The Fox and the Hound 2: A singing Puppy couldn’t save this one

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The Fox and the Hound 2 picture image

The Fox and the Hound 2

I loved The Fox And The Hound as kid, though I admit the first half was more appealing and less sad than second half but it was poignant and bittersweet. Fox and Hound is a sombre, subtle movie about friends being torn apart because of the roles that society puts on them. The Fox and the Hound 2 does not understand that and tells a midquel story that stupid and annoying.

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Copper and Cash

The Plots is Copper, the hound, joins a band of singing dogs. Tod, the fox, gets jealous that Copper has no time for him anymore. Dixie, the dog that Copper replaced because she has diva-like tendencies get jealous. In the end Copper and Todd reunite the band and continue their friendship only to have the original movie story-line pull them apart in like an week or so.

Tod and Copper The Fox and the Hound 2 picture image

Tod and Copper

A Puppy and a Fox Kit could not distract me from this movie. There was too much in this to torture me. First, not a fan of country music, so a whole movie pretty much devoted to that is off putting. Second, the lack of understanding the source material to make a cutesy movie makes me wretch. Third, the puns and lame jokes, those were torture. Fourth, the story is just painful and there are no stakes. Oh no their friendship might end because of the band even though they won’t say friends later. This movie just reeks of lameness. It just seems like the filmmaker forgot that aspect of the original. But as a stand along entity since there are not stakes it’s lame still.

Tod and Copper The Fox and the Hound 2 picture image

Tod and Copper

I really hated The Fox and the Hound 2 from pretty much start to finish. It took a heartbreakingly poignant story with cute baby animals and made it a vapid annoying movie devoid any hint of depth or for that matter interest or entertainment.

It’s so sad because Copper and Tod are adorable creatures, I feel a shade bad hating on them.

Brother Bear 2; Bear Theme Wedding

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Brother Bear 2 picture image

Brother Bear 2

When I first started watching Brother Bear 2, I was annoyed to learned that much like the Hunchback sequel, this sequel was the main character from the first film getting a love interest.

That model is better than the children of the former main characters learning the same lesson. However the Brother Bear sequel is more entertaining than the hunchback sequel so it makes this story type passable.

Brother Bear 2 picture image

Kenai and Nita

Plot is Kenai’s childhood friend Nita is about to get married but the sprits stop her wedding because Kenai gave her an amulet that bonds them together. She is told she needs to burn it at the place where  he  gave it to her on the Equinox with Kenai. She is given powers so she can talk to him as it apparently very common knowledge that he’s a bear.

She finds him in record time and convinces him to help her. Stuff ensues and we learn that she is afraid of water and Koda is contrived annoying drama. Kenai and Nita along the way rekindle their budding romance. They get to the place where Kenai gave her the amulet, Hokani Falls, and Nita burns it.

After she burns the amulet Nita parts ways with Kenai and Koda. Koda however wants Kenai to be happy and goes to get Nita from her village. Kenai goes after Koda and gets into a fight with Nita’s fiancee. In the end Nita transforms into a bear so that they all can be with each other, hooray.

Nota and Koda Brother Bear 2 picture image

Nita and Koda

In someways I found this movie less annoying than the original. The Original had this great beginning and ok ending but the middle was annoying. The sequel should have been more annoying since it’s the middle of story characters are the focus but somehow it was less annoying.

Maybe it’s because Koda wasn’t AS annoying since there was Nita to balance out Koda and Kenai. Or Maybe it’s because the goofy tone is throughout the film so you don’t have another tone to distract you.

Nita in her wedding gown Brother Bear 2 picture image

Nita in her wedding gown

I liked that Nita wasn’t against her arranged marriage at the start of the movie. I’m not like pro-arrange marriage but I think it created an interested character arc that she wasn’t hang up on marring for love only to fall in love. She could have just as easily been against the marriage from the start but she wasn’t. On subject of Nita was anyone else distracted by Rapunzel’s voice?

Nita and Kenai Brother Bear 2 picture image

Nita and Kenai

Though on the subject of voice actors, Patrick Dempsey plays Kenai because Joaquin Phoenix did not reprise his role. With Dempsey in the role it makes Kenai feel like a different character. He seems more long-suffering and mature. Not sure if the character was written that way  but he is less grumpy and brash than in the first one.

Nita as a Bear with Kenai and Koda Brother Bear 2 picture image

Nita as a Bear with Kenai and Koda

I disliked the ending, it was very contrived. First off you know it’s coming. Kenai won’t leave Koda because Koda is a codependent who needs someone and nor will they entertain the option of turning Koda into a human since bears and the animals are closer to the spirits, I guess or something.

