The Swan Princess picture image

The Swan Princess

The Swan Princess is another movie that I mildly enjoyed as a kid. I didn’t love it but I didn’t hate it, I think my mom did though. But re-watching this, I still don’t hate it but I really don’t like it as it has a lot of issues in addition to it ripping off that sweet Disney formula.

It was released in 1994 by Nest. It was very loosely based on Swan Lake and tanked at the box office because Disney is a jerk and re-released The Lion King.

Odette Transforming into a Swan The Swan Princess  picture image

Odette Transforming into a Swan

The plot is thus, Princess Odette and Prince Derek have a sort of understanding that that they should marry to unite their kingdoms but instead of just arranging a marriage outright their parents try to get them to fall in love by having them spend their summers together. Eventually they grown up and Derek’s hormones kick in and wants to marry Odette because she is pretty but when asked if that’s all that matter, Derek derps and Odette peaces out.

As Odette and father ride home they are attacked by Rothbart who wants Odette’s kingdom. Derek finds Odette’s dying dad who gives Derek some vaugeness about their attacker and tells him that Odette is gone.

Rothbart who has been working on this grand scheme to get Odette’s kingdom for a while now has turned her into swan. She can only turned back into a human when the moonlight  touches her on the lake. To break the spell, she either has to agree to marry Rothbart so they can legally rule the kingdom or her true love has to make a vow of everlasting love and prove it to the world. I can’t tell you how lame this is but moving on.

Odette now has some pond pals, Speed, a kind turtle and egomaniac frog named Jean-Bob. A puffin named Puffin (so fucking clever) also joins them too. They try to help Odette to break her spell by getting Derek to follow her and Puffin back to the lake, so Rothbart’s lair was like 10 miles away from Derek’s castle at max? Not so far apart after all. In fact closer than her Kingdom.

Anywho, Derek and Odette somehow love each other deeply even after she left him for being an idiot. So Odette gives Derek the low-down and they plan to break the spell by having him make the vow at a ball his mother is planning. Rothbart shows up to asks Odette to marry him as is his nightly custom and she agrees so she can go to the ball but Rothbart heard their plan and tells her there is no moon the next night so she can’t even sneak off as a human but he locks her up for good measure.

Rothbart decides that he done playing “nice,” kidnapping and murder are apparently nice,  and decides that his servant will go to ball as Odette so Derek will make the vow to the wrong girl and Odette will die, kinds works agaist his plans but then again if he could just turn his severant into Odette why did he need Odette to marry him in the first place?

Rothbart’s plan goes off without a hitch except Odette escapes but she can’t do anything as she watches Derek makes the vow to the fake Odette. Derek follows her back to the lake as she’s dying and Derek challenges Rothbart so Odette can live. Derek defeats Rothbart who transforms into the great animal that was a major plot point that I didn’t really mention. Derek learns that he loves Odette for her kindness and courage and she lives, they marry and Jean-Bob is still a frog … he thought he was a prince.

Odette and Rothbart The Swan Princess  picture image

Odette and Rothbart

Saying this movie is clunky is understatement, this movie is full of characters that have no logic. Rothbart’s plan is to marry Odette so he can have her kingdom despite that he killed her father and has her captive, have you ever heard of the right of conquest because he is pretty much there.

Also Rothbart’s plan of forcing her marring to him by turning her into a swan by day is silly. Literally, all she really has to do is agree to marry him and then arrest him when they got to her kingdom as she is the sole heir, I think her people and guards will listen to her over him. But No, she has to be defiant and declare she would rather die than marry him.

Then we have the vow. Derek makes a vow of love to Odette but because she wasn’t standing there it is voided? I mean he said her name to fuck sake. This spell is so stupid or it was written by strict contract lawyers. Why doe she have to be there for the vow to work? Could Derek have written a letter to every ruler in the world that says he loves Odette? I mean written contracts are better than verbal ones or does she be there as he writes it? The spell is so weird and demanding.

How long had Odette been at Rothbart’s lair? Also why did Rothbart gives Odette free run of the place? Where was he during the day? Why was the moon full and then the next day it’s it like a new moon, not kidding literally a day passes between the full moon and new moon. Oh this hurts.

Derek and Odette The Swan Princess picture image

Derek and Odette as Kids

Let’s get back on track because in addition to the lack logic that is pervasive to the characters there are more problems like the characters are boring but the movie operates on the assumption that they are not boring especially where our lovely Princess is concerned.

