The Secret of the Hunchback Frollo; 49% Jafar, 49% Gaston, 1% Frollo and 1% Margin of Error

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Frollo singing, The Secret of the Hunchback, picture image

Frollo singing, The Secret of the Hunchback

Most people say that this “Frollo” like Enchanted Tales in that he looks and acts more like Disney’s Gaston but I would disagree. I think he’s like if Gaston and Jafar a la Disney had a love child and dumped him in a stupid Knock-off discount version of Paris. I mean his face is Jafar, he has his nose, and the body and clothes are all Gaston. He even has a little stupid minion. This doesn’t make him a convincing Frollo adaptation.

Frollo The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Frollo

So let’s be clear with what we are dealing with here, in this “version” of Hunchback we have a knock-off version of a Gaston/Jafar hybrid named Frollo and not a knock-off version of Hunchback’s Frollo.

Frollo threatening the Archdeacon The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Frollo threatening the Archdeacon

In this “version” Frollo is like a sheriff of Paris or something, which is funny because that is what the Enchanted Tales versions of Frollo was, so it’s like Knock-off inception here. Basically all this Frollo wants, his entire motivation is that he wants Notre Dame’s money. Or rather he wants to exhort money from the Church, which is in the book as The Court of Miracles wants to rob the church when they rescue Esmeralda but I don’t think the makers of this movie made that connection, I’m not even sure they have seen a copy of the book, let alone read it.

Frollo and Esmeralda The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Frollo and Esmeralda

Frollo also wants power even though he has it. He also likes Esmeralda and almost marries her for I don’t really know why he wants to do this. That means this Frollo is the CLOSEST Frollo ever got to book Frollo’s goal, but his love or lust or like-like or whatever it is that prompts this Frollo to want to marry Esmeralda doesn’t have any level of torment or anything that made book Frollo compelling, so there is literally nothing going on.  I have seen pieces of bread that are better versions of Frollo than this “version”

Frollo and his little minion The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Frollo and his little minion

Does this make him bad in the movie? No sadly, he probably the most entertaining character mainly because he just reveals in his insidiousness and that  makes him likable and relatable. Of Course him being the most entertaining of the characters speaks more to bore-feast of the rest of the characters than his level of being silly.

 

Next Time Pierre

Pierre The Secret of the Hunchback picture image picture image

Pierre

The Phantom of the Opera; Chapters 16-19

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I’m upping the pace because I realized that if I keep to three chapters a week I would have to go one week in January and that just seemed sloppy so I’m wrapping the book up before the New Year.

Chapter 16, Mme, Giry’s Revelations

So this chapter was boring! It’s just more how it was done by Giry and more yelling from our old pals the mangers who make all the scene they are in boring. Hey Leroux! It’s the Phantom of the Opera not boring Opera Mangers yell about money.

So instead of me rehashing the chapter to you because that is boring I will just tell you fine people what I found interesting. Two things, Mme. Giry has three teeth. Either she’s old or didn’t take care of her teeth. One thing that I have been told is that Teeth is in French lit, at least with regards to out old pal Victor Hugo, is that Good Teeth is a thing. It makes someone like hot! Also first season of Downton Abbey a girl commented on a guy she like-liked and noted that he had good teeth.

Second this is Mme. Giry’s motivation for helping the O.G. She did it for her daughter. The Phantom promise Giry that Little Meg would be an Empress and he did make her the ballet 1st row leader which I guess it good, I know shit about Ballet. I found this more interesting because the book at the beginning that Meg married well but in the sequel of the Webber musical Meg was like prostitute. I’m not sure what Meg was in the Phantom of Manhattan which the Webber musical was LOOSELY based around but that book was the ass-trash of a person with massive diarrhea so who the fuck cares.

Chapter 17, The Safety-Pin Again

God Damn that fucking safety-pin again. I didn’t find interesting the first time so why would it be good a second time?

The answers is no, it’s not good. The mangers get tricked for a billionest time by the O.G. These guys are boring to read about and are just asking to be pranked.

To improve this chapter place the book on a radiator so it warms up. It not only makes this chapter better but improves the reading experience for all books. Books that are toasty warm are scientifically better than cold books. It’s a true fact, It’s a fact rock!

Improve Books with heat Phantom of the Opera picture image silly

Improve Books with Heat

Chapter 18, The Commissary, the Viscount and the Persian

I really LOVE that the last two chapters have been about money tricks and not like the lady who disappeared on stage, these mangers know what’s what, Money>People. It’s the foundation of civilization and good business. If I can borrow a joke, if these managers could, they would throw strippers at money.

So we just get more about Erik being the Angel who might have took Christine and back and forth with Raoul and the commissary and what not. The Police think it was Raoul’s brother who took Christine. Then The Persian comes on the scene and he is like “Come with me if you want to live!” No does, but he block Raoul and accuses him of knowing Erik’s secrets and not letting Raoul speak of them. Raoul is such the whiner but that is what love will do to you.

Again not the great chapter though part about Erik are better then the money talk.

Chapter 19, The Viscount and the Persian

How come the Persian’s servant gets a name but he doesn’t? Must be a style thing.

Okay this chapter is more interesting than the last few, though I dare say that doesn’t take very much. Raoul and the Persian chat about Erik. The Persian has no doubt that Erik took Christine and he goes on to try and show Raoul the mirror trick which is operated on a counterbalance pivot spring thing that makes the wall turn. Of Course Erik being a card carrying genius dismantled the wall device so they couldn’t follow. Clever Girl erm boy erm Ghost, Clever Ghost! Actaully no, Phantom didn’t dismantle it, it opened at the end of the chapter, so not that clever ghost.

The Persian also give Raoul a gun because why the fuck right? The motives of the Persian aren’t clear but they are touched on. So yeah good chapter and makes sure you keep your book toast warm but DON’T put your kindles on radiator that is not a good idea.

 

Note – Also in January I will look at some movie and or play versions of Phantom so just leave a comment below if there is a particular movie veriosn you want too see reviewed. I want to do a minimum of four but I can do more if there is interest or I feel like it.

Here is a list, so please make suggestions ^^ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adaptations_of_The_Phantom_of_the_Opera#Film

And if you have a book you would like the blog to look at after Phantom is done, just leave a  suggestion in the comments. Though I might take a break from these type of posts just as a warning if you don’t see posts on Mondays. We’ll see.

