I have 25 ideas for ways in which Disney could eject some Hunchback references into their theme parks.

A lot of these ideas would be easy or low cost add-ins (I think) but some would be more costly. I’m not asking for a Hunchback dark ride where you see movie scenes as you ride around on a ride vehicle shaped like a gargoyle, though that would be cool.

But first a few notes;
-These ideas could be in any of Disney’s Theme Parks Worldwide but I was mostly inspired by Walt Disney World especially for some Epcot specific ideas but really these could go anywhere.
-A lot of these ideas follow Disney’s marketing trend for Hunchback so lots of Clopin related stuff.
-Some of these ideas are half-baked, meaning I didn’t give them much thought.

This somewhat organized by least likely to maybe Disney would consider it, maybe.

Least Likely Disney Hunchback Theming Ideas

There used to be an attraction at Tokyo Disneyland called Cinderella Castle Mystery Tour. I read about in college. It’s not opened anymore though.
Basically it was a guided haunted house walking tour with Disney villains. The villains were defeated by a child who got a metal at the end of the tour. It was also the only attraction to feature the Horned King from The Black Caldron.
So my idea is make it a dark ride with Disney villain tableaus including Hellfire, which would be the best scene. Maybe at the end of the ride the youngest person in the ride vehicle or a cast member could just pick pick the person, defeats the villains with their “pure heart.” And the gift shop attached to the ride could sell the metals or little pins showing your victory over the darkness.

Animal Kingdoms has Goats. Name a Goat after Djali. Or They could change the name that area to Djali’s Sanctuary, works on two levels. Or change the name of the train that takes you to the goats to the Djali Express.

A Walkthrough of the Court of Miracles. Like maybe it’s little shops.

A Clopin cast-member could have a cart and perform puppet shows of Disney movies. Clopin Style!

Clopin could lead a Parade.

Poker with Pigeons. A game where kids could bet bird seeds and win something small.

Hunchback themed bathrooms. Could go with gothic architecture or a topsy turvy theme but Disney loves its theme bathrooms.

Add one of the Hunchback Gargoyles to the Bridge near Be Our Guest Restaurant amongst the other gargoyles that are lamps. Could be a hidden easter egg. Or they could put a gargoyle statue at the entry of the France pavilion.

A Toy Making experience like they have at Pandora. Guests could get a custom made wood craving of themselves in the style of Quasimodo’s wood cravings. It would be 3D printed.

The Flying Buttress ride. It would be a ride like the Dumbo ride but with Flying Buttress.

Slightly More Likely Disney Hunchback Theming Ideas with Food

A Clopin themed Cart that serves Dole Whip. Maybe it’s a swirl with Raspberry, Mango and Lime because Topsy Turvy. Or Spiked Dole Whip because Hunchback is a grown up movie.

Interactive Bells at the France Pavilion that kids can ring. They have drums that kids can bang on why not bells that they can ring.

Or a Bell show with performers. Maybe they are dress similarly to Quasimodo.

A projection of Quasimodo at the France pavilion. Like on the side of a building.

An Indian French fusion restaurant with a Festival of Fool theme. Maybe it has a King of Fools contest every night and someone is crowned King of Fools.
Please note, I won’t go in too deeply into Romani food culture. I did a little research and found that it was similar to Hungarian food but I’m sure if it differs with Romani country to country. So just point a pin in that and we’ll come back to that in a bit.

Embed Hunchback stuff in the ground. Disney does this a lot so why not Hunchback stuff? Quasimodo’s shadow, the woven map, Esmeralda’s earring or one of Frollo’s rings, Djali’s hoof prints, or Achilles hooves or Snowball’s hooves.

One of the Paintings around the France Pavilion could feature Esmeralda and Djali in like an Art Nouveau style to keep to the theme of the pavilion.

L’Halles at the France Pavilion could offer a Quasimodo Croissant because he is shaped like one.

L’Artisan Des Glace at the France Pavilion could have a Hunchback inspired flavor.

