No Spoilers. (If you want a more in-depth spoiler review leave comments)

Broken Lizard Quasi
Steve Lemme as Quasi

When this project was first announced in November 2021, it was promoted of satirical take on Hugo’s The Hunchback Notre Dame. This would have seemed novel to those unfamiliar with the 1999 parody of the novel, Quasimodo del Paris and thus an interesting take for an adaptation. When the first trailer dropped it seems like the project was Broken Lizard’s attempt to be Monty Python with a Hunchback named Quasi through in. It didn’t seem like a parody of novel or the character. And after watching the movie it still doesn’t.

Quasi Versus The Book

The first thing the movie tells you, is that you the viewer don’t know the story. You didn’t read the book. A bold assumption since most people have a basic bit of knowledge, even if from the Disney version.

The movie also sets the story in 13th century so it’s doubtful the viewer or anyone on the production read novel or went to the novel’s wiki page. The novel is set in 1482. So either they didn’t know that or the production was confused on how the dating system works. This movie sets the story in the 13th century or the 1200s.

Is this Movie REALLY a Parody?

Aside from Quasi, whose full name is Quasi Modo, having a hunchback is there anything within the movie that makes it a parody of the novel or any previous movie versions? Quasi mentions that he grew up in a bell-tower and there are bell related jokes. Are there any mentions to any characters from the book? No. It’s just the hunch and bells. Though there is a character named Claude who is Pope’s man but that is more incidental than anything.

Oddly the movie does have similarities with common with the Enchanted Tales version and The Magical Adventures of Quasimodo involving Quasi’s backstory.

A Style of Humor

As far of the humor goes, it’s subjective. If you like the Broken Lizard style of humor maybe you will like Quasi. There are some instances that were almost funny but not much landed. Brevity was needed. There is a lot about oysters. Like a lot lines of dialogue about oysters. Just so much about Oysters.

Is it an Actual Satire?

The satirical aspect is more about medieval power structures but the film does nothing interesting, clever or funny with it. There was little of that in the book especially since the King Louis was very hands-off with governing and only cared when he thought the mob was attacking Notre Dame. There is more in the book about the court system and it seems disingenuous to the character that Quasimodo would go into practice of torture as a profession. But remember no one read book, the prologue made that clear.

As far as parodies or satire go, Quasi misses the mark for being one for Hugo’s novel. It states that no one read the book as a a get out jail free card which doesn’t work. The novel has been retold so many times, even by Hugo himself, that no one really cares if a version is by the book or not. Saying lines like that just puts itself in opposition with viewer. At most, it’s referential to the novel since it a slight knowledge of it but really this version is a protracted comedy sketch.

Final Thoughts

If you are already a fan of Broken Lizard and you want something to watch, go for it. Most of the reviews say if you turn your brain off for 90 minutes it’s alright. Though they’re more entertaining movies if you want to shut your brain off.

If you have ever slightly enjoyed any Hunchback version in the past do not watch. It’s a hard pass. It’s only nominally a version of the story.

.5 out 10 Bells  

Side note – This movie did make me curious about the history of oyster consumption, so I guess that is a point in it’s favor. Because Oysters! It’s still weird even after watching this movie.

Kyun! Ho Gaya Na picture image

Kyun! Ho Gaya Na

Instead of doing the roulette thing, I decided to take destiny in my own hands and pick for myself. I decided to go for  a Bollywood movie since it had been a while since I last watch one. So I picked Kyun! Ho Gaya Na because it was a period of Bollywood I used to watch when I first started watching  Bollywood movies (mid 2000s) and I do tend to go for the romantic saccharine movies.

So how was this movie? Very boring. I turned it off after and hour because I just couldn’t muster any attention for this movie. I even paused it to try my hand at water-marbling my nails. Which didn’t go well either but I had more fun failing at nail art than watching this movie.

The center conflict of the film isn’t bad, basically the two leads have opposing attitudes on love. The guy, Arjun, wants his parents to choice for him because love is complicated and Diya rather fall in love. It’s a take on tradition vs modernity theme that you see in a lot of Bollywood movies but the stakes are not high so it’s not compelling.

Honestly that isn’t even the issue. A small love-story that is either chill or silly is fine but this is neither. It doesn’t really know what it’s doing with a tone. The acting is also weird combo of hammy and wooden. Aishwariya Rai is only as good as her director.  There isn’t much in the way of chemistry between the leads either which is detrimental in a romance movie.

