disney | The Hunch

17Apr 2014

Kronkâ€™s New Groove; Yzma’s fate is a bit dark

by Jessica

Kronk’s New Groove

On paper the idea for Kronk leading a sequel of The Emperor’s New Groove is pretty good. Kronk is a fun likable goof who seems like he could have carried a movie. Then you sit down to watch Kronk’s New Groove and you realizes how wrong you were. It’s not really Kronk’s fault though, it’s because this the movie is where movie references go to die.

Kronk, Yzma and some old guy

This movie is compromised of two flashbacks within a flashback and it’s basically Kronk trying to get his father’s approval. Kronk works as a cook and hears that his father is coming to visit. Kronk, prior to the movie has lied to his father saying that he is married with kids and lives on house on a hill.

He tells two stories about how he got those things but lost them. Kronk got a house on a hill by getting tricked into working with Yzma to scam old people out their money and their old folks home. Kronk feeling guilty returns the house on the hill to the old folks.

The second story is Kronk meets a competing Junior Chipmunk camp Counselor, Miss Birdwell, and they fall in love but the due to being overly competitive, Tipo, Pacha’s kid, pulls a prank on Birdwell and her Junior Chipmunks during the big cheer contest. Kronk takes the blame and Miss Birdwell dumps him.

The last part of the overall flashback is all Kronk’s pals try to make his lies a reality by telling Kronk’s dad that they are either his wife or children. Kronk learns that even if he can’t get his father approval he has great friends and he gets his father approval and Kronk reunites with Miss Birdwell.

Kronk and Miss Birdwell do the spaghetti scene from lady and the tramp

Besides the weak story structure and stories, this movie is very annoying. In the same vein as the Emperor’s New Groove, this movie doesn’t even try to be authentic to the Incas in anyway shape or form. Though in Kronk’s New Groove this by far worse since we lack the charm and fun of the first movie and they amp up anachronism to 11.

It’s not really worth getting in to as it will melt you brain out your ears should you try and think about it. No, that is not the core of my annoyance with this movie, that honor goes to the shameful amount of movie references this movie abuses. Movie references and referencing other media in general is a lazy shortcut to add humor into a movie with out really doing to much. This movie references Lady and the Tramp, Titanic, Thriller, Cheers, and Lord of the Ring just to name a few. Does the movie gain anything by these reference? No, it does not add anything other than padding the movie out and making people stupid.

Kronk

One of the core criticism of the movie is with Kronk himself. Kronk and Yzma were delightful in the The Emperors’s New Groove, so it’s tempting to use Kronk and Yzma again. But as Kronk is a villain’s minion, he is best in small doses, not as the central focus.

However there is another issue with Kronk as the leading character and that is despite Yzma being is a small chuck of the movie there is no one to balance out Kronk. That balance of two colliding characters made the first one great. Here he just a likable goof with no one to really play off of and that makes Kronk and the stories boring.

Kronk and Miss Birdwell dance

One could also say that the title of the movie is a bit of a misnomer, as Kronk doesn’t get a groove. He doesn’t change or grow, he stays the same but everyone knows that the name is a tie in to the original but F.U. movie, I’m calling you out on it.

Kronk and Yzma

Kronk’s New Groove is a weak attempt at a sequel and it actual makes people more stupid after viewing it.

12Apr 2014

Male Esmeralda, Stunning Genderswap Fanart

by Jessica

Art by Sakimi chan

Male Esmeralda Sakimi chan

See the Rest Here Which on is you Favorite

10Apr 2014

Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie; Take a Drink every time Roo says Best Halloween Ever

by Jessica

Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie

Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie is pretty much a direct sequel to Pooh’s Heffalump Movie. It’s a sequel in that they don’t introduce Lumpy because they just assumed you watched it and know this character. I begrudgingly watch the Heffalump movie after the sequel and while I thought the Heffalump movie was alright, I loathed the Halloween movie.

Lumpy, Roo, Piglet, Tigger, Pooh, Rabbit, Eeyore Trick-or-Treating

Plot is it’s Lumpy’s first Halloween and Roo and pals are teaching him all about it. Tigger tells of story about some made up creature called the Gobloon that turns creatures into “Jaggedy-Lanterns.” Lumpy gets scared, so Roo and him venture to find it and make wishes or something because Pooh ate all the candy.

