This list was also REALLY hard to compile.

Number #10

Arete trying to escape Princess Arete picture image

Arete trying to escape

Princess Arete – While it had glacier slow pacing it did have some interesting ideas and a unique style. Did I really enjoy it? No but that is a personal opinion, it was still a better than most of the Non-Disney Princess movies I reviewed, which is kind of sad.

Number #9

Clara with the Nutcracker Prince The Nutcracker Prince picture image

Clara with the Nutcracker Prince

 

The Nutcracker Prince – I’m surprised I liked this movie but it did have solid narrative and interesting take on growing up, plus the music.

Number #8

Dmitri, Anya and Vlad Anastasia picture image

Dmitri, Anya and Vlad

Anastasia – I wanted to put this higher on the list but considering the history and Rasputin as a villain the 8th spot is perfect.

Number #7

Lady Amalthea a.k.a The Unicorn's Human Form The Last Unicorn picture image

Lady Amalthea a.k.a The Unicorn’s Human Form

 

The Last Unicorn – This was an ambitious story to tell. It has its flaws but it is a good identity piece.

Number #6

Nausicaa not wearing a mask in the Sea of Decay Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind picture image

Nausicaa not wearing a mask in the Sea of Decay

 

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind – Nausicaa is a solid entertaining movie. It has issues as it tries to do too much for one movie but it’s still highly enjoyable.

Number #5

Shrek meeting Fiona's parents Shrek 2 picture image

Shrek meeting Fiona’s parents

Shrek 1 and 2– Yeah it’s a tie. But Shrek is a keystone fairy-tale parodying movie(s) with great characters and heart, plus the 3D added to the movie and at no point was I like “Oh, this thing should have been hand-drawn. What the Fuck Hollywood.”

Number #4

San and Ashitaka Princess Mononoke picture image

San and Ashitaka

 

Princess Mononoke – This is a beautiful environmenal movie. It loses points for a rushed ending but it’s forgivable.

Number #3

Pazu and Sheeta seeing Laputa Castle in the Sky picture image

Pazu and Sheeta seeing Laputa

 

Castle in the Sky– Castle in the Sky is great adventure movie with great pacing, great characters and a satisfying ending. There is just such a great balance to this movie that seems rare in cinema.

Number #2

The Tale of the Princess Kaguya picture image

Kaguya

 

The Tale of the Princess Kaguya – Again, I debated whether or not to put this at number one because I really loved this movie and it has a unique style, fluid animation and a compelling story. However this movie does have a pacing problem in the middle. That being said it is a masterwork.

Number #1

Tzipporah, The Prince of Egypt picture image

Tzipporah,

The Prince of Egypt – My biggest criticism of this movie is that it was rushed in parts which meant I wanted more of it whereas Kaguya ultimately I wanted less and that is how it nudged the top spot.

The Prince of Egypt is a gorgeous movie. It’s big on style, dynamic angles and shots and great drama. There is no denying this movie is stunning.

It’s funny that the one of the best and the worst of the Non-Disney Princess were reviewed at the very end.

The next bunch of movies are going to be Live-Action Fairy Tale movies. I’m reviewing them in sort of random order, if you want make a recommendation for a movie you can because there is A LOT of them and I hope they don’t suck or at the very least not as painful to watch, though some will be, Kstew and the Thor, I’m looking at you.

The Top Ten Worst Non-Disney Princess Movies (that were reviewed.)

In someways this was harder than the Disney sequel worst list because on the whole, I found these movies far worst, like so much worst. Most of these movies were PAINFUL to sit through.

Number #10

Princess Camille, Flip, Nemo, Icarus, and Professor Genius Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland picture image

Princess Camille, Flip, Nemo, Icarus, and Professor Genius

Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland – At best you can say Little Nemo is average, at worst it’s an insipid annoying movie with bland characters, awkward animation and ditzy dialogue. It could have been so much more. Though it was all about pie and pies are yummy and mathematical.

Number #9

Daria and Rollo The Princess and the Pea picture image

Daria and Rollo

The Princess and the Pea – While I do admit to being charmed by this movie and enjoying it a bit, it still doesn’t change that it was dumb. The main character is hardly in it at cost of a side characters and a pea that turned out not to mean anything.

Number #8

Felix, Oriana, and Pim Felix the Cat the Movie picture image

Felix, Oriana, and Pim

Felix the Cat; The Movie – This is just a WEIRD movie. Should it lose points for being weird? No, I like weird but it’s also annoyingly stupid and the sound mixing made this movie so much worse.