A Disney sequel would never set up a couple only to having them go their separate ways, or Disney for that matter. The bear wedding this was beyond stupid too. Just a silly stupid dumb ending.

Nita with Siqiniq and Taqqiq Brother Bear 2 picture image

Nita with Siqiniq and Taqqiq

All and All, Brother Bear 2 wasn’t bad. It was easier to watch than original but Koda was still annoying.

Horoscope 4-28-14

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Today’s prophecy comes for the Hunchback Disney Script.

“You’re telling me! I’m losing to a Bird!”

It is futile to chose an avian as an opponent today.

 

Bambi II; Bambi of House Baratheon

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Bambi II picture image

Bambi II

I want to review Bambi II, really I do but it’s beyond reproach as Patrick Stewart is it and anything with Patrick Stewart is clearly awesome.

Alright, I’ll try and review it!

Bambi and The Great Prince Bambi II picture image

Bambi and The Great Prince

Bambi II is a midquel. It takes place during the time after Bambi’s mother dies and he is being raised by his dad, the Great Prince of the Forest. Basically the movie is about the Great Prince coming to terms with raising Bambi and Bambi trying to win his dad’s respect.

This story actually works and is pretty ok. It suffers from the typical issues of little drama when death or near-death is used. Though at one point a doe is trouble and that could have had some drama but they diffused the tension in favor of Bambi being chased by hounds and you know he going to be fine. Otherwise it not that bad but there are some issues.

Bambi watching The Great Prince fight off Hounds Bambi II picture image

Bambi watching The Great Prince fight off Hounds

First off this movie takes some influence from The Land Before Time, which is weird. Ronno’s story scaring a man is pretty damn similar to Cera’s story about finding the T-rex. Even Ronno’s tone is the same. There is also a very similar shot of the Great Prince fighting hounds in a shadow against a rock while Bambi watches. This shot is very much identical to Littlefoot watching as his mother fights the T-rex. It may seem weird but both movie feature a young animal losing it’s mother as a core motif.

Bambi, Ronno, and Faline Bambi II picture image

Bambi, Ronno, and Faline

Speaking of Ronno, what an annoying character. Ronno is a bully who is momma-boy. It seems like he is the rival stag in the original because of his motions towards Faline but not sure. I guess he is an antagonist and a foil to Bambi but he is annoying.

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Bambi

Bambi himself has little personality but he didn’t really in the first so whatever.

The Great Prince Bambi II picture image

The Great Prince

Bambi II does a fair job at keeping the atmosphere of the original. The original had these moments of dramatic and almost abstract lighting. Like the hounds in the grass is a pretty cool shot.

Bambi and The Great Prince Bambi II picture image

Bambi and The Great Prince

Bambi II is ok it didn’t annoy as much as thought it would. Was it a story that needed to be told? No. Is this movie made better by Patrick Stewart? Yes. And not to throw in another Game of Thrones reference but the Great Prince totally got me when he said “Winter is coming….. to an end.”

Kronk’s New Groove; Yzma’s fate is a bit dark

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Kronk’s New Groove

On paper the idea for Kronk leading a sequel of The Emperor’s New Groove is pretty good. Kronk is a fun likable goof who seems like he could have carried a movie. Then you sit down to watch Kronk’s New Groove and you realizes how wrong you were. It’s not really Kronk’s fault though, it’s because this the movie is where movie references go to die.

Kronk, Yzma and Old Guy Kronk's New Groove picture image

Kronk, Yzma and some old guy

This movie is compromised of two flashbacks within a flashback and it’s basically Kronk trying to get his father’s approval. Kronk works as a cook and hears that his father is coming to visit. Kronk, prior to the movie has lied to his father saying that he is married with kids and lives on house on a hill.

He tells two stories about how he got those things but lost them. Kronk got a house on a hill by getting tricked into working with Yzma to scam old people out their money and their old folks home. Kronk feeling guilty returns the house on the hill to the old folks.

The second story is Kronk meets a competing Junior Chipmunk camp Counselor, Miss Birdwell, and they fall in love but the due to being overly competitive, Tipo, Pacha’s kid, pulls a prank on Birdwell and her Junior Chipmunks during the big cheer contest. Kronk takes the blame and Miss Birdwell dumps him.

The last part of the overall flashback is all Kronk’s pals try to make his lies a reality by telling Kronk’s dad that they are either his wife or children. Kronk learns that even if he can’t get his father approval he has great friends and he gets his father approval and Kronk reunites with Miss Birdwell.