The Slipper and the Rose Review: Cinderella gets a puppy

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The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

The Slipper and the Rose

The Slipper and the Rose is another title I randomly found. It was made in 1976 and it was based on a book of the same name. From what I can gather it was musical movie not based on a stage show, which was more of the standard back then. These days it’s more typical that movies are based of a pre-exiting stage show unless it’s Disney.

Anyway this is a Cinderella movie. So we have have seen intellectually ass-kicking Cinderella, a Gandhi type Cinderella and one who likes nuts but how does this one compare? Well Cinderella in this one is nice, as in the norm but this movie isn’t really Cinderella’s story it’s more about the Prince.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward

The plot is quite simple but have some differences. Prince Edward of some made-up European country, Euphrania, is being pushed to marry a royal princess for both succession and secure an army. Edward however would rather marry for love and doesn’t fancy any of the princesses.

Meanwhile, Cinderella’s‘ father has died and she is pushed into serving for her mean stepmother and dum-dum step sisters. It was either that or go to an orphanage. One day Cinderella seeks off to her parents graves. She then spies on the Prince who does notice her. When she returns home her stepmother is mad at her and gives her a mountain of vegetables to prep. She then gets a visit from a woman who has magical powers who gives her a dog and while Cinderella’s back is turned finishes her prep work.

The King arranges a ‘Bride Finding Ball” for the Prince which he is not keen on but his  foppish cousin wants a lady. Also there is a subplot that Edward’s servant companion, John, is in love with a lady too far above him and his position in life makes him unable to anything about. The king extends invite to his subject to fill up the room. The stepmother and the step-sisters miss their chance to get new gowns she Cinderella is forced to rework old gowns into new ones. She doesn’t do a good job and the magical woman visits her again and she reveals she is a fairy Godmother. The Fairy Godmother does Cinderella work and stepmother and the girls are please. The Fairy Godmother decides to revisit Cinderella and decide she will borrow magic to get Cinderella to the ball. The magic has to be return at midnight so she must leave before then.

Cinderella makes her entrance as Princess. Edward falls instantly in love with her. They dance and bond for a little but she runs away at midnight and leaves her very dainty glass slipper. Edward does the customary slipper search but can’t find her. Three months later Edward makes a monument to his lost love. He then elevates John to a knight so he can go after his lady love. Edwards get mad and throw the slipper away off some tower.

Cinderella’s dog finds it and brings her to it. John sees Cinderella and tells Edward. Edward and Cinderella reunite and decide to get married. Edward asks the stepmother for permission which she grants and Cinderella forgives her which the stepmother doesn’t take kindly too.

The political implications of Edward marry a girl without the aid of a strong country backing her prompts the king to send Cinderella into exile. Cinderella then asks the Chamberlin to lie to Edward saying that she never loved him. Edward mad that he has lost his love twice says he will marry who ever father wants but the line ends with him.

On the day of Edward’s wedding, The Fairy Godmother sees Cinderella in exile saying this wasn’t her plan and now she will have to something spectacular. As Edward is getting married Cinderella comes down the aisle after the bride which causes a commation. The Fairy Godmother convinces the King to allow the marriage and makes it so Edward’s cousin and the Princess Edward was suppose to marry to fall in love. And thus Cinderella and Edward get married.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Annette Crosbie as the Fairy Godmother The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Annette Crosbie as the Fairy Godmother

I knew nothing about this movie so I was very surprised to actually like it as much as I did. It’s very entertaining. Is it deep with developed characters? Yes and no. There isn’t much to Cinderella though she does have a bit of a mouth of her when the stepmother first made her a maid. She also doesn’t except anything from the ball and meeting the Prince. He wanted marriage and she wanted a fun night out, they make that clear. But this movie does give the Prince a.k.a Edward and the Fairy Godmother more to do.

A common complaint I have seen about the Fairy Godmother is that she only helped Cinderella go to ball after years of abuse. Here she does help her more than once and Cinderella wasn’t subject to years of indentured servitude, maybe nine months, tops. Also I like that movie gives a reason for why Cinderella must leave before Midnight instead the standard magic shit just wears off.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward

This movie is really about the Prince. His motivation is just he just wants to be in love with someone he wants. Not a deep or novel motivation but it works. The movie builds up the class systems and how it’s in opposition to Edward’s desire. In fact every song with the exception of the the Fairy Godmother/Cinderella’s make over song is either about Positions in society or love/marriages.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella

The reason why the simplicity of the characters work is because this movie is really well acted. The actors sell everything. Edward and Cinderella have such a good chemistry with each other that it makes up for their love at first sight love. I don’t think the roles are hard to play but they do a good job conveying everything. For example right before Cinderella enters the ball Edward makes this face the indicated he annoyed by another Princess arriving but then his face lights up when he sees her. It’s a subtle little thing but it a good example of the acting in this movie.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward

So at last we come to the technicals. Well this movie is very stagey in its editing and direction. I can see this being off putting to some. I didn’t mind it. It’s not the best but I think it adds the tone of the movie. The songs aren’t amazing but they are fun. I didn’t hate any of them. Protocolligorically Correct might have been my favorite.

Now the costumes. They were wonderful. They were all impeccable and just added so much to the vibe of the movie. They were in that 1740’s style of fashion. They even recreate Jean-Honoré Fragonard’s Swing painting for Cinderella’s exile gown. Even Cinderella’s working dress is pretty. However there is an subtly in the way the movie presents the costumes that it doesn’t really call attention to itself as it just woven seamlessly into the film. I think comes the movie keeps to one style and all the costume even for the extra seems just as lovely as the ones for the leading characters, with some exceptions.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Annette Crosbie as the Fairy Godmother The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Annette Crosbie as the Fairy Godmother

Is The Slipper and the Rose the best Cinderella movie version? Maybe not but it is very enjoyable. I would recommend it if you want 2 hours of fun songs, beautiful costumes and likable acting.

One clue this week because I’m making it too easy.

Penelope Review; Rich People Suck Moral

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Penelope picture image

Penelope

There is a lot of films that are modern takes on Fairy Tale or more precisely fairy tales with a modern setting. Placing a Fairy Tale type story is tricky, you have create certain atmosphere to make it believe for the setting but you can’t have the movie take itself that seriously, I.E. it has to know its place and not be a brooding Twilight-shit storm of a mess.
One such movie with a Fairy Tale modern setting is 2008’s Penelope. It’s by accounts a nice movie and by that I mean pleasant but not really super memorable either.