Pineapple Upside Down Cake with Dole Whip could be called Topsy Turvy Cake with Dole Whip. Maybe offered a different location then where it is currently offered because it’s a Hawaiian theme place. Or they could change it slightly to a different fruit. But Upside down cake sounds like a prime contender for the Topsy Turvy name.

A Purple Esmeralda inspired confection. Make it Instagram-able for the Purple Wall.

Have a Speakers at the France Pavilion that plays Bells of Notre Dame or a recording of the actual Bells of Notre Dame.

Since I mention Hungarian Food being similar to Romani food, and if I’m wrong I apologized, why not have a Romani/Hungarian inspired Poutine. Now I have made this before and it is delicious. Basically instead of gravy you cover the fries with Paprika Sauce and cheese curds. You can call it Clopin Poutine. It would be amazing, trust me. Paprika Sauce amazing!

Esmeralda inspired Mini Ears. It would have purple sequins as the ears with a teal bow with gold strips and maybe a pink ribbon draping off like her hairband.

A Character dining experience with Esmeralda, Meg and Jane. Or a Villain dining experience. I bet people would love that.

So those are my ideas. Imagine the ideas people who actually work at Disney would have because they know the parks and have experience. I just watched a lot of videos and know Hunchback fairly well. So while I don’t think any of these ideas will ever happen I had fun making this list.
Maybe I should do this with other lesser represented Disney movies.

Michelle Newell as Esmeralda & Warren Clarke The Hunchback of Notre Dame 1977 picture image

Michelle Newell as Esmeralda & Warren Clarke as Quasimodo

Like the 1986 burbank version the 1977 follows the plot quite faithfully. Aside from the Sister Gudule plotline this version is the most accurate to the book.   There is no vault scene of Quasimodo lying down beside Esmeralda’s body instead there is a weird ending where Phoebus and Fleur de Lys’ wedding processional dances around Frollo’s fallen corpse with Esmeralda’s body hanging in the background. And Gringoire just laughs it off saying the he survive to tell the tale. BAD ENDING!

Michelle Newell as Esmeralda & Kenneth Haigh as Frollo The Hunchback of Notre Dame 1977 picture image

Michelle Newell as Esmeralda & Kenneth Haigh as Frollo The Hunchback of Notre Dame 1977

But the ending is a symptom of a larger issue with the plot, sure it’s got in a lot of scenes from the book, like the scene where Frollo and Gringoire spirits Esmeralda out of Notre on the boat and Gringoire leaves her with Frollo, that scene is never don except slightly in the Jetlag version but to point the movie doesn’t elevate the scenes. The actors say their lines MAYBE  emote a little and that is it.   It’s like a very mechanical boring version of the book.

Kenneth Haigh as Frollo 1977 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Kenneth Haigh as Frollo 1977 Hunchback of Notre Dame

The adherence to the book is it’s only selling point. There is nothing much this version has to offer but the plot. Aside from that there is no artistic vision, no mood, and no heart.  

Finally, it can drink in the states!

After 21 years Hellfire is still awesome.

Clopin with Puppet Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Clopin with Puppet Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

On March 15th 2017 Billboard ranked every song from the Disney Renaissance (1989-199) and it was done by various staffers. Now everyone is entitled to their opinions but their opinions are wrong. You can read it here if you want.

For Hunchback the ranking are as follows;
42: God Help the Outcasts
41: Heaven’s Light/Hellfire
38: A Guy like You
37: The Bells of Notre Dame
34: Topsy Turvy
30: Out There

Clopin, Phoebus and Quasimodo Court of Miracles Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Clopin, Phoebus and Quasimodo Court of Miracles Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Court of Miracles didn’t count as the article called it “Super Slight” but Trashin the Camp ranked #26 even though it’s just scat, just saying. It’s important to know that the list was out of 45 songs, Hunchback didn’t get even in the upper half. Honestly it doesn’t really matter that as it seem the “staffers” have a very weird sense of what a “Disney” song should be.

