https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xtrptkenZA&spfreload=10
Julie Zenatti played Fleur de Lys in the original Notre Dame de Paris cast
I mention that I would post some Christmas stuff I like. This by no mean everything just things I feel like mentioning quickly.
This is Eivør Pálsdóttir
Eivør is one of my favorite singers. Here she is singing in Icelandic but she in a lot of other languages including English. It’s just a pretty Christmas song.
Melody
The last song of the Enchanted Tales Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Random People
This song comes out no where and adds nothing to the story. It comes right after the crappy moral about pretty people don’t have to worry about looks and after the song the characters don’t register the song at all. This song is just filler to meet the company’s four song quota. The sad part this song is the most energetic and musically interesting.
Paganini a.k.a Melody’s enchanted annoying violin
I can’t really make out the lyrics of the what they are singing but it’s some like “Life will Life will alive” or something. The song is about positivity and stuff. It doesn’t really work with what is happening in the narrative, I mean why should Quasimodo or Melody be bummed now, they’re pretty. (Edit- Thanks to Hulu, they are actually saying “Life will arrive.”)
Sun and Clouds
Aside from the lyrics being unquestionably stupid, the visual are super stupid. Most of the visuals are just repeat animation from the first song and when they have no animation like people dancing or clouds they repeat it too. Really this song is better when you just listen it.
Random People
Really the best part of this song is the musical orchestration. Not kidding it’s pretty ok. It has a fun Spanish vibe. This just has a stronger enegry than they rest and it a shame it was wasted and a filler song that didn’t add anything or was even acknowledge by the story of the character.
Melody sings
With this song we have a good music and the rest is stupid.
Next Time – The Animation (gag)
Melody’s mouth is gone, This has not been altered, this native in the movie
Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame
The second song in the Enchanted Tales Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Melody and Quasimodo
Let’s just call this song “The Bells all Ring.” It’s the love song of the movie as it sung by Melody and Quasimodo about love. This song comes out of no where, like whiplash. Quasimodo comments on her magic and BAM singing mice. That’s right, fucking singing mice, why? I have no earthly idea.
Melody and Quasimodo
The song uses bell imagery to show that they hear music when the see or are with each other. Two things, they took the bell imagery too far as they sing about alarms clocks and telephones. Even if this movie has no idea the time period it’s set in, it is made to look medieval, alarm clocks and telephones should not be mentioned. Second, the idea that they are in love and hear music is sweet or would be if they they had more than 2 minutes of interaction with each other.
Melody and Quasimodo
The music is cheesy but it’s cheesy song so it’s not so bad. There are some really nice bell sounds. The most cheesy it goes is the little twinkle sounds.
Melody and Quasimodo
The lyrics with exception of the alarm and the telephone are ok. They are a little repeated and the ding dong ding lines are dumb but there are some good one. Like “When I’m looking at you it’s so sublime, I can feel the bells within me chime.” Yeah the lyrics are cheesy but given the other songs this movie, it’s is like a masterwork although the lyrics are mostly dumb.
Random Mice
Animation like the rest of the movie is bad. They repeat the mice choir and the lips sync is just cringe worthy.
Melody and Quasimodo with the random mice
Of all the songs, this is the only one that makes sense in a Hunchback movie. Sure, it’s a love song between Quasimodo and an Esmeralda-stand-in with bell imagery but fits in to the story. And it’s the only song that feels intentional and part of the narrative. Which is saying something as it comes out of nowhere.
Melody and Quasimodo
Saying it’s the least awful song is not saying a lot, it’s still a bad song. This song is also played over the credit so the movie thinks it’s the best too.
Next Time; Stupid Song Number Three
Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda in Jail awaiting death
Pierre with Can-Can dancers
If you have ever wanted to bend time so a minute feel like an eternity I have the song for you. Clocking in at what should be a mere one minute and four seconds, the opening song of the Enchanted Tales Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Pierre in a Chocolate soufflé
The Song doesn’t have a name as far as I can tell so I will call it, Dance to the Music but a more accurate title would be Confusing Anachronism Overdrive. Seriously what the fuck, it has no concept of anything.
18th Century guy and 1950’s girl at a cafe in 1482
The song is set to the Can-Can and has can-can dancers. Just so we are clear the Can-Can is from like 1830, contemporary with Victor Hugo not the setting of the book. There is also a boy who has modern dress for a second, a woman who looks like she from the 1950 sitting with a man from the 1700’s movies. I’m confused. They also reference soufflés and designer clothing’s. Cluster-fuck!
Guys looking at French Food
They make dumb reference to thing that assaults your intelligence. One of the lyrics “The food is delicious, it’s pure gastronomy but don’t ask what you’re eating because it’s Paris mon ami.” I don’t even know. What does that mean? Are they trying to say the food in Paris has gross stuff in it? Is it a crack at frog’s leg?
Melody playing the Violin
The song is also a cluster fuck of concepts. It has no idea what the song should be about. Is it about Paris? Gypsies? Stupid dancing? Or living your life? Relax, it’s everything.
Circle dance animation
For a song that is a little over a minute is it impressively lazy. This song also rhymes rhythm with rhythm and repeats a lot of animation. And it’s not like they hide the repeat animation it’s super apparent. There is clip of boys and a circle dance that they repeat a lot and the use it after the song is over too.