The look of this movie is off. Some Bollywood movie have a weird super contrast look which makes color pop but darker tones are really dark. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai has that look however that movie know to use a lot of color, Kyun! Ho Gaya Na doesn’t so it look weirdly washed out.

Then there is  the editing and dancing, both of which are  very jarring. To be fair I did stop watching so maybe the songs in the second act were better and the editing was tone down. But not the first three songs.

I would pass on this movie. It’s just all around dull.

I failed this quest line. Shame on me. Or did I beat it because I refuse to have it waste my time?  Those are the questions! That is the true debate! I did really fail at water-marbling though but I suck at nail art in general much like reviewing movies on the internet.    


The final random pick is To and From New York. Its runtime of 80 minutes gives me pause but it’s at least short.

 

To and From New York picture image

To and From New York

 

Of all the movies I could have randomly gotten, I got this, a low budget independent  movie that is not as bad as The Room but not as enjoyable either.

The plot is an engaged woman named Lydia, goes to New York City for an article. One  night she goes with a college friend to speed dating. She meets a guy who works in a museum and through some series of events she become friends with him. However the plot is she finds a lead between two missing woman and using her new artist friend and another  friend who is a matchmarker/ hosted the speed date, she finds out what happen to these two women and it’s really anticlimactic.   But the good news is that Lydia breaks up with her fiancee and moves to New York. Though we never meet her fiancee or see the break-up.

That is pretty much the movie.

To and From New York is not good by any means. In an objective grading score it would get no high marks. The  most you can say is that at least the person who wrote, directed and produced  the movie, tried to bring his dream to life and that is worth something. Though it was misguided with too many weird chocker shots and odd edits.

It’s just better to go after a soulless studio cash grabs than a low budget independent movie where art and dating try and save the day in the end. It’s the difference between going after an establish author versus someone who self-publishes on kindle or a fanfic writer. Some people are just better but you can’t be too harsh on the work for being amateurish and unpolished.

If you truly have nothing better to do with your 80 minutes sure you could watch it but there is no reason to seek this movie out unless you want to watch every movie that The Cures’ music has been in because this movie has a The Cure song.


Last February I looked at four romantic period movies, this year I thought I would try something I have been watching to try for a while. I’m going to randomly pick a “romance” movie or TV show  and review it. I’m going to this four time so one post a week.  The selection is through https://reelgood.com/roulette/netflix with only the genre romance picked.  There will be no re-rolls, you have my word.

A few guidelines;

  • If I get a show I will only watch/review the first episode.
  • I reserve the right to stop watching the movie/show at least the 30 minute mark. It does take me a lot to quit a movie but I don’t want to waste my worthless time either.
  • If I have seen the movie before I will still review it but in the event that I get a movie I have already reviewed before I reserve the right to re-roll but I shall make a note in the post of that event.  The odds of very low of though so I don’t imagine that will happen.

So guide me oh Netflix gods, What is your first pick?!

The First pick is Red Carpet. Could have guessed that from the subject line though.

Red Carpet 2014 Korean Movie picture image

Red Carpet 2014

Red Carpet is a 2014 Korean Rom-com drama about a porn director, Jung-Woo who dreams of being actual film director. He also falls in love with a former child actress and encourages her to go on a audition and she makes it big as an actress and she encourages him to make his movies. Oddly I figured was going to get something from Korea but I figured it would be a K-drama, which I have seen a few, not many but a handful. I just didn’t think it would be the first one but here we are. Wonder if I will get another before the month is done?

 

Jun-hee Ko as Eun-Su and Dal-hwan Jo as Jung-Soo Red Carpet 2014 Korean Movie picture image

Jun-hee Ko as Eun-Su and Dal-hwan Jo as Jung-Soo Red Carpet 2014

I wouldn’t say this was a bad movie but it had many issues. The biggest one was just how contrived it was. The two leads meet because the some apartment mix-up where Eun-Su  moves into Jung-Woo’s apartment. Not sure how that housing thing makes any sense other than a plot device. Then they encourage each other and fall in love and hook up then the plot misunderstand occurs. You see Eun-Su doesn’t know Jung-Woo works in pornography so she think he hooking-up with someone else and thus they part ways. He tries to make up with her and eventually he does. They film his legit movie but then scandal because he was  porn director and she is a top actress but it all works out in the end. It’s just all very contrived.