Christina Ricci as Penelope and James McAvoy as Johnny/Max Penelope picture image

Christina Ricci as Penelope and James McAvoy as Johnny/Max

Penelope tells the story of super elite Penelope who due to a family curse has pig nose. This causes her mother to keep her apart from the world and even goes as far to fake her daughter’s death. The only was to break the curse is to have one of their own kind accept her.

So her parents, or really just her mother, Jessica had rich other blue blood young men to win her heart but all are scared off by her nose. One man tell the papers about Penelope and he is dubbed crazies. He and a newspaper gut then you a in debt blue blood named Max to get a picture of Penelope to prove both them right.

However Max and Penelope bond and when she reveal herself to Max she miscontrue him not wanting to marry her to break the curse for him finding her ugly instead of him being unable to break it as he not really Max the rich blood blue but just Johnny some guy.

So Penelope leaves home and makes some friends. But the she sells her own picture to the news guy. The city then falls in love with Penelope and the first blue blood then is made to marry Penelope in order for people to like him and to break Penelope’s curse even though he can’s stand her cursed face. Penelope can’t go through with it and decide she likes herself curse and all which breaks the curse.

Penelope then becomes a teacher and a popular halloween costume. She then learns the Max/Johnny couldn’t undo the curse but it’s ok because they are in loves.

Christina Ricci as Penelope Penelope picture image

Christina Ricci as Penelope

Ahh, the beautiful ugly, I know you well. Jolie Laide is a French expression that means the psychical flaws are embraced as a part of the person’s overall beauty. Quasimodo, The Phantom, The man who laughs and the Beast fall into this concept but to a more extreme degree.
However all these are dudes, Penelope is a lady with the ugly trait and she has to embrace it to be herself. It’s a weird moral, when she loves herself it makes her look normal despite the point that she wasn’t really all that ugly in the first place. It’s a weird little moral that is really mixed up in its scope. Love yourself and then you’re normal? I don’t it feel like it was sincere in its sentiment but presented badly. Though I do like that it a female who is the Jolie-Laide even if her deformity is still adorable.

Christina Ricci as Penelope and James McAvoy as Johnny/Max Penelope picture image

Christina Ricci as Penelope and James McAvoy as Johnny/Max

I give this movie credit, it explains the fairy tale elements well while mixing it into the modern world. Like why can’t Penelope get a nose job? Because some weird reason that it lodged into brain and will kill her. Instead of being a Princess locked in a tower, she’s a blue blood socialist from an old family kept away from the world.

There is some stuff I don’t think work out that super well, like Penelope in real world and how well she deal with it and makes friend. But it could have been that part wasn’t as interesting as it should have been.

Christina Ricci as Penelope Penelope picture image

Christina Ricci as Penelope

There nothing wrong with this movie as a whole but nothing about really stands out. It’s cute but there anything really interesting? No. It should have been, the characters are all likable in their ways and it acted well but it just alright.

Perhaps if the technical were more stylish it would have stood out. As they were they were just okay. I remember Penelope’s nose and like two costumes but that is it. I give the movie had like a kid like sense of style like clothing from Anthropologie. It has the calculated DIY feeling but is really commercial and basic but trying to be cutesy. I didn’t hate it, I like stuff from Anthropologie, I can’t afford it but I like it but doesn’t make for a good style in a movie with nothing else really going on save for a pig nose and Peter Dinklage in an eyepatch.

Christina Ricci as PenelopePenelope picture image

Christina Ricci as Penelope

I want to say Penelope is charming but it’s clunky in its storytelling, delivery and style. Really it’s just lukewarm.

Clue 1 and Clue 2

Mirror Mirror Review: The Beast Lures you into the Unknown

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An Over the Garden Wall Reference! Awesome! Moving on though.

Mirror Mirror picture image

Mirror Mirror

In the glorious year of 2012 the world was treated to not one BUT two Snow White movies. One was an epic sort of action movie that feautured Snow White leading an army and having “fairest blood,” whatever the fuck that is. The other was comedic but did have Snow White fighting though on a smaller scale. Which one is better? Well that’s a question of taste as neither one is a good movie. Both of them are stupid and dumb in different ways but I find Mirror Mirror to be easier to watch and my taste is the only one that matters.

Lily Collins as Snow White and Armie Hammer as the Prince Andrew Alcott Mirror Mirror picture image

Lily Collins as Snow White and Armie Hammer as the Prince Andrew Alcott

The basic story set-up is the same except that Snow White’s father, the King, leaves to fight some evil thing and he is  never seen again. He leaves his new Queen/Sorceress Clementianna in charge.

Some years later,  Snow White is eighteen and mostly confined to her room. Clementianna  would you believe turns out to be a crappy ruler. She is so bad that they can only afford one season which is winter. No seriously the kingdom is broke and they have having a little localized ice age.

Snow White is encouraged from some of the kitchen staff pals to check out the town, apparently this kingdom is just one town but whatever so off into the world Snow White goes or just the creepy looking forest, just get used to this forest. There she meets Prince Alcott and his servant who are tied up and were rob by dwarfs one expandable slits, which is really cool. She helps them and they has a little instance attraction though they don’t know that they are both royality. So Snow White goes to town and sees how bad it it and Alcot goes to castle for I don‘t recall why might have had something to do with the plot. Clementianna takes a liking to the Prince and wants to marry him as he is rich and good looking and what else is there really? She decides hold a ball and to pay for it she will tax the people.

Snow White and Alcott dance together and the find out each other identity but Clementianna doesn’t like that so she has her man-servant Brighton take Snow White into the creepy woods to kill. Brighton is a coward and decides to level her there for the Beast to kill or turn her in a tree of oil, I kid, that is another Over the Garden reference. Snow White then finds her way to the dwarf’s lair.

The next day, Brighton collects the taxes and the Dwarfes steal it. Snow White disapproves but they tell her that they were made outcast by the town so the don’t give a fuck. Snow White takes the money back and gives all the credit to the dwarfs. The Dwarfes decide that she can stay with them. They give her a training montage and a new threads.

