Simba 2019 The Lion King Remake picture image

Simba 2019 The Lion King Remake

Instead of being mad that this remake seems content to enjoy its false advertising or some how trying to redefine ‘what is live action’ let’s just  considered how this movie might incorporate the “live” aspect without anyone knowing so Disney can continues to capitalize on this trend.

Disclaimer – This post is meant as joke.

So stupid idea number, this movie DOES have “live action humans” in it. Like the story is actually a nature documentary and there are humans off in the background or foreground trying to get those iconic cinematic shots and making commentary, like the narration in the Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty remakes .

Also these humans can harp on those plot-holes that were in the original that people on the internet like to point out all the time. Like the logic of King’s impact on  the weather and ecology, Nala’s dad and the incest that it implies, though watch this remake  address that Nala’s mother was taken in from some other pride so there is  no incest. Don’t worry about it because Disney fixed it.  Other plot-holes may include the elephant graveyard, Simba surviving on bugs (though Film Theory covered that ) and so on and so on. Disney will fix it, it will fix them all and create new ones but that will be the remake  of the remake’s problem.

Or perhaps maybe one of the animals is a real Animal hidden amongst the CG animation.  You will have to watch the movie 100 times to spot it. And it will be in the background and it will like a tiny lizard or something. Maybe one of the bugs Simba eats. Likes it’s a Metaphor for how CG is taking over.  But only TRUE DIE HARD DISNEY fans will spot the “live” animal in this remake.      

The reasons for these remakes  existing, besides more money, does seem to be pushing the  computer animation tech (which people are bored with at this point) AND to correct plot-holes from the originals because imagination is hard and people need things explained more. Like with Beauty and the Beast and logic of a curse and a magical castle. So now they need it with CG Lions meet Hamlet.

I hope this movie does actually shoe-horn in humans or one real animal just for the word usage of “Disney Live Remakes” but I also can’t WAIT for how people in interviews will BS some reason for how it’s “Live”  or why it doesn’t matter.   Then again does Disney actually use the term “Live Action remakes?” Is this even a problem?

Ultimately I do not care, Disney needs its money and repackage nostalgia is a safe bet to get that money.   Though if people really wanted Disney  to stop with these movies collectively we need to stop paying attention and sending money on them but we won’t so here we are with four “live action remakes” coming out in 2019.

WHERE IS THE LIVE ACTION HUNCHBACK DISNEY??????

 

Who among us hasn’t watched a particular “Hunchback” scene and thought, “This is good, but it would be better with some cats? “- AnaykhOntheDoor

This got me thinking. Yeah, Hellfire is awesome but it could use a few cats.

 

Hellfire made even better with Cats, hunchback of Notre Dame disney

Hellfire made even better with Cats

There! Purrrr-fect

List of the Cats;

Prince John – Robin Hood
Nala & Simba- The Lion King
Oliver – Oliver and Company
Dinah & the Cheshire Cat- Alice in Wonderland
Sgt Tibbs – 101 Dalmatians
Tigger – Winnie the Pooh
Bagheera & Shere Khan – The Jungle Book
Lucifer – Cinderella
Duchess, Tom O’Malley, Marie,Berlioz and Toulouse – The Aristocats
Rufus – The Rescuers
Si & Am – Lady and the Tramp
Figaro- Pinocchio
Rajah- Aladdin

(masking whiskers is hell)

 

This Post is result of Why did Hunchback Fail? The Conclusion of the conclusion of the Disney Version post where I asked people to choose some random Disney movie and pick you favorite character, to see if other protagonists are listed more favorable than Quasimodo. Anyway here are mine  (movies came from the list of movie people chose plus one)

HunchbackDjali or Clopin

Djali Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Djali about to enjoy a feast Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Clopin Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Clopin Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t want to choose between them so I won’t. Both of these characters are fun and charming.

 

AladdinCarpet

Carpet Aladdin picture image

Carpet Aladdin

Much like Djali and Clopin, carpet is fun and charming. Also carpet is smart, laid-back, loyal and handsome (as far a carpets go).

 

Beauty and the BeastLumiere

Lumiere Beauty and the Beast picture image

Lumiere Beauty and the Beast

I had a hard time choosing. I really enjoy Gaston and Le Fou but Lumiere is fun. I say he edges them out by a small margin though I’m not sure why, maybe I like over the top musical numbers.

 

The Lion KingRafiki

Rafiki The Lion King picture image

Rafiki The Lion King

Another Fun character, both smart and silly.  Plus I liked it when he hit Simba on the head.

 

The Emperor’s New Groove -Yzma

Yzma The Emperor's New Groove picture image

Yzma The Emperor’s New Groove

What’s not to love? She’s a great fun villain.  Gotta Love Eartha Kit in this. I also love Kronk, they play off each other well but Yzma edges out because she just reveals her schemes.

 

Bambi – Friend Owl

Friend Owl Bambi picture image

Friend Owl Bambi

He’s grumpy and smart ^^ . I also like Flower, he’s adorable, soft-spoken, endearing and innocent that is until he gets Twitterpated.

