Episode 14: The Girl in the Tower

Rose Reynolds as Alice & Tiera Skovbye as Robin Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 14 The Girl in the Tower picture image

Rose Reynolds as Alice & Tiera Skovbye as Robin Hood

Let’s get the stupid nitpick of this episode out of the way; The Death Card in a tarot card reading does not mean literal death. Granted the meaning of cards can be fluid but still.

Otherwise this was a pretty great episode. Alice/Tilly has been a highlight of this season so seeing an episode center around her is great.  

The past section revolves around how she got out of the tower and her how her Robin meet/bond. The relationship between Robin and Alice is an apology for how the show has handle Lesbian pairings before. Mulan was in love with Aurora and then she teamed up with Red only to have Red fall for Dorothy in one episode. It was unearned. Here with Alice and Robin it was set up prior. Both Alice and Robin bond and grow from each other so it more than just a physical attraction on the onset.  They feel more natural than the Red/Dorothy pairing. Still wish Mulan had found love.

The present section dealt with Tilly trying to come with an alibi. Which she does in the form of the troll statue which had a camera in it. The Troll is also the magic Alice conjured to get out her Tower.     

The B-plot was Regina/Lucy mission stuff with Dr.Facilier. His goal is to get the Dark one dagger. Regina and Facilier’s dynamic continues to be interesting.  

Good episode all around. The second half of this season better than the first.  

 

Episode 15: Sisterhood  

Adelaide Kane as Drizella & Yael Yurman as Anastasia Season 7 Episode 15 Sisterhood picture image

Adelaide Kane as Drizella & Yael Yurman as Anastasia

I will miss Drizella. This episode wasn’t bad, it moved things along in the ultimate direction. The main focus of this episode was on Druzilla and her relationship with Anastasia.

The past section involves  Drizella’s test to join the coven in which she and Gretel  bond but she is forced to kill her because there can only be one. Druzilla didn’t want to and this plays in the present where Druzilla is posed to kill Anastacia to charge up a magic bean. It was all a ploy by Faclier tio get some magic for Regina and in the end the two sister’s return to the A.E.F.

So in the present we learn the identity of the murder who is going after the coven members. Turns out it was Hansel a.k.a Nick a.k.a Lucy’s fake dad a.k.a Henry’s B.F.F. At least he has a motive. Gretel said that Hansel was changed by the experience of the child eating witch AND Gretel was murder because of the coven however how did he wake up? Or is operating under subconsciousness, like he knows to go after these women but he doesn’t.

Anyway it was fine episode, it’s a shame than Ivy’s part is done  yet Jacinda’s and Henry awkward relationship continue but it was as bad in this episode as it has been in other episodes.

Episode 21: Last Rites

Sean Maguire as Robin & Lana Parrilla as Regina Once Upon a Time Season 5 Episode 21 Last Rites review picture image

Sean Maguire as Robin & Lana Parrilla as Regina

Ok, so Hades’ plan this whole time and the real reason he gave up on the time travel thing to switch places with his brother and focused on Zelena was because Zeus broke the Olympian Crystal and Hades couldn’t repair it with his heart stopped in addition to not being able to leave the underworld. Also it seems like Hades wants it all, Storybrooke, Olympus, no-calorie cookies and power. Now the Olympian Crystal is the only thing that can kill or end a god. This the same plot device the show uses a lot towards the end of each arc, some magic thing that either saves everyone or doom everyone, like season 2 it was that fail-safe trigger, or is season 4 with that necklace. Or how a cut from Excalibur just murders you.

Trouble is Hades he can, like everyone else, can snap a person’s neck with magic, so why not just do that? He did it with Arthur. Why really do you need the trouble of forging your only murder weapon, even if they do-gooder don’t know about it? Why bother?

