Tarzan II picture image

Tarzan II

The first time I saw the original Tarzan, I didn’t like it very much but since it had been a very long time since my viewing of Tarzan, I decided to watch it before watching Tarzan II. On a Second viewing, I didn’t hate it as much as the first time. As it turns out Tarzan II is a midquel so there might have been more drama and tension if I hadn’t seen the original.

Tarzan and Zugor Tarzan II picture image

Tarzan and Zugor

Tarzan II takes place when Tarzan is a young wee bit of a thing, trying his hardest to be the best ape he can. Tarzan feels he and the family would be better off is his wasn’t there but his ape momma, Kala, assures him that family is awesome at the 8 minute mark.

Tarzan, however, gets separated from his family and decides to run way when he overhears some gorillas saying that they will be better off without him. He runs into a family of bitter Gorillas who live in a rocky rift and can’t leave because of a monster called the Zugor. The Zugor turns out to be an old Gorilla named Zugor who is scaring animals so they will leave him alone. Tarzan bargains with him to teach him stuff in return for keeping his secret. Tarzan wants to know what he is and what his talents are. It’s at this point he starts horning his human brian which impresses Zugor.

Terk and Tantor go to look for Tarzan after Tantor hears Tarzan yelling. Terk and Tantor run into the bitter Gorilla family. To save them, Tarzan spills the beans about Zugor and Kala and three baby Gorillas get in the fray. Tarzan uses a vine to swing and to save Kala and the babies and Zugor find his place with the formerly bitter Gorilla family. Tarzan learns that no matter what he is, he a part of a family.

Tarzan II picture image


It’s pretty obvious that Tarzan II takes place during that growing up montage. As far as midquels go, Tarzan makes sense to have one, unlike Beauty and the Beast but just because it made a little sense to shoehorn another story in the original, midquels are stupid. Because we have seen Tarzan we know that nothing bad can happen in this story.

We also know that all the character development in the midquel happen in like 4 minutes in the original. Midquels are therefore boring and dull to watch and by their very nature they can’t add anything to the original story.

Lion King 1 1/2 could have made the sequel make a little sense by showing the Scar loyalist leaving Pride Rock but on a whole Midquel can’t have any tension or drama.

Tantor, Tarzan and Terk Tarzan II picture image

Tantor, Tarzan and Terk

As it is Tarzan II despite not having any sense of drama or original character development is not wholly bad. The fact that it is a midquel does make it boring but for hour story it’s fairly not that bad but it has some issues.

A Rhino and a Bird Tarzan II picture image

A Rhino and a Bird

First annoying little issue, and this was an issue I had in the first movie, if the gorillas and Tarzan can talk to Tantor why can’t they talk to the other animals? This is just annoying and I don’t get it.

Tarzan and a baby Warthog Tarzan II picture image Tarzan II

Tarzan and a baby Warthog

Second annoying issue, where the hell is this? I mean I know it’s in the Jungles of somewhere in Africa but where? Africa is a big continent so where is the place with Elephants, Gorillas, Rhinoceros, Hippos, Warthogs, Leopards (or one) and if I count the first movie Lemurs, Baboons and Taisers. Lemurs only live in Madagascar but none of the other animals do so I gotta say F U Disney.

What is Disney’s issue with  pan-menagerie of animals especially when  they had a dumb throw away line about piranhas being native to South America? I could tone out this issue in the original movie but in the midquel it was annoying.

Kago, Gunda and Uto Tarzan II picture image

Kago, Gunda and Uto

Then we have the new characters, Zugor, Uto, Kago, and Mama Gunda. At least the have contrived yet distinct personalities, Zugor is a lovable grump, Uto is dense, Kago is violent and Mama Gunda is overbearing.

Uto, Kago and Gunda are considered the antagonist but they are weak ones and they hardly count. However as weak as they are, they are miles more entertaining than Ursula’s crazy sister or the Tim Curry organ.

Kala and Tarzan Tarzan II picture image

Kala and Tarzan

It says something if before the ten minute mark the viewer knows the core lesson, Family is awesome. To be fair most of these sequels is about family or friends being awesome. On some occasion it’s love that is awesome but that is rarer.

Tarzan II is so blatant with its message that I felt I could have turned it off after 8 minutes. It did make for a nice little bookend with beginning and the end but you know Tarzan is still with his family because of the original so having it blatant in the narrative indicates that the movie thinks its audience is stupid. Then again these sequels are used as babysitting tool to get kids sleep, so touche movie.


Tarzan II picture image


Tarzan II as a whole thing isn’t that bad but it being a midquel is offer very little. If you need to kill an hour or have to entertain a child there is worse stuff to watch.

The Lion King 1 1/2

The Lion King 1 1/2

The Lion King 1 1/2 is a weird movie, as it’s part prequel, part midquel and part sequel. It tells the story that runs along side The Lion King, the story of Timon and Pumbaa.

Many people like this movie but this movie comes at the expense of the original. Nicely put, this movie is basically goofy cliff notes to the original but really it is a parody of the original made to get money without much effort on the writing front.

 Timon and Pumbaa stare at Pride Rock The Lion King 1 1/2  picture image

Timon and Pumbaa stare at Pride Rock

Story goes, Timon, in his Meeket colony, is a dreamer and a bit of an outcast. He doesn’t enjoy digging and hiding so he leaves. He meets Rafiki who tells him to look beyond what he sees. Timon not being one for metaphors decides to head to Pride Rock. He meets Pumbaa and decides to pair up with him since other animals leave him alone.

From that point the movie follows the original, they fart indued the bow, I can’t wait to be king wakes them up, the stampede is nothing really ect ect. Timon and Pumbaa find the jungle place and Simba joins them and Timon gets mad when Simba goes back. Then Timon learns that friends are awesome and helps wins the day with help of his mother and uncle.

