Reem Kherici as Juliette and Nicolas Duvauchelle as Mathias Wedding Unplanned picture image

Reem Kherici as Juliette and Nicolas Duvauchelle as Mathias

Basically this  is a French Wedding Planner. You know how it goes, the wedding planner falls in love with the groom but instead of a meet-cute where they have some sexual tension here they have a one-night stand at a costume party. Sure, whatever. Also to add more conflict in the mix the wedding planner/mistress (movie’s word), Juliette and the bride-to-be, Alexia were childhood class mates and by that  I mean Alexia was a pretty rich blond mean child and Juliette was fat and poor.

So there is the dynamic of the characters, unfortunately it’s all presented as very shallow and artificial, like this movie needed another round of rewrites and editing to the screenplay. Aside from Juliette’s connection to her childhood/inner child and her alcoholic mother nothing about that seems to impact her life or personality, she seems pretty together and confident.

There is nothing to really suggest that Mathias, the groom,  is at all unhappy being with Alexia except that he has been with her for five years but didn’t think of marriage until Alexia found Juliette’s professional card in his pocket and assumed they were getting married. Alexia is a sort of bitchy and shallow but not deserving  of Mathias’ wishy-washy/lukewarm attitude. Really it’s just bad character development. 

For instance the movie tells us that Mathias doesn’t have a family, ok fine but what happened to them? Are the dead or was there a falling out? I he going to reveal the truth to Juliette there by strengthening their connection? Nope, it’s a taboo subject never brought up again. He might has well have a family if it’s not important to the plot otherwise why bring it up? The movie isn’t at all that interested in flushing out the characters and their interactions beyond smiling,  drinking and the wacky antics they get into.

Which bring us to the humor. Now French humor is a little different, they like misfortune to happen to other people, other people’s pain is funny and BOY does this movie take that and run with it, with train and throws it over a cliff and then breaks its teeth just for good measure. And here are some that occur in the move; Mathias is forced into kissing a man to keep his trite with Juliette a secret, a Bride’s gets her mouth smashed during her wedding after a cross falls on her, Alexia is hit in the face with a tennis ball and breaks for front teeth, Alexia’s father’s prized wine collection is  broken by Juliette as she tries to hide after her Mathias are nearly caught having sex again in Alexia’s father’s house, and many more with one being so awful I nearly stopped the movie. This is a style humor that I don’t find very funny but maybe if the characters were better it could have worked. Like I didn’t care that Alexia got her teeth smashed in. There was no feeling it, it was supposed to be funny but that joke land on it’s face much like that random bride whose face was literally smashed which was also not funny.

While I did finish this movie it wasn’t good  or  enjoyable. Perhaps if you want just a  mindless movie to fill the void for a little over and hour then if’s a fine but you could want anything else and get the result  with your time.

Site Note  While I ‘m happy I at least did the four reviews I set out to do this month but it came down to the wire. While like the idea of reviewing random movie streaming on Netflix I don’t think I will continue. I had mentioned reviewing French Musical in during the month of August, as I have wanted to do that for a while, the truth is my August is looking busy so I’m going to hold off on that for now. In the meantime I want to  at least try to do more Hunchback content even if it’s stupid, like 100 layers of Esmeralda. So no more random movie reviews for a while.  Not sure how frequently I will post but I will try and post something once a week at the very least and something related to Hunchback.

Karla Souza as Maru and Ricardo Abarca as Renato ¿Qué Culpa Tiene el Niño? picture image

Karla Souza as Maru and Ricardo Abarca as Renato ¿Qué Culpa Tiene el Niño?

I’m going to blame the fanfic I read right before I picked a movie to watch for my choice on this one. That’s right, I read something about a one night turing into something more meaningful and then I watch a 2016 Mexican movie about a one night stand turning into something meaning. Also I wanted something that was a different and not Asian/Indian Media.

And like a one night stand turning into something meaningful this movie starts as some nothing and the gets a little more complex at end when there a twist that actually makes it rather sweet.

As you might have guessed this movie is about a young professional upper class woman, Maru,  who has a drunken one night stand and gets pregnant. The guy is a very young unemployed loser named Renato and he is all in on being a dad and marriage and love. Maru doesn’t want to get married to him but does due to family and societal  pressures but in they end up in love and have  their baby.

I haven’t’ seen many examples of Mexican movies so I can’t really rate the style of acting but it seemed fine. Maybe coming off a Bollywood where sometimes in the more mainstream movies, they tend to over-act without much subtlety, so in they were over-the-top in this movie it didn’t come across, aside from the weird musical moments but even then it didn’t seem like too much. Here the characters seemed like slight over-exaggerations of real people. They were fairly shades of gray, as in the characters had their ups and down. Were they amazing characters? No. Were they serviceable for the tone and story being told? Yes.