Except Arthur and Hook found the pages about Hades and the crystal and they put in the book and TA-DAnce, pages in the Storybrooke version for Emma to see. But it is Zelena who kills Hades after he obliterates Robin’s being and lies about this schemes. Hades did love Zelena though he just fell victim to being a villain and wanting to have it all. Power, love, family, power, a kingdom to rule, power and more power. He didn’t explicitly say it but he probably wanted to kill Zeus with the crystal. Anway Zeus restores Hook to life because he was a good boy. So Hook stayed officially dead for like one episode. Arthur is cool with being in the underworld since he now knows Camelot wasn’t the kingdom that he was prophesied to repair, it was UnderBrooke. Looks like Cruella is going to have some opposition.

It does suck that Robin’s existence has been wiped out, like his soul is gone. It was a noble sacrifice for Regina. It might have been sadder if he wasn’t being such a douche about his daughter, how Zelena was dangerous and how Regina shouldn’t trust Zelena.

This conclusion to the arc felt very underwhelming. Robin’s death is only going to cause more drama for Regina because this show loves its drama. Girl can’t be happy because that’s not dramatic.

All in all this was an arc of cameos and call backs.

Episode 22: Only You

Jared S. Gilmore as Henry & Olivia Steele Falconer as Violet Once Upon a Time Season 5 Episode 22 Only You review picture image

Jared S. Gilmore as Henry & Olivia Steele Falconer as Violet

Remember in season 2 when Henry tried to destroy magic? Well he’s at again though with more teenaged angst. He thinks magic is the root cause of all the suffering in Storybrooke expect Storybrooke is made of magic so when Rumple steals a piece of that Olympian Crystal and tethers Storybrooke’s magic to it after Belle’s father refuses to wake her, Henry using his author powers steals the crystal and goes to New York to destroy it and Violet goes with him. At a library they find other Once Upon a Time books like one has Don Quixote and Paul Bunyan, not sure why they are in the same book. Violet also sees a “twin” of the Holy Grail which they conclude can destroy magic. Why is it in the Mid-town library? Rumple however shows up and takes the Crystal before Emma and Regina can get there.

Regina is once again go through the fine line of being good and suffering and following her impulse and be evil which means she would lose everything and everyone. This was an emotionally charged scene and the best of the episode.

Speaking of the balance of good and evil we have Jekyll and Hyde now. Because of the impending Doom, there is an evacuation of Storybrooke. Before Zelena can close the portal it goes crazy and her, Snow, David and Hook are pulled to somewhere. With the wand broken they captured and are the prisoners of Mr.Hyde. Hyde is not a fan of the Dark one. Jekyll repairs the wand but is caught and Hyde allows the plan to continue as he wants everyone in the steampunk zepplin land to go to Storybrooke too. Hyde also steals Belle in pandora’s box from Rumple. Rumple actually picks to save the power object over his love. Classic Rumple. Don’t feel bad for him. Hyde does this for leverage.

Here’s a thought, couldn’t Henry, as the author, just write that everyone loses their magic? Then no more magic. Or is that not dramatic enough? He just uses his author power to steal the magic but not remove it from people.

This episode is more of the same just upcycled. We have seen Regina’s struggling with her darker self and now there the Jekyll and Hyde plot. Henry wants to destroys magic again, people trapped in a weird land again. Rumple wants power for love but choice power again. This episode reverts to it’s old patterns and just repackages it. Characters don’t get arcs they grow a little bit and then a setback happens and people accuse them of following back to their old patterns, just like the show. That maybe how real life goes but it’s not interesting in a show about how gray fairy tale characters are and redemption arcs.

This episode is serviceable as the first part of the two part finale. On a plus side the violin music at the end was amazing. It had a Phantom of the Opera vibe. Do Phantom of the Opera Once Upon a Time. Or Hunchback. I don’t really want to think those curiosity were a weird Hunchback reference, I’d rather be reading too much in their extra choices.