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

First off they said God Help the Outcasts was “sombre and flat.” Heaven’s Light/Hellfire was “it’s one least memorable tunes” (Are they saying Hellfire is not memorable??? The Heck you say). The really didn’t say anything bad about A Guy like you. They said The Bells of Notre Dame “lacks a certain je ne sais quoi.” They called Topsy Turvy the “most Disney-like of the entire Hunchback film and soundtrack.” And Out There again nothing bad, though Out THere is pretty much Part of your World 2.0 and that song ranked #9 so it’s really not surprising that these people would like it more that the other Hunchback songs.

Shock the Priest Topsy Turvy Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Shock the Priest Topsy Turvy Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Just looking at the way they ranked the Hunchback song I’m not sure these people understand anything about anything. They seem to like either bright happy song, love songs or the I want type song, you know typically Disney stuff. Oddly the highest ranking Villain song was Be Prepared at #15.

Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

With that in mind yes, their ranking make a weird sense but how does one say that Hellfire even if it’s paired with Heaven’s Light, is a worse song than A Guy like you? Sure, if you like bright happy things, but Hellfire is one of great villain songs and Heaven’s Light is the perfect foil. My guess is that these “staffers” collectively didn’t like Hunchback as much as other movies as Hunchback is one more a-typical Disney movies.

Clopin with Puppet Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Clopin with Puppet Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

They can rank the songs however they want, with bias or not but but I take their credibility as critics into question with how they dismissed Hunchback songs as being “unDisney” because they are not as bright and colorful as the “popular” songs.

Prove these critics wrong and get the soundtrack

and maybe if Hunchback products make money, Disney will see the merits of a Live-action movie.

There has actually been some decent amount of Hunchback related stuff that popped up in 2015 opposed the last few years where there has been much other that Josh Brolin popping up to say something about his movie that will never be I’m guessing.

So 2015 started off with the sad news. On October 24th 2015 Maureen O’Hara, who played Esmeralda in the 1939 movie version of Hunchback passed away at the age of  95.  The 1939 version is considered to be one of the best Hunchback version. It was also O’Hara’s American debut.

Musicals next; The Notre Dame de Paris 10 year anniversary tour in Korea which was French language. Notre Dame de Paris in Asian isn’t anything new but this was the first time in a while for a French Production to be presented.  There also a new Italian cast the uses member from the original cast. But that is set not next year, but this cast has been catching my attention and just recently did that cast come out so yeah, I’m including it here.

There was also the Disney Hunchback musical at the Paper mills Play house in March and April. Since it didn’t go to broadway there will more local productions so keep an ear out if one should be performed near you and it still might go to broadway someday, never say die. Also the cast recording of the Paper Mills and Lo Jolla casting is coming out next month so preorder here.

Also in April, Josh Groban did a cover of Le Temps de Cathedral on his Stages album. I wouldn’t say it did much to help Notre Dame de Paris’ popularity but people who didn’t know might have heard it so that is great.

Let’s what else. Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling named their baby Esmeralda which they directly sited Hunchback as being a favorite novel of their. First is a little funning because I a while ago I was looking up Celebrities and their favorite books and Hunchback never came up. Les Mis did. I sort of abandoned the idea due to how pretentious and/or how self severing their picks were, so I’m glad some actors liked the book.

But the BIGGEST news of the year is that there are 2, not one but 2 Hunchback movies in the works. One has been in the works for a while and is a independent movie from some actor who was in the second Sex and the City movie, Max Ryan. This version I don’t even know what to say. Everyt ime I try to make sense of it I’m reminded that there is a giant and a figment in the cast list and The Mask directors is going to direct so my expectations for this movie are low to hoping ti hilariously bad, but we’ll see maybe we’ll be surprised and it will be a really good version. Strangers things happen.

