Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas picture image

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas

Guess what? We have another Dreamworks film! This time it’s the 2003 movie Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas. Bless this little movie’s heart, in same ways it wants to try but it feel very half-hearted.

Sinbad and Eris Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas picture image

Sinbad and Eris

A pirate name Sinbad wants to steal this treasure called the Book of Peace, really movie that is the best name you could think up? He wants it so he retire to Fiji. So Sinbad attack the ship the book in on, on its way to Syracuse. As he attacks, the Goddess of Discourse Eris sends Cetus, sea monster as she wants the book too. Sinbad sees that the Book is guarded by his childhood pal, Proteus, the Prince of Syracuse. Cetus attacks and Sinbad and Proteus fight it and Sinbad leaves without the book but he gets knock off into the sea and mets Eris.

Eris tells Sinbad to get the book for her and she will give him riches. Sinbad makes his way to Syracuse but abandons the plan when he sees Proteus‘ fiancee Marina. Eris however disguise herself as Sinbad and steal the book. Sinbad is arrested and claims Eris did it. Proteus defend his pal offers himself in Sinabd place. Sinbad is told to go to Tartarus, Eris’s realm to get the book back in ten days or Proteus will be executed. Sinbad agrees buy decides to head to Fiji.

However Marina, Proteus‘ sea loving gal sneaks on the ship and pays Sinbad to go Tartaus. They get into a few scrapes from Eris like Sirens and the Roc and Sinbad and Marina go from disliking each other to love. Sinbad also tells her the the reason he left Syracuse ten year prior to the movie is because he feel in love with her but she was promised to Proteus.

So they make it to Tartarus and Eris reveals her whole plan, that she knew Proteus would sacrifice himself to Sinbad and that Sinbad would be a jerk and not return if he could get the book which would leave Syracuse in chaos without an heir, Eris makes Sinbad a deal that if Sinbad truthfully tells whether he will return to Syracuse to accept blame and be executed she will surrender the book. Sinbad say he will but she calls him a liar. However as Protues is about he be beheaded Sinbad shows up accepts his death. But then Eris shows up and gives back the book because when gods makes a promise they have to keep it. So everyone is happy and Proteus gives up Marina and she and Sinbad hit the open sea together the end.

Sinbad and Proteus Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas picture image

Sinbad and Proteus

Let’s just tackle the BIG issue with this movie. Sinbad is Persian in origins not Ancient Greek. This movie have nothing to do with Sinbad or any legends of the seven seas. Sinbad was just used in the title for name recognition. Hey, if you want to tell a Sinbad story great, do it but this isn’t one. And hey, if you want to tell the story of Ancient Greek Pirates who have to deal with evil scheming Godess, fantastic that is great but don’t use Sinbad’s name, use one of the Ancient Greek Pirates, or make something up. I suppose Sinbad could be Persian since he only mentioned he lived in Syracuse at only point in his life and he said nothing about where he was born, so the film could have mitigated Sinbad’s origins and the style but they didn’t so it an issue.

Also this films get some other things wrong, like Fiji. I’m going out on a limb here, Fiji wasn’t known to the Ancient Greeks. Maybe I’m wrong but Ancient Greeks Shipping routes kept to the Mediterranean and Fiji is in the South Pacific. I get that Sinbad is explorer and goes everywhere but it’s just on those things that takes you out of the movie, like Sinbad using the word Sushi. Since I’m being am nitpicking for fun, Sushi’s origins in Japan can be traced to 8th century.

Also while I’m on a nitpicking spree, Tartarus wasn’t Eris‘ hangout it was used a dungeon of torment and the prison for the Titans. Anyway now let’s just talk about the film proper.

Sinbad and Marina Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas picture image

Sinbad and Marina

Sinbad is a Small Big movie. It has adventure but aside from some minor character development it doesn’t mean to much too in the ending . Also when it comes down to it the resolution is handle very quickly. It’s a small story told like it’s a big sweeping epic when it’s not. If it wasn’t for Eris padding out the movie the adventure part , which is the selling point, wouldn’t have happened.

Also this movie took it’s conclusion from Hercules where the Gods keeps their word but the humans don’t.

Sinbad and Marina Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas picture image

Sinbad and Marina

Then we have our characters. Sinbad is a rouge al la 1940’s Pirate movies. Really he is fine, sort of snarky but he’s fine . Proteus is nice I guess, he does have much of a character outside proper gentlemen who can fight type. Marina is feisty but that is all I can really say about her. The dog is fun.

But really the only character I liked was Eris, who is just this femme fatal type but I think part of her charm is her animation.

Sinbad and a CG Siren Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas picture image

Sinbad and a CG Siren

The animation is odd. It’s a combination of Hand drawn characters with CG everything else. For the background it was fine for the most part but the monsters looked bad and sometimes the characters against the CG backgrounds looked awkward. The only time it worked was with Eris and that is because they kept her otherworldly and in dark so the contrast wasn’t as strong and meld better.

Also the sirens looked Way better than Cetus, that island thing, Roc and Tartarus.