Clementianna then tells Alcott that  Snow White is dead and then as Clementianna is tries and pop the question to Alcott, Brighton tell them about the robbery.  Alcott then goes  into the forest and see Snow White is not dead but in leauge with the dwarf and him and her have a little duel.

Clementianna then goes to her happy place, her Mirrior house where he reflection lives. Clementianna has her reflection turn her servant into a cockroach, gives her a spell to make Alcott love her and uses puppets to marionette thing to attack Snow White and the Dwarves. They defeat them though. Alcott is given a puppy love spell which makes him act like a puppy who thinks Clementianna is his master but that enough for her to plan a wedding, it’s like her seventh or something but she still excited.

Snow and crew break up the wedding and kidnap Alcott. Snow White breaks the spell with a kiss and the Clementianna has the Beast attack. Snow White notices that the Beast has a similar charm around his neck that Clementianna has and it seems to begging for help with it’s eyes. Snow White breaks the charm and the Beast turns into Sean Bean erm the King. This also undos Clementianna’s magic and changes her into an old crone. At Alcott and Snow White’s wedding, Clementianna offers her an apple but Snow doesn’t take it. Then they Bollywood dance, of no earthly reason.

Lily Collins as Snow White Lily Collins as Snow White and Julia Roberts as Clementianna as an old crone Mirror Mirror picture image

Lily Collins as Snow White and Julia Roberts as Clementianna as an old crone

Like Snow White and the Huntsmen this movie tries to take Snow White and make her a kick-ass empowered woman. I would say this movie does it a bit better that Huntsmen. First off you see her abilty grow even though it had been like a day maybe. It’s still better that the one move Huntsmens’ Snow White learns one thing and suddenly she a genius military  leader. You could see the Snow White ruler and you could see her kindness and that she wasn’t a total push over.

Both movies do tackle the Snow White element differently too. In Huntsmen the Dwarves are useless and Mirror Mirror they do things and are memorable. The Mirrors are handled very similarly and very differently. Both are a physical manifestation of a reflection but whereas Huntsmen is a weird goo guy Mirror Mirror is another dimension with Queen’s own reflection. Huntsmen   also takes the classic approach to the sleep death and the apple and Mirror Mirror really didn’t bother that much but did keep the kiss to save the prince. Both are contrived though.

Nathan Lane as Brighton, Mirror Mirror picture image

Nathan Lane as Brighton,

The first thing one really notices about this movie other than the style is the humor or to be more exact the attempt at humor. The comedy is VERY hit or miss and sometimes it’s just awkward. I’ll give some of the jokes a pass because of Nathan Lane and he is awesome.

 

Lily Collins as Snow White Mirror Mirror picture image

Lily Collins as Snow White

Considering the humor, this movie is hard to gauge on tone and genre. It’s a fantasy, drama, comedy. I sort of felt like a I was watching a Snow White  female empowerment movie aimed at younger teens but through the eyes of a middle ages guy who thinks he is artistic. Oh wait, that’s it. It’s not bad but the presentation of this movie is really all over the place. It’s has cool visuals and bad to weird jokes.

Julia Roberts as The Evil Queen Clementianna Mirror Mirror picture image

Julia Roberts as The Evil Queen Clementianna

Speaking of being confused, the casting. For the part I think the cast did a good job, I don’t think the roles were anything too complex but they all did fine but the choices. The first time I watch this movie I kept saving to myself How was Sean Bean in this?   Since then he has been in that Jupiter Ascending movie, so guy’s got to eat and what not plus with this role it was more like a cameo. But Julia Roberts was a weird pick for the Queen. She is a  polarizing actress, I don’t know of too many people who are fans. She really did chew the scenery and gave the role a catty bitchiness which was fun but there seems like there could have been a better actress.

Also the chemistry between Snow White and Alcott was ok but they just didn’t seem right together.

Lily Collins as Snow White Mirror Mirror picture image

Lily Collins as Snow White

Well if you haven’t guessed it by now the best thing about this movie were the costumes. They are big, grand, over the top and have crazy details. I will say I’m not wild about Snow White’s orange and blue gown but I really loved her fighting  get up and the costume she is first seen in, it was very pretty. Also I liked her yellow cloak.

Clementianna’s costumes are big and insane but I enjoyed them. I liked her red gown and her wedding gown the best. I really like that all of Clementianna’s costumes have angular  pointy elements Snow White’s are softer and rounder. It’s a nice nod to their characters.

The sets in this movie look fake but are fun. The style of this movie is really what makes it interesting it would have been a dull movie otherwise that being said, I feel like the over-the-top nearly cooky visual style and the light-hearted humor/adventure tone should have worked better together but they never really came together.

 

Lily Collins as Snow White Mirror Mirror picture image

Lily Collins as Snow White

Mirror Mirror is an interesting dumb movie. It gets something right but confuses more than entertains but it was still better that Snow White and the Thor though that doesn’t really take that much. Also the Bollywood number at the end was cringeworthy.

Clue 1 and Clue 2

The City of Lost Children Review; This Movie makes Santa Claus Terrifying

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The City of Lost Children picture image

The City of Lost Children

What can I say about the 1995 steampunk surreal mind-fuck that is The City of Lost Children a.k.a La Cite des Enfants Perdus? Really, the only thing I can say about it is that I have no idea what to say about it. It’s a weird movie that is dreamlike, wonderful and insane.

Just so you understand this movie a little better, it is a French-German-Spanish movie by Jean-Pierre Jeunet who made Delicatessen and Amelie, so if you know those movies you will get why this movie is weird.

Ron Perlman as One and Judith Vittet as Miette The City of Lost Children picture image

Ron Perlman as One and Judith Vittet as Miette

Despite The City of Lost Children being Steampunk it does have a fairy tale tone. The story follows One, a carnival strongman whose little brother has been kidnapped. As it turns out lots of children are being taken  off to an ocean rig. There is a mad scientist named Krank live and  he can’t dream, so he take children so he steal their dreams. Krank is aided by his “family” Martha, a woman with Dwarfism, Irvin, a brain in a tank who gets migraines and six clones who have narcolepsy.

