Reem Kherici as Juliette and Nicolas Duvauchelle as Mathias Wedding Unplanned picture image

Reem Kherici as Juliette and Nicolas Duvauchelle as Mathias

Basically this  is a French Wedding Planner. You know how it goes, the wedding planner falls in love with the groom but instead of a meet-cute where they have some sexual tension here they have a one-night stand at a costume party. Sure, whatever. Also to add more conflict in the mix the wedding planner/mistress (movie’s word), Juliette and the bride-to-be, Alexia were childhood class mates and by that  I mean Alexia was a pretty rich blond mean child and Juliette was fat and poor.

So there is the dynamic of the characters, unfortunately it’s all presented as very shallow and artificial, like this movie needed another round of rewrites and editing to the screenplay. Aside from Juliette’s connection to her childhood/inner child and her alcoholic mother nothing about that seems to impact her life or personality, she seems pretty together and confident.

There is nothing to really suggest that Mathias, the groom,  is at all unhappy being with Alexia except that he has been with her for five years but didn’t think of marriage until Alexia found Juliette’s professional card in his pocket and assumed they were getting married. Alexia is a sort of bitchy and shallow but not deserving  of Mathias’ wishy-washy/lukewarm attitude. Really it’s just bad character development. 

For instance the movie tells us that Mathias doesn’t have a family, ok fine but what happened to them? Are the dead or was there a falling out? I he going to reveal the truth to Juliette there by strengthening their connection? Nope, it’s a taboo subject never brought up again. He might has well have a family if it’s not important to the plot otherwise why bring it up? The movie isn’t at all that interested in flushing out the characters and their interactions beyond smiling,  drinking and the wacky antics they get into.

Which bring us to the humor. Now French humor is a little different, they like misfortune to happen to other people, other people’s pain is funny and BOY does this movie take that and run with it, with train and throws it over a cliff and then breaks its teeth just for good measure. And here are some that occur in the move; Mathias is forced into kissing a man to keep his trite with Juliette a secret, a Bride’s gets her mouth smashed during her wedding after a cross falls on her, Alexia is hit in the face with a tennis ball and breaks for front teeth, Alexia’s father’s prized wine collection is  broken by Juliette as she tries to hide after her Mathias are nearly caught having sex again in Alexia’s father’s house, and many more with one being so awful I nearly stopped the movie. This is a style humor that I don’t find very funny but maybe if the characters were better it could have worked. Like I didn’t care that Alexia got her teeth smashed in. There was no feeling it, it was supposed to be funny but that joke land on it’s face much like that random bride whose face was literally smashed which was also not funny.

While I did finish this movie it wasn’t good  or  enjoyable. Perhaps if you want just a  mindless movie to fill the void for a little over and hour then if’s a fine but you could want anything else and get the result  with your time.

Site Note  While I ‘m happy I at least did the four reviews I set out to do this month but it came down to the wire. While like the idea of reviewing random movie streaming on Netflix I don’t think I will continue. I had mentioned reviewing French Musical in during the month of August, as I have wanted to do that for a while, the truth is my August is looking busy so I’m going to hold off on that for now. In the meantime I want to  at least try to do more Hunchback content even if it’s stupid, like 100 layers of Esmeralda. So no more random movie reviews for a while.  Not sure how frequently I will post but I will try and post something once a week at the very least and something related to Hunchback.

Karla Souza as Maru and Ricardo Abarca as Renato ¿Qué Culpa Tiene el Niño? picture image

Karla Souza as Maru and Ricardo Abarca as Renato ¿Qué Culpa Tiene el Niño?

I’m going to blame the fanfic I read right before I picked a movie to watch for my choice on this one. That’s right, I read something about a one night turing into something more meaningful and then I watch a 2016 Mexican movie about a one night stand turning into something meaning. Also I wanted something that was a different and not Asian/Indian Media.

And like a one night stand turning into something meaningful this movie starts as some nothing and the gets a little more complex at end when there a twist that actually makes it rather sweet.

As you might have guessed this movie is about a young professional upper class woman, Maru,  who has a drunken one night stand and gets pregnant. The guy is a very young unemployed loser named Renato and he is all in on being a dad and marriage and love. Maru doesn’t want to get married to him but does due to family and societal  pressures but in they end up in love and have  their baby.