Was this a great movie? No. Was this a serviceable movie? Yes, I mean I finished it, that seems to be an accomplishment  for me right now.      

Shah Rukh Khan as Raj and Kajol as Meera, Dilwale (2015) picture image

Shah Rukh Khan as Raj and Kajol as Meera, Dilwale (2015)

Sorry, this posting series has gotten away from me, much like reviewing Hunchback versions. Anyway let’s see if I can somehow watch/review two more movies before then end of July. On a better note I did at least decide on the next Hunchback version.

Anyway I hadn’t planned on reviewing another Bollywood movie since I just did one but I watched this with a friend of mine so  I figured why not?

Before we get to this movie, a brief history. As a semi-casual Bollywood fan I enjoy the pairing of Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol. Prior to Dilwale I had seen every movie they have been toegther, which is not major accomplishment. But as a person who enjoys this pairing I was very excited to hear that in 2015 they were going to be a new movie and I had wanted to see it in theaters but then another movie came out around the same time and distracted me. That movie was Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Then I heard Dilwale sucked and I forgot all about it. That is until I saw it streaming on Netflix and I knew I should watch it. So was everyone right? Was this the worst movie with this actor pairing?

The answer is yes. I didn’t finish the movie, I’m such a pro at the whole reviewing movie thing. (I know am not.)

I was so confused by this movie. Most of the characters  are terrible. Shah Rukh Khan plays Raj, I think he repairs cars or something but he used to be a gangster. He has an idiot brother who likes a boring yet conventionally attractive girl. Raj is okay with the pairing until he meets the girl’s  sister, Meera. Meera and Raj had an affair 15 years ago in Bulgaria but she was in a rival gang and both their father killed each other or something. And then she shot him.

Was there anything good about the movie? I mean maybe we should just focus on the positives.

Oddly I liked that the film said they were in Bulgaria, as random as that sounds. But there is a movie called Hum Dil de Chuke Sanam, which a way better movie, but in that movie they tried, and failed, to convince the viewer that Hungry was Italy. It was clearly Budapest they went to and not Rome. So I guess kudos Dilwale for saying you filmed in a place and putting that in the story?

What else? The Shah Rukh/Kajol part of the story was better than anything with the younger couple. That should have been the movie. Their chemistry wasn’t as good as any of their other movies.

Some of the lighting was okay. It was OVERDONE in cluttering the frame but it was a nice distraction in parts.

Everything was bad. This movie was bad. If you like the pairing of these actors and want to be a completionist sure you could watch it  but I would recommend the other movies they have been in. Sometimes it’s not worth being a completionist.         

Season 1 Episode 1 H20: Just add Water

Cariba Heine as Rikki, Phoebe Tonkin as Cleo & Claire Holt as Emma H20: Just add picture image

Cariba Heine as Rikki, Phoebe Tonkin as Cleo & Claire Holt as Emma, H20: Just add Water

I can appreciate that this children/teen show from Australia is not for me or my demographic but that being said everything about it sucks except for that one dolphin.

The premise is that these three teenage girls get stranded on a creepy island after a rich bully was a jerk. On this island they find this tide pool that was in a dormant volcano and somehow being in the water with a full moon causes moon magic to happen. So now when they touch water they turn into mermaids and they have water magic. Maybe the mechanics of the how is addressed later.

This show has a very 80’s approach to it. It feels like it was made in the 80’s but it’s from 2006. However it having an outdate vibe doesn’t make it bad, you know what does?  Everything. The acting is stilted and unnatural. The camera work is dreadful unless it’s underwater.

Even the structure of how the characters are introduced is awful. They just show up. I guess they all go to school together. Emma swims, that is her introduction. She’s on the swim team. Then Cleo gets tricks on a boat by the rich bully, the kind of character you see in every teen movie in the 80s. The rich asshole does this because the boat is broken because his spark plug was taken and for some reason he gets Cleo on the boat before untying it. Why does he do this? He’s an asshole.

The the last  girl, Rikki, jumps on the boat to saves Cleo. Rikki is the one who stole the spark plug, she admits this because tell don’t show.  They then boat around and run in Emma who joins them for boating fun-times.  That is how these three come to together. We don’t know much about them before said metamorphous.

At least we know that Emma is motivated, maybe. Rikki is impulsive, maybe.  And Cleo is timid, I guess.         