That being said why don’t the character wear Grecian clothes? Again just takes me out of the movie. Like Eris in a chiton could have had really animation. I’m not sure what the rest of character are wearing though it looks vaguely Arabic expect the movie clearly has that Greek setting. It’s weird unless they were supposed to be in lost in execution?

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas picture image


Despite it’s weird decisions Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas is just a okay but boring movie. It just feels like it was giving about 50%.

So Marina’s name means the Sea and Sinbad loves Marina which means he loves the sea. Ha, so clever, It’s just like The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, muir also means sea in Old Irish.

shrek picture image


Shrek a is Dreamworks 2001 CG movie. It was based off of a 1990 picture book by William Steig of the same name. Shrek is one of those seminal Non-Disney Princess movies and by that I just mean that it’s popular, like really popular. But just because something is popular does that make it good?

shrek, Donkey and Fiona shrek picture image

Shrek, Donkey and Fiona

Shrek is about a misanthrope Ogre who gets his swamp home invaded by Fairy-Tale creatures as Lord Farquaad wants the perfect kingdom and Fairy-tale creatures offend his senses or something. Lord Farquaad is trying to become king so he has to marry a princess, and he picks Princess Fiona who needs to be recused from a pretty dragon.

Shrek and a talking Donkey go to Lord Farquaad’s kingdom and Farquaad tells him if he recuse the Princess he will return the Swamp back to normal sans the enchanted little creatures. So Shrek and Donkey embark on a quest and save Fiona from the girly dragon.

Fiona at first isn’t happy that Fairy-tale logic wasn’t followed as her groom-to-be didn’t save her himself but on journey home Shrek and Fiona form an attachment. Fiona is also cursed as she turns into an ogre by night and only a kiss from her true love can break the spell. However Shrek over hears her and donkey talking about how she is ugly and hideous and he misconstrues it that they are talking about him and not her. Shrek is hurt and hasten Farquaad to them as they right outside the kingdom. Fiona is desperate to break her curse so her wants the wedding before sunset. Shrek and Fiona then part mad and sad about the misunderstanding. However Donkey convinces Shrek to break up the wedding and Fiona reveals her curse and when she and Shrek kiss she permanently becomes an ogre.

Shrek and Donkey's souvenir photo  shrek picture image

Shrek and Donkey’s souvenir photo

Shrek’s narrative is very simple, it’s a fun buddy journey story. Nothing really grand happens but that is not the point. It’s meant to a parody of Disney/fairytales. As far as that goes, Shrek wasn’t the first to this but there so much bile on the front maligning Disney. The first rule of parody is you have to love was you’re parodying and they clearly did not. Does that hurt the movie? Not really as it only is certain points in the film it’s still enjoyable. Shrek has some silly moments but the pacing is slow at points and some of the character are lacking.

Lord Farquaad and the magic mirror shrek picture image

Lord Farquaad and the magic mirror

First there is Shrek. Shrek is a big uncouth ogre or that how he appears and how he wants to be thought of. He makes the point that ogres have layers but the most revealing thing about him is that he is something of a culinarian. He also nice and sensitive but that is invention of the plot to add to the romance and drama. Donkey is annoying which is his point. Really the side characters are better and more likable. Lord Farquaad is hilarious with his Napoleon Complex although what is his deal? Is he a regent? How does marrying a random princess give him legitimacy? Gingy was my favorite characters and he was just in one scene but that was enough, and really it’s the sequel that give the cool side character more to do.

Fiona kicking  ass shrek picture image

Fiona kicking ass

Then we have the princess, Fiona. Fiona is a proper late 90’s early 2000’s princess gal, she is pretty and kick-ass. Her being no-nonsense and ass kicking seems to stems off from her ogre persona. She also an odd blend of romantic and practical which is refreshing. I have no issues with Fiona.

I suppose the only issue I could have is that she only accepts her ogre form when she deems attractive by a male. But the point of it was that beauty is in eye of the beholder and having an unconventional beauty as the princess is the point to Fiona’s curse as story piece.

Monsieur Hood singing  shrek picture image

Monsieur Hood singing

I have been down on CG’s animation movies in the past and while I prefer hand-drawn stuff, I like Shrek’s animations. It’s nice cartoony and warm.

The music uses preexisting songs but they are handled fine though I love that enchanting leitmotif which is used at the beginning and what Fiona sings when she accidentally blew up that bird. Also the Robin hood song was silly.

shrek picture image


Shrek is a fun and silly movie that pokes fun at fairytales/Disney tropes. Is it bad? No, it’s fine but I like the second one better.

I just want to plug The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales, it was my favorite book as kid and parodies fairytales so  devilishly delightfully.

Joseph: King of Dreams picture image

Joseph: King of Dreams

Joseph: King of Dreams is 2000 DreamWorks movie that have the distinction of being the first and only direct-to-video release from DreamWorks Animation. It was meant as a companion piece to the Prince of Egypt. As direct to video movie the quality was much lower but just because the songs and animation are not as good as theatrical release it doesn’t mean the movie can’t be good, I mean it seemed like the crew working on it tried but is it good? Not really.