 

 

The Sword in the Stone – Mad Madam Mim

Mad Madam Mim The Sword in the Stone picture image

Mad Madam Mim The Sword in the Stone

She’s too delightful and Mad, and despite her limited screen time she’s the best part of this movie, that duel was awesome.

 

 

Hercules – Hades

Hades Hercules  picture image

Hades Hercules

I really like Hades as a villain, he cool and calulating, and that makes him fun as Hades ^_~ (bad joke).

 

101 Dalmatians – PUPPIES!

Puppies 101 Dalmatians picture image

Puppies 101 Dalmatians

Except for the “badun” (Jasper & Horace), I actually like all the characters, but I’m a dog person so I’m just going to say Puppies ^^ though as a kid Penny and Lucky were my favorites.

 

Sleeping Beauty – Maleficent

Maleficent Sleeping Beauty picture image

Maleficent Sleeping Beauty

She maybe not be a typical fun character but she is the one having fun being evil and I like that. Plus she’s super stylious.

 

 

Apparently I like the fun sidekicks and villains. Not a single protagonist. Perhaps Disney is better at creating villains and side-kicks. Maybe they try to hard to create likable protagoists that in the end they’re not really all that likable or interesting. Considering that people who responded didn’t list any protagonists either.

If you would like to list your Disney favorite characters from any Disney you want, please feel free, maybe you can defend the protagonists, I just ask that you please include the Hunchback.

Here is an article posted back in January that I have been meaning to post http://disney.go.com/disneyinsider/part-of-the-magic/floyd-norman/?cmp=fb_dcom_ins_di_hunchbackofnotredame_0215_Extl/

Cast Poster of Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Cast Poster of Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

It’s a bit of an inside look of what happened behind the scenes on the Disney version. Though in truth, most of this information was discussed on the DVD commentary, but it’s still a good read.

 

Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

It seems that from the onset, this movie lived and could have died from how Hellfire was received from the higher-ups. The studio seemed to love the fact that the film was darkest and they had this complex villain and yet Disney just doesn’t real seem to care that much about this one. But why? I think the closing statement of this article puts it best “Although we may not have matched the numbers and reviews received by “The Lion King”, we created a darn good movie.” (i.e accolades and money).

 

money and accolades = The Lion King

Cynical take at what Disney Values in the Movies

Next Time – The Conclusion of the Conclusion of the Disney (although I’ll probably never be truly done with it… )

Djali, Esmeralda, and Phoebus Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Djali, Esmeralda, and Phoebus Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Der Glöckner von Notre Dame picture image

Der Glöckner von Notre Dame

Der Glöckner von Notre Dame is a German musical based on the Disney version. It premiered in Berlin in 1999 and it’s music and lyrics were written by Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz respectfully. This was the first musical Disney produced that premiered in another country and it was one of Germany’s longest running musicals, it ran for 3 years.

 

What makes the musical great is that it does a great job of mitigating between the Disney version and the original book. The characters are more fleshed out and the childish tone is taken away even with the gargoyles (yup they’re in the musical too).

 

Both Menken and Schwartz have confirmed that there will be Broadway version of Der Glöckner von Notre Dame and it will be called The Hunchback of Notre Dame even though Der Glöckner von Notre Dame doesn’t mean “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” it means “The Bell-ringer of Notre Dame” but whatever, I’m sure it’s a marketing thing. This talk of an American version has been in the works since 2008, so don’t get excited till some casting has been announced. Other question is how much are they going to revamp for the American version. I hope they don’t change the ending.

 

Broadway version of Beauty and the Beast picture image

Broadway version of Beauty and the Beast

Broadway version of The Little Mermaid picture image

Broadway version of The Little Mermaid

Broadway version of The Lion King image picture

Broadway version of The Lion King

 

 

 

 

 

 

With American version on Broadway it will follow in the other Disney musicals like; Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Aladdin; Mary Poppins and the upcoming The Jungle Book and Dumbo.

 

Disclaimer- I just wanted to say that for this review keep a few things in mind, #1 I don’t speak German (I can read translations but translation are not always great) and #2 since there is no official performance recording (at least that I know of), pictures will be minimal. I’ll try to find some but can’t promises lots of pictures in every post I do on Der Glöckner von Notre Dame.

 

Next Time- Plot

Frollo and Quasimodo Der Glöckner von Notre Dame  picture image

Frollo and Quasimodo Der Glöckner von Notre Dame

http://youtu.be/7DCALg2levk

Frollo and Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo and Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Frollo and Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo and Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

 

 

 

 

 

Out There is for all intended purposes is a solo but its prelude is duet between Frollo and Quasimodo. Frollo sings about how awful the world is as a means for controlling Quasimodo. When Frollo departs the scene, the mood of the song changes into  Quasimodo singing about a yearning to venture beyond the tower and go flocking with the normal people.