Timon in drag with his mother and Uncle Max The Lion King 1 1/2  picture image

Timon in drag with his mother and Uncle Max

The movie is funny and delightfully meta but it’s just reference after reference. The parts that are the best are the prequel and sequel parts. Those parts are the plot, you have Timon’s dilemma and his resolution. The midquel parts which make up the most the movie just poops on The Lion King.


Timon and Pumbaa and the Stampede The Lion King 1 1/2  picture image

Timon and Pumbaa and the Stampede

The bow part and the stampede are particularity guilty of ruining the original. This movie indicates that bow for Simba was started by Pumbaa farting and animals passing out. One Zebra misconstrues it as a bow. Oh isn’t that gas (pun in intended), that glorious opening is ruined.

But the stampede part is by far worst. Timon and Pumbaa get caught up in it and dismiss it as nothing. This mocks Mufasa dying and makes it a farce.

Timon and his Mother The Lion King 1 1/2  picture image

Timon and his Mother

When they movie is doing it own thing, it’s great and enjoyable but every time a Lion King scene is lifted from the first movie, it’s annoying and desperate.

I wish the story was more Timon and Pumbaa’s tale of friendship and not Timon and Pumbaa were really in every single scene of the original just off frame.

The Finale of The Lion King 1 1/2  picture image

The Finale of The Lion King 1 1/2

The Lion King 1 1/2 would have been much better if it didn’t have the first movie shoehorned in the narrative. I get that they were trying to be cute and poking fun at the sequels with the 1 and 1/2 but it really ruined many beautiful and dramatic aspects of the original.

But then again Dumbo does have a cameo in the theatre at the end and Dumbo is the greatest, so I take it all back. Clearly, if Dumbo is in it, it must be a magnum opus of genius.

Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas picture image

Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas

In the crappy world of direct-to-video Disney videos, Beauty and the Beast is the one title where a sequel is out-right rejected because to have a sequel work people need to accept the Beast’s human form which they do not, so much the moral about Beauty being found within.

But Disney is never one to say no when it comes to making a quick buck and so the midquel was born. What the fuck is a Midquel you ask? A Midquel is a stupid story that happens during the first story. It really doesn’t work with Beauty and Beast but it works better than a sequel because at least the Beast is a beast so we have Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas. Just in time for Christmas.

Human forms of Mrs.Potts, Chip, Lumiere and Cogsworth, Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas picture image

Human forms of Mrs.Potts, Chip, Sultan the dog ottoman, Lumiere and Cogsworth

This admonition errr story starts one year later on Christmas. Everyone is remembering what happen but somehow Chip doesn’t remember, even though Chip was major character so the Enchanted Christmas is told as a flash-back to people who should remember it.

Belle decorates the Mock Christmas tree Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas picture image

Belle decorates the Mock Christmas tree

So the story proper, starts the day after the Beast saves Belle from the wolves which is Christmas eve but before Beast gives her the library. Which would make the day she entered the Castle December 23rd. Belle decides to celebrate Christmas but the Beast forbids because he got transformed on Christmas appartently. But Belle doesn’t really care that much, so she is going to have Christmas anyway because it’s awesome.

There is also a evil organ who likes the curse because now the Beast appreciates his emo music so he tries to get rid of Belle and when that fails he tries to kill everyone. That is pretty much the plot.

Forte, the Evil Emo Organ, Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas picture image

Forte, the Evil Emo Organ

The movie’s new characters are really jarring and boring, which an impressive combination. We have the evil organ, Forte, played by Tim Curry, who is evil and emo. He also have some kind of magic musical power that is never explained but it can bring down the house, literally.

Angelique, an angel played by Bernadette Peters who does nothing, there was no point to her character. Fife, Forte’s piccolo minion, who tells Beast about the source of Forte’s magic because Forte is a jerk and didn’t give poor little Fife a solo, you know he’s the reformed former baddie. And finally a jewish Axe which is painful to watch. I don’t get the thought process on that one at all.

These characters are forgettable. You would think Tim Curry as evil emo organ who be interesting but alas no. The CG work on him looks like it belongs in a different movie.

Belle and the Beast Ice Skating,  Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas picture image

Belle and the Beast Ice Skating

This movie is fanfic-y and it pretty much shits all over the first one. Belle’s personality is completely destroyed. She basically wants to make the Beast happy and she is kind of doormat in a lot of ways. All her feistiness, charm and individualism are gone. It’s like he saved her the wolves and now she wants to make him happy? What happen to the nice slow progression of understanding and kindness? Why did you mess that up Disney? They also ruined the famous dance scene because they show Belle and the Beast in their formal dubs before the library scene. It’s just so wrong.

Msr.Potts, Cogsworth, Lumiere, and Angelique,  Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas picture iamge

Msr.Potts, Cogsworth, Lumiere, Fife and Angelique,

Then we have the cliche as fuck Christmas story. How many Christmas stories are about someone who hates Christmas trying to stop it and then get shown how awesome the holiday is? Pretty much all of them. Beast is our Scrooge, our Grinch who tries to fight the spirit of Christmas who in this case is Belle. And along with her friends and a Jewish Axe, show Beast the error of his ways before the evil emo organ can use his satanic musical powers to kill them all.

It’s been done to death. I think Disney just wanted to have a Christmas movie and Beauty and the Beast already had snow in it.

Chip in a wreath, Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas picture image

Chip in a wreath

Besides blatantly ruining the first one, Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas is badly paced, the dialogue is train-wreck and over-all just unpleasant to watch. I was happy to see that this video was 63 minutes in length and yet it was still 30 minutes too long.