The Wedding Planner picture image

The Wedding Planner

FINALLY a wedding movie that doesn’t take plan in New York City. I didn’t really mention that but all the other took place in NYC and nothing is wrong with that it’s just variety is the spice of life. The 2001 movie, The Wedding Planner took place in San Francisco like some other wonder movies such as The Room. But does the different setting mean The Wedding Planner is a good, no that is silly however as it stand the movie is meh to ok at best at worst it’s meh to dull and VERY predictable.

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) saving Mary (Jennifer Lopez) The Wedding Planner picture image

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) saving Mary (Jennifer Lopez)

The movie follows Mary (Jennifer Lopez), a wedding planner who is trying to land a big account at her wedding planning firm. One day after she lands said big account she meets a handsome doctor, Steve (Matthew McConaughey) and they share a romantic moment and surprise, surprise he’s the groom. As this is going on Mary is being pursued by this childhood friend of her’s the her father wants her to marry. As is standard with wedding movie the Steve doesn’t get married on his wedding day though his fiancee is okay-ish with it since she was second guess the marriage too. Mary is going to marry the Italian guy but doesn’t and in a nice twist the movie makes you think Steve is going to break up the wedding but he doesn’t but other wise it standard wedding movie fair.

Also Judy “You’re NOT my Supervisor” Greer is in this movie, though she is nice in this movie which is just weird.

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) comforting a bride The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) comforting a bride

One thing that is good about this movie is AT least Mary’s obsession with wedding is channeled into her being a wedding planner unlike in 27 dresses and Bride Wars where the characters are just obsessed with them.

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) and Mary's childhood friend, Maximo (Justin Chambers) The Wedding Planner picture image

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) and Mary’s childhood friend, Maximo (Justin Chambers)

But you know what is interesting especially when compared to the other movies it how the relationship go and who the main characters picks. In this movie Mary has two choices for guys the one she JUST met, Steve the Doctor and the one she has the shared history with, her childhood friend Maximo. In the end she goes with Steve over Maximo. This is kinda similar with 27 Dresses where Jane has the choice between her boss whom she has known for years and a guy she just met, though the one she just meets in the movie shows more interest.

Bride Wars is very different in the Emma knew both guys for a long period of time but since the audience doesn’t know her with Liv’s brother we the audience have to assume that they don’t really know each other that well over her and Fletcher who had been living together and know each for a decade.
Then we have Made of Honor, which had more of Bro tone which made it a hybrid-chick flick. This film makes it very clear that Hannah didn’t know Colin at all despite that they spent a month together going to museums and traveling which you would make you think they talked but the film defames the whole love at first sight which The Wedding Planner glorifies.

Also I have give props to the jilted couples in these movie, they take it all like pros especially in this movie where we have not one but two and they just handle it really well, like unnaturally well.

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Steve (Steve (Matthew McConaughey) doing a snarky tango The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Steve (Steve (Matthew McConaughey) doing a snarky tango

So what about our couple, Mary and Steve? Well to put it nicely, they have all the on-screen chemistry of a refrigerator and sunblock. Seriously, oil and water have better chemistry than these two. I didn’t believe them at all, I mean they have the classic attractive people who smile at each and/or have snarky banter, clearly they must be in love.

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) with Fran ( Bridgette Wilson-Sampras) The Wedding Planner picture image

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) with Fran (Bridgette Wilson-Sampras)

But you know this a wedding movie damn it, only one thing matters, the wedding gown and in this movie we get two. Three if you REALLY want to count the lady at beginning but I won’t. Fran’s dress is REALLY standard, it’s pretty but it very conventional, the veil is pretty. I wish the band a under the bust wasn’t beige. Apparently it had more details than I’m letting on, as it had lace, sequins and button but I didn’t perceive in the movie it just wasted details. And once agian it’s a Vera Wang, I don’t hate Wang’s design but really why are these gown so like text book bridal?

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) in her wedding gown The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) in her wedding gown

Mary’s city hall affair dress is the foil Fran’ s dress. It’s a sixty style short dress with off-shoulder and a pillbox veil hat and 3/4 sleeves with buttons. It’s a sweet dress and it seems like contextually it was Mary’s mother so while it didn’t suit Mary’s style it work within the movie. It’s not really my cup of tea but it’s fine. I guess I could as that from Fran’s too.