This movie builds up Odette’s and Derek’s personality as bitter children who are forced to hang out together. In the song This is my Idea, we see Derek and Odette evolving as characters from little kids to adolescents. It’s nice to see that they don’t like each other but you get the sense they do like each other in some ways but that all comes crashing down when they have to be pretty and in love.

Seriously, despite the hints that they could like each, the love and wanting to marry each other comes out of no where but that is not the problem. After they enter the realm of pretty “adults” the become devoid of the personalities that song was trying to establish. So when Odette asks what else Derek likes about her and he can’t site anything because it doesn’t matter. We know that she was at least clever and decent aim with a slingshot but after that point Odette never displays any personality traits she had in the song.

To be frank, at each interval in the song, Odette has a different personality. When she is a little kid she a polite yet rough little girl, then she is awkward tomboy to a flirty clever dare I say even vindictive teenager. I can’t truly blame Derek for not knowing what else is there to her it since it ever changing and then gone.

Odette with Speedy and Jean-Bob The Swan Princess  picture image

Odette with Speedy and Jean-Bob

I’ll get to more on Odette proper in a second but let’s talk about the other characters. Derek is he’s like, You know! How about, And then, Am I right? Seriously though, he’s a boring hero. He is also cocky and a good marksmen but not very smart when it comes to the ladies. Rothbart is supposed to be smart and evil but we already proven that he’s not. The pond pals are boring though I enjoy Jean-Bob’s selfish antics, it’s a nice counterpoint to Speed who is nice but I admit the pond pals parts are boring. Derek’s mother and best friend are weird and amusing at points but Rogers is the most likable character and wholly unimportant to the narrative though he did suggest that BS arrow maneuver but some other character could have done that.

Odette The Swan Princess  picture image

Odette

And then we come to Odette. Odette would like you to believe that there is more her than being pretty. At the end of the flick Derek says that he loves her for her kindness and courage.

Odette does exhibits some kindness as she saves Jean-Bob from the crocodiles, takes an arrow out Puffin’s wings and tried to help Derek’s friend escape from Rothbart. Basically she isn’t dick, not sure if this equals kindness, I mean she’s not a mean. Is the absence of meanness kindness? Also her courage is in her own self interest. Odette doesn’t really go out of her way her way to be kind or helpful to others.

Its Derek’s arc really, he needed to learn how to articulate his thoughts about his supposed true love. “I love you baby for your vague positive attributes.” Kindness and courage are good starting places for a character but Odette hardly showcases these attributes, she’s just bland and pretty.

Derek and Odette The Swan Princess  picture image

Derek and Odette

As far as the songs go, they are okay at best. Most are meh. I would like Far Longer than Forever if I believed in the depth of their romance. Hands down the best is This is my idea, The rest are meh and forgettable. Though I remembered Princesses on Parade for the sexist connotations.

The animation is nice for the most part. Though it’s kind jarring with the hyper-ness versus the soft and sweet moments, but hell it could been worse, it could have been so much worse.

Derek and Odette The Swan Princess  picture image

Derek and Odette

The thing is this movie actually has some good set-ups and pays off, like that thing with bow and arrow is set-up and there is a pay off. The movie probably would have been stronger if they had either had Odette and Derek love grow more organically OR follow the ballet where we see them meet and develop their relationship that’s from point of romantic interest.

It’s admirable that the film tried to have them start as bitter kids but since the gradation of affection is jarring and that they love each other in a second it’s not strong. Since the film  centers on their romance having that fail means the movie fails as whole.

Odette The Swan Princess  picture image

Odette

The Swan Princess is a clunky yet pretty mess of a film that tries its damndest to suggest that these are well-thought out characters in a compelling story but it fails to do this and in then end what else is there but its beauty.

And yes, it does annoy me that they antagonist crocodiles don’t talk.

Today’s  horoscope comes from the book using the Delirium chapter.

Frollo (Alain Cuny), 1956 The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo (Alain Cuny), 1956 The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Claude, in the state of hallucination in which he found himself, believed that he saw, that he saw with his actual eyes, the bell tower of hell; the thousand lights scattered over the whole height of the terrible tower seemed to him so many porches of the immense interior furnace; the voices and noises which escaped from it seemed so many shrieks, so many death groans. Then he became alarmed, he put his hands on his ears that he might no longer hear, turned his back that he might no longer see, and fled from the frightful vision with hasty strides.”