At the 20 minute mark because the screenwriters relieved that they don’t have their Pooh quota of screen time, Roo tells Lumpy a story about Piglet learning not to be scared, a lesson which Iâ€˜m sure he will forget. Lumpy and Roo set-up a trap but they run away when they think they hear the Gobloon. Lumpy gets his foot caught while trying to get away after tripping over a wheel-barrow of pumpkins and Roo leaves him to die like a jerk.

Lumpy does managed to get away and the two are separated. When Roo goes back for Lumpy he just sees a Lumpy Jack-o-lantern and thinks that the Gobloon tried him to a “Jaggedy-Lanterns.” Lumpy ends up in the Gobloon trap and the gang thinks they caught the Gobloon. Roo then wishes for Lumpy back. They then find Lumpy in the trap and have the best Halloween ever. At Roo’s house we learn that Kanga made Jack-o-lanterns of everyone but Lumpy’s got lost.

Piglet Mecha Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie Picture image

Mecha Piglet

The first big issue with the movie seems to be in most Pooh movies, the Flashback story. In Springtime for Roo the flashback story had a precedent on the larger story. In this move, yeah it makes sense but it didn’t work with the larger story and just stalled the movie because without it would have been 40 minutes and cut the memorable character pretty much out.

Roo Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie picture image

Roo

Which bring me to my next Point, Roo can not and should not carry a Winnie the Pooh movie. I’m not sure what the rational behind this was. I think perhaps that the screenwriters feel that Pooh is too much a grown-up for kids to identify with so they use Roo.

It’s a very classic misconceptions of how grown-up think kids work in relations to movies. Roo should either be a minor character or act as straight man if Christopher Robin is too busy with school. He should not be going on adventures without Pooh and the gang. It worked in Pooh’s Heffalump movie because Roo was a counterpoint to Pooh but here it’s just stupid. Pooh should not be a minor character in his movies.

Lump scared of Eeyore

Then there is Lumpy. Lumpy gave me a bit of a flashback to Lumpy Space Princess, LSP, from Adventure Time but other than the name, Lumpy, and being purple they have little in common except that they annoy me.

Lumpy didn’t annoy me in the Heffalump movie but in the Halloween movie oh was he annoying. They pretty much killed his character in this. In the Heffalump movie he was cute and fun and got scared once but I wouldn’t characterize him as big coward wimp.

In the Halloween movie he was a whiny wimp. It was not endearing or cute. Piglet has the monopoly on being scared you can’t give that trait to another character and make the flashback justify it. Still hate the flashback tactic and I hate Lumpy in this movie which makes me sad since I have affinity for Elephant-like creatures.

Tigger and Pooh in Halloween costumes

Despite being a Halloween movie with a Heffalump in it, Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie fails by all counts. It’s boring, annoying and stall. The animation is bad by sequel standards and it throws the memorable characters aside for boring and annoying children. I really hated this movie.

03Apr 2014

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch; I want to see the Mummy Hula!

by Jessica

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch was okay. That’s it, I’m done!

Glitchy Stitch

Good Night Everybody!

Lilo and Stitch

Really, that is all I can say on it, it’s ok. Considering most the Disney sequels, that’s high praise but in honestly the original Lilo and Stitch never did much for me. I saw it and it was ok but it never connected with me.

Lilo and Stitch

The basic plot of this sequel is Stitch is malfunctioning due to his energy never being fully charged and he reverting to evil. In the mean time, Lilo is trying to win a hula contest so her late mother will be proud of her while David is trying to make Nani jealous and Nani trying to keep it all together.

Mostly it’s sub-plots. The climax of the movie is Stitch dies and the power of love, I shit you not, saves him. I do like how they don’t use magic Disney Science to explain it, they just don’t care and neither do I.

Lilo, Stitch, Nani, David, Pleakley, & Jumba.

One thing that worked in this movie is that the family is awesome moral made sense. Though it was rampant in the first one, so it was a rehash and the film would have failed if it couldn’t pull that off.

Stitch

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch for all it is, is meh. However Meh equals Ok on the Disney Sequel spectrum of fuckery. It didn’t make me want to destroy humanity the way Atlantis II did nor did it make me question my sanity the way Little Mermaid II did. It wasn’t painful and therefore it’s ok. Although maybe it’s only ok because I have no strong feelings towards the original.

Mertle and Lilo

Mertle is also a Grade-A Bitch.

01Apr 2014

Major Disney News; Reeves in New Movie

by Jessica

Keanu Reeves

Disney is currently making a CG version of The Phantom of the Opera and Keanu Reeves has landed the coveted role as the Phantom.

Why Disney? Just why?