One is helped by a young girl named Miette who is a member of theives guild which is made up of all orphans. The guild is run by a pair of conjoined twins known as the Octopus. The Octopus becomes distrustful of Miette because of her involvement with One. Both One and Miette are capture by a cult that kidnaps the children for Krank in exchange for optical eye pieces. One is saved from the drowning but Miette is thrown to the water is and is presumed dead. She is saved however by a crazed man who lives in a submarine and looks like the six clones but older and knows something about the children abductions. Miette leaves the submarine and finds One in a bar drowning his sorrows.

Miette and One then have to deal with the Octopus again and they use an assassin flea that injects a serum into One that to makes him try and kill Miette but due to Miette’s tear hitting a spider web that scared a bird which lead to a whole chain of rections it cause the power to go out which means the light house and a huge ship crashes into the doc where everyone is standing. One comes to his sense and he and Miette are thrown into the water. The Octopus douse them with gas and lights a match but Miete and One get away and it The Octpus who is thrown into the water and blown up.

Miette and One make their way to ocean rig to find his brother. To save the brother Miette has to go into the dream and convince Krank to let him go. While that is happening the crazy guy from the submarine sets up explosive to blow it all up. As it turns out he was the one who created them. He created Martha to his beautiful princess wife but she was a dwarf, he created Irvin to talk to but his migraines, he created the clones to be his sons, but their sleep conditions and then he create Krank his great work but he couldn’t dream and because of the he aged prematurely. Miette, One, his brother, the other children, the clones and Irvin make it off the rig before it explodes.

Mireille Mossé as Martha and Dominique Pinon as one of the clones with member of the Cyclops The City of Lost Children picture image

Mireille Mossé as Martha and Dominique Pinon as one of the clones with member of the Cyclops

Trying summarize this movie doesn’t do it justice, trust me. The plot is great, a little weird but on the whole it’s great but this movie exists in the visuals. The movie has very distinct look and feel. As I mention earlier this movie has a steampunk look but this was before it was really a trend so the other elements have non-specific period to them. There is no indication when or where this movie is set in and that adds to the fairy tale vibe.

Also this movie has a color palette of browns and reds. It give the port city a sense of danger and energy.

Irvin The City of Lost Children picture image

Uncle Irvin

The sets are also great. The advantage here is that it made in 1995 which is before CGs stuff took hold, so the sets are real. The reveals in the sets but lets them be too. It’s not trying to hard to showcase elements of the design but lets them exist in place.

Ron Perlman as One and Judith Vittet as Miette The City of Lost Children picture image

Ron Perlman as One and Judith Vittet as Miette

It’s not just the visuals that make this movie, it’s the characters. On the one hand it would seem like the movie didn’t give the characters a lot of development or compelling personality. The movie gives a light yet very controlled hand on revealing characters and motivations. Some are simple, like the Octopus wants money, that is simple. One however shows us that he has a good heart, not super well spoken but can be clever. Miette is gutsy and no-nonsense. Really the character’s flow with the plot so you understanding them as you try an understand the plot.

Daniel Emilfork as Krank The City of Lost Children picture image

Daniel Emilfork as Krank

Which bring us to the plot which is simple and yet has lots of layer like a fairy tale. It’s fairly clear that this story has a lot fairy elements at work. The backstory of Krank and crew reads like a fairy tale. Yet the story isn’t obvious in its fairy tale influence it’s just woven into the story creating the a backdrop for the surreal tone and atmosphere of the movie’s world.

Daniel Emilfork as Krank dressed as Santa The City of Lost Children picture image

Daniel Emilfork as Krank dressed as Santa

If I had one criticism of The City of Lost Children would it weird but then again that its strength . Watch it!

Today we get three clues;

Clue 1, Clue 2, and Clue 3

The Brothers Grimm Review; In French Occupied Germany there was no word for Subtly

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The Brothers Grimm picture image

The Brothers Grimm

Prior to viewing The Brothers Grimm (2005) I more recall the trailer sucking but then I saw that it was written by Terry Gilliam and starred Matt Damon, Health Ledger, Lena Heady and featured Monica Bellucci and I then thought, “Hey, maybe this won’t be so bad.” Then I watched it.

Here is me being totally and 100% objective, The Brothers Grimm is one of the worse pieces of movie vomit and I regret watching it.

Matt Damon as Will and Health Ledger as Jacob with Lena Heady as Angelika The Brothers Grimm picture image

Matt Damon as Will and Health Ledger as Jacob with Lena Heady as Angelika

The movie starts the Grimm brother’s sister is dying and Jacob, the younger one I think maybe who cares though, gets magic beans instead which Will, the older, gets mad as magic is bogus, can you guess where this plot is going?

But enough of that scene, now Jacob and Will are older. Jacob is a scholarly guy who knows legends and stuff and Will likes ladies but not magic. They scam towns based on legends and stuff. Then we see little red riding getting attacked by something.

Jacob and Will get in trouble with some French dude who has this crazy Italian minion-person because little girls are being taken by something spooky scary. Later we also see a Gretel knock-off get spirited away (That is a better movie I should have watched that).

So Jacob and Will and their crew which featured heavy fake accent Italian guy go to the Village to check things out. There they ask for guide who knows the woods where the little ones are being taken. This where they meet Angelika who knows the ways of the spooky forest where trees move and only Grandmother toad knows the right way. She takes them to a creepy tower that was once home to a vain Queen who caught the plague. Later that night another girl is taken. And they again get in trouble with French dude and it was at this point I wanted to turn this shit off because one “joke” or “gag” involved a kitten getting kicked into a fan of blades.

Let’s wrap this plot up because really this movie is shit, turns out said Queen or rather the Mirror Queen was given immortality but not eternal youth and beauty, so she got Angelika’s father to be her woodsmen and take the girls for some spell by the blood moon. Will learns to believe in magic and Jacob and they save the day by breaking the Mirror Queen’s mirror and all the little girls are a-okay.

Health Ledger as Jacob The Brothers Grimm picture image

Health Ledger as Jacob

Ok before I really start ripping into this shlock, I want to invite you into the first thought I had with this movie. It takes place in the 1700’s at some point and the movie opens with the poor Grimms giving money to Jacob to get a doctor for their nameless sister but he gets the magic beans.