Number #7

Princess Glory and Prince David Guillver's Travels picture image

Princess Glory and Prince David

Gulliver’s Travels – One word, Gabby. Gabby is still one of the single most annoying thing I have ever seen. Also the animation was jarring.

Number #6

Princess Yum-Yum and Tack The Thief And The Cobblerpicture image

Princess Yum-Yum and Tack

The Thief And The Cobbler – This should be lower on the list but you know what saves it? Richard Williams’ original animation. Otherwise it’s a just a train wreck. The filler animation is beyond haphazard, the songs make your ears bleed, and the characters are so weak they can’t lift a golf pencil.

Number #5

Tuptim The King and I Picture image

Tuptim

 

The King and I – This movie single-handedly made it so that the Roger and Hammerstein estate have a no-animated movie policy. Good job movie, your’s is a lameness unmatched.

Number #4

Gorbash, Peter Dickinson and Princess Milisande The Flight of Dragons picture image

Gorbash, Peter Dickinson and Princess Milisande

The Flight Of Dragons – While I do concede there was an interesting idea in this movie, it is F-ing beyond bad and boring. So many things are explained in way too much detail but more is not explain at all. How is that chick a princess? I always come back to this one as one of the worst and  it’s really hard to believe there are three worst than this but there are.

Number #3

Snow White and her Prince Happily Ever After picture image

Snow White and her Prince

 

Happily Ever After – Avoid movies with the words Happily and After in the them, your life will be greatly improved. This is one of the most annoying movies ever. The main characters are an after-thought for the side characters who make you want to lobotomize yourself with a rusty spoon. Though writing the review for it was fun mainly because this movie is so dumb, I mean they named the bad guy Maliss. Why not just name him Señor Bad-Man? Wait, that might be too clever.

Number #2

Zelia and Amin The Singing Princess picture image

Zelia and Amin

 

The Singing Princess– I debated a lot whether to put this at number one because not only was this an awful movie but the racism made really me really uncomfortable, of course the King and I was somewhat racist too but this was far less entertaining. The reason it’s not Number 1 is because I had two positives instead of none which were Julie Andrews and  some nice backgrounds. And yes, the animation was terrible but it was Italy’s first animated movie so it’s a touch more forgivable. I still hate it a lot though, like a lot.

Number #1

Ella and Step-Mother Frieda Happily N'Ever After picture image

Ella and Step-Mother Frieda

 

Happily N’Ever After– This movie has no excuse for being bad. It wasn’t the first anything, it was a massive immature cash grab. It was an ugly uninspired anus of movie that only positives was that Bender’s was a voice in it and I don’t think John DiMaggio was trying, I mean why would he? Quite literary I hated everything about this movie.

If the life of an unfamiliar puppy was on the line and I had to either watch Happily N’Ever After or Milo’s Return to save it, I think I would pick Milo’s Return but if were my life I would pick the sweet embrace of the grim reaper but since it’s a puppy I’d pick THE DISNEY SEQUAL OVER THIS SHIT, because it’s shorter and the lava dog was cute.

 

Next Time the Best, which was also hard to compile.

With the Non-Disney Princess Movies done I thought before jumping into the next set of movies that we would take this month to revisit the previously reviewed movies and I would give my take on the best and worst Disney Sequels and Non-Disney Princess Movies and then I will say what the next bunch of movies will be.

So let’s start with the WORST Disney Sequels. And Just a note I’m not including the Pooh movies or shorts, which there was one only but still.

So here they are the Worst of Disney’s crap!

Number 10

Ariel and Flounder at The Catfish Club The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning picture image

Ariel and Flounder

The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning – Sure the animation was better than most but the movie lacked focused. We were promised Ariel’s beginning and we get Sebastian’s. Other than that the movie is just clumsy but at least it’s a different story. Really this makes the list for it’s lack of focus and false title.

Number 9

Ariel and Melody, The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea picture image

Ariel and Melody

Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea – This one was just a lukewarm rehash of the original Little Mermaid and was lazy to boot but I would rather watch this than most sequels if not because I didn’t hate when I FIRST saw it and if they were just going to copy a movie I can think of worse movie to rehash than the Little Mermaid but it’s still bad.

Number 8 IT’s A TIE

Mowgli and Baloo Dancing The Jungle Book 2 picture image

Mowgli and Baloo Dancing

Peter Pan and Jane Return to Neverland picture image

Peter Pan and Jane

 

 

 

 

 

The Jungle Book 2Peter Pan 2: Return to Neverland – I really couldn’t decide between these two. Both have the same issues, they are dull, safe and annoying plus they were somehow deemed good enough for theaters, What? These movies both suck. At least Shere Khan is awesome.