Source;

http://www.disneymovieslist.com/movies/details.asp?mov=phantom-opera

27Mar 2014

Tarzan II Review: Because the world needs more Phil Collins

by Jessica

Tarzan II

The first time I saw the original Tarzan, I didn’t like it very much but since it had been a very long time since my viewing of Tarzan, I decided to watch it before watching Tarzan II. On a Second viewing, I didn’t hate it as much as the first time. As it turns out Tarzan II is a midquel so there might have been more drama and tension if I hadn’t seen the original.

Tarzan and Zugor

Tarzan II takes place when Tarzan is a young wee bit of a thing, trying his hardest to be the best ape he can. Tarzan feels he and the family would be better off is his wasn’t there but his ape momma, Kala, assures him that family is awesome at the 8 minute mark.

Tarzan, however, gets separated from his family and decides to run way when he overhears some gorillas saying that they will be better off without him. He runs into a family of bitter Gorillas who live in a rocky rift and can’t leave because of a monster called the Zugor. The Zugor turns out to be an old Gorilla named Zugor who is scaring animals so they will leave him alone. Tarzan bargains with him to teach him stuff in return for keeping his secret. Tarzan wants to know what he is and what his talents are. It’s at this point he starts horning his human brian which impresses Zugor.

Terk and Tantor go to look for Tarzan after Tantor hears Tarzan yelling. Terk and Tantor run into the bitter Gorilla family. To save them, Tarzan spills the beans about Zugor and Kala and three baby Gorillas get in the fray. Tarzan uses a vine to swing and to save Kala and the babies and Zugor find his place with the formerly bitter Gorilla family. Tarzan learns that no matter what he is, he a part of a family.

Tarzan

It’s pretty obvious that Tarzan II takes place during that growing up montage. As far as midquels go, Tarzan makes sense to have one, unlike Beauty and the Beast but just because it made a little sense to shoehorn another story in the original, midquels are stupid. Because we have seen Tarzan we know that nothing bad can happen in this story.

We also know that all the character development in the midquel happen in like 4 minutes in the original. Midquels are therefore boring and dull to watch and by their very nature they can’t add anything to the original story.

Lion King 1 1/2 could have made the sequel make a little sense by showing the Scar loyalist leaving Pride Rock but on a whole Midquel can’t have any tension or drama.

Tantor, Tarzan and Terk

As it is Tarzan II despite not having any sense of drama or original character development is not wholly bad. The fact that it is a midquel does make it boring but for hour story it’s fairly not that bad but it has some issues.

A Rhino and a Bird

First annoying little issue, and this was an issue I had in the first movie, if the gorillas and Tarzan can talk to Tantor why can’t they talk to the other animals? This is just annoying and I don’t get it.

Tarzan and a baby Warthog

Second annoying issue, where the hell is this? I mean I know it’s in the Jungles of somewhere in Africa but where? Africa is a big continent so where is the place with Elephants, Gorillas, Rhinoceros, Hippos, Warthogs, Leopards (or one) and if I count the first movie Lemurs, Baboons and Taisers. Lemurs only live in Madagascar but none of the other animals do so I gotta say F U Disney.

What is Disney’s issue with pan-menagerie of animals especially when they had a dumb throw away line about piranhas being native to South America? I could tone out this issue in the original movie but in the midquel it was annoying.

Kago, Gunda and Uto

Then we have the new characters, Zugor, Uto, Kago, and Mama Gunda. At least the have contrived yet distinct personalities, Zugor is a lovable grump, Uto is dense, Kago is violent and Mama Gunda is overbearing.

Uto, Kago and Gunda are considered the antagonist but they are weak ones and they hardly count. However as weak as they are, they are miles more entertaining than Ursula’s crazy sister or the Tim Curry organ.

Kala and Tarzan

It says something if before the ten minute mark the viewer knows the core lesson, Family is awesome. To be fair most of these sequels is about family or friends being awesome. On some occasion it’s love that is awesome but that is rarer.

Tarzan II is so blatant with its message that I felt I could have turned it off after 8 minutes. It did make for a nice little bookend with beginning and the end but you know Tarzan is still with his family because of the original so having it blatant in the narrative indicates that the movie thinks its audience is stupid. Then again these sequels are used as babysitting tool to get kids sleep, so touche movie.

Tarzan

Tarzan II as a whole thing isn’t that bad but it being a midquel is offer very little. If you need to kill an hour or have to entertain a child there is worse stuff to watch.