Here is my issue with the scene, the kid had FUCKING GLASSES! Do know how valuable those were back then? He probably could have gotten two doctors and the cow back for those things. I get it was a character signifier but FUCK YOU movie! No! If I know their names, I can bloody figure shit out later of who is who. I can’t do that logic jump. It’s like why not just put a gold clock on the fire place while you’re at it. Also I had an issue with the only thing of them bringing up the beans throughout the movie but not their sister who didn’t even get a name, could have called her Plot-Point-Erlla. I didn’t know she had dead except in passing, really it could have been their hamster and it would have had the same impact the movie gave it.

Matt Damon as Will with as Laura Greenwood Sasha under a spell The Brothers Grimm picture image

Matt Damon as Will with as Laura Greenwood Sasha under a spell

Saying this movie has an identity problem is an understatement. Since Terry Gilliam wrote it, it has like a dark comedy aspect but the tone and direction seems to be more adventure fantasy. While dark comedies and adventure fantasy are not mutually exclusive the genre/tone seems to be more combative in this movie than coalescing into a narrative.

It’s almost like two people had different visions of what this movie should be and couldn’t cooperate. Also it doesn’t help that now of the jokes are not even remotely funny. Like that poor Kitten, I mean you could see it coming but it wasn’t funny, maybe had it gone through the fans and was just shaven would have been funny because the point of said joke was the Italian guy was scared of a kitten on his foot and the punchline was the death of a cat? I get dark horror element but not funny as it one dumb joke and one poor taste joke. Also bad accents does not make for good humor either, this movie lacks all sense of the word subtlety.

Lena Heady as Angelika and Peter Stormare as Cavaldi The Brothers Grimm picture image

Lena Heady as Angelika and Peter Stormare as Cavaldi

Then we have characters-like plot devices. They give the illusion of that actors having to play people with distinct character traits but no they don’t. The most they have is angry, nerdy, vain and accenty, the seven dwarfs have more in-depth well round characters that these characters.

Monica Bellucci as The Mirror Queen The Brothers Grimm picture image

Monica Bellucci as The Mirror Queen

But you know just because the plot and characters either suck or nonexistent, doesn’t make the technicals bad. They just ok to really bad. The CG work is on par with off-brand Disney knock-offs. The sets are ok but as fake as Dolly Patron’s chest. The costumes are blah, though the Mirror Queen’s costume is laughable, I mean that crown is just so fucking cheesy, I laughed a lot, and I said there was no comedy in this movie.

Matt Damon as Will and Health Ledger as Jacob The Brothers Grimm picture image

Matt Damon as Will and Health Ledger as Jacob

The Brothers Grimm had the potential  to be a good movie that used tropes and references to fairy tales but the lack of subtly, humor and all around anything entertaining makes this an unpleasent movie to sit through.

Clue 1 and Clue 2

 

Oz The Great and Powerful; Shut-up Theodora

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Oz The Great and Powerful picture image

Oz The Great and Powerful

Basically one day, some Disney executive smoked a joint and thought “let’s have a prequel to The Wizard of Oz” but someone told them there was already a prequel floating around called Wicked. But the executive ignored that story and decided to throw money at pretty obvious prequel story based on the Wizard’s origins without the aid of the original source material by L.Frank Baum. And the result was Oz The Great and Powerful.

If I sound like I dislike this movie, I really didn’t hate it, I mean I didn’t like it either. It does something nicely but it has a lot of flaws and the story is just typical.

James Franco as Oz and Michelle Williams as Glinda Oz The Great and Powerful picture image

James Franco as Oz and Michelle Williams as Glinda

Oz is side-show magician who is also a con-man womanizer. He wants to be a great man like Tesla Ruining, Elephant killing, reason for L.A,  Thomas Edison. One day he gets in trouble with an audience and a strongman and he escapes in hot air balloon and get sucks into tornado and lands in the whimsical land of OZ. He meets a pretty lady named Theodaora the good, a witch. She tells Oz that he is the wizard of prophesy who save the land and rule OZ. Then they get attacked by the wicked witch’s minion. As they make their way to the Emerald City, Oz flirts with Theodora and she being an innocent naive lady believes him and thinks he is going to marry her. He also meets a flying monkey named Finley who becomes Oz’s servant

At the Emerald City Oz meets Theodora’s sister, Evanora. Evanora tells Oz he needs to kill the wicked witch before he can become king. So he leaves with Finley but doesn’t tell Theodora. Evanora then starts manipulating Theodora against Oz.

On their way to a dark forest they see that city that was attacked by the Wicked Witch and they meet a China Girl. Oz fixes her broken legs and joins the party. They sees the wicked witch but she is actually Glinda the Good Witch of the North and the daughter of the original king of OZ who got murdered. Evanora is revealed the real wicked witch. Theodora then gets mad at Oz for being with Glinda, Evanora gives Theodora an apple to remove her heart and as result Theodora’s skin changes to green and she is wicked. Evanora then attacks Oz and crew. They escape with Glinda’s bubbles and they go to Munchkin land.

Oz and crew plan an attack using Oz’s skills of illusion and misdirection. They win and Theodora leaves and Glinda beats Evanora who is actually an ugly hag. Oz then rules OZ as the Wizard of OZ. The end.

The China Girl Oz The Great and Powerful picture image

The China Girl

With Oz The Great and Powerful we have three movies within the same universe that are VASTLY different in tones and style. The original 1939 movie is fun and light-hearted while the sequel Return to Oz is classic 80’s dark children faire. Oz The Great and Powerful is sort of in middle of those tones but it’s very unapologetic in its modern sense of story telling.

Like the main character who wants more from life and to be the very best like no-one ever was. There is also a prophecy about the chosen one. More than that, the movie reveals in the 3D theatre experience where it just take it’s time for the pretty CG stuff to sink in, which are fine on the whole. The China Girl was one of the best CGs I have seen in a long time. The shine and shadows on her were wonderful. She was also the only character with any sense of pathos.

Also speaking of the other movies. The 1939 movie made it clear that OZ was a dream and Return To Oz was the nightmare though it was a little more vague in Reurn to Oz. However is straight up Oz subtitle the Great and Powerful it’s not a dream, it’s real. Which makes it confusing when there  are characters in Kansas that are the basis for characters in the land of OZ  most notably Michelle Williams as Annie who is a former lover of Oz’s as well as Glinda.