Number 7

Angel and Scamp, Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure

Angel and Scamp

Lady and the Tramp II; Scamp’s Adventure – Speaking of rehashing, however unlike the Little Mermaid this movie doesn’t get the style right plus the characters are annoying as shit. Puppies couldn’t help this movie and that is just so tragic.

Number 6

Belle and the Beast Ice Skating, Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas picture image

Belle and the Beast Ice Skating

Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas – What can you say about this one? Beast is a Scroogey-grinch, a Jewish Axe, for I dunno why and evil emo Tim Curry organ, this should have been AMAZING with such core story components but alas this was just weak as Zima.

Number 5

Madeline and Quasimodo in Love Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney Sequel 2 picture image

Madeline and Quasimodo Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame II – Now technically I didn’t review this for the Sequel series as I had already looked at it in length because it’s Hunchback but it’s still sucks. Quasimodo tricks a girl with low self-esteem to like him when he see nothing really beyond her looks. I suppose he liked her a bit for seeing the gargoyles but as we see in the original the gargoyles can pick and choice who they interact with like Hugo with Djali and the whole they fight against the soldiers. But coupled with the dumb plot, the songs and animation it’s just awful but I would rather watch it than the rest of the movies on the list and that how it only ranked fifth.

Number 4

Tod and Copper The Fox and the Hound 2 picture image

Tod and Copper

The Fox and the Hound 2 – First off, Midquels are just yucky by nature, second, they joined a freaking band. So dumb, there is nothing in this of substances or entertainment. And again a puppy and a baby fox couldn’t save it. Disney what is wrong with you?

Number 3

Kronk and Miss Birdwell do the spaghetti scene from lady and the tramp Kronk’s New Groove picture image

Kronk and Miss Birdwell do the spaghetti scene from lady and the tramp

Kronk’s New Groove – This movie, this movie made want to drink bleach to forget it. I really do believe I’m stupider for having watch it. This movie should have been fun but it was just movie reference after movie reference till you break down and weep from the lack of creativity. This one is just an over-all Disappointing.

Number 2

Belle and the Beast, Belle’s Magical World picture image

Belle and the Beast

Belle’s Magical World – Groans, this was yet another Midquel but it wasn’t just any Midquel it was the first Midquel. As a Midquel is just took a shit on the first one since when would have the events had happened? Beast starts acting nice to Belle on first night at the castle when she thanked him from saving her life from the wolves. This movie is dumb and muddles the original.

Number 1

Obby and Milo Atlantis; Milo's Return picture imahe

Obby and Milo

Atlantis: Milo’s Return – OMFG this was literally painful to watch. I hated every single second of this minus the Lava Dog thing. This one is just a lifeless turd. There is nothing interesting or memorable about this movie. My brain is hurting just having to think about it again, Oh, the pain is too much.

Next time the Best or rather Comparatively the Top Ten Best Disney Sequels.

This was a list I originally made as a Squidoo lens but Squidoo is now defunct and it just didn’t seem like a page for Hubpages, not sure why though but I think it just better suited for the blog, so here we are.

Painting of Esmeralda and Djali by Wilhelm Marstrand

Painting of Esmeralda and Djali by Wilhelm Marstrand

Victor Hugo’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame (a.k.a Notre Dame de Paris) is known as a tragic tale of love, lust and tragic destiny. But despite the dark tones of the book, there are some very funny parts. This is a list of some of the funniest scenes in the book.
(in order how they occur in the book)
Please note, these scenes are funnier as written in the book and chapters may differ pending on translation.

Gringoire in the Court of Miracles by Celestin Francois Nanteuil  picture image

Gringoire in the Court of Miracles by Celestin Francois Nanteuil

Gringoire vs The Court of Miracles
Book 2 Chapter 6 “The Broken Pitcher”
Gringoire accidentally stumbles into the Court of Miracles and he is to be hanged because for trespassing. Gringiore tries to convinces them that as a poet he’d make a natural thief. They put him to a test which involves him standing an a ricky old stood with one foot, while trying to steal money from the “Bell Boy”; a dummy covered with bells. If he can steal the money without ringing a single bell he is in but he fails. In a last ditch effort Gringoire is offered to the women of the court for marriage. If he marries one of the women he’s safe. This deal suits Gringoire fine. The women berates him for being too poor and too thin. In the end Esmeralda takes pity on him and marries him to save him, which wounds Gringoire’s vanity.