I haven’t’ seen many examples of Mexican movies so I can’t really rate the style of acting but it seemed fine. Maybe coming off a Bollywood where sometimes in the more mainstream movies, they tend to over-act without much subtlety, so in they were over-the-top in this movie it didn’t come across, aside from the weird musical moments but even then it didn’t seem like too much. Here the characters seemed like slight over-exaggerations of real people. They were fairly shades of gray, as in the characters had their ups and down. Were they amazing characters? No. Were they serviceable for the tone and story being told? Yes.

Was this a great movie? No. Was this a serviceable movie? Yes, I mean I finished it, that seems to be an accomplishment  for me right now.      

Shah Rukh Khan as Raj and Kajol as Meera, Dilwale (2015) picture image

Shah Rukh Khan as Raj and Kajol as Meera, Dilwale (2015)

Sorry, this posting series has gotten away from me, much like reviewing Hunchback versions. Anyway let’s see if I can somehow watch/review two more movies before then end of July. On a better note I did at least decide on the next Hunchback version.

Anyway I hadn’t planned on reviewing another Bollywood movie since I just did one but I watched this with a friend of mine so  I figured why not?

Before we get to this movie, a brief history. As a semi-casual Bollywood fan I enjoy the pairing of Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol. Prior to Dilwale I had seen every movie they have been toegther, which is not major accomplishment. But as a person who enjoys this pairing I was very excited to hear that in 2015 they were going to be a new movie and I had wanted to see it in theaters but then another movie came out around the same time and distracted me. That movie was Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Then I heard Dilwale sucked and I forgot all about it. That is until I saw it streaming on Netflix and I knew I should watch it. So was everyone right? Was this the worst movie with this actor pairing?

The answer is yes. I didn’t finish the movie, I’m such a pro at the whole reviewing movie thing. (I know am not.)

I was so confused by this movie. Most of the characters  are terrible. Shah Rukh Khan plays Raj, I think he repairs cars or something but he used to be a gangster. He has an idiot brother who likes a boring yet conventionally attractive girl. Raj is okay with the pairing until he meets the girl’s  sister, Meera. Meera and Raj had an affair 15 years ago in Bulgaria but she was in a rival gang and both their father killed each other or something. And then she shot him.

Was there anything good about the movie? I mean maybe we should just focus on the positives.

Oddly I liked that the film said they were in Bulgaria, as random as that sounds. But there is a movie called Hum Dil de Chuke Sanam, which a way better movie, but in that movie they tried, and failed, to convince the viewer that Hungry was Italy. It was clearly Budapest they went to and not Rome. So I guess kudos Dilwale for saying you filmed in a place and putting that in the story?

What else? The Shah Rukh/Kajol part of the story was better than anything with the younger couple. That should have been the movie. Their chemistry wasn’t as good as any of their other movies.

Some of the lighting was okay. It was OVERDONE in cluttering the frame but it was a nice distraction in parts.

Everything was bad. This movie was bad. If you like the pairing of these actors and want to be a completionist sure you could watch it  but I would recommend the other movies they have been in. Sometimes it’s not worth being a completionist.         

Kyun! Ho Gaya Na picture image

Kyun! Ho Gaya Na

Instead of doing the roulette thing, I decided to take destiny in my own hands and pick for myself. I decided to go for  a Bollywood movie since it had been a while since I last watch one. So I picked Kyun! Ho Gaya Na because it was a period of Bollywood I used to watch when I first started watching  Bollywood movies (mid 2000s) and I do tend to go for the romantic saccharine movies.

So how was this movie? Very boring. I turned it off after and hour because I just couldn’t muster any attention for this movie. I even paused it to try my hand at water-marbling my nails. Which didn’t go well either but I had more fun failing at nail art than watching this movie.

The center conflict of the film isn’t bad, basically the two leads have opposing attitudes on love. The guy, Arjun, wants his parents to choice for him because love is complicated and Diya rather fall in love. It’s a take on tradition vs modernity theme that you see in a lot of Bollywood movies but the stakes are not high so it’s not compelling.

Honestly that isn’t even the issue. A small love-story that is either chill or silly is fine but this is neither. It doesn’t really know what it’s doing with a tone. The acting is also weird combo of hammy and wooden. Aishwariya Rai is only as good as her director.  There isn’t much in the way of chemistry between the leads either which is detrimental in a romance movie.