Episode 23: An Untold Story

The Land of Untold Stories Once Upon a Time Season 5 Episode 23 An Untold Story review picture image

The Land of Untold Stories

This episode is the 2nd part of the finale. Zelena, Snow, Hook and David find out the identity of the Good Gardener/Doctor and the Warden and they try and flee Mr.Hyde who has been separated from Jekyll. Turns out they are in the Land of Untold Stories which is full of Outcasts, show’s own words, so high hopes for Hunchback. To be fair yet another extra looks like Esmeralda.

Meanwhile, Henry successfully destroys the magic of Storybrooke with the Dark Grail only to find out that most of his Family is trapped in another realm. They meet the Dragon, who isn’t dead and he tells them that magic is everywhere. They go a fountain and make wished which charges the crystal but it’s not enough. Henry makes speech about magic and belief which is enough to restore the crystal and open a portal which brings back Zelena, Snow, Hook and David along with Jekyll. Rumple slips through the portal to save Belle. The New Yorkers then think it was a act. Regina then uses Jekyll’s serum to remove the Evil Queen and crushes her heart. However Evil Queen isn’t dead, she on the war path for the next season.

Rumple and Hyde come to some deal and Rumple gives Hyde Storybrooke and Rumple gets intel on saving Belle. Hyde brings all the untold story people to Storybrooke for next season shenanigans

Also Violet’s dad was from the Twain’s story, A Yankee in King Arthur’s Court. Funny didn’t he chastised Henry for not being a knight. But they did say his name was Sir Morgan so might have been planned that way.

This episode has the flaws of the last episode but it have lot more set-up for next season with three plot threads, Regina versus Evil Queen in the flesh, no subtle internal struggle anymore, the show will eats its cake dammit, The Untold Stories featuring Hyde and Jekyll, and Rumple saving Belle which more than likely will get wrapped up quickly but it’s still a plot thread.

Henry flip-flopping on magic was annoying and his speech was awkward.

There was a heavy-handed foreshadowing when Emma tells Hook she loves him without being in peril there is a wedding gown positioned in between them in the background. What could happen next season???

So on to next season. Will there be Hunchback? Feel like I would have heard if there was by now since the season has ended. That extra might be it but she looks more like Esmeralda than the underworld waitress. Do you guys think that is Esmeralda?

Another Curious Extra or maybe Esmeralda Once Upon a Time Season 5 Episode 23 An Untold Story review picture image

Another Curious Extra or maybe Esmeralda

 

 

Episode 11: Swan Song

Colin O'Donoghue as Captain Hook with Caroline Ford as Nimue & Dark Ones Once Upon a Time Season 5 Episode 11 Swan Song review picture image

Colin O’Donoghue as Captain Hook with Caroline Ford as Nimue & Dark Ones

Must be fun to be extra playing a Dark One. I swear though one of the Dark One’s capes has the same fabric they used with Kylo Ren in The Force Awakens. What is a group of Dark Ones called? A Gaggle? A Constitution? An Unpleasantness ? A Murder? A Darkness?

Still not sure how the Dark Ones are really coming back other than they are a Vista from Hell or the Underworld and need the souls of the living for the exchange. Does seem like there were more Dark Ones than Storybrooke sacrificial lambs.

The plan of the Dark One does seem odd. Why would a Dark One want more Dark Ones around? Just to “snuff out the light?” And then what? Dark Ones are going to terrorize Storybrooke and compete for whose the Darkest? Doesn’t matter because Hook comes to his senses and sacrifices himself to put out the Darkness except he doesn’t because Rumple pulled out a double-cross and used the sword as conduit to be the Dark One again. Only this time he has all the powers of the Dark Ones. But wasn’t that the point, all Dark Ones are connected to the other Dark Ones. Didn’t the repeatedly say the pervious Dark Ones are inside the mind of the Dark One? Or do the Dark Ones communicate even though they are in the Underwood? It doesn’t make much sense and the murkiness of the explanations and the revelation doesn’t help, point is Rumple once again lost his redemptive arc and went with power. This show is a cock tease with Rumple’s character development.