Rachel Weisz as Evanora Oz The Great and Powerful picture image

Rachel Weisz as Evanora

Then we have the casting. The casting is very problematic in this movie. There is something about James Franco. I don’t know what it but I do not buy it. He seems to lack the charm and charisma that this character needs. However he is not this biggest casting mistake. That would be Mila Kunis as Theodora. Her naive innocence, which should have been core to the character was not believable but Kunis was better in that capacity than her as the Wicked Witch, which she did not pull off at all. It bordered on being silly but in a very boring way. Michelle Williams and Rachel Weisz were fine in their roles. Only the China Girl and the flying Money did the best and the were just voice acting.

Mila Kunis as Theodora Oz The Great and Powerful picture image

Mila Kunis as Theodora

This movie may seem like character driven movie but it exist more as a technical piece because once you start asking about characters and motivation there isn’t a lot there. The character that should have been interesting is Theodora but her “broken” was the most rushed and illogical turning point ever. She get a broken heart because Oz talks to Glinda, that is it. I mean yes, Evanora turned her against him but in a movie that allowed for few minutes of showing Oz travel down the river to rush a major moment was sloppy. Also the make-up for the wicked witch was beyond bad.  Theodora was wasted.

Bubble travel Oz The Great and Powerful picture image

Bubble travel

If your going to watch Oz The Great and Powerful watch it for some of the technicals, like the China Girl and some of the imagery. Don’t want it for an compelling story or interesting characters, you will not find it on this yellow or red brick road.

Since October is a theme month we going with Live-Action fairy tale-ish movies that in keep with said theme, more or less, so  Clue 1 and Clue 2

Red Riding Hood Review: That Red Cloak does all the work

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Red Riding Hood picture image

Red Riding Hood

Let’s not mince any words or waste any time, This movie sucks. Red Riding Hood (2011) tries to take an already dark story and tries to make it more dark and add a Twilight-esque love triangle and hey it was directed Catherine Hardwicke to boot (Twilight director). So why was it bad?

Amanda Seyfried as Valerie and Shiloh Fernandez as Peter Red Riding Hood picture image

Amanda Seyfried as Valerie and Shiloh Fernandez as Peter

In undisclosed medieval Fantasy times there is a village the is plagued by werewolf attacks but the people and the werewolf have an understanding where they give it some livestock and it does kill people, ah Harmony itself. Living in this village is young Valerie and her pal Peter, get it Peter and the wolf, too clever. They caught a rabbit together and Valerie kills it, pay attention to that because it like SUPER important later, like you have no idea, your mind will be blown.

Flash forward ten years and Valerie has grown. She is in love with Peter but her mother wants her to marry rich bland guy Henry. Also the werewolf has killed a human, Valerie’s older sister Lucie. The Village people are pissed so the go mob style and kill a wolfs but a crazy priest who hunts werewolfs tells them they didn’t. In the hunt for the werewolf Henry’s father is killed. Valerie then learns the Lucie’s real father was Henry’s father and me mother had an affair.

At some point, Valerie gets her red riding hood from her grandmother who lives in the woods. Then the werewolf attacks and speaks with Valerie and only she can understand, it tells her that it wants her to come away with it or it will destroy the village. Valeries sees that the werewolf has brown human eyes and since everyone but Valerie has brown eyes everyone is a suspect. There is also a blood moon which means it is the time for the werewolf to pass on the curse.

So some more stuff happens, Crazy priest dies and it turns out Valerie’s dad is the werewolf and the curse that has been in the family for generations which makes it strong. He killed Lucie because he was enraged to learn that she wasn’t his daughter when she couldn’t understand him. Valerie’s dad tries to convince her that she has it in her to be a werewolf because she killed the rabbit, mind-blown. Then Peter comes in, Valerie kills her dad but Peter got bitten in the fight and gets the curse.

Red Riding Hood picture image

Amanda Seyfried as Valerie

First thing, Valerie takes the death of most of her family pretty darn well. Her sister dies and she is pretty sad but that is over in a few scenes, I mean she does have more important things to deal with, like her love triangle. But she feels nothing when her grandmother is killed and she kills her own father and it like no reaction. She should not be ok.

Amanda Seyfried as Valerie Red Riding Hood picture image

Amanda Seyfried as Valerie

Valerie’s inability to express emotions could be the result of shitty writing and character development but I think it’s something; bad acting. The acting in the movie is on the whole BAD! Mostly everyone under act the shit out of this except one Gary Oldman who vomits up the god-damn fake scenery. Really it’s hard to get into this movie with the amount of bad work from the actors.

While I’m here I might as well discuss the characters. So Valerie tells us that she tries to be a good girl but the killing of the rabbit proves she isn’t. Not sure why I would except a girl in her position in life, in medieval times to have skinned and prepare food was it because it was for boots. Other than the dark stain on her character she is built up to be pretty and prefect but really Vanilla Ice Cream have more bite than her. She is bland and yet she stabbed her lover, dances suggestively, tried to have sex with Peter all the time and killed her own father and yet she is bland. That is pretty amazing, see what the power of bad acting can achieve.

The other characters were bland too but what REALLY bothers me is that writing in this movie is so shitty that things like character motivations and establishing emotions which is needed to development are not there for the sake of the boring, I repeat BORING love triangle. For instance Valerie’s father, his motivation is he wants to leave the village because he has been disrespected, his words but when did that happen? We never see it maybe it was the affair and Lucie not being his child but he wanted to leave before that hence why he called Lucie out. Speaking of Lucie you can’t feel anything for her when she dies because we never see her alive save for like two flashbacks. Why couldn’t there have been a scene with Lucie and Valerie as children laughing or something? Instead we have establish Valerie and Peter, you know the important emotion source of the movie….though this movie is as emotional as a math textbook.

Shiloh Fernandez as Peter Red Riding Hood picture image

Shiloh Fernandez as Peter

Anyway moving on to the scenery or the sets. I have seen Ren Faire with more believability in the sets that this movie vague attempts at a backdrop. The sets looked fake. There was no life to anything, no grit no realness. Really with this level of non commitment to having interesting character or sets there is nothing to maintain the viewer’s attention other than attractive people running around in the snow. I was bored by the minute seven.