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Fran ( Bridgette Wilson-Sampras) The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Fran ( Bridgette Wilson-Sampras)

As far as movies go The Wedding Planner is very predicable fair even for wedding movie standard. It has it’s entertaining moments but the predictability and lack of chemistry makes it a dull this to watch.

It also has some VERY stupid shit in it, like the statue’s ball, that brown M&Ms are better for you than the other colors, and that Mary would risk her life for Gucci shoes. And Justin Chambers’s fake accent is cringe-worthy.

Also that the fact Mary was jilted before her wedding was REALLY shoehorned in for like no real and yet she is STILL a wedding planner. Her being a bit of a control freak goes hand-in-hand with her wedding planning and why she doesn’t have her own love life, it wasn’t needed and didn’t go anywhere.

Bride Wars picture image

Bride Wars

At last, we come to the low hanging fruit. This movie hangs so low of that it’s on the ground, really this movie doesn’t seem like a challenge to review. I’m talking about the 2009 travesty known as Bride Wars. Really, this movie is so bad that Nostradamus himself predicated its coming. Ok no, that is giving this shit-poo too much credit and it’s not the worse movie in the world, it only has a 10% on Rotten Tomatoes when Happily N’ever after has a 4% and Alone in the Dark has 1%, so where not in that area of totally ass-ness but we venture close, very close.

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) at the wedding planners Bride Wars picture image

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) at the wedding planners

The movie is about childhood friends Liv and Emma. Both have a happy memory about having tea at the plaza in June and seeing a wedding, they both decide at the tender age of young girl that they both want to have June weddings at the Plaza. So they both Live in New York City and Liv (Kate Hudson) is a perfectionist control-freak lawyer who somehow lost her parents or something, the movie doesn’t really fleshed that out and Emma (Anne Hathaway) is a people-pleaser middle school teacher.

Both have serious boyfriends and both become engaged at the same time. Both go to the same wedding planner and they are told there are three spots at the Plaza in June, two on the sixth and one 27th. So Liv takes the 6th and Emma 27th but OH the plot, there was a mix-up and they are both on the same day Nooooooooooooo! So because they don’t really want to ruin their ideal wedding dreams, they start attacking each other in girly-bitch methods like getting one fat, rumors, embarrassment, messing with tanning and hair dye and full-on wedding fight. They pretty much reconcile when Emma, who had been having friction with her fiancee decides on their wedding day to call it off. SO Liv gets married and Emma doesn’t but at the end she marries Liv’s brother and they find out they are both pregnant a year later, hello sequel that never happen.

Liv (Kate Hudson) with blue hair Bride Wars picture image

Liv (Kate Hudson) with blue hair

Ok. number ONE, the plot of competing best friends could have and should been handled before they were even told. Second, it was a breech of contact and they had the right to sue. Third, why the fuck didn’t the other bride just switch? She would have been operating under the assumption her wedding was the 6th and not the 27th. The plot just rest on something that is stupid and fixable but the movie wants to spend more time on women acting like selfish bitches.

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) catching a bouquet Bride Wars picture image

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) catching a bouquet

The movie also tries to justify Liv and Emma acting like children. First they both have this idea that any wedding that isn’t at the Plaza in June it is beneath them but they wrap this up in Liv and Emma having reasons for their attachment. Liv’s excuse is that the Plaza was the happiest memory from her childhood, and yes that is a better reason than Emma’s who has just been saving up for it though she makes less money than Liv the Lawyer. But also Emma is a people-pleaser who can’t really say no, so she wants something for her.

So they both think they are justified BUT they both could have had it they had taken better action in the first place. And REALLY is June  important? I can understand the location but the month? Some months aren’t good but they made it seem like June was the fucking end all be all and not the person they were marrying.

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) Bride Wars picture image

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway)

Briefly let’s just talk about the guys, Liv’s boyfriend just gives in to her and pretty just chill, I forgot his name. Emma’s guy, Fletcher is overbearing and just wants Emma to be a sweet little person with no emotions or that is how the movie wants us to view him because we can’t feel sad when him and Emma break up to allow for Liv’s wedding. Also Emma ends up with Liv’s bother of whom gets like two scenes with Emma and exhibits no personality, so match made in heaven I guess.