19Mar 2014

Disney Cosplay Count

by Jessica

Disney Princesses/Characters are common choices for costumes but usually one or costume is chosen more than what that character wears in the movie. But let us see which costumes of each character is the most cosplayed. Characters must have at least two costume changes in the movie. I will go through the first 100 cosplay pictures of the character in google images. I will search them by their name and word “cosplay” and in Jane and Anna case, Disney was added. Keep in my mind Google Images change a lot.

Snow white

Snow White

Yellow – 100
Rags – 0

Cinderella

Cinderella
Casual -1
Pink Gown – 0
Ball Gown -99

Aurora

Aurora
Briar Rose -29
Pink Gown -50
Blue Gown -21

Ariel Disney The Little Mermaid

Ariel
Mermaid – 50
Ship wreak – 3
Pink Gown -11
Blue Dress – 36
Wedding – 0

Belle

Belle
Casual -13
Green dress – 0*
Pink – 1
Yellow Gown -86

Jasmine

Jasmine
Casual -93
Disguise -0
Purple Dress -1
Slave – 6
Purple End – 0

Esmeralda as a Disney Princess

Esmeralda
Casual – 84
Red dress -12
Prisoner – 0

Mulan

Mulan
Casual – 15
Gown – 61
Warrior 24

Jane

Jane
Yellow -70
Jungle -2
(all I saw)

Tiana

Tiana
Waitress – 9
Almost there dress -0
Princess costume 1 – 0
Princess costume 2 kiss – 8
Ball Gown -83
Wwdding- 0

Elsa

Elsa
Coronation Gown -16
Snow Queen -84

Anna

Anna
Coronation Gown- 7
Snow Dress – 93
Ending Dress – 0

I’m not surprised by the common costume but some of the numbers are surprising. I thought Belle would have more for her Blue Dress.

*saw 1 under Jane

13Mar 2014

Winnie the Pooh Springtime with Roo Review: Rabbit is a J amongst Ps

by Jessica

Winnie the Pooh Springtime with Roo

Finally, A Winnie The Pooh video I didn’t hate. Winnie the Pooh Springtime with Roo takes a lot of issues that Winnie the Pooh has and turn the issues into something that is decently charming and not a pain to watch.

Roo, Piglet Tigger, Pooh, Eeyore, & Rabbit

The story goes, the gang is getting ready for Easter. Rabbit hosts it every year and everyone is looking forward to especially little Roo. Rabbit however decides that instead of Easter they are going to clean his house. The others sad still go along with it but once they find the Easter decorations decide to decorate for the occasion. When Rabbit sees it he gets mad. Roo and Tigger try figure why Rabbit is angry and doesn’t want to celebrate Easter.

Rabbit thought Tigger was replacing him as Easter Bunny last year and he was mad that no one followed his strict rules. But Rabbit sees a vision of the future where everyone left him alone and he comes around and they celebrate Easter together without rules.

Piglet, Roo, Rabbit, & Pooh, Winnie the Pooh Springtime with Roo picture image

Piglet, Roo, Rabbit, & Poohwith Roo

So why is this one more enjoyable than the others Pooh movies? The problem with Winnie the Pooh is that all the characters have their very extreme flaws, which are part of their charm but without a straight and even character to lead the audience through them they get overwhelming. Christopher Robin is, or should be the even-key one but his parts are minimal and sometimes non-existence.

In this one we have Roo. Compared to the others, Roo is an excitable child but it still normal. With a normal character the other’s flaws can’t be as extreme and the flaws can be more of a center point.

Pooh and Piglet

The plot isn’t as big as the Grand Adventure nor as confused as the Christmas/New Year, but it’s solid and focused. One criticism is that that plot is very focused on Roo, Tigger and Rabbit. Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore don’t have much to do within the narrative.

Piglet, Pooh, Roo, Rabbit, Eeyore & Tigger

The plot is heavily influenced by Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol. Now I’m not great fan of Dickens but Christmas Carol is the only story I like but it’s overdone in movies. However I don’t mind it here because at least the characters are at least Tigger know it’s being referenced which makes it fun.

Roo in a meta moment

Winnie the Pooh Springtime With Roo isn’t the great story in the Winnie the Pooh universe but as story for an hour long video it’s not that bad dare I say fine.

05Mar 2014

Descendants, new Disney Channel movie

by Jessica

Disney’s Descendants

Disney is going to release an original Disney Channel movie in 2015 called Descendants. Now an original Disney Channel should indicate that one should either stop reading or turned their brain off, I did neither and regretted it.