The look of this movie is off. Some Bollywood movie have a weird super contrast look which makes color pop but darker tones are really dark. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai has that look however that movie know to use a lot of color, Kyun! Ho Gaya Na doesn’t so it look weirdly washed out.

Then there is  the editing and dancing, both of which are  very jarring. To be fair I did stop watching so maybe the songs in the second act were better and the editing was tone down. But not the first three songs.

I would pass on this movie. It’s just all around dull.

I failed this quest line. Shame on me. Or did I beat it because I refuse to have it waste my time?  Those are the questions! That is the true debate! I did really fail at water-marbling though but I suck at nail art in general much like reviewing movies on the internet.    

Meliodas and Hawk, The Seven Deadly Sins picture image

Meliodas and Hawk, The Seven Deadly Sins

Hahahahahahaaa. So the fact that I randomly picked this anime is funny since this anime used to be one my favorites. I still really enjoy this show but I just been on a downward swing with anime as I don’t watch it with some amount of frequency or enthusiasm as I used to. I do have plans to watch the actual second season of this show when it comes to Netflix. I can wait since I have read a lot manga though at present I’m behind.

I first watched this show back in November 2015. I didn’t watch it because I was interested in it though, shounen shows have never been my thing. The only one I ever really watch before this one was Bleach  WAY long ago. I also did watch Attack on Titan but that show drove me crazy. I did watch and enjoy Yu Yu Hakusho though. Anyway I actually watched  Seven Deadly Sins  because I was to making a list of the best Fantasy anime and this was on my radar. I had very low expectations of it but the first episode was a lot of fun and I binged watch the season after that and have rewatched it a few times since. And I have made three AMVs to this show which is actually harder than you would thing.

All that being said I’m not sure how to review this first episode since it’s just one episode and two unlike that Mermaid show and even the Sinbad show, I have a really good working knowledge of what happens in it.

Let’s just start with some world-building. This is clearly a European Medieval world with knights and magic and talking pigs. Nominally it’s going for Arthurian legend vibe but ONLY with names.

Exposition is done through dialogue of extras and the two leads; Meliodas and Elizabeth. We mosty learn that The Seven Deadly Sins, a group of powerful wanted criminals are still at large after ten years and Holy Knights. Elizabeth explains that she looking for the Seven Deadly Sins because the Holy Knights of her kingdom have taken over and she has concluded to Seven Deadly Sins  are the ones to help.

Now with regards to our two leads, there is a total of three fake out identity involving them in this episode alone and this just episode 1. It’s bit excessive especially as the show actually goes out it way to pull this off as Meliodas’ wanted poster in his own bar doesn’t look like him. There is a slightly plot reason for this but it’s really just a plot mechanic for people to be incredulous towards Meliodas as he looks like a child and not like his poster and to make the audience confused/giggle,   

I would say aside from all the exposition this episode is fun especially between Meliodas and Hawk, the talking pig.

Actually from the vantage point of review this episode it’s a little maddening since things occurred that make some of the character out right liars.

All in all the first episode of Seven Deadly Sins is a fun introductory episode. It hooked me the first I watched it and while at this point I don’t really want to rewatch season one, it was still fun to watch it  the first episode.

 

Site Note – I’m a little bum that I didn’t get a Fantasy Movie from this exercise or a K-drama but can you do. Despite my lack of regular scheduled posts I’m considering continuing the random Netflix posts but with Foreign movies for July. And then in August I thought of looking at other French Musicals, which could be fun. As for getting back to Hunchback versions, I’m still thinking about which one will be next but I’m leaning towards that Roland Petit Ballet version next even though I know nothing about Ballet. It’s just been a crazy summer and it doesn’t look like it will let up soon.

Season 1 Episode 1 H20: Just add Water

Cariba Heine as Rikki, Phoebe Tonkin as Cleo & Claire Holt as Emma H20: Just add picture image

Cariba Heine as Rikki, Phoebe Tonkin as Cleo & Claire Holt as Emma, H20: Just add Water

I can appreciate that this children/teen show from Australia is not for me or my demographic but that being said everything about it sucks except for that one dolphin.

The premise is that these three teenage girls get stranded on a creepy island after a rich bully was a jerk. On this island they find this tide pool that was in a dormant volcano and somehow being in the water with a full moon causes moon magic to happen. So now when they touch water they turn into mermaids and they have water magic. Maybe the mechanics of the how is addressed later.

This show has a very 80’s approach to it. It feels like it was made in the 80’s but it’s from 2006. However it having an outdate vibe doesn’t make it bad, you know what does?  Everything. The acting is stilted and unnatural. The camera work is dreadful unless it’s underwater.

Even the structure of how the characters are introduced is awful. They just show up. I guess they all go to school together. Emma swims, that is her introduction. She’s on the swim team. Then Cleo gets tricks on a boat by the rich bully, the kind of character you see in every teen movie in the 80s. The rich asshole does this because the boat is broken because his spark plug was taken and for some reason he gets Cleo on the boat before untying it. Why does he do this? He’s an asshole.

The the last  girl, Rikki, jumps on the boat to saves Cleo. Rikki is the one who stole the spark plug, she admits this because tell don’t show.  They then boat around and run in Emma who joins them for boating fun-times.  That is how these three come to together. We don’t know much about them before said metamorphous.

At least we know that Emma is motivated, maybe. Rikki is impulsive, maybe.  And Cleo is timid, I guess.         

This is show awful, everything sucks. I suppose if you like attractive young ladies swimming you could like it. Or if you want ever wanted Splash meets the Secret Life of Alex Mack but with a Australian 80’s/2000’s vibe this could be the show of your dreams, but that is very specific.

Now that Once Upon a Time is done I thought it would be a good time to do another round of random picks from Netflix but this time with Fantasy movies. Since Fantasy is like Fairy Tales.

Every Thursday in June there will be a review of some random Fantasy movie off Netflix.

Just like last time the selection is through https://reelgood.com/roulette/netflix.  There will be no re-rolls, you have my word.

A few guidelines;

  • If I get a show I will only watch/review the first episode.
  • I reserve the right to stop watching the movie/show at least the 30 minute mark. It does take me a lot to quit a movie but I don’t want to waste my worthless time either.
  • If I have seen the movie before I will still review it but in the event that I get a movie/show I have already reviewed before I reserve the right to re-roll but I shall make a note in the post of that event.  The odds of very low of though so I don’t imagine that will happen.

First one is on June 7th!

Idris Elba picture imahe

Idris Elba

A few days ago it was announced that Idris Elba is going to direct, star, and produce, and create the  music for an upcoming version of Hunchback. I want to make a joke about him catering the project too but only because The Critic TV show.

This version will be a Netflix original and will be a modern version, so akin to Quasimodo d’el Paris though I doubt it will be a comedy BUT it was the last movie version to be made. However according the vulture and THR articles it will be a “sonic and musical experience,” so a musical.

This will not be Elba’s first foray in directing, producing, or music. He has directed Yardie  and the Netflix comedy series Turn up Charlie. He has a music credit on Jay-Z’s American Gangster soundtrack album back in 2007 as well as other credits. He is also a DJ and a musician.  Elba is producing the film alongside his producing partner Ana Garanito, Fred Berger (La La Land), and Brian Kavanaugh-Jones (Midnight Special).

The project is also being written by Michael Mitnick, who has written screenplay for The Giver,  The Current War and The American.

While this is exciting, I would like to see a release date before I get too hyped.

What are your thoughts on this project? A Modern Musical of Hunchback on Netflix? Or are you more hyped to find what what Josh Brolin means by “Jazzy”? Or making sense of the roles in the Max Ryan version?

 

 

(Sources)
http://www.vulture.com/2018/05/idris-elba-playing-hunchback-of-notre-dame-for-netflix.html
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/idris-elba-star-hunchback-notre-dame-netflix-1111638
http://collider.com/idris-elba-hunchback-of-notre-dame-netflix/

 

This is no joke the write-up for the Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame on the Netflix app for the PS3, could for other app I just say it on the PS3 one.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda reading Quasimodo’s palm Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

“A deformed bell ringer falls for a beautiful gypsy girl and lives happily ever-after? Hey, it could happen.”

Expect everyone knows it doesn’t. It’s kind of the psedo-clever default joke of the movie like Belle’s two hour Stockholm Syndrome. There is just so must fail in that little write-up that I had to share it.