The second movie seems to be an off-shot of an idea for Once Upon a Time from 2013, a movie for Esmeralda’s POV, which I’m excited about. There hasn’t been a Esmeralda centric Hunchback version since the 1950’s and that was mostly a French movie. For Hollywood there has been a Hunchback version focusing on Esmeralda since Theda Bara’s 1917 movie The Darling of Paris. Not much is known about this movie other than it’s being spearhead by Peter Cherin and will focus on Esmeralda. I hope this movie is good and happens, you never know with movies.

Let’s hope 2016 has more Hunchback stuff!

To get ready for Black Friday/Cyber Monday and Christmas the Hunchback characters are doing a secret santa.

Quasimodo picked Frollo and got him Opteka 650-2600mm High Definition Telephoto Zoom Lens for Nikon Digital SLR Cameras for Stalking Esmeralda better.

Esmeralda picked Clopin and got him Southpole Men’s Marled Full-Zip Hoodie Sweatshirt, so her can be fashionable and warm but it’s a shallow girt.

Frollo picked Fleur-de-Lys and got her a Selfie Stick, He doesn’t know her at all.

Ben Sherman Novelty Socks picture image

Ben Sherman Novelty Socks

Phoebus picked Quasimodo and got him Ben Sherman Novelty Socks, socks, not thoughtful at all.

Gringoire picked Master Florain and got him Plant Theatre Herb Garden Seed Kit , Gringoire thought he was being clever but I can’t see the deaf judge caring for it.

Clopin picked Sister Gudule and got her Zalman King’s Red Shoe Diaries Movie #15: Forbidden Zone, Clopin is being wicked with this one.

 

Outdoor Gargoyle statue picture image

Outdoor Gargoyle statue

Fleur-de-Lys picked Notre Dame de paris and got her Design Toscano Florentine Gargoyle Statue, Notre Dame could use a new cute statue.

Jean picked Djali and got her Caution Attack Goat Sign, gag gift

Sister Gudule picked Phoebus and got him 1 X Snowman Mug w/ Shovel Spoon – Christmas Decor, she know he liked a good drink but it’s super misguided

Djali picked Esmeralda and got her Quiddler, Djali likes words.

Notre Dame de Paris picked Gringoire and got him Une Nuit De Noel a Notre Dame De Paris CD, who wouldn’t ant a new Christmas CD

Master Florain picked Jean and got him Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, It’s useful but Jean won’t use it.

Few things in Hunchback are a terrifying as bad version of Hunchback. There are actually many awful version of this story either though laziness of acting, writing production values, editing and directing but there is one version that takes it such a degree that it truly the stuff of Nightmares.

I of course mean the Dingo version. Doesn’t Djali look evil?

Esmeralda and Djali with Gringoire, Dingo Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda and Djali with Gringoire, Dingo Hunchback of Notre Dame

I mean just look at that, that is crap never known to the world before. One has to work to be so lazy, so bad. It someways it like a weird surreal art piece, some commentary of the human condition to wonder at the odd and sincere. To reveal in the discourse of humanity. It is true terror, or just lazy pile of shit.

We’ll get more in more into the Dingo version later, I’m too scared to review it after a month of scary stuff.

So for the next version let’s look at another infamously bad version of Hunchback.

Gargoyles sing to Quasimodo,The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Gargoyles sing to Quasimodo, The Secret of the Hunchback

More singing Gargoyles? This going to give me nightmare too.

This post has been like a roller coaster. At first I was going to write on a different idea which I still going to do on why Hollywood should make a new Hunchback movie but that idea lead to this question, If the Best Animated Movie Award was existed in 1996, would Hunchback to have been a contended?

Frollo and Quasimodo Hunchback of Notre Dame Disney picture image

Frollo and Qausimodo Hunchback of Notre Dame Disney

The Best Animated Movie Award for the Academy Awards was introduced in 2001 and that year the winner was Shrek. Since then you’d think a powerhouse like Disney would win a fair number of times and technically since they own Pixar they have but Pixar is the darling of the Oscars and not Disney so much. In fact Disney has won two times and been nominated for eight whereas Dreamworks has two wins but eleven nominations. Pixar has seven wins and nine nominations, Cars and and Monster’s INC didn’t get the award.