Joseph and his brothers Joseph: King of Dreams picture image

Joseph and his brothers

The story is Joseph is a miracle baby as he was born from a baron lady. His father treats him special which makes his half-brothers all butt-hurt. Joseph then starts getting prophetic dreams, one about the ram getting killed and another that says he will be elated above his brothers. His big brothers don’t like that dream one little bit and sell him as slave which is proper reaction to their problem.

Joseph is brought to Egypt where he works as slave in the some dignitary’s house. He does well and meets the niece of his master, Asenath. He gets arrested when he doesn’t let his master’s wife have her way with him and he gets accused of trying to rape the wife.

In jail Joseph interprets the dreams of two prisoners, one’s dreams say he will be released and the other tells him that he will be executed. While Joseph is in prison, Asenath sneaks him food. Joseph while mad that god seems have turned away from him tries to remain positive.

After a while, the Pharaoh summons Joseph to him as Pharaoh has been having a dream that his priests can’t interpret. Joseph tells him that Egypt will enjoy prosperity but then a famine will come that could destroy Egypt. Joseph tells him that they should conserve grain while there is plenty and during the famine they will ration it back to the people. Joseph is the made a minster and given the name Zaphnath-Paaneah. Joseph’s plan works and he marries Asenath and have kids.

During the famine, Joseph sees his brothers asking for grain which the are willing to buy. Joseph is mad at them that they should ask for food but they say they have families to feed including a younger brother. Joseph thinks they are lying and imprisons one of his brothers and demands they bring their younger brother to him. They bring Joseph’s younger brother Benjamin. Joseph invites them to dine with his and then plants a golden chalice in Benjamin grain. Joseph’s plan to expose his brothers a selfish cheats back fires when they offer themselves to save Benjamin as this father couldn’t take the disappearance of another son. The eldest brother admits to selling Joseph and Joseph reveal himself to his brothers and invites them and their families to live in Egypt. Joseph then reunites with his father. Happy ending.

Joseph and his coat Joseph: King of Dreams picture image

Joseph and his coat

There are a number of reasons I disliked this movie but the main reason is I really didn’t like Joseph as character. He is kind of perfect. The whole opening number is about how great he is and while he does suffer I don’t really think he grows as character. Even his suffering isn’t that bad, yeah he sold as a slave but he get’s nice digs. Yeah he is put in jail but he plants a tree and then he gets a really sweet position. His brothers were justified in being jealous of him, selling him was a dick move but up until that point Joseph was the favorite of his father.

This type of character may work in the Bible, though to be honest I have never read this story, but for a movie it’s kind of hard to get on his side. Prior to being arrested, he was supposed to be put to death, my first reaction was “yay”, it not a good thing if the audience doesn’t care for the titular character of a children’s animated movie.

Joseph and Asenath Joseph: King of Dreams picture image

Joseph and Asenath

The rest of the characters are bland. I know the brothers have names but really why bother, they don’t have individuals characterizations, they are a group, but they have more character growth than Joseph does. Asenath is nice and pretty a.k.a generic. Joseph’s father is misguided idealizing Joseph but I suppose it was God’s will so he could save Egypt. Joseph’s mother is nice. That is it. There are other characters but they’re generic too.

Joseph and one of his Brothers Joseph: King of Dreams picture image

Joseph and one of his Brothers

Speaking of characters another reason I dislike this movie is the character design, or rather the lack of it. The characters’ looks are all bland to the extreme. Really can you tell any one who isn’t Joseph apart oh wait I take that back because Benjamin looks exactly like him, though I suppose that is point since family and such. But everything is so generic and dull looking.

Joseph in his Van Gogh dream  Joseph: King of Dreams picture image

Joseph in his Van Gogh dream

The Animation is also bad. It looks so old. If you told me this movie made in 1992 I would believe it. Though oddly enough this movie gets praised on its animation mainly for the Van Gogh art design of Joseph’s dreams. I don’t want to like an elitist snob over here but impressionism is dream-like already, it’s not inspired choice for a dream in a movie. And consider this, Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams (beautiful movie) had a Van Gogh dream segment. I found the impressionism jarring against the ancient world style. They should made his dreams in the style of his coat, with cool moving gradients and golden tones. They could have done more. I will say that while I don’t like the idea of Van Gogh painting as the dreamscape, I will say the execution was fine, it looked nice. As far as the dreams go, I like the idea of Pharaoh dreams, it looked like something and Pharaoh could dream up based on the surroundings and not art movement from thousands years in the future.

Joseph in jail  you know better than i  Joseph: King of Dreams picture image

Joseph in jail

This movie had songs. Were they good? Nope, they were annoying.

Joseph being a slave Joseph: King of Dreams picture image

Joseph being a slave

Joseph: King of Dreams is full of dull songs, dull colors, dull characters. So it’s pretty dull all round, kudos.