre Dame, the wedding of Esmeralda and Gringoire.

So what goes down? I’m sure most of you know that Gringoire wanders into the Court of Miracles and as thieves and beggars are  very rule based, the tell Gringoire that he can either join them via a entrance exam or he will die. Gringoire opts to take the test of stealing from a dummy covered in bells and he must do the theft on one foot, I don’t think I need to say that he failed miserably.

However there is a secret third option, one of the ladies can claim him as her husband. Most of the ladies tease him but Esmeralda takes him as her husband to save his life.

Unlike most weddings with cakes, gowns, flowers, vows and boring speeches, the Court of Miracles weddings are delightfully short and include a easy divorce out. All they do is break a pitcher and the number of shards it breaks into is the length of the marriage. Gringoire and Esmeralda are slated for a four year affair. In that time Gringoire is suppose to care for Esmeralda.

Of course Esmeralda makes it clear that the marriage is in name only (no sexy times) but Gringoire is  suppose to take care of Djali and help with money matters. Pretty much except for the initial sting of learning she married him just save him and that there will be no sexy times, Gringoire takes it all in strides, I mean he is getting food and shelter and isn’t that what marriage is all about?

This scene also sets up some movies to have  a romance between Esmeralda and Gringoire and of all the romance options Esmeralda gets in the movie adaptations, the ones with Gringoire are more natural and sweet than her with Phoebus or Quasimodo. There has yet to be a version where she and Frollo end up together, that would be a very messed-up version.