Then there is Hook who in the past section meets his father who abandoned him and his brother and sold them. Then Hook’s dad was put under a sleep curse, met a girl while asleep, fell in love, got that kiss, married her and had another son. I guess this lady who died before we could meet her, I bet her name was named Adelaide and loved vegetables. Comment if you get that reference.

Anyway Hook meeting his dad was a test by Regina so Hook could kill Cora and go to Land without Magic to get his revenge on Rumple. He was going to spare his dad but killed him after he learned his new son is named Liam. So if he had a girl it would have been different? Actually Hook is mad about the abandonment and figures he hasn’t changed. Funny, that Hook never bonded with Emma about being orphans. Did anyway in this show NOT have a tragic childhood?

Hook’s redemption felt really rushed. So the drama of his sacrifice didn’t have enough impact.

Anyway it’s off to the Underworld with everyone to save Hook. Also we see that Nonchalant Duck again. That Duck and that Dove from season three should get more screentime.

 

Episode 12: Souls of the Departed

The Heroes in the Underworld Once Upon a Time Season 5 Episode 12-Souls of the Departed review picture image

The Heroes in the Underworld

Hey this is the 100th episode! And Welcome to Season 5 Arc 2 a.k.a Hell of Color-Correction. The Underworld looks like a dilapidated StoryBrooke with an ultra red tone.

So far this is the arc of dead character cameos as we see the Blind Witch from Season 1, Cruella drove by, Peter Pan, James and Henry(Regina’s dad) and Cora. Also Neal, who isn’t in the Underworld. Who knows who else will see again? Do the creepy marionettes that were Geppetto’s parents count as a cameo?

This episode focuses mainly on Regina’s parents Henry and Cora. Cora has set-up some plan to get Regina out of the Underworld but Henry begs her to stay to bring hope and help her friends. Cora tries to sent Henry to I guess even worse Hell but in the end he is set to Paradise, not sure what it is but it seems nice. Henry going to his reward was a nice emotional scene.

The backstory did answer a weird element from season 1, how Henry got trapped in Wonderland. Nice to get an answer, wondered if anyway was wondering how that happen.

A new character we meet is Hades. Not a fan. He looks like an asshole and whispers nearly all his lines. Maybe he will get better. Curious about the other character from Hercules. Like is the girl giving Hades a pedicure Megara? Could make sense.

Not a bad episode, had good moments with Henry and Regina but it’s the arc opener so there isn’t much going on yet aside from meeting Hades, the Crew’s quest to save Hook and help the Underworld people move on. I hate the Hades Blue Flame effect.

 

Episode 17: Best Laid Plans

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White & Josh Dallas as David Once Upon a Time Season 04 Episode17 Best Laid Plans picture image

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White & Josh Dallas as David

“Best Laid Plans,” like Maleficent laid an egg, real punny. Let me get this straight, Rumple’s plan is to get the author to make Emma’s heart dark so that villains can get their happy endings but her do-gooder parents swapped her darkness with Maleficent’s baby who they just assumed was a dragon for no real reason and they did this even though they were told by by the apprentice that everyone starts out as a tabula rasa (blank slate) so there is technically no darkness getting transferred but only the potential of darkness from Emma to Maleficent’s baby who is Lily, Emma’s childhood friend, and the only thing this spell did was sending Lily, Ursula and Cruella to the land sans magic but turns out that everyone was being manipulated by the author who had gone rouge and was creating drama, Did I get all that? But what I really want to know is how Ursula and Cruella didn’t age in thirty years? Bit of a plot hole there. Maybe New York is good for the skin.

This episode really does make Snow and David look really bad. They know what they did was wrong but they still throw around the word heros and villains so casually, I mean Maleficent is far and away more sympathetic. Emma being all whiny about her parents lying to her, this lair revealed story is as old a time and super boring.

Not sure how to feel about this episode, since you could just write David and Snow off because they were being manipulated but some sketchy dude. Plus Maleficent was great in this episode. The twist of the who the author was and him taking off running was good, really he seems like a douche. I just wish everyone wasn’t being so whiny, Maleficent is the only one right now who has a good excuse. Also that line about Walt being a great storyteller, way to stroke your ego Disney.

This episode does remind me of 30 Rock quote “Sometimes you gotta do the right thing even when the wrong thing is a whole lot easier… Die, werewolf-zombie”

Episode 18: Heart of Gold

Rebecca Madder as Zelena and Sean Maguire as Robin Hood Once Upon a Time Season 04 Episode 18 Heart of Gold picture image

Rebecca Madder as Zelena and Sean Maguire as Robin Hood

Oh yay…. Zelena’s back! Goody… In a way this feels like some ploy but Zelena is good for shaking things up and I do like her brand of evil so I’m not so against on this turn of events. What I am against is a Robin Hood focused episode, he is boring. He’s better as support character.

This episode is all flashback since it focus is 9 weeks in the past and how Robin went from former thief to bartender to nobel thief and all he had to do was steal something for Rumple that now needs in New York to mend his heart which is steeped in darkness. So the Dark One has some weird time limit now?

Another question I have is Why would Robin go to freaking New York City? Have these people never heard of Portland Maine? Boston exists and so do a LOT of other places between Maine and New York City. Is it because Neal’s place is available? Did Neal keep up the rent while he was in Neverland or in the Enchanted Forest or dead? You know a year has passed or did he own the place? There is also Emma’s apartment. Did she get out her lease? Or did she own? I mean Manhattan Real Estate .

The ending with Zelena posing as Marian made up for the otherwise boring episode and actually Zelena killing Marian and taking her form corrected the time paradox. Marian was meant to die and she did. Though I bet if you rewatch beginning of season 4 with the Frozen characters, she was playing the role of Marian really well and no could have see the twist till this episode. It’s like the planned it after Marian came back from the dead.

On a Different note, Christie Laing (Marian) was on season 1 of UnReal, which I just marathoned. That show is bloody addictive and full of horrible people. Also she was in Tucker and Dale Vs Evil which is the most romantic movie ever. It’s a parody of slasher movies, which I typically hate but that movie is great. I highly recommend it.

 

All through it seem like Disney exhausted its collection of movies to make its crappy sequels, some movies were spared by some miracle. But speculation is fun and here are the sequels that could have been but never were, Thank Goodness. These lame plots are made up by me. Note they pretty much stop making these in 2008 so movies after that are not considered even though Disney made a Tangled sequel and there is talk of a Frozen is getting a sequel @@.

Snow White II – Three stories involving the dwarves and Castle etiquette.

Pinocchio II; The Curse of The Red Fairy – Pinocchio has to be come wooden again to save Geppeto from the Blue Fairy’s crazy sister, the Red Fairy. The whale gets a cameo

Dumbo II – Dumbo has to fly to save world from the Pink Elephants that have been made real by the Ringmaster  and his evil new Genie friend.

Alice in Wonderland II; Return to Wonderland. I suppose they could just do Alice  through the Looking Glass but here is a lamer idea. Alice’s daughter does the same thing but with more annoying characters.  I do not  accept the Burton version.

Sleeping Beauty II –  Maleficent’s  raven  becomes human and  kidnaps  Prince Phillip and puts him sleep and Aurora has to become  kick ass and save him. The Fairies can give her like a training montage.

The Sword and the Stone II –  Seriously, They had all the Arthurian legends and they didn’t pick one.  But let’s go with the lamest story ever, Arthur meets a girl and Merlin is bummed that Arthur doesn’t have time for him.

The Aristocats II – The Kittens form a band with Tom’s help but the dump him for a sassy manager.

Robin Hood II – Prequel about how everyone met or something.

The Black Cauldron II – Though Disney pretends this doesn’t exist it does have sequels.  It’s from  a series called The Chronicles of Prydain.  Just do the story from the third book and ruin it because it a Disney sequel, so Taran moves in to Eilonwy’s castle and doesn’t fit in, hi-jinx encase.

The Great Mouse Detective II  – Again more stories from the source material.  Let just take the high road (giggle sequels and the high road) just use Mlle. Relda, the story’s Irene Adler counterpart, so Basil gets a girlfriend. Maybe he has to fight someone for her, love triangle they are cliche.

Oliver & Company II – Oliver’s son goes off into New York City to be a street cat because rules and family are super lame.

Hercules II – Again more stuff of Hercules but lame sequel story, Hercules and Meg have to save Thebes from same monster  sent by Circe, maybe a lion so I can make Game of Throne jokes. I will note that Hercules was shameless abused for money as it did have  a midquel TV show. It even had a crossover with Aladdin.  I saw the crossover episode and no more.

Treasure Planet  II – They find more treasure? Didn’t see this one

Home of the Range II – Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm more farm hi-jinx? Three short story structure because it’s lazy and easier. I didn’t see this one either.

 

Still nothing is lamer than Quasimodo getting a girlfriend with that Bell @@. Do you have any sequel/midquel/prequel ideas for the Disney movies that were spared the sequel treatment?

Who among us hasn’t watched a particular “Hunchback” scene and thought, “This is good, but it would be better with some cats? “- AnaykhOntheDoor

This got me thinking. Yeah, Hellfire is awesome but it could use a few cats.

 

Hellfire made even better with Cats, hunchback of Notre Dame disney

Hellfire made even better with Cats

There! Purrrr-fect

List of the Cats;

Prince John – Robin Hood
Nala & Simba- The Lion King
Oliver – Oliver and Company
Dinah & the Cheshire Cat- Alice in Wonderland
Sgt Tibbs – 101 Dalmatians
Tigger – Winnie the Pooh
Bagheera & Shere Khan – The Jungle Book
Lucifer – Cinderella
Duchess, Tom O’Malley, Marie,Berlioz and Toulouse – The Aristocats
Rufus – The Rescuers
Si & Am – Lady and the Tramp
Figaro- Pinocchio
Rajah- Aladdin

(masking whiskers is hell)

 

Richard Armitage picture image

Richard Armitage

As a possible movie (or mini-series) Frollo I would suggest Richard Armitage for the role. While Armiatge is younger and more attractive than Frollo is meant to be, he has a talent for playing brooding and complex characters.

Richard Armitage as John Thornton from the BBC of North & South picture image

Richard Armitage as John Thornton from the BBC of North & South

Armitage’s biggest roles have been playing John Thornton in the 2004 BBC version of North & South (which is one the best period pieces I ever seen), Guy of Gisborne in the BBC version of Robin Hood (which was a fun series), and he playing Thorin Oakenshield in the upcoming The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and The Hobbit: There and Back Again.

Richard Armitage as Guy of Gisborne from the BBC version of Robin Hood picture image

Richard Armitage as Guy of Gisborne from the BBC version of Robin Hood

Armitage is a very versatile actor. I think he pull off the descent into insanity very effectively. I know Armitage could give Frollo the complexity he has in the book but is lacking from other film versions.

Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield from The Hobbit picture image

Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield from The Hobbit

As for his looks, yeah Armitage would be a handsomer and younger Frollo but his looks work with the character. He is tall and lean which would enhance Frollo’s austere look. With the right costume and make-up he could be made up to look like the ideal Frollo.

Richard Armitage picture image

Richard Armitage

Tell me what do you think. Do you like Richard Armitage would make a good Frollo or do someone else is the perfect Frollo?

Bonus – Armitage was also in Captain America as Heinz Kruger and in Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace as Naboo Fighter Pilot (he was uncredited)

Richard Armitage as Heinz Kruger in Captain America picture image

Richard Armitage as Heinz Kruger in Captain America

Richard Armitage as a Naboo Fighter Pilot with Natalie Portman as Padme Amidala Star Wars; The Phantom Menace Episode I Picture image

Richard Armitage as a Naboo Fighter Pilot Star Wars; The Phantom Menace