Melody’s Mother, Genevieve
I feel like this movie is trying its hardest to get you not to watch the movie. It tells you point blank to get up on your chair. It’s good advice because not only does this movie suck I feel stupider for having watched this song. If an opening is meant to draw you in, this repels. Save yourself! The sad thing is this isn’t even the worst song in this movie.
Next Time; Stupid Song Number Two.
Melody and Quasimodo
Ms Cavell and Floating paper
In the Madeline Hunchback episode, Ms. Cavell is trying to get the little girls into reading and writing. She takes them all over Paris and finally at the 6 minute mark, she introduces us to the Hunchback of Notre Dame, which is one of her favorites book. You would think after introducing the book they would talk about it a little bit, but no as soon as she spits out the title the song starts.
Some Guy and with a horse made of Steam,
Madeline episodes alway have a song in them regardless if it works or not. So you might think that the song would relate to the Hunchback or Notre Dame but no. The song is about writing and how Great Paris is for writers.
Ms Cavell and a French Poem
Considering writing is the overarching theme in this, it’s not a bad thing. What is a bad thing is that is the worst thing ever created by a human. A fair warning, this song has been known to kill people because it causes uncontrollable bleeding in the ears.
Madeline and her dumb song
Ms Cavell sings how Paris inspires writers. Then the girls sing the stupidest chorus ever;
“Write, Write Write on the left bank.”
“Left, Left, Left of on the Right.”
I have no words for the stupidness that is those lyrics and they repeat it twice. The bulk of the song’s lyrics just repeat the same idea, Paris inspires writers. The rhymes are ok but they are not by no means great. For whatever ok-ness they might have the chorus ruins it along with instruments and the visuals.
Ms Cavell and Floating paper
The Instruments are mostly a crappy cheap electronic piano. I hear an accordion which is so french and cliche but honestly the accordion is fine. However that godforsaken electronic piano with it stupid glittery cheap sound dominates this shit-feast of song.
Slide Transition during the Song
Then there are the visuals. Now I haven’t got into the animation of Madeline yet but here it is in a nutshell is what I think of it; IT FUCKING SUCKS. And my god the song portion is atrocious in the visuals.
First off let’s editing. They use fucking slide pushes. Which is a transition that pushes the clip from left right off screen. They feathered the edge to make it look soft and gentle but it looks cheesy as fuck.
Madeline and her dumb song
Then the little girls sing the chorus in an abstract space with letters behind them as they walk without ever going anywhere. But look their legs as the step wide. Their legs shouldn’t go that wide without their torso going down. I know this trivial but it fucking bothers me. It also looks like they animated one set of legs and put them on every girl including Pepito…. Pepito has girly legs.
Madeline and her dumb song
It’s just laziness. But that is what the Madeline show is, Laziness, un-bashed and unapologetic laziness. Thankfully because it so fucking lazy the song is short. But even it’s length can’t help it from being the most awful song ever. Quickly, let me listen to I’d stick with you from the Disney Hunchback sequel. (listens to it) Ahhhhhhh….. way better.
Next Time; Let’s Complain about the Animation More….. (cries)
Madeline as Phoebus
Another song named after Quasimodo.
The song captures Quasimodo as a figure who is pushed around and who suffers but breaks free of and does accept himself. Of Course the song has a lot of interpretations but given the name it has to a reference to Quasimodo the literary figure.
Get the song here
The last song in the Jetlag version
The song lasts for 2 and half grueling minutes but after the first 5 seconds you’ll be bored enough to turn it off. However, if for some reason you leave it on be prepare for sappy lazy awfulness.
The song is about how Quasimodo is happy that Esmeralda is love with him because love is awesome. Love is so awesome in fact that it can and I quote ”
Love can make a blind man see
Love can set a prisoner free
I’m sorry song but love can not repair vision and I think evidence is more responsible for freeing prisoners. But nice rhyme there, Free and See, Genius! Most of the other lyrics and rhyme scheme seem like the singer is making it up as he goes.
But my annoyance with this song goes even further than the stupid lazy lyrics and sappy nature of a Quasimodo spouting the “greatness of love” it’s the melody of this song that really gets to me. Just listen to it and tell if you think it’s familiar. It’s a Christmas Carol! They use “We Three Kings” for the bulk of the construction of the melody. What utter laziness. And why that song? Did they think no one would notice? Or did they think kids won’t know that song? Because I knew that song as child and it’s not that esoteric of a song. Or did they want their laziness to be recognized?
As for the visual, they’re just scene shots from the movie with static credits. But since the point of interest is being covered with credits there is not much to look. So like the rest of the song the visuals are lazy.
There is nothing good about this song, nothing! It’s just lazy and stupid. Just skip it.
Next Jetlag Article- Character Design
Esmeralda dancing Jetlag Hunchback of Notre Dame
I’ve studied Japanese and while I’m by no means fluent I think this is a decent rendering of the song into Japanese. I like that for the word for “fate” is Sadame which man fate but it has a sad connotation to it. Not sure what I think of the singing though.
I one time timed to tried to translate Belle into Japanese but not to fit the measure. I do think it would be cool if Notre Dame played to Japan, it’s played a lot in Asia but not in Japan.