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Liv's groom cutting their "Trendy fusion" cake Bride Wars picture image

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Liv’s groom cutting their “Trendy fusion” cake

Now we talk about the weddings. The most ironic thing about this movie is that wedding that is not in June and not at the Plaza is better looking than Emma’s and Liv’s dream elitist weddings. Granted, we didn’t see that wedding only the reception. I forget what their themes were but Emma was something like minimal romantic and Liv’s was trendy fusion but the two decors didn’t match. Emma’s was like black with roses and not like fun Victorian gothic a la Phantom of the Opera but like just ugly and dour. Liv’s was just like gold tones, which I think looked prettier but it wasn’t trendy fusion and futhermore WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Romantic minimal yeah I get that but Trendy Fusion? Fusion with what? Do you have  like mason jars with like Indian wedding deatils mixed with Cherry Blossoms? I’m so confused. Everything about Liv’s wedding SCREAMS traditional and not at all trendy or Fusion.

Their wedding looked like shit and they played $350 plus taxes per person for that venue. Gah F this movie its ear.

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) in their wedding gowns Bride Wars picture image

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) in their wedding gowns

Then we have the gowns. Both were designed by Vera Wang. Ok, first this movie makes the claim that Vera Wang gowns are so wonderful, that you don’t alter the gown you alter yourself to fit the gown. First this was supposed to be for giggles and a Liv’s gained 5 pound pay-off but so the fuck-of-sake that is the just elisted bullshit that Vera Wang herself said was dumb, and this shit was giving her free adverstiment but really she doesn’t need it. So f-you short girls, you better figure out how to grow seven inches so you can fit into this overpriced gown, may be you could stench yourself.

But the gown themselves, Liv’s tulle ballgown was overrated. It’s pretty standard as wedding dresses go. I mean there is nothing really to it other than sheer volume. Emma’s wedding gown is much better BUT in the context of the story it was her mother’s wedding gown which means now I have to do MATH, I so hate this movie. So let’s just say Emma is roughly late twenty to early thirties and for this let’s just say she is 28 given the college being ten years ago lines, This would mean that she was born roughly early 80s‘ about 1981 or 1982. This means her parents could have been married anywhere from 80 to sometime in the 70s and let’s me just say, NO WEDDING GOWN FROM THAT TIME LOOKED LIKE EMMA’S FUCKING WEDDING GOWN YOU DUMB FUCKS! Just google pictures. Good GOD, really I can’t like Emma’s gown on a contextual level and I don’t like Liv’s gown on a personal level.

 

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) after bride bitch fight Bride Wars picture image

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) after bride bitch fight

Bride Wars sucks as it just elitist bullshit about two horrible women doing terrible things to their best friend because f-you my wedding day.

Elicia MacKenzie as Fleur de Lys & Yvan Pedneault as Phobus, World Tour Cast Notre Dame de Paris, Crocus City picture image

Elicia MacKenzie as Fleur de Lys & Yvan Pedneault as Phobus, World Tour Cast Notre Dame de Paris, Crocus City

The other lady in Hunchback is Fleur de Lys. She is a beautiful noble who is engaged to Phoebus. Typically when she is featured in adaptations she is depicted as blonde and mostly seen in blue, at least in the 1956 and 1977 movies. The version where is has the most characterization is in Notre Dame de Paris where she wears pink.

Rhea Two by Rosa Clara picture image

Rhea Two by Rosa Clara

 

Unlike Esmeralda, Fleur de Lys’ style is a little bit harder to pin down. But given her noble, proper upbringing I would suggest keeping to classic style that is  prim and regal.

Casablanca Bridal picture image

Casablanca Bridal

Nothing says Classic wedding gown like an A-line silhoutte.

Belle by Jenny Packham picture image

Belle by Jenny Packham

Go for Sleeves.

Demetrios Sensualle picture image

Demetrios Sensualle

Illusion neckline fits Fleur de Lys, noble demeanor.

Oscar de la Renta picture image

Oscar de la Renta

Nothing could be better for a Fleur de Lys inpired Gown than Lovley Lace.

Vera Wang, Fall 2014 picture image

Vera Wang, Fall 2014

And if you want and are daring enough, make it Pink! Or Pink details. I admit it, I like Notre Dame de Paris.

You can also add Lily accessories.

Pictures are from Bride.com, thehunchblog is not affiliated.