This is show awful, everything sucks. I suppose if you like attractive young ladies swimming you could like it. Or if you want ever wanted Splash meets the Secret Life of Alex Mack but with a Australian 80’s/2000’s vibe this could be the show of your dreams, but that is very specific.

The final random pick is To and From New York. Its runtime of 80 minutes gives me pause but it’s at least short.

 

To and From New York picture image

To and From New York

 

Of all the movies I could have randomly gotten, I got this, a low budget independent  movie that is not as bad as The Room but not as enjoyable either.

The plot is an engaged woman named Lydia, goes to New York City for an article. One  night she goes with a college friend to speed dating. She meets a guy who works in a museum and through some series of events she become friends with him. However the plot is she finds a lead between two missing woman and using her new artist friend and another  friend who is a matchmarker/ hosted the speed date, she finds out what happen to these two women and it’s really anticlimactic.   But the good news is that Lydia breaks up with her fiancee and moves to New York. Though we never meet her fiancee or see the break-up.

That is pretty much the movie.

To and From New York is not good by any means. In an objective grading score it would get no high marks. The  most you can say is that at least the person who wrote, directed and produced  the movie, tried to bring his dream to life and that is worth something. Though it was misguided with too many weird chocker shots and odd edits.

It’s just better to go after a soulless studio cash grabs than a low budget independent movie where art and dating try and save the day in the end. It’s the difference between going after an establish author versus someone who self-publishes on kindle or a fanfic writer. Some people are just better but you can’t be too harsh on the work for being amateurish and unpolished.

If you truly have nothing better to do with your 80 minutes sure you could watch it but there is no reason to seek this movie out unless you want to watch every movie that The Cures’ music has been in because this movie has a The Cure song.

The third random pick is Tamanchey. I have many bad feelings about this one.

 

Tamanchey picture image

Tamanchey

Tamanchey means a pistol, often one built locally with not so high quality materials, so it’s the perfect metaphor for this movie’s execution. This movie is a load of hot rotten garbage from start to finish. It just took my low expectations and really ran with them.    

Nikhil Dwivedi as Munna & Richa Chadda as Babu Tamanchey picture image

Nikhil Dwivedi as Munna & Richa Chadda as Babu

The plot is  two criminals, a gal and a dude are both captured and both of their police vehicle go off a cliff and somehow only them and one cob survive, this leads to nothing. The lady is named Babu and she is a drug ring and seems to really like her work and the guy, Munna, does something with threats. Anyway they fall in love sort of. Munna is into the crass Babu despite saying he likes the demure type.  They have train sex which is on a bed of tomatoes so I guess it’s love on his end. The next day Babu peaces out and returns to her gang and lover/boss. Munna follows and they have an affair. Violence ensues and in the end they both die even though they were turning themselves  in for their crimes.

One of the biggest issues with this movie is the characters, they are vastly unlikable. Munna is a blithering idiot even though it’s reveled at the end that he was some kind of mastermind to keep the boss in the cuckold position. Though in all likelihood the movie was trying to make him naive in matters of love. Babu on the other-hand is crass, overtly sexual and seems to enjoy her life of drug selling and somehow she is boring, not sure how the movie pulled that off but they did.

With the character being unlikable and just not caring it took scenes that are being played as tense into a farcical direction. Though to be fair during a bank robbery the two leads are grinding on each other while they steal from safety despot boxes so maybe it is all a farce. Another indicator that this movie could be a farce is it take the two leads a long time to get the idea to kill the boss so they can be together, two criminals with no real moral compass take over an hour to come to the easiest conclusion.      

Nikhil Dwivedi as Munna & Richa Chadda as Babu Tamanchey picture image

Nikhil Dwivedi as Munna & Richa Chadda as Babu

Typically there is usually something that distracts from the terrible character and lack of story like costumes, or scene framing, or the lightning or music score or with Bollywood the music numbers however this movie has nothing. It goes the extra mile in mediocrity. There is one thing that was distracting though, the sound mixing and by distracting I mean it was bad. I recall from a commentary from a better Bollywood movie that Bollywood are dub over with ADR and with this movie you can REALLY tell, it was that bad.  None of the lines sounded naturally recorded from the actors.       

There is nothing good to say about Tamanchey it was a boring movie with terrible characters and sloppy execution.    

Last February I looked at four romantic period movies, this year I thought I would try something I have been watching to try for a while. I’m going to randomly pick a “romance” movie or TV show  and review it. I’m going to this four time so one post a week.  The selection is through https://reelgood.com/roulette/netflix with only the genre romance picked.  There will be no re-rolls, you have my word.