Be wary where you walk today, who may see very spooky things

 

BUY The Hunchback of Notre Dame

By now you should know that the characters in the 1986 version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame are not rich, complex or by any means interesting and that’s just main characters who get screen time and apparent motivations. Considering this version misses with the main characters. the minor characters don’t have a snow flake’s chance in hell to be interesting and yet they do as result weird writing.

Phoebus

Phoebus 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

1986 Phoebus

Phoebus in gets the most important role of the minor characters. He does his Phoebus duties of saving Esmeralda, getting stab and conveniently not saying anything about not dying.

It weird that Phoebus didn’t say anything when he walked by as Esmeralda is about to die only to clear the air at the end. It also seems like he was sincere about Esmeralda unlike book Phoebus.

Did he just notice her execution or her trial? I find that hard to believe but it was convenient because Quasimodo has to save her. It’s just a head scratcher. I wish this Phoebus had more of a character then being a plot point because the bad writing could have made him interesting.

Gringoire

Gringoire 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

1986 Gringoire

He whines and marries Esmeralda and is bummed that she doesn’t like him. I don’t think he adds anything. Well strictly speaking he tells Frollo about Esmeralda and Phoebus’ meeting but really, Frollo could have overheard that just as easily. And Gringoire is not even shown after that point anyway.

Djali

Djali 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

1986 Djali

Djali is considered Esmeralda’s double but not here as Esmeralda herself calls Djali a “dirty little beast” in fact that is her first line, Djali misses the marks as they depict her as brown and not white with glided horns. Other than that Djali does her tricks and gets Esmeralda in trouble.

Clopin

Clopin 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

1986 Clopin

Clopin is ONLY in the Court of Miracles scene. So because he is self-contain scene that they place straight to the book, it a decent short depiction that doesn’t get muddled. Best depiction in the 1986 version!

Next Time – The Voice Acting

Esmeralda 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

1986 Esmeralda

Book 10, Chapter 5, The Retreat where Louis of France says his Prayers

Louis XI (Tully Marshall) Hunchback of Notre Dame 1923 picture image

Louis XI (Tully Marshall)
Hunchback of Notre Dame 1923

I hate this chapter, it’s so boring and long. We learn that King Louis is an old prick. News reaches him about the attack which he don’t know is on Notre Dame but he thinks on Provost. Gringoire is taken prisoner but Louis grants him mercy. When he learns that the attack is on Notre Dame, which is a like an attack on him, he gets mad. He, like Quasimodo, think the attack is about wanting a mere girl’s death so he orders it. See how this lie just exploded.

Fortunately, no movie has really done this scene because it’s boring. I GUESS the 1939 verison sort of did it but not really.

Book 10, Chapter 6, “The Chive in the City”

Robert Marien as Frollo & Dennis Ten Vergert as Gringoire 2012 Asian Tour Cast Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Robert Marien as Frollo & Dennis Ten Vergert as Gringoire 2012 Asian Tour Cast Notre Dame de Paris

Yay, a short chapter! Gringoire meets up with Frollo who is decked out in his creepy robe. The name of this chapter refers a password. Basically the two are about to sneak into Notre Dame. Well not so much sneak as Frollo has a key.

Again not too many movie versions have this chapter, in fact I don’t think any do.

 

 

Book 10, Chapter 7, Chateaupers to the Rescue

Anthony Quinn as Quasimodo finding Esmeralda gone 1956 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Anthony Quinn as Quasimodo finding Esmeralda gone

Yay, another short chapter! Quasimodo has all but given up hope of saving Esmeralda from the Court of Miracles but then he see Phoebus fighting them off and the vagrants are defeated. Hooray, or is it? Because when Quasimodo rushes to knell at Esmeralda’s feet she is gone, Dun-Dun-Dun.

The soldiers do come at the end of the attack but since Esmeralda is typically still in the church we don’t see Quasimodo’s reaction. Aside from the 1956, 1977 and Notre Dame de Paris where she does leave the cathedral, Quasimodo usually has to fight off Frollo who is trying to drag Esmeralda off.

The Princess and the Goblin picture image

The Princess and the Goblin

I’m not sure how to feel about The Princess and the Goblin. It feels like a lot different ideas merged in one somewhat hastily thought narrative. Considering it was based on a rather strange book, I’m blaming screenwriters too much.

It was released in the U.K. in 1992 and in the States in 1994. It was a Hungry/Wales/ Japan co-production.

