Well maybe it’s more of a tepid take.

Starting with Aladdin. This trailer is  really underwhelming. There is no vitality in this movie. Not going to be too harsh since it’s a minute trailer but there isn’t anything blood-pumping, nothing exciting, nothing to get one hyped for a fun adventure. It’s more dream-like, like a soft lullaby maybe that is what they were going for, more mystery. I guess that could be a bold choice with an Aladdin remake.   

Then there is Will Smith’s Genie. First, it’s a no win scenario. People didn’t like him not blue when the first set of pictures were released and they don’t like blue. But more than that it’s nearly impossible to adapt the Genie from Aladdin since so much of the character was Robin Williams.

Either the film needed to just find someone to outright copy Williams’ performance (like they did in the Aladdin cartoon) or they needed to make a whole new characterization. Instead they went for the middle. Again no win.  Personally, I would have gone for a whole new thing for Genie.

Then there is  the Frozen 2 trailer. This is a teaser trailer so there isn’t much of context for what is happening but it is definitely the opposite of the Aladdin trailer, it’s all hype.

Frozen has gone into the realm of serious action movie.  There is training montage, Anna has a weapon, Kristof is riding Sven maybe into battle, who knows yet? Has Frozen gone Skyrim? Maybe. I personally do not know how to feel about this one. More confused than anything.

Also it’s important to keep in mind that trailers are super misleading so this could all be just weird marketing.   

Edit from 2021 – It’s been over a year since these films were released. I still have yet to see the Aladdin remake but with regards to Frozen II when the trailer dropped the film wasn’t even done so in hindsight there was no real context to what was showcased in the trailer, it was all cool hyped. Which was and is fine.

I could sit here and bemoan the fact the Disney doesn’t have more of a vision of how the plot is going to unfold before going into the actual film making process BUT I also have a limited amount of knowledge of film production, so moot point. I do recommend watching the docu-series of the making of Frozen II on Disney plus.


I have 25 ideas for ways in which Disney could inject some Hunchback references into their theme parks.

A lot of these ideas would be easy or low cost add-ins (I think) but some would be more costly. I’m not asking for a Hunchback dark ride where you see movie scenes as you ride around on a ride vehicle shaped like a gargoyle, though that would be cool. And Side note, Disney, If you want to use any of these ideas I will not sue even though I know they will not since I don’t think they can.

But first a few notes;
-These ideas could be in any of Disney’s Theme Parks Worldwide but I was mostly inspired by Walt Disney World especially for some Epcot specific ideas but really these could go anywhere.
-A lot of these ideas follow Disney’s marketing trend for Hunchback so lots of Clopin related stuff.
-Some of these ideas are half-baked, meaning I didn’t give them much thought.

This somewhat organized by least likely to maybe Disney would consider it, maybe, someday maybe if Hunchback gets more popular and makes more money for the company.

Least Likely Disney Hunchback Theming Ideas

There used to be an attraction at Tokyo Disneyland called Cinderella Castle Mystery Tour. I read about it in college. It’s not opened anymore though.
Basically it was a guided haunted house walking tour with Disney villains. The villains were defeated by a child who got a metal at the end of the tour. It was also the only attraction to feature the Horned King from The Black Caldron.
So my idea is make it a dark ride with Disney villain tableaus including Hellfire, which would be the best scene. Maybe at the end of the ride the youngest person in the ride vehicle or a cast member could just pick the person somehow, defeats the villains with their “pure heart.” And the gift shop attached to the ride could sell the metals or little pins showing your victory over the darkness.

Animal Kingdoms has Goats. Name a Goat after Djali. Or They could change the name that area to Djali’s Sanctuary, works on two levels. Or change the name of the train that takes you to the goats to the Djali Express.

A Walkthrough of the Court of Miracles. Like maybe it’s little shops.

A Clopin cast-member could have a cart and perform puppet shows of Disney movies. Clopin Style!

Clopin could lead a Parade. (did that peform)

Poker with Pigeons. A game where kids could bet bird seeds and win something small.

Hunchback themed bathrooms. Could go with gothic architecture or a topsy turvy theme but Disney loves its theme bathrooms.

Add one of the Hunchback Gargoyles to the Bridge near Be Our Guest Restaurant amongst the other gargoyles that are lamps. Could be a hidden easter egg. Or they could put a gargoyle statue at the entry of the France pavilion.

A Toy Making experience like they have at Pandora and Galaxy’s Edge. Guests could get a custom made wood craving of themselves in the style of Quasimodo’s wood cravings. It would be 3D printed.

The Flying Buttress ride. It would be a ride like the Dumbo ride but with Flying Buttress. Not sure what that would consist of.

Slightly More Likely Disney Hunchback Theming Ideas with Food

A Clopin themed Cart that serves Dole Whip. Maybe it’s a swirl with Raspberry, Mango and Lime because Topsy Turvy. Or Spiked Dole Whip because Hunchback is a grown up movie. Although Spiked Dole Whip is already a thing. Or just a Clopin inspired Dole whip cone. Or a feast of fools one.

Interactive Bells at the France Pavilion that kids can ring. They have drums that kids can bang on why not bells that they can ring.

Or a Bell show with performers. Maybe they are dress similarly to Quasimodo.

A projection of Quasimodo at the France pavilion. Like on the side of a building.

An Indian/French fusion restaurant with a Festival of Fool theme. Maybe it has a King of Fools contest every night and someone is crowned King of Fools.
Please note, I won’t go in too deeply into Romani food culture. I did a little research and found that it was similar to Hungarian food but I’m sure it differs with Romani country to country. So just point a pin in that and we’ll come back to that in a bit.

Embed Hunchback stuff in the ground. Disney does this a lot so why not Hunchback stuff? Quasimodo’s shadow, the woven map, Esmeralda’s earring or one of Frollo’s rings, Djali’s hoof prints, or Achilles hooves or Snowball’s hooves.

One of the Paintings around the France Pavilion could feature Esmeralda and Djali in like an Art Nouveau style to keep to the theme of the pavilion.

L’Halles at the France Pavilion could offer a Quasimodo Croissant because he is shaped like one.

L’Artisan Des Glace at the France Pavilion could have a Hunchback inspired flavor.

Pineapple Upside Down Cake with Dole Whip could be called Topsy Turvy Cake with Dole Whip. Maybe offered a different location then where it is currently offered because it’s a Hawaiian theme place. Or they could change it slightly to a different fruit. But Upside down cake sounds like a prime contender for the Topsy Turvy name.

A Purple Esmeralda inspired confection. Make it Instagram-able for the Purple Wall.

Have a Speakers at the France Pavilion that plays Bells of Notre Dame or a recording of the actual Bells of Notre Dame.

Since I mention Hungarian Food being similar to Romani food, and if I’m wrong I apologized, why not have a Romani/Hungarian inspired Poutine. Now I have made this before and it is delicious. Basically instead of gravy you cover the fries with Paprika Sauce and cheese curds. You can call it Clopin Poutine. It would be amazing, trust me. Paprika Sauce amazing!

Esmeralda inspired Mini Ears. It would have purple sequins as the ears with a teal bow with gold strips and maybe a pink ribbon draping off like her hairband.

A Character dining experience with Esmeralda, Meg and Jane. Or a Villain dining experience. I bet people would love that.

So those are my ideas. Imagine the ideas people who actually work at Disney would have because they know the parks and have experience. I just watched a lot of videos and know Hunchback fairly well. So while I don’t think any of these ideas will ever happen I had fun making this list.
Maybe I should do this with other lesser represented Disney movies.

Clopin Topsy Turvy Disney Hunchback Notre Dame image picture
Clopin Topsy Turvy Disney Hunchback Notre Dame

To be honest there is a not lot of Hunchback theming or references across the Disney parks but there isn’t exactly nothing either. Call-backs to Disney’s Hunchback are there if you’re in the right place at the right time. I’m not saying this is good or bad, it’s just how it is currently.    

So this is a list of Hunchback references across multiple Disney Theme parks that are currently there (to my knowledge as of this post) and Hunchback stuff that was there in the past.  

Please Note, this list maybe not be complete. I have no clue about merch or pins or any expert information. (Though there has been Hunchback pins)

Starting with what you can still see at present;

In Disneyland, there is  Clopin’s Music Box in Fantasy Faire. It’s plays Topsy Turvy. 

Clopin's Festival of Foods, Hong Kong Disneyland picture image
Clopin’s Festival of Foods, Hong Kong Disneyland

In Hong Kong Disney there is a Clopin themed restaurant  called Clopin’s Festival of Food. This restaurant serves Chinese food that includes Guangdong BBQ, noodles and wok-fried dishes. This is located in Fantasyland.   

At Walt Disney World, the Magic Kingdom’s Nighttime Firework show called Happily Ever which includes projections on Cinderella Castle along with music features Out There with Hunchback Clips. And the video I saw of it, the crowd loved seeing Hunchback in it. They cheered loudly for Quasimodo. 

At Walt Disney World, Frollo appears in Fantasmic at Hollywood Studios. I should point out that this version of Fantasmic has not been updated in a while so while Frollo is featured with the villains here he is not at Disneyland’s version of Fantasmic. 

At Disneysea, which is part of Tokyo Disneyland, Hellfire can be heard a little during their version of Fantasmic. It’s during a part with fire so it makes sense. 

Past Hunchback Stuff

There was the Hollywood Studios Hunchback show at Walt Disney World.  This show ran from 1996 to 2002. 

There was the Hunchback of Notre dame Topsy Turvy Cavalcade at Disneyland. This  was a mini Hunchback parade that had two floats. 

At DisneyLand Paris there was the Carnival of Fools Parade. 

At DisneyLand Paris for their 5th anniversary in 1997, Sleeping Beauty Castle was decorated in a Hunchback Theme or Festival of Fools style.

At the Full of Villains Unleashed Hades Hangout show, which was halloween event, Frollo appears. he’s number 22 in the line up.      

The themes Disney seem to go with for Hunchback is either Topsy Turvy or Frollo. Curious.
Though it make sense. Topsy Turvy was used heavily in the marketing of the film and Frollo/Hellfire stole the show a bit. 

I maybe the only person to find this remotely interesting but at EPCOT in Walt Disney World there is a part of the park called The World Showcase, (that’s not the interesting part.) It’s made up of Pavilions that are themed on a specific country or region. 

However today were are only going to consider the France Pavilion and the Italy Pavilion. Both pavilions were opened on October 1st 1982, so they were there on opening day. The France pavilion is very heavily themed on the golden age dating from the mid 1800s to early 1900s before WWI. A  Parisienne neighborhood full of impressionists and the Eiffel Tower.

The Italy Pavilion is more of a collection of buildings that evoke architecture from all over Italy. Like a recreation of the Doge’s Palace. The Doge’s Palace is an example of Venetian Gothic architecture. It was established in 1340 and has had many remodels throughout the centuries.

The point I’m getting at is that Hunchback of Notre Dame characters would look more in keeping with their movie outside the Doge’s Palace at Italy Pavilion than in the France Pavilion. I do not think that if Disney had the Hunchback characters at EPCOT they would place then there. In fact, Phoebus has been seen at the France pavilion before. And logically it makes so no brand sense to have them near the Italy Pavilion, it’s just an aesthetics thing that the characters would look more at home in front of gothic architecture than Belle Epoque or Art Nouveau. 

However if you’re Disney bounding as a Hunchback character, maybe take a picture outside the Doge’s Palace at the Italy pavilion just for fun.          

Beauty and the Beast Something there picture image
Belle and the Beast

There is a lot of discourse around Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Two elements  that get addressed are the Beast’s age relative to his curse, I.E was he eleven when he was cursed or an adult and Belle’s desire for adventure in the great wide somewhere.

First lets consider the Beast’s age. Technically both readings are correct according supplemental media. In the 2017 version makes it clear from the word go that he was an adult BUT in the christmas mid-quel he was a kid, who was cursed on Christmas. So  both readings are correct in a way. 

But let’s just consider the 1991 movie and ignore the other movies. The first clue that points to his age at the time of the curse is the narrator saying that the enchanted rose would bloom until his 21st year.  And then Lumiere saying that they have been cursed for ten years. Which means he was eleven.  It’s kinda hard to ignore that. Unless you don’t like math, like me.

However maybe Lumiere was merely saying that for while the servants carried on with business as usual and it’s only been in the last ten years they gave up trying and the narrator’s line indicated that Beast was a beast for 20 years before the rose bloomed. Or maybe this movie has no real concept of time. It’s an enchanted castle after all. 

There are also a few other elements that sight that the Beast was an adult at the time of the curse or the enchantress was just really mean-sprited.  First there is the portrait which him as an adult. It’s hard to argue against that one. But maybe it was an enchanted portrait that aged with the Beast? Though if that was a thing in the curse it would have gotten mentioned in the narrative, I mean the mirror did. The simplest explanation is usually the correct one. It’s was a portrait of the Beast as an adult human, that is not a child’s portrait. 

Then there is a Chip. How old is Chip? Because if Beast was cursed as child then Chip would have either been born a teacup or spent most of his life not knowing he was ever human. Seems cruel, you go through your whole life thinking you’re a talking teacup only to learn that you were once a human, a creature Chip would have never even seen before. Though Chip being in favor of breaking the curse indicates that he remembers being human. Though that would mean he been a child for about 20 years. 

Also there is whole aspect of aging within the castle. If Beast was an adult at the time of this curse that means no one was aging, which seems to be the case since Beast recognized everyone when they were cured.
I just want to point out Mid-quel ignores this, only the Beast ages no one else.

Then again you can just sight enchanted castle and maybe no one in the castle knows what year it is anymore or their ages.  

Belle Beauty and the Beast  picture image
Belle

Then there is Belle. Her line about wanting adventure gets thrown around but next line gets ignore. So she wants adventure but she needs someone who understand her.
Want vs Need is a pretty basic concept. So some people think Belle got the short end of the narrative stick because she didn’t get adventure in the great wide somewhere.  Which is the point, it’s what she wanted not what she needed. 

The bad part of this the 2017 version trying to fit this in with the book of teleportation. I suppose they could have made it more of thing but they just used it  to show how Belle’s mother died by illness. Adventure? A minor trip to Paris for backstory is the correction for Belle wanting adventure? 

What the 2017 version could have done is changed it so that enchantress was sneaky and curing the Beast required a quest but only Belle could figure out what the magical macguffins were to break the curse. So Beast and Belle would have gone minor adventures to learn and grow and bond and fall in love.  And in the end it’s still love that cures him. Then again that would have changed things too much and 2017 version was more concerned with fixing plot holes that didn’t really need fixing. But it made money so doesn’t really matter. 

In the scheme of things these elements don’t really matter, they do not change the overall enjoyment of the movie. So if you think Beast was child or adult at the time of his curse either reading of the text is fine. If you wanted Belle to have more adventure, can’t fault you for that either.   

This is the exact reason I still have Google Alerts.

Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image
Quasimodo during Out There Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Disney announced today that Hunchback is the next film in their roaster to get a live-action remake.  I have been waiting for this day for a long time.   

Here is what is know so far. Josh Gad is produce the film. Just a quick note back in late 2015 I did a post which discussed a fan casting that appeared in my google alerts and Josh Gad was their pick for Quasimodo
you can read it here

Josh Gad for Quasimodo picture image
Josh Gad

Now I couldn’t see this casting pick at the time but Gad is an actor so if he DOES follow suit like so many men who have played or have aspired to play Quasimodo to showcase their acting prowess and have a hand in the production, he might be fine in the role.
Just a note, he may not play Quasimodo but there is a trend that men spearheading Hunchback versions do so to play the  role, Gad may just want to produce, we will have to wait and see.

Another piece of information we have is they Tony- winning Playwright David Henry Hwang is writing the screenplay and the film will simply be called Hunchback. Like the 1997 version.

Hwang’s work include Chinglish, Yellow Face, Kung Fu, Golden Child, The Dance of the Railroad. He also has worked on Aida, Flower Drum Song, Disney’s Tarzan and M. Butterfly. 

It would seem that the  remake will take its cue from the 1996 movie and the book and not the stage production.    

Also this version will be a musical with Menken and Schwartz heading the music. So that is good.

What do you think? Are you over the Disney live-action remake trend? Are you excited? Are you afraid Disney is going to ruin it?
Thoughts and feelings welcome.

Source – https://www.cnet.com/news/hunchback-of-notre-dame-next-to-get-disney-remake-treatment/
Source – https://deadline.com/2019/01/hunchback-movie-disney-live-action-david-henry-hwang-josh-gad-alan-menken-stephen-schwartz-1202536031/

Esmeralda from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image
Esmeralda from Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame

I have been obsessed lately with Jenny Nicholson’s video on Pandora- The World of Avatar at Disney World’s Animal Kingdom. Also she drops a Hunchback reference, so if you haven’t seen that video, go see it. I have seen it multiple times and it’s and it’s like an hour long and I have no attention span.

In Jenny’s video she talks about the history of Animal Kingdom and how there was supposed to a medieval fantasy section called Beastly Kingdom as the concept of the park was explore animals of the present, past and myth but they ran out of money and went for the Dinosaur part. Long story short, after Disney lost out on Harry Potter to Universal, the management of Disney went for another cultural significant movie franchise experience that was insanely immersive, so they went with Avatar, not the Airbender one, the Dances with Wolves in space.

Unlike Harry Potter or Star Wars, the buzz and staying power of Avatar haven’t held up over time so it’s odd that Disney just went for this concept but the land looks really cool and does speak to the fantasy element and conservation angle. But it also of speaks to Disney’s influencing power. It maybe a generalization but kids haven’t seen the movie, it was rated PG-13, came out nearly a decade ago and is really only good in an imax setting but Disney went for it and kids can now adopt Banshee puppets for $65 dollars a pop, $90 if you include the perch. FYI I think the Banshee puppets are cute.

It really fascinates me that Disney pushed so hard on this project and yet a lot of their own properties get ignored within the parks, like Hunchback. So I have been on a slight deep drive into Disney parks, learning what I can about them, mostly via Youtube videos since I have no plans as right now to go to any of the parks.

First let’s talk about the Characters, the Face characters, though I guess Frollo and Quasimodo are not technically Face Characters but all I mean is characters that you meet. The Question is can you even see/meet/greet any of Hunchback Characters at any of the Disney parks worldwide?

According to  Fill my Passport, you can but not a Disney Land or Disney World. This information is a bit old as it’s from 2017.

According to Fill my Passport Quasimodo makes extremely  rare appearance at Disneyland Paris. Esmeralda can often see at Tokyo Disney and once in a while at Disneyland Paris. Frollo can be see at Halloween at Tokyo Disney. He used at appear at Disney USA parks during Halloween but not so much now. Clopin can be see at Disneyland Paris. And Phoebus doesn’t show up anymore. Fill my Passport as talks about other rare Disney characters in the Disney park so do check out that blog.

However videos from a year ago show a rare meet and greet with Esmeralda and Clopin. It seemed to have occurred at DVC Moonlight Magic Special Event during after hours in the Magic Kingdom, in early 2018.


Here is a meet and greet with Phoebus from 3 years ago at the France pavilion at Epcot.

Hunchback characters meet and greets seem to be extremely rare these days so if you see a hunchback character walking around try to see them, if you like that experience.

Djali Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Djali Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

Which Song from Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame are you?

Which one of the Laverne’s birds are you? Bet you didn’t know they had names!

Which one of the Gargoyles’ Drawings are you?

Which Bell of Notre Dame are you?

Are you Team Achilles or Team Snowball?

Are you a Quasimodo super fan?

Which creepy Hellfire judge are you?

Are you obsessed with Esmeralda as much as Frollo? The results are always No but there is a spectrum

Which one of Djali’s expressions are you?

Are you a bum, thief or strumpet?

 

 

Does anyone wish these quizzes  were real?

 

(disclaimer – this is a joke and Laverne’s birds do not have names nor do the creepy specter judges but the Bells do)

Alas there are no Hunchback of Notre Dame ugly Christmas sweater just yet but since this blog has a Disney leaning here are some Disney Ugly Christmas Sweaters that you can get right now via amazon.

Also I had wanted to showcase a Notre Dame Fighting Irish sweater just to be funny but I couldn’t find one. But there are a TON of Disney Ugly Christmas Sweaters, because of course there is, it’s Disney and Christmas.

Disney Villains Good Bad Ugly Christmas Sweater

Disney Villains Good Bad Ugly Christmas Sweater picture image

Disney Villains Good Bad Ugly Christmas Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disney Snow White All Dwarfs Ugly Christmas Sweater Fleece

Disney Snow White Dwarfs Ugly Christmas Sweater picture image

Disney Snow White Dwarfs Ugly Christmas Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disney Men’s Mickey Mouse Ugly Christmas Sweater

Disney Men's Mickey Mouse Ugly Christmas Sweater picture image

Disney Men’s Mickey Mouse Ugly Christmas Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disney Frozen Olaf Sven Ugly Christmas Sweater Sweatshirt

Disney Frozen Olaf & Sven Ugly Christmas Sweater picture image

Disney Frozen Olaf & Sven Ugly Christmas Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because I love Star Wars there are two but there are many, many…many more.

Star Wars Official X-Wing Vs. Tie Fighter Christmas Jumper/Ugly Sweater

Star Wars Official X-Wing Vs. Tie Fighter Christmas Sweater picture image

Star Wars Official X-Wing Vs. Tie Fighter Christmas Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Star Wars Men’s Darth Vader Holiday Sweater

Star Wars Men's Darth Vader Holiday Sweater picture image

Star Wars Men’s Darth Vader Holiday Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I ever do make a Quasimodo/Hunchback Ugly Christmas sweater I will post here because where else would I put it? And it will be very ugly because I suck at art. Of course you can always get my Quasimodo Ornament at Zazzle  for your Christmas tress.

Happy Holidays!!!!!!

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

You know who in the Disney line-up would make the perfect Disney Princess? Who embodies the ideal of what it means to be a lovely human being? Quasimodo.

In all seriousiness ,Quasimodo meets all the qualifications for Disney Princess-dom, whatever that means and to be fair to this idea  the official rules don’t actually make a stipulation that the “Princess” has to be a female. It;s implied but not stated.  But given that Quasimodo is presented as a man lets consider him and the only female human character isn the movie, Esmeralda and   lets’ look at the the official rules and the meta guidelines.

Rule one states that they must have a primary role in an animated movie. I think Esmeralda and Quasimodo both have that, especially Quasimodo. Check

Rule two states the character must be human or become human. Check for both Esmeralda and Quasimodo. Especially given the thesis of Hunchback is What makes a monster and what makes a man? Check

Rule three is they can’t be a sequel only character. Yeah, I don’t think I have to explain this one. Check

Rule four says that the character must be royal, marry royal or perform an act of heroism. As we all know the act of heroism was only there so Mulan could be in the line up. I would say that Esmeralda going against authority to save Quasimodo from the mob and Quasimodo saving Esmeralda as well as defending the cathedral as well as bring down a corrupt public official hell bent on rape,  murder, and genocide is an act of heroism. So Check!

Rule five the characters must be from a box office hit i.e. the movie had to have made money. Because Disney loves it money, like most companies.  But since the rule uses the words “Box Office” which means movie ticket sales  we have to look at those numbers. These amounts are from www.boxofficemojo.com.

Now I know what you might be think, Hunchback didn’t make a lot of money at the box office. Well this might surprise  some but Hunchback made more at the Box Office than some movies that have official Disney princesses. Hunchback made $325,338,851 worldwide. Mulan made $304,320,254 worldwide. The Princess and the Frog made $267,045,765 worldwide. I will concede that both Mulan and The Princess and the Frog did better domestically than Hunchback but Box Office seems be in place to explain why Eilonwy from The Black Cauldron  and Kida from Atlantis are not up for discussion as part of the line-up as they are both actual Princesses in their movies. While Hunchback isn’t popular it still made more money than a movie that Disney bent-over backwards to allow in the line up.

So there are the official rules which Esmeralda and Quasimodo and all pass BUT let’s look at some meta rules or guidelines that appear in the Wreck-it Ralph 2 trailer because Disney like to poke fun at its self.        

In the trailer  Pocahontas asks Vanellope what kind of Princess she is, these are the questions asked to her but the official Pincess and Elsa who isn’t one but who cares.

Magic Hair?   No.

Magic Hands? No.

Do animals talk to you? Quasimodo talks to a bird and Esmeralda talk to Djali the goat, so check      

Poisoned ? Who can say? Maybe Quasimodo was poisoned but no.

Cursed?  Who can say? Maybe Quasimodo was cursed but no.

Kidnapped or enslaved? This one is weird since Belle wasn’t either. It was her idea to trade herself in for her father and she wasn’t enslaved and either was Rapunzel. But Quasimodo falls into the Belle/Rapunzel brand of princess So check there.

Do people assume all your problems got solved because a big strong man showed up?   It’s a meta thing but one would have to watch the movie and look into the relationship dynamics. But did Quasimodo’s problem get solved because of a man? Quasimodo’s problem was abusive parental figure. I guess Phoebus and Esmeralda helped him to see that Frollo sucked? Esmeralda was aided by Phoebus. But were her problem solved by him? Considering she acks for help for her people and outcasts, no in the long run but maybe the fall of Frollo helped in short-term?  So yes to this one?

Anyway,  They get a pass for the meta qualifications, since it just seems like one is all you need but who knows? They are not hard and fast rules.

Should Quasimodo and Esmeralda be officially Disney Princesses? Yes they pass all the rules except the only rule that matters; Disney doesn’t like The Hunchback of Notre Dame because it’s not popular. The rules are just a front. After all Elsa and Anna are not in the line up, they have their own franchise that makes money. They don’t need the Disney Princess label.     

The reality is while it’s nice to muse about a male character being in the princess line up it’s not going to happen and Esmeralda was at some point in the line up but got dropped like Alice. It is interesting however to see how little the rules matter when they are all met and still nothing. If everything the rules just look hypocritical to allow one character through or bar others.