Quasimodo at the Pillory. Illustration by L.H. de Rudder 1844 picture image

Quasimodo at the Pillory. Illustration by L.H. de Rudder 1844

Quasimodo’s Trial
Book 6 Chapter 1 “Ancient Magistracy”
Quasimodo is put on trial for kidnaping Esmeralda, distrubing the peace and resisting arrest. His judge is Master Florian Barbedienne, who like Quasimodo is also deaf. Master Florian doesn’t want people to catch on to this so he just pretends to hear people and passes judgement regardless. With Quasimodo he asks him a question and since Quasimodo can’t hear the question he just stand there while Master Florian pretends to have hear what he didn’t say.

Gringoire balancing a chair in this teeth 1844 picture image

Gringoire balancing a chair in this teeth 1844

Gringiore explaining himself
Book 7 Chapter 2 “Showing that a Priest and a Philosopher are Two Different Persons”
After Frollo sees Gringoire with Esmeralda, he starts questioning him on what he doing entertaining the crowd with balancing a chair in mouth and why he is hanging out with Esmeralda. He explains the wonders of his jaw and how it brings him money and that Esmeralda is wife in name only. Gringoire doesn’t despair that she doesn’t love him because Djali (the goat) likes him. Once again Frollo asks him if he has ever touch her and Gringoire asks he meant Djali the goat.

 Claude Frollo in his cell by Francois Joseph Aime de Lemud picture image

Claude Frollo in his cell by Francois Joseph Aime de Lemud

Jehan asking his brother for money
Book 7 Chapter 4 “Anarkh” and a bit from chapter 5 “The Two Men Dressed in Black”
In this chapter Frollo’s younger brother, Jehan comes to visit him. Jehan is a spoiled good-for-nothing mooch who only visits Frollo to get some money. Frollo is very disappoint that Jehan turn out so poorly so he disinclined to giving him money so Jehan has to turn on the charm. Jehan claims he needs money for charity, so that he and his friends whose names mean “Slaughter” and “the Rook” can buy a widow’s child clothes. When Frollo doesn’t buy his lie he say that he wants to go to a brothel. Jehan then ask for money for food and Frollo asks him about his studies which he really doesn’t brother with and Frollo repeats in Latin “He who will not work shall not eat”. Jehan ask for money for boots but Frollo says he will give him boot but no money. After a lecture about how Jehan on a path to the gallows Frollo hears someone coming and Frollo asks Jehan to hide in the stove and Jehan say his be quite for money which Frollo gives him. In the next chapter while Jehan is hiding he finds crusty bread and moldy cheese and eats them so loudly that Frollo claims it’s his cat to his visitor.

Lemud Illustration of Frollo picture image

Lemud Illustration of Frollo

Phoebus and the Goblin Monk
Book 7 Chapter 7 “The Spectre Monk”
Phoebus is about to meet Esmeralda when he runs in to a Spectre (some translation have it as “Goblin”), it’s really just Frollo but Phoebus is none to bright. Frollo calls Phoebus a liar when Phoebus says he is meeting Esmeralda. Phoebus doesn’t take kindly to being called a lair and challenges him to a dual. Frollo reminds Phoebus of his rendezvous and reassures him that he’ll kill some time soon but he really should keep his date. Phoebus wants to duel and go met with Esmeralda but eventually agrees with Frollo to postpone the duel. Phoebus then say he doesn’t have money, Frollo gives him the money on the condition that Phoebus hide him in the room, which Phoebus is more than okay with. Of course SPOLIER, in the next chapter Frollo stabs Phoebus.

Esmeralda & Phoebus Illustartion picture image

Esmeralda & Phoebus Illustartion

Phoebus wooing “Smeralda”
Book 7 Chapter 7 “The Advantage of Windows Overlooking the River”
This scene is where Phoebus and Esmeralda meet and Phoebus tries to put the moves on Esmeralda who is resistant. The scene ends with Frollo stabbing Phoebus and Esmeralda passing out. So the ending isn’t funny but Phoebus and Esmeralda’s banters is. Esmeralda is talking about marring Phoebus and he is tell her lies about how they don’t need to get married when they’re so in love but here the really funny part, Phoebus can’t remember her name. He keeps calling her “Smeralda” “Esmenarda” and “Similar” (may differ due translations). Her reaction to this is that she’ll change her name to whatever he prefers.

If you guys like this kind of post I can do more posts like this. Let me know.