Then there is the humor. I didn’t get it. It might be that I either don’t resonate with Korean humor or I just didn’t work for me. It was all very awkward. Like sure the horse in heat on the highway part was funny but it’s require so many mental loops to get there. Like the horse was used in a film production, so how does the production even allow for the horse to get off the set and on the highway and the horse was in heat. Do productions even cast horses in heat?   Is that a question I have to ask?

 

 Red Carpet 2014 Korean Movie picture image

Red Carpet, 2014

Also the passing was an issue. Most of the movie seemed like porn based comedic vignette than plot than more comedy till like the end. It made the movie  hard to get into and pay attention to and it wasn’t long movie, just two hours.    

It wasn’t a wholly bad movie, it had it’s moments but it’s very,contrived and not all the comedy lands. Plus as a movie about Pornography, it’s very tame and naive.    

 

The Hunchback of Notre Dame reference in Red Carpet 2014 Korean Movie picture image

The Hunchback of Notre Dame reference in Red Carpet

This movie oddly has a Hunchback of Notre Dame reference in it, what are the odds? One of their porno scripts or movies is called, according to the subtitles “The Hunchback of Notre Dick.”  What luck finding a Hunchback reference in a random Korean movie.


Jane Eyre 2011 picture image

Jane Eyre 2011

I have been reading Jane Eyre and when I say that I mean I started it like back in September and read it somewhat periodically but it’s ok I have watched the mini-series from 1983 so I know the in’s and outs. Like so many other literary works Jane Eyre has adapted many, many times and this version is from 2011 and it’s alright.

Mia Wasikowska as Jane Eyre 2011 picture image

Mia Wasikowska as Jane Eyre

The way the film is shot is it gives more of a gothic feel and at some points it seems like the shot are more appropriate to a Fantasy work, though to be fair this really only at the start of the movie. As the film goes on it takes on a weird near music video style to the direction and editing. Not saying it’s bad just different.

Mia Wasikowska as Jane Eyre Tamzin Merchant as Mary Rivers Jane Eyre 2011 picture image

Mia Wasikowska as Jane Eyre Tamzin Merchant as Mary Rivers

The movie also takes on a flashback framing agent. Meaning the start of the movie has Jane wandering the moors and meeting the kindly Rivers. Her life and meeting Mr.Rochester are told as flashback. The weird caveat is that after she arrives at Thornfield and until she leave it’s unbroken flashback and you forget about the framing. It’s inconsistent and unnecessary. Not saying the idea behind doesn’t have merit because it’s helps create air of mystery but they could have framed it better with more editing or even some use or motif to tie or even contrast her life at Thornfield with her current life.    

Mia Wasikowska as Jane Eyre & Michael Fassbender as Edward Rochester Jane Eyre 2011 picture image

Mia Wasikowska as Jane Eyre & Michael Fassbender as Edward Rochester

Then we have the romance. The chemistry between Rochester and Jane is odd in this movie. It’s there sometimes and mostly this on part of the actors.  Michael Fassbender does a fine job as Rochester but Mia Wasikowska as Jane is hit or miss. She does a great gob with the physical end of Jane but it see she can’t really deliver the dialogue. It’s like she doesn’t believe or understand the lines of dialogue.

Mia Wasikowska as Jane Eyre & Michael Fassbender as Edward Rochester Jane Eyre 2011 picture image

Mia Wasikowska as Jane Eyre & Michael Fassbender as Edward Rochester

To be fair, and I really don’t want to bring up the book but Jane Eyre is a hard role to play. She is a women who seems meek and shy but she really bursting with passion and wit. It’s that society and her station doesn’t allow for her to act that way. This movie has be acting more shy except for few lines about her being “passionate” and “ambitious.”  Honestly Jane’s hair styles this movie showcases her personality more.  Her hair is neatly pulled back into intricately braided buns. Something that looks demure and simple but is really complex and dimensional.

Mia Wasikowska as jane Eyre & Michael Fassbender as Edward Rochester Jane Eyre 2011 picture image

Mia Wasikowska as Jane Eyre & Michael Fassbender as Edward Rochester

With any movie adaption of a book they are either cut or run through aspect which this version does and it end so abruptly at it does take away somewhat from the story but all in all it’s an alright version. Not amazing or great but not unwatchable.   

 

 

Side Note- In my grand scheme I hope to look at Jane Eyre and its movie versions more in the future but I need to finish the book first.

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