A few guidelines;

  • If I get a show I will only watch/review the first episode.
  • I reserve the right to stop watching the movie/show at least the 30 minute mark. It does take me a lot to quit a movie but I don’t want to waste my worthless time either.
  • If I have seen the movie before I will still review it but in the event that I get a movie I have already reviewed before I reserve the right to re-roll but I shall make a note in the post of that event.  The odds of very low of though so I don’t imagine that will happen.

So guide me oh Netflix gods… What is your first pick?!

The First pick is Red Carpet. Could have guessed that from the subject line though.

Red Carpet 2014 Korean Movie picture image

Red Carpet 2014

Red Carpet is a 2014 Korean Rom-com drama about a porn director, Jung-Woo who dreams of being actual film director. He also falls in love with a former child actress and encourages her to go on a audition and she makes it big as an actress and she encourages him to make his movies. Oddly I figured was going to get something from Korea but I figured it would be a K-drama, which I have seen a few, not many but a handful. I just didn’t think it would be the first one but here we are. Wonder if I will get another before the month is done?

 

Jun-hee Ko as Eun-Su and Dal-hwan Jo as Jung-Soo Red Carpet 2014 Korean Movie picture image

Jun-hee Ko as Eun-Su and Dal-hwan Jo as Jung-Soo Red Carpet 2014

I wouldn’t say this was a bad movie but it had many issues. The biggest one was just how contrived it was. The two leads meet because the some apartment mix-up where Eun-Su  moves into Jung-Woo’s apartment. Not sure how that housing thing makes any sense other than a plot device. Then they encourage each other and fall in love and hook up then the plot misunderstand occurs. You see Eun-Su doesn’t know Jung-Woo works in pornography so she think he hooking-up with someone else and thus they part ways. He tries to make up with her and eventually he does. They film his legit movie but then scandal because he was  porn director and she is a top actress but it all works out in the end. It’s just all very contrived.

Then there is the humor. I didn’t get it. It might be that I either don’t resonate with Korean humor or I just didn’t work for me. It was all very awkward. Like sure the horse in heat on the highway part was funny but it’s require so many mental loops to get there. Like the horse was used in a film production, so how does the production even allow for the horse to get off the set and on the highway and the horse was in heat. Do productions even cast horses in heat?   Is that a question I have to ask?

 

 Red Carpet 2014 Korean Movie picture image

Red Carpet, 2014

Also the passing was an issue. Most of the movie seemed like porn based comedic vignette than plot than more comedy till like the end. It made the movie  hard to get into and pay attention to and it wasn’t long movie, just two hours.    

It wasn’t a wholly bad movie, it had it’s moments but it’s very,contrived and not all the comedy lands. Plus as a movie about Pornography, it’s very tame and naive.    

 

The Hunchback of Notre Dame reference in Red Carpet 2014 Korean Movie picture image

The Hunchback of Notre Dame reference in Red Carpet

This movie oddly has a Hunchback of Notre Dame reference in it, what are the odds? One of their porno scripts or movies is called, according to the subtitles “The Hunchback of Notre Dick.”  What luck finding a Hunchback reference in a random Korean movie.

Episode 21: The Final Battle Part I

Jennifer Morrison as Emma Once Upon a Time Season 6 Episode 21 The Final Battle Part 1 picture image

Jennifer Morrison as Emma

Okay for the record Henry is 14 which means 4 years of show time have past but then how old is Neal and Robin? Really just forget about time in the show, it’s easier on the brain.

So the final battle is the Never-Ending Story. The Black Fairy has Emma in a version of Storybrooke where she is a mental patient battling belief. As her belief wanes all the Story realms fade away. Emma’s family except for Henry is back in the Enchanted Forest and the EQ has moved into Regina’s castle. Also Aladdin and Jasmine are back. The hat is mention and Hook gets a bean to save Emma. But Emma burns the book at Fiona’s insistent.

Also really show, more amnesia? Or is the curse a type of alt-world or both. I’m confused.

While the idea of the final battle is more of battle of faith does bring the series full circle, what does The Black Fairy get out of it? She just gave into to the fate of a villain to fight good but that is so basic and now she just doing this whole killing the savior’s belief because that’s what she suppose to do. Doesn’t make much sense for the story. It’s more like the writers had this concept for the last part of Once Upon a Time and the villain was just sort whoever. Or they did know that it was the Black Fairy but didn’t really do a great job at that element that makes a good villain, motivation. The Black Fairy always seemed half-baked in her evil plans. Why did she kidnap babies? Why did she want out of her realm? Why does she want to kill the savior? Shrugs to all those questions except the getting out, she wanted to be with Rumple but did she really???

Also did anyone notice that the plot of Untold story characters fizzled out? It went away awhile ago and really all it amounted to was EQ, Jasmine, and Nemo, Wish we could have know Hyde’s plan.

This episode also adds setup for next season with some little girl in “a time of great upheaval.” And the photoshop work on those pictures of Belle were REALLY bad.

Any that was part one, onto part two.

Episode 22: The Final Battle Part 2

Jennifer Morrison as Emma & Jared S. Gilmore as Henry picture image

Jennifer Morrison as Emma & Jared S. Gilmore as Henry

I will say, this the ending on one point for I guess that book of Once upon a Time. Next season it will focus on a new book with an adult Henry and his daughter, ye old gender swap plot.

So what happened? Well number one we learned that The Black Fairy’s true motivation for killing the savior and I guess the story realms were so that she could break the laws of magic, whatever those are, and have unchecked power. She baits Rumple with bring Baelfire back to life. She also tells him that she still has Gideon heart and that only he can kill Emma. Rumple them kills the Black Fairy thus breaking the curse. Rumple has committed both patricide and matricide. Anyway Rumple tries and do the right thing by getting Gideon’s heart to stop him but alas it doesn’t work.

So Emma and Gideon fight but she sort stops and lets him stab her which I guess works because she doesn’t die and Gideon gets a restart as a baby. This only works because Emma and Rumple did the right thing. I don’t know how this make sense. I guess Rumple was an anti-Emma this whole time and now he doe switching from be somewhat redeemed and being a power-hungry ass-face.

It all wraps up with everyone being super happy and Emma is Jesus. She is in the Jesus position in OUAT’s version of the Last Supper.

And we did get to see David’s dog again? Where has he been this whole time? Seriously show!

Season 6 was an unfocused mess as it has WAY too many plot threads. Oddly the finale made up for it a little as it was a nice throwback to the first season and did have a sense of what made the first season really good.

And then there is the cliffhanger for season 7 with only three of the cast members returning. The Trailer and a promo recently came out and it does seem weird but who knows I won’t lie and say i’m not a little curious. Maybe this series needs a Fresh Start.

 

Episode 19: The Black Fairy

Jaime Murray as Fiona (The Black Fairy) & Sara Tomko as Tiger Lily Once Upon a Time Season 6 Episode 19 The Black Fairy picture image

Jaime Murray as Fiona (The Black Fairy) & Sara Tomko as Tiger Lily

In theory this could have been a great episode as it goes into Rumple and the Black Fairy’s origins. Unfortunate the fan theory about The Black Fairy being the Hyde to The Blue Fairy’s Jekyll were not true. The Hyde plot exist solely for Regina.

The Black Fairy was just a loving woman named Fiona who is told by Fairy Tiger Lily that Rumple is the or A Savior, who will die by some great evil born in winter of that year. Question, why doesn’t Tiger Lily get a color name? Like Tink was Green. Anyway I could understand this show a little better if Saviors are always or at least sometimes the product of true love but nope just random lottery with too much light magic and a tragic fate. Still doesn’t explain why Emma’s magic went from being True Love based to Savior base. Ho-hum!

Miraculously, Fiona is peasant woman who can read and reads enough Fairy Lore to turn herself into a fairy. Okay, who is else finds it interesting that she a yellow coded fairy and sports a hairstyle very similar to Belle’s hairstyle in the movie. Clever.

Anyway her dark secret is that by trying to make save Rumple she crafts the Dark curse but when Tiger Lily tries to stop Fiona, Fiona tries to kill her turning her into The Black Fairy and the evil destined to kill Rumple. Tiger Lily gives her the shears to cut off her destiny and magic but The Black Fairy cuts Rumple ties to his Savior status and Blue banishes her. Why is that such a dark secret?

There are many issues with this backstory. The biggest is that Rumple says something to effect that dark magic originated with The Black Fairy but that can’t be true. Dark Magic started with Nimue turning into the first Dark One which had to been at least 100 years prior to Rumpe being born. I mean if we go off the timeline Nimue lives 500 years prior to Snow and David’s time. The Timeline is very shaky though. Another problem is the authorship of Dark Curse is all over the place. It seems like Rumple crafted it back when he wanted to follow Baelfire to the Land without Magic. Or did he just modify it? Seem less impactful if he did.

The backstory really didn’t clear up much. If anything is raises more questions like, why did she steal children? Was it an echo of Rumple’s original tale? Because his children kidnapping made no sense. In fact it made such little sense the show offers two maybe reasons. There was the selling of his 2nd born and luring his mother out. How did he even know The Black Fairy was his mother? His father thought she was dead.

Probably the biggest question it raise is what is The Black Fairy’s motivation for killing Emma now? It makes zero sense. Her first plan was to break out her from her realm to get to Rumple. It just seems like something she fixated on with no reason and makes “ The Final Battle” even more contrived.

One more thing that could be considered interesting, Rumple and Aladdin both cut their fate but it still did creep up to them. Aladdin became a Genie to save Agrabah and Rumple died killing his own father to save Storybrooke. Perhaps Saviors never truly get cut from their fate they just lose their light magic. Tragic fates still pending.

However that is not the only issue with the episode. But before we get more into that, anyone notice that the design of the Dragon Egg is straight out of Game of Thrones? Because it was obvious.

Okay the other issue, Rumple lied to Emma’s face and nothing! Why do people trust this guy so readily? Honestly there didn’t need this “superpower” for Emma. I probably would have forgotten about it, if only Emma hadn’t brought it up. You know someone should watch the series all over again and see how many times Emma catches a lie and how many time she doesn’t. That would be interesting infomation. She probably fair better in season 1 but trails off after season 3.

Another issue and this is a nitpick, Regina telling Zelena to flee to New York with Robin and Henry. Why is it always New York. Anywhere in Maine is technically safer as there no magic but they bring up New York all the time. I mean they know Massachusetts exists and Boston hasn’t been mention since like season 4. But for fun let’s say that Storybrooke is somewhere near Cutler, Maine, it’s on the coast much like Storybrooke and judging from a map doesn’t have much nearby, could be wrong. Cutler Maine to New York City is a 9 hour drive. I think this constant escape to New York City is just annoying me. Seriously is because there are two empty apartments? Does Rumple rent the apartment? Prime Manhattan real estate is left unoccupied? That is the really fantasy of Once Upon a Time.

Another bit of fantasy that is another logic issue is that in the previous episode season 6 Episode 18: Where Bluebirds Fly, Emma says that the wedding should be postponed. Now in season 6 episode 19: The Black Fairy, the wedding is next day! What the heck? And Hook asks Henry to be his best man the night before? What the what? Are Emma and Hook eloping? Who does this? They rushed this because I won’t pretend to be an expert but weddings take planning. Maybe in Storybrooke they can expedite things with magic. But a pesto royal wedding that’s pure fluffy fantasy. Can’t really suspend logic for that one

The only highlight of this episode was Zelena hitting The Black Fairy with a car.

Regina makes with teasing quip about ig Zelena has to flee with Henry and Robin, that it would be Henry raising Zelena but come to think about Zelena might be the best mother. She clearly loves and takes care of Robin all by herself pretty much and she cared for Roland in New York. How much do Snow and David do for Neal? Oh well maybe they just royals and have someone else looking after their baby.

This episode was wasted potential and a mix of poor choices. If they hadn’t done the whole Jekyll and Hyde and EQ plot the Origins of The Black Fairy and Rumple could have been better but still with the origins of the Dark one and Season 1 Rumple, this backstory just clashes with the show’s own mythos.

Episode 20: The Song in Your Heart

Colin O'Donoghue as Hook, Jennifer Morrison as Emma & Raphael Sbarge as Archie Hopper Once Upon a Time Season 6 Episode 20 The Song in Your Heart picture image

Colin O’Donoghue as Hook, Jennifer Morrison as Emma & Raphael Sbarge as Archie Hopper

What? A musical episode? Okay, going to separate this one out a little bit. Going to review it as an regular episode then as a musical.

The opening maintain the wrong continuity that Emma was in Minneapolis young child. Season 4 called it said she was in Boston. So unless there is a past section that corrects this error I’m going to blame a writer.

Anyway young Emma start singing into a tape record and then some other older orphan tells her that because she’s alone no will want to hear her sing. Not sure that makes sense. Loneliness doesn’t equal lack of singing talent.

Turns out in the past Snow and Charming wished for something to help Emma get her happy ending which is a song but Snow and Charming start bursting into song. The spell affects everyone around mainly Regina, Hook and Zelena who is in OZ. Rumple isn’t affect and while the joke about him not singing was obvious it still was cute. Zelena decided to help Regina break the song as weird way of oneupmanship. Snow and Charming feel defeated but The Blue Fairy, who cast the song, tells them the song wasn’t really broken it still in fetus Emma and she will use it against the final boss, who is not Regina.