Irene and Turnip The Princess and the Goblin picture image

Irene and Turnip

So Princess Irene is a lonely little girl who only has her nurse, Lootie and her cat, Turnip for company. One day she runs into some goblins and is saved by a mining boy name Curdie. He tells her that Goblins and their pets can’t stand singing. He takes her back to the castle and she offers to give him a kiss but Lootie interrupts.

The next day Irene finds a secret door that lead her to the magic spirit of her great-great -grandmother.

Curdie returns to mines where he works with his dad. He overhears some goblins talking about building a dam and that their weakness in their feet. He also overhears that that the Goblins King, Queen and Prince plan to flood the mine and the plan to have Prince Froglip marry Irene so he can rule the sun-people. Curdie gets captured and thrown behind a large rock.

Irene continues to visit her great-great-grandmother and she gives Irene some magic invisible thread that will leads her to her own magic. She then decides to sneak off to follow the thread which leads her to where Curdie is being held in the heart of the goblins’ village.

They make it back to the castle but the goblins attack and flood the mines which gets redirected to the castle. But they defeat the goblins and Irene gives Curdie a peck on the cheek.

Irene and Curdie The Princess and the Goblin picture image

Irene and Curdie

It’s just a weird movie that seems to hinge at a plot. Irene is not that concern with goblins, she is more obsessed with her magical great-great-grandmother. I think the issue is that with a title like The Princess and the Goblin you would except the princess and the goblin to have interactions with each other but they don’t. The goblin prince, Froglip kidnaps her but we don’t see them interact, hell we don’t see kidnapping.

The title is more like a list, there is a princess and goblins, so the title is more from Curdie’s perspective.

Irene's Great-Great Grandmother The Princess and the Goblin picture image

Irene’s Great-Great Grandmother

Curdie as character is boring. He is a pragmatic but that is all I get from him. The goblins also don’t have personalities. They are just gross and mean. I got more of a sense of character from the weird dinosaur thing that gives Curdie a ride, it’s at least helpful and sweet. The great-great-grandmother has a bit of a personality as she is helpful, aloof and somewhat silly. I wish we could have gotten a name more than great-great-grandmother for her. Lootie is annoying and Turnip is an adorable cat.

Irene The Princess and the Goblin picture image

Irene

And then there is Irene. Irene is adventurous and brave as she just goes for following that thread. She could just be naive but her trust in her great-great-grandmother is rewarded when it does lead her out of the mountains. She is also not shy about kisses. Unfortunately I just don’t find her all that compelling.

Irene and Turnip The Princess and the Goblin picture image

Irene and Turnip

The animation is not great. It’s not bad, but it’s not remarkable. The sound mixing is weird. For some reason it really apparent. I can’t really describe my issue with it but it’s distracting in way.

There was only one song and it was bland.

Froplip The Princess and the Goblin picture image

Froplip

The Princess and the Goblin is just a weird meandering movie that tries to do way too much and actually does very little. I’m left confused by it.

Who else was uncomfortable with that random goblin licking Lootie on her chest? I was.

It’s October, Halloween Time! I maintain that Esmeralda is a great costume for halloween especially the Disney version, you can go here to get tips for Disney Esmeralda costumes.  Gyspy Fortune teller Costumes are also great, go here to see awesome options Fortune telling costumes. And of course you could also go for a ghloulish undead Esmeralda go here for tips for that.

Of course, there are two other movie Esmeralda costumes that would be fun choices for Halloween, the 1956 and the 1923 version. Both are simple and you can pretty much buy what you need or go to your closet.

Gina Lollobrigida as Esmeralda, 1956 Hunchback of Notre Dame , picture image

Gina Lollobrigida as Esmeralda, 1956 Hunchback of Notre Dame

The 1956 costume is bold and striking. It reads Gypsy or at least dancer in  a modern yet classic way. You will need a basic red short sleeve shirt, long red skirt, a leather belt with gold details, a dagger, and coin earring and bracelet. Pretty simple yet sexy. You can add the veil and a hip scarf if you want.

Here are some options for the 1956 costume that you can buy on amazon.

Simple Red Shirt
This shirt while simple is the right cut for the 1956 costume. The belt  will help create the shape of the costume.

Red Skirt

This skirt would be a good option has it has a nice jagged hemline which look like the 56 version and it moves well.

Also comes in purple for Disney version.

Red Satin Skirt
This skirt is also a very  good option. It’s simpler but it still lovely.

Hip Scarf
You can add a belly dancing hip scarf to make it fun but you don’t have too.

Brown & Gold Belt
A brown belt should do the trick but a brown belt with some gold details would be perfect. This is a great option if you don’t have something in your closet already, and you can wear it for every day wear.

Coin Bracelet

The 1956 Esmeralda wears a lot of coin bracelet but one will be enough. You don’t have to use coin jewelry, any gold bracelet should be fine.

Hoops with Coin Dangles

Much like the bracelet if you can get coin hoops that would the best but just plain gold hoops would work well.

Just add a little dagger and you’re set! Perfect 1956 Esmeralda

Patsy Ruth Miller as Esmeralda 1923 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Patsy Ruth Miller as Esmeralda 1923 Hunchback of Notre Dame

The 1923 verison is an 1920 take on Gyspy costumes which makes it a kind of whimsical and on a fashion trend since with Downton Abbey and the 2013 The Great Gatsby  movie, the 1920’s are an in style. The 1923 version is a little tricker than 1956 to buy for but you can get the idea. Since the 1923 version is black and white you can pick any colors you want but one poster for the movie depicted her costume as yellow and purple, so that is what I would suggest.

All you need is a short sleeve loose white blouse, a yellow skirt that hits roughly below the knees but above the ankles, a vest or bolero and hip scarf and a long beaded necklace.

Here are some options for the 1923 costume that you can buy on amazon.

Cotton Semi-Sheer Short Sleeve Blouse

This blouse is a great shape for the 1923 costume. The details are also very nice.

White Loose-fitting Blouse

This blouse is more simple but it would still be a good choice for the 1923 Esmeralda.   It’s also made from bamboo.

Yellow Embroidered Gypsy Skirt

This Yellow Skirt is cute and shorter. Its details are very bohemian.

Yellow Tiered Ribbon Gypsy Boho Skirt

This Yellow Skirt is longer than the other but it just as boho.

Yellow Knitted Bolero

The 1923 Esmeralda wears a little vest but you can get a yellow bolero. If you wish you can cut off the sleeves or leave them on if you want.  This one is made from knit so it would be harder to remove the sleeves but the details of the knitting look nice and would match the bohemian style of the costume.

Yellow Bolero

With this  Bolero it would be easier to remove the sleeves if you want a more accurate version of the 1923 costume.

Purple Coin Hip Scarf

The coin hip scarf isn’t 100% to the hip scarf she wears but it’s fun.

Purple Necklace

The 1923 Esmeralda wears lots of long necklaces so you can fun layering what ever you have. But I would recommend trying to get some yellow and purple in there in you opt for that color scheme.

Don’t forget your tambourine

Frollo 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

To be perfectly honest, I could have just had one post on the characters from the 1986 version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame as there is just not that much to the main characters and even less to side characters. However for whatever reason, I really just wanted to discuss this Frollo.

Frollo 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

This Frollo isn’t exactly interesting, I mean he’s a pale intimation of  book and even the Disney version but this Frollo navigates the thin line that kid movies Frollo must walk. The line between obession, lust and being “kid-friendly.” Disney Frollo got any with this because in addition to wanting to bone Esmeralda he covered it by being mad at her and that is what the 1986 Frollo does except he is not as explicit in his desires as the Disney verion.

Frollo 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

So unlike the Disney version, the 1986 version is a priest which is probably why he is less direct about his wants as with a priest they need to tone it down. Pious Judges can get away with a bit more. Also like in the book, 86 Frollo has his creepy cell, though in this version it’s underground like in a crypt. Ok… that’s a weird change but whatever at least he has one. But unlike other Frollos the most specific this Frollo gets with his desire towards Esmeralda is that she fills him with dreams and makes him feel things.

Frollo & Esmeralda 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Frollo & Esmeralda

What these dreams and feelings are we don’t know. I assume they are romantic-ish……. romantic is odd word for Frollo but I just don’t get the crazed madding lust from this version. I get he is annoyed with her but in any case it’s very toned down.

Esmeralda and Frollo, sort of the Red Door scene 1986 the Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda and Frollo, sort of the Red Door scene

Frollo wants her in his care but what that entails for this Frollo is a mystery. I’m not sure if he wants teach her religion or have sex with her. Actually he wants her to repent and accept his guidance, which is a boring motivation for a Frollo. No lust, no torment, no interest.

Frollo 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

In addition to being a sort of Diet version Frollo, this Frollo like spout off exposition because someone has to do it. He lets us know that Quasimodo is deaf but the most awkward one is when him is cursing Quasimodo while he saving Esmeralda. He says something like “curse the deformed monstrosity I adopted and raised all these years.” Prior to that we didn’t know the nature of their relationship. It’s weird for it to come out more than half way through the movie but at least they mentioned it, I guess.

Frollo 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

The real head scratcher, at least for me, is that he wears red. Why? Oddly, he’s not the only Frollo to wear red, the Dingo version also has red-cladded Frollo. Siting the Dingo version is not high praise. Frollo wears black, that his character, the end.

Frollo 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

It is sort of interesting to see a water-down, “kid- friendly,” diet Frollo who follows the book for most of the part minus all the depressing stuff. Though this Frollo missed the mark of being interesting as character. And why Red? Come on! Why does Hunchback try to make me hate red, I don’t.

Next Time – The Others

 Clopin 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Clopin

 

Book 10, Chapter 1, Gringoire has Several Capital Ideas

Kenneth Haigh as Frollo and Christopher Gable as Gringoire  1977 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Kenneth Haigh as Frollo and Christopher Gable as Gringoire

This chapter is a pun, because Gringoire now like architecture and capitals are the tops of columns but it also means good. In this chapter Frollo and Gringoire talk about saving Esmeralda from the suspension sanctuary which is a lie tah Frollo told Gringoire to get her out of Notre dame in his mercy.

 

Frollo comes up with the idea that Gringoire should take her place and if he gets hang who really cares, Gringoire does though. Gringoire then comes up with the attack idea and seeking Esmeralda out. Frollo approves.
Lot of versions don’t features Frollo’s lie, sanctuary gets suspended and the Court of Miracle sometime rise up and fight. I think the fact that a lie get blown so out proportion that ends with deaths of so many is more impactful. The only version to have the Frollo lie, that I have seen is the 1977 version. In fact in that version Frollo propose the idea that Esmeralda is pregnant which in the book was Gringoire and made Frollo either nagry or delighted, it so hard tell with him

Book 10, Chapter 2, Turn Vagabond!

Illustration of Jehan Frollo picture image

Illustration of Jehan Frollo

In this chapter Jehan turns vagabond. That’s it. He comes looking for money and threaten to turn vagabond Frollo tell him to do it and he does but Frollo still give him money.

You know it just dawned on me, the book calls him Dom Claude more than Frollo. I guess that is a trait of the disney movie.

I don’t think any movies have this scene, the 1956 might but I can’t recall. Jehan says he will steal want he needs but taht is like at the strart of the movie so I don’t know if really counts. This chapter basically gets Jehan in to the fray.

 

Book 10, Chapter 3, Joy Forever!

Maurice Sarfati as Jehan, 1956 Hunchback of Notre dame picture image

Maurice Sarfati as Jehan, 1956 Hunchback of Notre dame

The Court of Miracles is on broad with Project Save Esmeralda and Wreck Notre Dame. Jehan also likes vagrant a.k.a vagabond I guess considering the last chapter. Seriously he took to it in like an hour.

Also yes i was right, the Duke of Egypt is a separate character, his given name is Mathias Hungadi Spicali. He is merged with Clopin so many times that if wasn’t for one illustration I would forget. Though he is in the 1956 version and addressed by name.

Sometimes you see this chapter in movies and sometime you don’t. I suppose I could say that about any chapter really.

 

Book 10, Chapter 4, An Awkward Friend

Molten Lead pours from Notre Dame 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Molten Lead pours from Notre Dame 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame

ATTACK!!! The Court of Miracles attack Notre Dame to save Esmeralda and loot it because they consider it to no longer be sacred and Notre Dame is only protected by its sanctity. This is really just the first part of the attack. Quasimodo defend against what he thinks is a threat when really he and the Court of Miracles want the same thing. Jehan also dies in this chapter by Quasimodo. In the end Quasimodo prays for a miracles as there is just too many for him.

I’m hard press to think of a Hunchback version that didn’t have the attack on Notre Dame. Well, the Enchanted Tales version didn’t, they has a not-so-epic run up Notre Dame stairs. In Secret of the Hunchback they fight in church.

Sometimes the Court of Miracles attacks and sometimes they don’t but mostly this chapter is done well. It’s curious though, the movie would have you think that the molten lead was the finishing move but it wasn’t.

Thumbelina  picture image

Thumbelina

I have mentioned nostalgia clouding bad kid movies and trying to be above it, that being said it has caught up with me in a little way. A part of me knows that Don Bluth’s Thumbelina is not a good movie, it has a lot issues, but, but, but I really like this movie. I have good happy memories this movie. Even though it has some flaws, I still like it.

Thumbelina was released in 1994 by Don Bluth. It was clearly him copying that sweet, sweet Disney formula. In fact they played the Disney logo at the beginning at test screenings to help get positive ratings. This movie is really a Disney knock-off.

 Thumbelina  with Cornelius Thumbelina  picture image

Thumbelina with Cornelius

The movie starts with off in Paris with Jacquimo, a swallow. He gives us theme about over coming impossibility because Disney has the monopoly on the being yourself theme. He tells the story of Thumbelina from book even though he was in the story. I’m confused but whatever.

Story goes, this lady wants a baby so she gets an enchanted flower and out pops full grown Thumbelina. Thumbelina isn’t fan of being small and lonely. She hopes her love will come by and low and behold he does, one Fairy Prince Cornelius. After 7 minutes and 39 seconds of screen time which includes a Whole New World knock-off, they are in love and on their way to engagement or they are, I can’t really tell. I guess it like engaged to be engaged.

However, Thumbelina is kidnapped in the night by Charo-Toad. Charo-Toad, like everyone else in this movie, is smitten with Thumbelina’s voice. She wants to add Thumbelina to her act and she wants her to marry her son Grundel. They ditch Thumbelina on a lily pad to get the Padre or something.

As Thumbelina is stuck on the lily pad, Jacquimo FLIES by. Thumbelina tells her tale of love and woe and Jacquimo congratulations her for being in love. Jacquimo helps her off the lily pad by cutting it lose and getting some fishes to pull her to shore. Jacquimo tells her to follow her heart to find her way home and while she does that Jacquimo will FLY around looking for Cornelius.

Thumbelina then gets caught by Mr Beetle, played by Gilbert Gottfried who wants her to sing at the Beetle Ball. However, her Beetle costume was poorly made and falls off revealing her as not a bug and the beetles call her ugly. As she laments, Jacquimo FLIES by and comforts her. He comforts her by saying as long as the guy you like thinks your pretty it doesn’t matter. I think it’s just bad writing there.

Then winter comes, and Jacquimo and Cornelius, who have been looking for Thumbelina are knocked out of commission. Also on the hunt for Thumbelina are Grundel who has Mr Beetle working for him.

As the cold weather sets in, Thumbelina is saved from death by Ms. Fieldmouse. Ms. Fieldmouse informs Thumbelina that Cornelius is dead. Thumbelina gets to mourn him for a solid 15 seconds because they have visit Mr. Mole. Mr. Mole also likes Thumbelina’s voice and tells them that he found a dead bird which turns out to be Jacquimo but he isn’t dead. Mr. Mole then pays off Ms. Fieldmouse to persuade Thumbelina to marry him.

Thumbelina, heart-broken over Cornelius’ death and thinking she will never get home decides to marry the mole. She tells Jacquimo this and after she pulls a thorn from his wing he tells her to go with him to the prince. She does not as she think Cornelius is dead.

Thumbelina is about to marry the mole but can’t because she doesn’t love him and escapes. As she does, Grundel shows up and so does Cornelius who wasn’t dead just a little frozen. Jacquimo shows up again and takes Thumbelina to what he claims is the Vale of the Fairies. Thumbelina is pessimistic and asks him to take her home but he insists on her singing. As she sings spring comes and Cornelius shows up. Yay. They kiss and Thumbelina gets wings and they get married. Hooray!

Thumbelina with Jacquimo Thumbelina  picture image

Thumbelina with Jacquimo

The number one problem is that Jacquimo at any point could have flown Thumbelina home. We wouldn’t have had a movie but it’s a glaring issue. I’m not sure why he didn’t think to offer this or why Thumbelina didn’t ask. He instead offers to find Cornelius but he could have done that after he brought her home. It’s just one those plot hole that just leaves you confused and asking why.

Thumbelina  picture image

Thumbelina

Another issue is with Thumbelina herself. Thumbelina doesn’t learn anything and she doesn’t earn her happy ending, it’s pretty much handed to her. All she has to do is say no to money but she was never about money and was wholly about love so there no growth for her character.

As far as her personality go, she is impressionable. Considering we don’t know how much time passes between her “birth” and the events of this movie, she could be a like two days old. So her being sheltered is understandable. She is also very pessimistic, she says “It’s Impossible” a lot.

In a way it’s refreshing to see a princess-like character being a negative-nancy, on the other hand without character growth it’s a little annoying. The thing is she’s right, it was impossible since we don’t see her make it home. She does go back at end when she is getting married but she is probably going to live with fairies, so she never really makes it back home. It wouldn’t have been impossible if stupid bird-jerk gave her a ride.

Speaking of Thumbelina, what is she? Cornelius kind of implies that fairies can get their wings later, so she is a fairy? But how did that seed work? Is she at all genetically related to her mother? Do fairies come from seeds? When two fairies love each other very much, do they plant a flower and out comes a baby? Or a grown-up non-winged fairy? I’m confused.

Thumbelina with Mr  Beetle picture image

Thumbelina with Mr Beetle

So as for the rest of the characters. They’re ok, Jacquimo is a well meaning co-dependent who is a little more than dumb, Cornelius is a rule-breaking flirt, the jitterbugs are cute, and the mom is bland but nice.

They other characters are ambitious and money grubbing. I think Grundel is a bit like Frollo, he obsessed with Thumbelina but doesn’t know her. I admit I do like Mr. Beetle, I find him amusing even if he is just Gilbert Gottfried doing Iago.

 Thumbelina  with Cornelius picture image

Thumbelina with Cornelius

Speaking of voice actors and Disney, Thumbelina is a pure unfiltered rip off of The Little Mermaid. Both are originally by Hans Christian Anderson, both use the same voice actress, Jodi Benson, both have red hair, both have beautiful and desirable voices. Hell both movies use Kenneth Mars voice of King Triton and the Fairy King. It even fade out to stain-glass. This movie feel very Disney-light.

Thumbelina with Mrs. Toad  picture image

Thumbelina with Mrs. Toad

So since a hallmark of Disney films is the animation and the songs how does those compare. The animation is really good. I really like how stagey the visuals are to the songs. Some of the characters design are overtly silly, dogs and goats with mustaches and Charo-toad. But on the whole it’s a pretty movie to look at.

Ms Fieldmouse Thumbelina  picture image

Ms Fieldmouse

The songs were composed by Barry Manilow. I know people don’t like most of the songs, heck one won a Razzie but I don’t hate them. I prefer some over others. I like the Aladdin knock-off, Let me be your wings and the vague I want song, Soon.

The other songs are meh but enjoyable. That’s right, I enjoyed Marry the Mole, how often do you get a gold-digging song in a kid’s movie? It’s just enjoyably stupid.

Thumbelina with the Jitterbugs Thumbelina  picture image

Thumbelina with the Jitterbugs

Thumbelina is supposed to be about over coming impossibilities but it seems more like don’t do things for money but in copying Disney that is what Bluth did, he married the mole so to speak. I won’t deny this duality does lead to a kinda messy theme which in turn leads to a messy narrative but I do like this movie. Maybe it’s nostalgia for it but the I find Thumbelina enjoyable, with good pacing, lovely visuals, and some nice songs.

Deepika Padukone picture image

Deepika Padukone

This isn’t a casting choice I thought up, I have seen this suggestion floating around the internet for a while. Deepika Padukone is a Bollywood actress that has been on the scene since about 2007 with her first major hit Om Shanti Om . Since then she has been a lot of popular Bollywood films, she also has an upcoming film called Finding Fanny. The question is would she make a good Esmeralda?

Deepika Padukone as Shanti Priya from Om Shanti Om picture image

Deepika Padukone as Shanti Priya from Om Shanti Om

I would say yes. Padukone is a decent actress. I saw her in Om Shanti Om a few years ago, and I really enjoyed that movie. For this post I tried watching Chennai Express, which I loathed. It wasn’t Padukone’s fault, that film was under the impression that references to other Bollywood films is funny, and yes it can be but they did it way too much. Plus it just a bad movie but the references were beyond painful. Anyway, I think Padukone could pull Esmeralda off an acting level, I mean pending on the intent of the film, Esmeralda isn’t the deepest character.

Deepika Padukone picture image

Deepika Padukone

She also has a decent look for Esmeralda but only if they don’t go with her original back story. Padukone is known as a beauty in Bollywood which helps Esmeralda as she is suppose to be very beautiful. Also as a Bollywood actress she can dance, so another plus.

Deepika Padukone picture image

Deepika Padukone

All in all, I think Deepika Padukone would be a solid choice for the role. Would she be greatest Esmeralda ever? Can’t say but she would be a decent casting choice.

What do you think?