Getting back to the question would Disney’s Hunchback has won the award? Well before we can even answer that question we need to know what was the competition that year. In 1996 the animated movies that came out in the United States were All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 (I’m surprised this got a theatrical release), Space Jam, Beavis and But-head Do America, and James and the Giant Peach. I doubt All Dogs Go to Heaven, Space Jam and Beavis and Butt-head Do America would have won so that just leaves James and the Giant Peach.

James and the Giant Peach picture image

James and the Giant Peach

James and the Giant Peach has some weird live-action chunks and weird songs but the animation is imaginative and it met with critical praise when it was released. Hunchback was more mixed with critics. James and the Giant Peach also won Best Animated Featured Film at the Annecy International Animated Film Festival. Annecy is a French based Film Festival which Hunchback of Notre Dame was not nominated BUT no Disney movie has been nominated for an Annecy. Hunchback of Notre Dame did get a lot of Award nominations, including Best Music at the Academy and several Annies. It did win a few award including a Golden Globe for its music and Best casting at the Artois Awards and Best Motion Picture for the Satellite Awards. It was also nominated for a Razzie for Worst written Film grossing over $100 Million, talk about mixed bag.

But what really comes down to is the voters of the Academy, which is made up most of people in the Film business and mostly actors who for the most part don’t know anything about animation. In fact according to this http://www.cartoonbrew.com/award-season-focus/proof-that-oscar-voters-are-clueless-about-animation-109456.html the voters don’t even watch all the movies up for the award and two didn’t even watch any. I’m glad they take their prestigious jobs seriously.

Quaismodo Bells of Notre dame reprise Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quaismodo Bells of Notre dame reprise Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Basically it doesn’t come down to a well crafted story as told with animation, it’s what ever movie a given person liked more, though some voters take in to account the entirely of the movie. I think that in 1996 the clout of Disney would have made Hunchback of Notre Dame won over James and Peach because name recognition means a lot. Even though James and the Giant Peach is under Disney, it’s not Disney’s James and the Giant Peach.

At first I though this would be an easy question to answer but them looking into the question I thought maybe it would be harder and then that voter website and it because easy again. Talk about a roller coaster.

What do you think? Do you think Hunchback could have won Best Animated Movie if the ward existed in 1996?

Disclaimer, I might hate the Academy Awards.

Quasimodo doll wants to go new jersey hunchback notre dame picture image

Help The Hunchblog go see the Musical

So in honor of the blog’s 100oth, I have a few little announcements to make.

Announcement #1,

Since I don’t live super very away from New Jersey, I would like to try and go to the Hunchback Musical at the Papermills Playhouse in New Jersey. However since I’m primarily a blogger by trade I don’t have the funds to go on my own so I’m trying to crowd fund it.

If you would like to be a wonderful person and help me and the blog out to go to this musical, here is the link to donate, http://www.gofundme.com/h0h4z4     .

Anything you can give towards this is very much appreciated.

Announcement #2,

November is Nation Novel Writing Month (http://nanowrimo.org) and I’m trying participating. I’m writing a novel based on what I know which is me and blogging and ripping part Disney movies. Basically I’m parodying myself, the blog and online reviewing and I’m having such fun doing it.

I’m hoping publish it at some point. Also speaking of Hunchblog related book I’m planning on writing one using blog posts from the 1939 version and greatly expanding on it in a much more in-depth way.

Announcement #3,

This isn’t quite a formal announcement but I’m considering signing up for Patreon for the blog which offer special content to patrons but I’m a little apprehend about it.   It takes a lot for to sign up for things like that. Gofundme took some effort to go for. I

Thank you guys so much for your support and interested in the blog, I really appreciate it. And I hope for another 1000 posts and thehunchblog’s birthday is in another month so that is exciting.

 

This is Hunchback of Notre Dame by The Frantic Elevators. It’s not my type song at all.  But it’s interesting and there is no denying that it’s about the  Hunchback.