As Emma plans for wedding later that night, The Black Fairy tells her the curse will drop at 6pm unless Emma gives up her heart. Emma tries but Henry finds the Song part of the story and Emma uses her songstress powers against The Black fairy. After the wedding the curse falls. Doesn’t the Black Fairy dust turn people into bugs? Turns out everyone thinks it will transport them somewhere, a Dark Curse 4.0.

Before discussing the musical aspect of the episode let’s nitpick it more. I have a problem believing Emma took the tape recorder from her group home, kept it, brought it to Storybrooke, never used it again but she rewound it? I mean what? Then again the camcorder from season 4. It’s the same thing.

Hook also tries to nearly kill Rumple with Dreamshade but it doesn’t even remotely work. Season 2 called however and it said that the dreamshade was seconds away from killing Rumple. Remember when his name was fading off the dagger. It was only Snow traded Cora’s life for Rumple that he didn’t die. And Rumple can die remember season 3 when he died? Also Dark Ones die, that is how Rumple became a Dark One in the first place. Show is it asking too much that you remember events that happened?

Oh and The Black fairy reveals her motivations for fighting Emma. It because Good and Evil were destined to fight. Weak! For a show that keeps trying to redeem its villains and heroes do questionable things, this one is so black and white. It’s super contrived.

I don’t care if this show is a fantasy, what kind of bride doesn’t pick out a wedding gown on her big day but literally has three wedding dresses on stand-by? Hook did the same thing. He had a white suit but then wore an all black tux.

I was also really disappoint by Emma’s wedding gown. First off it was a copy of Grace Kelly’s gown and on its own was pretty but didn’t suit Emma’s character at all. Apparently the reason for that was Jennifer Morrison liking Kelly’s dress. Costumers shouldn’t curtail to actors as much. It’s not about the actor it’s about character. The red gown she wore to that Ball in the past end season three suited her better. But then again there was an odd dress code at the wedding. Why were all the men in tuxes but the ladies were not in formal attire. The men were dressed for a formal nighttime wedding but the ladies’ dresses were suited more for an afternoon garden wedding. Why did the show miss a chance to dress up the ladies? Also astroturf as a aisle runner on a roof? Show, are you smoking-crack-crazy?

That brings up to the musical part of the episode. The story really just facilitates the musical segments. They are integrated well and the past doesn’t really retcon other events so that is plus.

Let’s not mince words, the actors are not professional singers, they all got tech help though they don’t sound robotic or super obvious for the most part.

The first song is called “Powerful Magic” and it sung by David and Snow. Snow wishes for a way to give Emma a happy ending and poof they sing all the time. It’s a nice upbeat song. Ginnifer Goodwin and Josh Dallas’ voice are suited to this song. Overall it was enjoyable

Regina is next. Turns out she doesn’t like this spell. Her song is called “Love Doesn’t Stand a Chance.” Aside from Lana Parrilla chewing the scene this not a good song. It’s kinda all over the place. She is clearly having fun with so I can see people enjoying for that reason and her ruining other people’s song is fun. The song doesn’t seem suited to Lana Parrilla’s voice even though it was written for her. You can just hear her struggling with it even though the auto-tuning

Hook is the next one to get a song. It’s called “Revenge is Gonna be Mine,” you can guess what that is about. Snow and David hire him to take them to Regina. Hook refuses until Snow and David offer Rumple as the payment. So far this is the best one. Colin O’Donoghue has really good voice and it’s a fun jointy song. Who doesn’t like singing dancing pirates in a bar?

For some reason the spell affects OZ so Zelena gets a song. It’s called “Wicked Always Wins.” It’s not the strongest song and the visuals are weak by Rebecca Mader has a nice tone to her voice.

The next song is “Charmings vs Evil Queen” this just a remix of “Powerful Magic” and “Love Doesn’t Stand a Chance.” It’s a battle in song.

The next one is the weaponized song. “Emma’s Theme” is the song that Emma uses to beat The Black Fairy or really just unfreeze her family as they got frozen in time. Jennifer Morrison doesn’t have the strongest of voices. It much softer than you would accept. It could be a case that the song was not all that suited to her voice.

The last song of the episode is “A Happy Beginning.” This is an ensemble piece where all the major characters get a solo. Jennifer Morrison isn’t much of a singer. Oddly Ginnifer Goodwin and Josh Dallas were weaker in this song but Lana Parrilla’s voice sounded much better. This song is better with the ensemble singing than with the solo. The “Nah Nah Nah’ part was unnecessary. The song went on a bit but was okay.