Amanda Seyfried as Valerie Red Riding Hood picture image

Amanda Seyfried as Valerie

Basically this movie was made on Twilight’s coattails and the trend of making dark fairy tales movie that was popular for a while. It’s similarities to source material of Little Red Riding hood are like little homages. Her Red Riding hood was pointless, Peter being the woodsmen, going to grandmother’s house and the lines about grandmother’s facial features. These were just there to connect to the source and not much else. This a Twilight werewolf movie.

Amanda Seyfried as Valerie and Shiloh Fernandez as Peter Red Riding Hood picture image

Amanda Seyfried as Valerie and Shiloh Fernandez as Peter

Red Riding Hood sucks, it tries to be dark bit with emotional impact or interest from the actors it just lays there on the floor limp and lifeless. Some of the shot were cool like of the scenery, at least I believe that that mountain or that tree were a mountain and tree. Just skip it.

Clue 1 and Clue 2

Ella Enchanted Review; Who wears a Hoodie to a Ball?

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Ella Enchanted picture image

Ella Enchanted

This movie confuses me, I’m not really sure who it’s for. If I had to venture a guess I would say Ella Enchanted is for eight year girls who liked the Princess Dairies and like to shop at Claire’s. So if you fit that description you MIGHT sincerely like this movie but I can’t really imagine everyone else liking this movie. I sort of used to like this movie in a guilty-pleasure way but it’s really chaotically goofy and not in a good way as it takes itself seriously.

Anne Hathaway as Ella and Hugh Dancy as Prince Char Ella Enchanted picture image

Anne Hathaway as Ella and Hugh Dancy as Prince Char

Main plot goes a little like this, sweet little baby Ella who lives in a place called Frell gets a special gift from a well-meaning but incompetent fairy named Lucinda. Lucinda  gives Ella the gift of obedience which means Ella has to whatever she is told whether or not she wants to or if she is physically capable. Only her mother and their house-fairy know and before Ella’s mother dies she tells Ella not to tell anyone about the gift/curse.

Ella grows up to be a liberal-minded teenage and her father gets remarried to a vain woman with two daughters, meanie Hattie and dum-dum Olive. One day the handsome Prince Charmont a.k.a Char comes to Frell for a Mall opening, Ella and her pal take the opportunity to protest for Ogre’s rights which Char’s evil Uncle, Edgar is persecuting. Hattie gets mad and sends Ella off on her way but Ella then runs into Char and since she is the only girl to not fancy Char they have a snarky attraction. Hattie then finds them and sends Ella back to the mall where Ella gets into trouble because Hattie caught on to Ella doing what she is told and Hattie and Olive made her steal stuff.

Ella decides that she need to get Lucinda to take back the gift, so her house-fairy, Mandy gives her a special book named Benny who is also her boyfriend to help Ella find Lucinda as he can show people and not where they are, though looking at context Ella sees that Lucinda is going to a wedding in Giant-ville. So she off with a Book and along the way she runs into an Elf who wants to be a lawyer, some ogres and Char. They go to the wedding but miss Lucinda. Char recommends Ella looks at census stuff at the castle.

At the castle Edgar gets wind of Ella doing what she is told and orders her to kill Char when he pops the question because they are in love. Ella tries to break it off with Char and chains herself up to a tree. Her plan might have worked but Lucinda shows up, frees Ella and gives a dress for the ball. Ella goes to the ball and nearly kills Char but breaks the gift by telling herself not to obey anymore, that never crosses her mind before? To tell herself not to obey?  Ella is  arrested but her crew of oppressed magical friends help her, fight scene and Edgar inadvertently poisons himself, though doesn’t die. Ella and Char get married and they end with a song and dance number.

Anne Hathaway as Ella Ella Enchanted picture image

Anne Hathaway as Ella

Just so we’re 100% clear Ella Enchanted was based on a book of the same name by Gail Carson Levine from 1997. I haven’t read the book but from what I can gather the movie is nothing like the book, like you can’t even compare the two they are too different. So the movie wasn’t for fans of the book.

Also I have to wonder about the whole gift giving thing. The movie seems to indicate the giving babies gift was commonplace but we never hear anyone else talking about their gift. Maybe the book explains it but the movie doesn’t. Also is a fairy an occupation? Like what is the difference between Lucinda and Mandy. Mandy says she is a house-fairy but what does that MEAN? Do other houses have house fairies? Is she employed? Are any fairies good at the their jobs? These little things just take me out of the movie.

Cary Elwes as Edgar and Heston Ella Enchanted picture image

Cary Elwes as Edgar and his useless snake goon

There is one thing I liked about this movie but I kind of hate that I like it, the actors. There are so many actors I love who are in this movie, from Cary Elwes, Eric Ideal, Joanna Lumley, Heidi Klum, Jim Carter ect. I don’t really have a issue with Anne Hathaway, Vivica A.Fox, Minnie Driver or Hugh Dancy but most of these actors have been in things I have liked and yet they somehow are in this movie? I mean they wasted Joanna Lumley who is awesome in AB Fab. The trouble is expect for Elwes who is just chewing the scenery everyone is playing this movie fairly straight when the idea is supposedly to be taking jabs at fairy tales.

Anne Hathaway as Ella Ella Enchanted picture image

Anne Hathaway as Ella

It seems like the movie is parodying fairy-tales with it quirky stye but the basic story is being true to yourself and that is what Ella does while being perfect. I mean she is pretty and has no emotional hang-ups, she is smart and proactive. She is damn perfect that is not very interesting. The only thing that makes her interesting is her curse which is the source of most the film’s weak attempts at humor.

Lucy Punch as Hattie and Jennifer Higham as Olive Ella Enchanted picture image

Lucy Punch as Hattie and Jennifer Higham as Olive

Then we have come to another major issue with this movie, the costumes. Execpt for Ella, all the costumes are AWFUL, they are trash. I don’t know how this movie managed to make Heidi Klum look bad but they did. The movie has this weird sense of fanasty fairy tale costume but they give them weird modern cuts with gross fabric. Olive at one point has to wear a purple hoodie that is the fuzzy and glittery at a ball. Also Ella’s ball gown was a snooze.

Anne Hathaway as Ella and Hugh Dancy as Prince Char Ella Enchanted picture image

Anne Hathaway as Ella and Hugh Dancy as Prince Char

Ella Enchanted has somethings going for it like the good cast and not abysmal pacing but the humor, style, tone and plot are corny as heck. But in classic this movie let’s go out with a song which is also a clue.