 

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Ariel Disney The Little Mermaid picture image

Ariel Disney The Little Mermaid

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is no good way to say it, Out There is a knock off of “Part of your World” from the Little Mermaid.  Lots of Disney characters sing this “wanting more” type of song but Out There and Part of that World express the some thought. And it’s interesting that they both point to a direction; up for Ariel and down for Quasimodo and they both mention a desire for the sun and to be with “the people”. They also kind of look alike, red hair and they both wear green.

 

 

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

So how is the song on a music level? Got say, the song it’s self is pretty typical Disney fare. It’s one of the typical songs you’ll hear in a Disney movie, the dreamer’s song. It’s usually the main character singing about wanting something more. This song is just Quasimodo singing about even if just one day he wants to apart of the people. The music is fine, it’s nice and symphomatic. The lyrics are very repetitive: he wants to be to live a day with the regular people, I get. Quasimodo does come off naive to think that just because people live “out there” this qualifies them as normal and he also insinuates that it’s a gift for them to be normal despite the whole issue with gypsies who have to live in catacombs to avoid Frollo’s genocide tendencies.

 

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The singing is where this song fails for me. Hulce’s vibrato  has too much of a wobble for me. I think this fast vibrato is meant to give Quasimodo an innocence and naivety but it too much wobble. The wobbly vibrato ruins Hulce’s performance for me and do think he a decent enough singer otherwise.

 

 

 

 

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Quasimodo singing "Out There" Hunchback of Notre Dame Disney picture image

Quasimodo singing "Out There" Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

 

 

 

 

 

The best part of the song in the movie is the visuals. I remember the first time I saw it, the part where Quasimodo slid down the buttress was my favorite visual, I thought it looked fun, of course as a kid I thought it was a water slide and not a support structure.  I really enjoy Quasimodo interacting with the Notre Dame, he may be dreaming on being on terra firma but Notre Dame is like his private playground.

 

Belle, Carpet, Pumbaa Disney Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Lion King

Belle, Carpet, and Pumbaa

Frollo in the Square during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo in the Square during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Satellite Dish during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Satellite Dish during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are a few things that appear in the song that many viewers don’t seem to notice. The first are cameos, which people do notice. The Cameos are Belle (Beauty and the Beast), Pumba (The Lion King) and Carpet (Aladdin). Two other things, is Frollo can be seen in the square as Quasimodo is looking down and a satillite dish can be seen on a house in the bird’s view of Paris or La Cite in this case.

 

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

So the song is by no means in the top tier of the songs in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, it by no means is it the worst. It’s just a VERY typical formulaic Disney song.

 

Next Time –Topsy Turvy

Clopin during the Feast of Fools Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Clopin during the Feast of Fools Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

A Memorable Character who has no affect on the plot is The Old Heretic (voiced by Gary Trousdale one of directors who as did non-baas for Djali). The guy who yells “I’m Free’ after getting out of some form of confinement but then immediately gets into a new one and then proclaim “Dang it” because they can’t use the word Damn.

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame  picture image

The Old Heretic is free Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame  picture image

The Old Heretic falling Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame  picture image

The Old Heretic railing against the cruel hand of fate Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So why I’m I bothering with this character. Well, he’s funny, he’s a running gag done well. You see him twice, it the same joke but it’s funny. And though the film goes out of it’s way to do this joke, it feel natural and not forced. Mainly because of control freak Frollo it’s believable that an old guy would be locked away in a cage for X number of years. But odd that a stock would left open during a festival.

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame  picture image

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame  picture image

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Old Heretic looks likes Jafar from Aladdin in his disguise (this make four cameos by other Disney characters, others are  Belle (Beauty and the Beast), Carpet (Aladdin), Pumbaa (The Lion King) and the Baker (Beauty and the Beast) . Maybe the Jafar Disguise is the default  look for Disney’s prisoners. If Disney made  a version of the Count of Monet Cristo, Abbe Faria  would probably look like Jafar/Old Heretic too.

Jafar Disguise Disney Aladdin picture image

Jafar in Disguise Disney Aladdin

Belle, Carpet, Pumbaa Disney Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Lion King picture image

Belle, Carpet, and Pumbaa

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baker Figurine Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Baker Figurine Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Baker Disney Beauty and the Beast picture image

The Baker Disney Beauty and the Beast

 

 

 

 

 

 

Little is known about the Old Heretic. We have no idea why he is a heretic or even how old he is. You don’t even learn that he is supposed to be a heretic. One thing that we do know is this; he has a Confinement Destiny*.  He just a gag no more no less. But in the scope of  a running gag it’s enjoyable.

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame  picture image

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

The Old Heretic Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

 

 

 

 

 

*This is a lame joke relating to Ananke (very simply it means Death Destiny). Ananke plays a big part in the novel and I’m making up another type of destiny, it’s a lame joke, I have a Lame Joke Destiny ^_~.

Next Time – It’s a surprise ^_^

Quaismodo and Hugo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quaismodo and Hugo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame