Alas there are no Hunchback of Notre Dame ugly Christmas sweater just yet but since this blog has a Disney leaning here are some Disney Ugly Christmas Sweaters that you can get right now via amazon.
Also I had wanted to showcase a Notre Dame Fighting Irish sweater just to be funny but I couldn’t find one. But there are a TON of Disney Ugly Christmas Sweaters, because of course there is, it’s Disney and Christmas.
If I ever do make a Quasimodo/Hunchback Ugly Christmas sweater I will post here because where else would I put it? And it will be very ugly because I suck at art. Of course you can always get my Quasimodo Ornament at Zazzle for your Christmas tress.
I’ll admit I should not be reviewing dance, I don’t understand it. I don’t understand the language or technique behind any of it. That being said I understand that Roland Petit was going for a more experimental form of ballet with Notre Dame de Paris or contemporary ballet. Contemporary ballet uses both elements of traditional ballet and modern dance to create a new style of ballet.
The style of dance in this ballet is not light and graceful with impressive delicate footwork on pointe, this ballet feels more masculine in its energy and movements than traditional ballets. It feels powerful in its moves and there is a lot more upper body movements than you would see in what is considered for a conventional ballet.
Natalia Osipova as Esmeralda, Roberto Bolle as Quasimodo and Mick Zeni as Frollo, Roland Petit Notre Dame de Paris 2013
That’s not to say it’s all strong manly ballet all throughout. Esmeralda does go on pointe and has more conventional ballet fluidity in her dances but their the modern dance elements still there. For example, during her solo she has these sliding motions with her feet across the floor, which I have never seen in a ballet movement, though I could 100% mistaken and this choreography done in traditional ballet.
The question is does this contemporary ballet style of Petit’s work for the story? Hugo always had a rough less gentile setting to his characters and stories. With Hunchback we have a tragic story of three men and their own unique takes on love and desire on a tragic young beauty. So while I personally don’t understand this style of dance or ballet, it does suit the mood of the story.
There is nothing wrong with the choreography, Petit approached this project with a lot of passion and knowledge of the art form. This is all super subjective either you like this style or you do not. Or you’re like me whereas you appreciate the intent but you really just don’t get it.
Natalia Osipova as Esmeralda & Roberto Bolle as Quasimodo
There were moments I liked, Like Esmeralda’s first solo, the pas de trois with Esmeralda, Phoebus and Frollo and the pas de deux with Quasimodo and Esmeralda in the second act. I also really liked Quasimodo’s moments on the whole of how the dancer uses his arm and elbow as his hunch making it more interactive.
This gown is by Tadashi Shoji. It resemble Esmeralda’s Notre Dame de Paris costume in both the green color and lacy texture but the tiers are akin to Disney’s Esmeralda. But also the tiers have flamenco vibe which works Esmeralda’s personality in most any version.
If you are like me and live in USA you may have to endure football on the TV. Or not maybe something else is on in the background or your like football.
If only there was a Hunchback meets football that you could watch instead this Thanksgiving day….
Clairemarie Osta as Esmeralda & Karl Paquette as Phoebus, Roland Petit Notre Dame de Paris
Phoebus is an interesting character as he whatever a given version needs him to be. He can be a good guy, bad guy, romantic lead, asshole, just sort of there, or non-existent.
Although the ballet does go out of it way to showcase Phoebus’ attentions on other women who appear to be prostitutes or at least tavern wenches or maybe just whores so either Phoebus has a bad seduction game or he is a massive slut. I would say he is a slut.
Given that his function is to add to the tragedy of Esmeralda and torture for Frollo, he doesn’t need to have a deeper character. He does what he needs for the purposes of the ballet’s narrative.
This was a suggestion by Roman. I suppose for this suggestion to make sense we are going to have to posit that this casting would have to occur in the early 2000s, like after 2002 with Spears’ film debut in Crossroads but before she gave up her dream to be a film actress because Spears had the good sense to not pursue that path.
Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake
Spears did have enough influence prior to her break-down that she COULD have play rich-bitch Fleur de Lys though it might have depended on the style of Hunchback. Like if it was all star cast for a teenage MTV demographic. So maybe Justin Timberlake as Quasimodo, Freddie Prinze Jr as Phoebus, Shannon Elizabeth or Eliza Dushku as Esmeralda, Ashton Kutcher as Gringoire and Paul Rudd as Frollo. You know, a 90s/2000s teen comedy take on Hunchback. That sounds abysmal and yet I would have to watch that train-wreck of an idea while at the same time cursing the heaven for allowing to exist.
Britney Spears in the Work B**ch music video
So Britney Spears as Fleur de Lys? Well that best I can say for that idea is at least she’s blonde. Fleur de Lys has long been cast as blonde to counter Esmeralda’s dark hair, however it’s mentioned in the book that she has blonde hair and that she wears sky-blue. So Britney Spears fits that important hair color criteria.
Britney Spears as Lucy in Crossroads
As for acting, well Crossroads was nominated for a lot awards, mostly Razzies of which Spears herself won worst actress and worst song. But is playing a jealous bitch all that hard? Could Spears have pulled it off? As far as Fleur de Lys goes in other versions, I often find her delightful. I think there is an art to making a unlikable character come off as interesting and in some way likable. Whether it was a case of the acting other characters or just her actresses, Fleur de Lys would have been out of Spear’s range as an actress. That isn’t saying much as her other film rolls were a Flight attendant in Longshot which was a cameo, in the music video “Boys” in Austin Powers in Goldmember, a cameo in Pauly Shore is Dead and finally a cameo in Fahrenheit 9/11. She also had a cameo on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Not sure if you noticed a pattern. She did cameo as herself, not acting. She can’t act and didn’t try after Crossroads.
However not being able to act hasn’t stopped other would be actors. To be fair she did fake the world with her early days innocent act. Maybe Spears could have played Fleur as herself? Like if there was a case to cast Spears as Fleur de Lys, then the project would have been less about the characters and plot and more about the notoriety of the casting so it wouldn’t have mattered if she could act or not. The name would have been enough.
Britney Spears
Fortunately, Spears hasn’t been in a movie in since 2004 even as cameo and I don’t think any studio would take a depressing book and make a rom-com for teenagers using former “it” celebrities. But the idea of it is super cringe-inducing.
But what do you think? Could you stomach the idea of Britney Spears in a version of Hunchback?
Mick Zeni as Frollo, Roland Petit Notre Dame de Paris
Given this version’s characterization of Esmeralda and Quasimodo it’s not surprising that there is very little to this Frollo outside of what the plot demands.
He is a priest who lusts after Esmeralda. He doesn’t feel any guilt over feeling lust towards Esmeralda versus his lofty opinion of himself because of his position as a priest. He could have been spurned jealous lover of hers who happened to be a priest and it wouldn’t have changed anything as the ballet presents his character.
Basically there is not much here outside of Frollo slapping Esmeralda during his assault on her that is different. Not sure how I feel about that but he did attack her in the book so the slap was a clear visual for the ballet, so it’s at least understandable and the action does make Frollo more contemptible as a villain.
And a villain is what he is. It’s very black and white with no shades of gray. It’s a boring rendering of the character.
Unless this ballet is super-coded and there is more expressed in the characterization and I don’t understand it because I don’t understand the language and gestures of ballet. But, if that was true then the slap would not have been necessary, so this is just boring yet oddly violent version of Frollo.
Again I should just say that for the medium of ballet this type of characterization is fine. It does what it needs to.
Sometimes bad casting isn’t about a terrible actor or a celebrity pretending to be an actor, sometimes it just bad casting. Like the absolute wrong person for the role and John Cena would make a terrible Frollo.
John Cena
John Cena is a WWF personality. He’s been in a few movies but they seem more like comedies and action thrillers than dramas based on literary classics (or based on classic Hollywood movies.) Being in the WWF means he is an actor but he is not a heel (bad guy,) he is a face (good guy). I learned those terms from GLOW, I’m not much one for wrestling. So I least hope that I got that he is a face and not a heel correct. The point is he is already not believable as a brooding, lustful, control freak.
So why would I bring up Cena for Frollo and not Phoebus as he looks like a Phoebus. Well that’s the point. Can you imagine a buff conventional attractive Frollo? Can you imagine a Frollo looking like a the cover-art of a smutty romance book? The answer is yes and no since we sort of already got that in the 1956 version. Alain Cuny was the wrong type but not as extreme as Cena. The point is Cena as Frollo would not be believable as Frollo and it wouldn’t matter even if he gave an amazing performance.
John Cena
But could Cena even give an amazing performance as Frollo? From what I have seen maybe BUT most likely no. The WWF is all about being big and over-the-top and actors playing Frollo rarely are allowed to go that big in their performance. Maybe a big over-the-top Frollo who doesn’t hide his emotions but yells a lot would be good? Doesn’t seem like Frollo though.
John Cena
So an attractive overly emotional Frollo? That sounds more like Gaston than Frollo but then again we got two versions of Frollo that were Gaston knock-offs. So John Cena could play Frollo in the Live action version of the Enchanted Tales Version of Hunchback.
Oh dear God! That would be awful. The idea of that makes me psychically ill. There is the horror of this casting. It’s not just Cena would be woefully unfit to play Frollo but that there is actually an iteration of Frollo that he could play convincingly.
John Cena
At least there is no chance of the Enchanted Tales version getting any sort of attention. At least Hollywood can’t be that cruel. Can it? Unless it would be to make money at a loss, which I mean would be a great idea if the idea to make money on a flop. But as a standard film version John Cena, darling of The WWF, would make a terrible Frollo in all aspects of the character.