Descendants is about the children of the Disney characters going to a prep-school. Ben, the son of Belle and Beast who is set to take the throne, gives redemption to the villain’s children. These the villains children include Jafar, Cruella and Maleficent’s kids. This is the point where my brain collapse in on its self. Jafar, Cruella and Maleficent occupy the same time space. Jafar is from psudo-medieval Arabia, Cruella from 1960s London and Maleficent is from Renaissance Europe. I wrote a Fan-fiction when I was 9 with characters from different point in history and places and I deemed it too stupid but they made a movie on it.

Then there are the kid’s names. Maleficent’s daughter is Mal, Jafar’s kid is Jay, Cruella’s son is Carlos and The Evil Queen’s is, are you ready, it’s pretty stupid, it is Evvie. Why not just go their and Evilette or something.

This project has stupid written all over it.

20Feb 2014

101 Dalmatians II; Patch’s London Adventure Review; Why canâ€™t they talk to the other animals like in the first film?

by Jessica

101 Dalmatians II; Patch’s London Adventure

101 Dalmatians II; Patch’s London Adventure is by all counts a dumb movie but it has its moments of being entertaining, which surprised me. What brought it down was the general mean-spiritedness.

Patch and Thunderbolt

The plot goes, that in midst of moving to the farm, Patch is feeling less than unique. On moving day, Patch gets left behind and decides to see his idol, TV actor dog, Thunderbolt who is holding auditions. Thunderbolt is told by his sidekick, Lightning, that they mean to kill him off in the show, which is a lie.

Thunderbolt decides to perform good deeds in real life so he can keep his job. He enlists Patch’s help because Patch knows all the episodes. Then Cruella DeVille enters the picture and get captivated by an artist who paints spots. She commissions him to paint her a painting but isn’t happy so she decides to kidnap the Dalmatians again. Patch and Thunderbolt then have to save the day and Patch learns he is special.

Patch

Going into this movie, I thought it would be akin to Scamp’s adventure but it wasn’t. Patch learns a lesson that is different from the original movie. His lesson and growth is understandable, he’s puppy and has 98 siblings.

Puppies Driving

Speaking of the 98 other Puppies, they are just plain mean little things. The reason why is to get the audience on Patch’s side, if he is the underdog then we care about him. But they made the other puppies too mean. Jasper and Horace were mean too throwing Nanny down a well, that is sick.

Lars and his art

Then we have Cruella and the art subplot. I will say as someone who minored in art history, I loved this subplot. I thought it was hilarious. However, it’s a little more than stupid. Thy whole thing was a set-up for the puppies to hid against a canvas.

Cruella DeVille

Also I didn’t really like the two antagonist angle. First we have insane Cruella, who seems shoehorned in here. And then we have Lighting, Thunderbolt’s sidekick, who wants to be the star of the show. I will forgive it, as it does come together at the end but Cruella was shoehorned in.

Horace and Jasper grabbing Rolly

Stylistically, this movie is very different than the original but at least it not a rehash or copy of the first. However, they shamelessly reuse things from the first movie. They reuse the Twilight bark, the car chase and Pongo counting, the TV obsession, Cruella etc.

These things maybe be shameless but one thing they rehashed is wrong. Patch mentions that the spot in front of the TV is his spot but it was actually Lucky’s spot in the original.

Patch

Which makes me ask the question, why Patch as the star puppy when Lucky was focused on much more in the original? Think about it, Lucky was the first puppy we saw in the original, he is more obsessed with TV and he had more lines than Patch. Patch had his moments but they were fewer. Of course, all his moments involved Thunderbolt so maybe that was it.

Patch

101 Dalmatians II; Patch’s London Adventure isn’t all bad, it’s dumb and has some icky meanness but it’s fine as far as these sequels go. I dare say it was adequate. And It had PUPPIES!!!!!!!!

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Tag Archives: Disney

Kronkâ€™s New Groove; Yzma’s fate is a bit dark

Male Esmeralda, Stunning Genderswap Fanart

Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie; Take a Drink every time Roo says Best Halloween Ever

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch; I want to see the Mummy Hula!

Major Disney News; Reeves in New Movie

Tarzan II Review: Because the world needs more Phil Collins

Disney Cosplay Count

Winnie the Pooh Springtime with Roo Review: Rabbit is a J amongst Ps

Descendants, new Disney Channel movie

101 Dalmatians II; Patch’s London Adventure Review; Why canâ€™t they talk to the other animals like in the first film?

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