Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith picture image

Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith

Let’s consider  the Star Wars Prequel for a moment. Before the movies came out everyone wanted to know how Anakin went for being a nobel Jedi knight to an evil jerk called Darth Vader. However the way the “seduction” to dark side occurs in the Prequels was just stupid. Anakin was basically a bad-apple who was tricked into it because he couldn’t stand loss and didn’t have the power to fix his problem. It was lame.

 

Natalie Portman as Padme & Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones picture image

Natalie Portman as Padme & Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones

There was also the his relationship with Padme.  Basically Anakin pressures Padme to giving into him by having a romantic/sexual relationship. But Anakin feels nothing about ignoring the Jedi doctrine  on having romantic attachments. Here is where I think Geogre Lucas should have taken a page from the Hunchback (pardon the pun).

Frollo kissing Esmeralda, Illustration by Nicolas Eustache Maurin picture image

Frollo kissing Esmeralda, Illustration by Nicolas Eustache Maurin

 

Frollo would have been the perfect model in which Anakin could have been seduce by the Dark Side. Frollo starts out as upstanding nobel priest who worked hard to gain respect. However he really couldn’t capture people’s hearts but he maintained good and charitable acts. However once he saw a young girl he was undone and started to commit horrible acts in the pursuit of her.

 

Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith picture image

Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith

Not that I think Anakin should have done the same same things as Frollo but the torment of love for a women should have been there. He should have had more conflict between his desire for love and and his Jedi training. In Episode II, which was the core of the Love story takes place, there is no conflict for him. He begs for sex and Padme uses her career as an excuse. It was so dull and awkward.  The torment would have added so much drama and sympathy for Anakin just like Frollo

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The last song in the Jetlag versionis called “Love is Everything.” The best thing about this song is that since it’s the ending song you don’t have to listen to it because it’s terrible.

The song lasts for 2 and half grueling minutes but after the first 5 seconds you’ll be bored enough to turn it off. However, if for some reason you leave it on be prepare for sappy lazy awfulness.

The song is about how Quasimodo is happy that Esmeralda is love with him because love is awesome. Love is so awesome in fact that it can and I quote ”

Love can make a blind man see
Love can set a prisoner free

I’m sorry song but love can not repair vision and I think evidence is more responsible for freeing prisoners. But nice rhyme there, Free and See, Genius! Most of the other lyrics and rhyme scheme seem like the singer is making it up as he goes.

But my annoyance with this song goes even further than the stupid lazy lyrics and sappy nature of a Quasimodo spouting the “greatness of love” it’s the melody of this song that really gets to me. Just listen to it and tell if you think it’s familiar. It’s a Christmas Carol! They use “We Three Kings” for the bulk of the construction of the melody. What utter laziness. And why that song? Did they think no one would notice? Or did they think kids won’t know that song? Because I knew that song as child and it’s not that esoteric of a song. Or did they want their laziness to be recognized?

As for the visual, they’re just scene shots from the movie with static credits. But since the point of interest is being covered with credits there is not much to look. So like the rest of the song the visuals are lazy.

There is nothing good about this song, nothing! It’s just lazy and stupid. Just skip it.

Next Jetlag Article- Character Design

Esmeralda dancing Jetlag Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda dancing Jetlag Hunchback of Notre Dame

As of 8pm on Sunday 11/11/12 the results of the Poll; Which Hunchback Character would you vote for as the leader of your country?

And out of 14 whole votes, Frollo won with 5.   Esmeralda, Clopin, and gringoire got 2. Quasimodo, Djali, and Jehan each got 1. Phoebus, King Louis and Sister Gudule got no votes.

Poll is closed.

This just the beginning and I wasn’t even done with the Asian Tour pictures -_-

Question; Why did Esmeralda choose Phoebus?

This question get asked a lot and it’s directed to the Disney movie. A lot people resent Esmeralda for picking Phoebus after all Quasimodo did for her. They resent her despite the fact that movie tries very, very hard to convince the audience that Esmeralda and Phoebus are the perfect couple.

Esmeralda and Phoebus Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda and Phoebus Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

When a film tries to present a future couple to the audience it is always done at the start of the film by showing the couple interacting in someway. This is almost always the case unless it is important to the development of the character to break it off with the person the are supposed to be with. Titanic is a good example of this. In Disney’s Hunchback the only scene that does not have either Frollo or Quasimodo is when Esmeralda and Phoebus meet. Now this may seem trivial but remember that the movie’s theme is “what makes a monster and what makes man” and every scene but this one and most of their time in the church reinforces that theme.

Esmeralda and Phoebus Disney Hunchback of notre dame image picture

Esmeralda and Phoebus Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Next, Esmeralda and Phoebus have almost identical personalities. They’re both witty, friendly, selfless and very self righteous. Frollo is very self righteous and somewhat witty and Quasimodo is friendly and somewhat selfless, he kind of has to overcome some self pity first.

Quasimodo's figurines from "Heaven's Light" Hunchback of Notre Dame Disney picture image

Quasimodo’s figurines from “Heaven’s Light”

Another tactic the movie uses to try to get the audience of the couple’s side is the contrast of how Quasimodo, Frollo and Phoebus view Esmeralda. Frollo views Esmeralda as demon-witch sent from hell to ensnare him in hellish fire whereas Quasimodo views her a s heavenly-angel sent from high above to love him. These point of views are made crystal clear by their songs “Heaven’s Light” and “Hellfire.” Now Phoebus on the other hand doesn’t view her as an angel or demon, he views as a human and treats her as such.

Phoebus Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image hit in the face by Esmeralda

Phoebus being hit by Esmeralda Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

However the most conniving thing the movie does to try to showcase that Esmeralda belongs with Phoebus and not Quasimodo is how she interacts with them. With Quasimodo, she treats with a lot of kindness and compassion. Not to mention she treats him like a child. Esmeralda never expressed any romantic interest in him. The peck on the cheek was to convince him let her stay in his life because she was on the side of the outcasts. She liked him as a friend nothing more. With Phoebus, she was coquettish, witty, snarky, and romantic. All most all Disney couples start off snarky without each other, it’s a troupe.

Esmeralda, Phoebus, and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo accepts Esmeralda and Phoebus as a couple Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The inability to accept Esmeralda and Phoebus as a couple isn’t really do with how much Quasimodo helped Esmeralda because she helped him too it is more to do with acceptations and hopefully optimism. First, it is very rare that a protagonist doesn’t end up with the leading lady. The Hunchback of Notre Dame is one the few Disney movies where this happens. And there is the fact that Quasimodo is an underdog and the audience wants him to succeed and get the girl but it was disheartening when he doesn’t even though Quasimodo accepted the relationship and was happy for them.
And if the protagonist is cool with this than the audience should acceptance it as well.

Esmeralda and Phoebus Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda and Phoebus share the longest kiss in a Disney movie