So visuals for the song were a little weird. They did make good use of the sets and angles. They also made the dancers make sense as they felt natural in the scene except for Zelena’s song where she just terrorize the munchkins. There was a habit of playing to the camera like an audience which was off-putting. You don’t have to do that with the medium. Make it more of a music video and less stagey.

When I heard there was musical episode I thought it was going to be awful but it was pretty good. The episode’s plot is just an excuse to make it a musical. The plot didn’t however ruin any of the previous plot elements and did advance the story. Was it perfect? No. Was it enjoyable? Yes. I can even forgive the weird style of the wedding and even the Dreamshade/immortal thing. Also did Belle not get an invite?

 

Episode 17: Awake

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White and Josh Dallas as David Once Upon a Time Season 6 Episode 17 Awake picture image

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White and Josh Dallas as David

There is so many issues with this episode that I’m amazed it got written in the first place. First off as it turns out Snow and David woke up from the curse ten years in because of pixie flowers. These deus-ex-machina flowers unite people with their true love which does connect Snow and David to Emma, remember that for later. So when they have a chance to get Emma back they can’t because if they do she’ll never be the savior. How? How does Emma growing up alone without her parents make her the Savior? Because if recall she was the “savior” or the one to break the curse because Rumple put that into the curse that a product of true love would break the curse. Her being a savior has zero to do with her being an orphan. They could have raised to the age of 28 and something else could have led her to Storybrooke. This just a retcon for no purpose. It doesn’t even make sense. No wonder the rules of magic keep changing, the writers can’t remember the reason why Emma was a chosen one or where her powers come from, they just made up the Savior thing as they went. I do wonder if they started that to keep Emma special because there is another product of True Love who keeps getting forgotten, Baby Neal, who is somewhere, probably, maybe. Are Snow and David good parents?

Also Snow and David wake up from the curse and not in the way you think. The Idea of their curse is that since they share a heart they share the curse and when one is awake the other is asleep. Oh, if only there was another person that was part of this True Love triangle. Oh but wait there is.

By the episode’s own admission Emma is part of that love ergo she could have woken them up this whole time. The freakin epsiode said she was their true love as children often are BUT the episode didn’t do that. Instead of the logical method which they have done before the show opts for a Kumbaya method where the town’s people take the curse to share it with them to wake them up. How does multiple people taken a weaken sleeping curse even wake them up in the first place? It makes no sense. The only reason I can think of for why the didn’t have Emma kiss her parents because it would have less dramatic and kind of a “duh” moment if it had come to that. But then again Rumple was under the dark curse till David woke him and then went back under even though in season 1 and past section in that Welcome to Storybrooke episode in season 2, he was clearly not under curse, so whatever.

They only decent part of this episode was Tiger Lily and Hook. They teamed up to get Hook home so that he can give Emma a wand to banish the Black Fairy apparently Tiger Lily has a history with her. And also Hook return via the pixie flower and pops the question again.

This episode was a trainwreck. It retcon elements to the point of ruining the story and the previous set-up which the writers have clearly forgotten.

Episode 18: Where Blue Birds Fly

Lana Parrilla as Regina & Rebecca Mader as Zelena Once Upon a Time Season 6 Episode 17 Where Blue Bird Fly picture image

Lana Parrilla as Regina & Rebecca Mader as Zelena

This epsiode rounds out Zelena’s arc as a sort sidebar friend-sister-enemy. The Black Fairy tricks her into charging some fairy crystals with dark magic as Zelena wanted to prove she was the best like no one ever was. Turns out she chooses to fix her mistake and picks friendship over magic and in doing so elects to drain her magic from herself which drains the crystals. So Zelena is sans magic.

The b plot was about finding a wedding venue. Snow is all cheery and happy saying a diner would be perfect but David has higher standards. Turns out David just wants to stall things till the battle is done so Emma can enjoy the day but Snow is all hope speeches. But I agree with David, a diner, really Snow. If only there was a lavish unoccupied space like the Sorcerer’s Mansion? Or A park that is the gates to hell? They also plan on postponing the wedding till the Black Fairy is dealt with. Anyway not a bad B-plot but very much a b-plot.

This episode was alright aside from rounding out Zelena’s arc it didn’t do all that much for the plot. There is this part where the Blue Fairy wakes up from her coma which Gideon caused to reforge the sword that kills Emma. Apparently the Black Fairy wanted her off the table because she know her darkest secret. What could it be? If it’s that she is really Blue’s darker side, that would bring the season full-circle and aside from the Aladdin plot, the other plot threads would make sense. Would also make Blue more interesting.

Also Pancakes are to Hook and Emma to what Tacos are to Snow and David. ^_~.