Kronk and Miss Birdwell do the spaghetti scene from lady and the tramp Kronk's New Groove picture image

Kronk and Miss Birdwell do the spaghetti scene from lady and the tramp

Besides the weak story structure and stories, this movie is very annoying. In the same vein as the Emperor’s New Groove, this movie doesn’t even try to be authentic to the Incas in anyway shape or form. Though in Kronk’s New Groove this by far worse since we lack the charm and fun of the first movie and they amp up anachronism to 11.

It’s not really worth getting in to as it will melt you brain out your ears should you try and think about it. No, that is not the core of my annoyance with this movie, that honor goes to the shameful amount of movie references this movie abuses. Movie references and referencing other media in general is a lazy shortcut to add humor into a movie with out really doing to much. This movie references Lady and the Tramp, Titanic, Thriller, Cheers, and Lord of the Ring just to name a few. Does the movie gain anything by these reference? No, it does not add anything other than padding the movie out and making people stupid.

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Kronk

One of the core criticism of the movie is with Kronk himself. Kronk and Yzma were delightful in the The Emperors’s New Groove, so it’s tempting to use Kronk and Yzma again. But as Kronk is a villain’s minion, he is best in small doses, not as the central focus.

However there is another issue with Kronk as the leading character and that is despite Yzma being is a small chuck of the movie there is no one to balance out Kronk. That balance of two colliding characters made the first one great. Here he just a likable goof with no one to really play off of and that makes Kronk and the stories boring.

Kronk and Miss Birdwell danceKronk's New Groove picture image

Kronk and Miss Birdwell dance

One could also say that the title of the movie is a bit of a misnomer, as Kronk doesn’t get a groove. He doesn’t change or grow, he stays the same but everyone knows that the name is a tie in to the original but F.U. movie, I’m calling you out on it.

Kronk and Yzma Kronk's New Groove picture image

Kronk and Yzma

Kronk’s New Groove is a weak attempt at a sequel and it actual makes people more stupid after viewing it.

Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie; Take a Drink every time Roo says Best Halloween Ever

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Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie picture image

Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie

Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie is pretty much a direct sequel to Pooh’s Heffalump Movie. It’s a sequel in that they don’t introduce Lumpy because they just assumed you watched it and know this character. I begrudgingly watch the Heffalump movie after the sequel and while I thought the Heffalump movie was alright, I loathed the Halloween movie.

Lumpy, Roo, Piglet, Tigger, Pooh, Rabbit, Eeyore Trick-or-Treating Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie picture image

Lumpy, Roo, Piglet, Tigger, Pooh, Rabbit, Eeyore Trick-or-Treating

Plot is it’s Lumpy’s first Halloween and Roo and pals are teaching him all about it. Tigger tells of story about some made up creature called the Gobloon that turns creatures into “Jaggedy-Lanterns.” Lumpy gets scared, so Roo and him venture to find it and make wishes or something because Pooh ate all the candy.

At the 20 minute mark because the screenwriters relieved that they don’t have their Pooh quota of screen time, Roo tells Lumpy a story about Piglet learning not to be scared, a lesson which I‘m sure he will forget. Lumpy and Roo set-up a trap but they run away when they think they hear the Gobloon. Lumpy gets his foot caught while trying to get away after tripping over a wheel-barrow of pumpkins and Roo leaves him to die like a jerk.

Lumpy does managed to get away and the two are separated. When Roo goes back for Lumpy he just sees a Lumpy Jack-o-lantern and thinks that the Gobloon tried him to a “Jaggedy-Lanterns.” Lumpy ends up in the Gobloon trap and the gang thinks they caught the Gobloon. Roo then wishes for Lumpy back. They then find Lumpy in the trap and have the best Halloween ever. At Roo’s house we learn that Kanga made Jack-o-lanterns of everyone but Lumpy’s got lost.

Piglet Mecha Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie Picture image

Mecha Piglet

The first big issue with the movie seems to be in most Pooh movies, the Flashback story. In Springtime for Roo the flashback story had a precedent on the larger story. In this move, yeah it makes sense but it didn’t work with the larger story and just stalled the movie because without it would have been 40 minutes and cut the memorable character pretty much out.

Roo Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie picture image

Roo

Which bring me to my next Point, Roo can not and should not carry a Winnie the Pooh movie. I’m not sure what the rational behind this was. I think perhaps that the screenwriters feel that Pooh is too much a grown-up for kids to identify with so they use Roo.

It’s a very classic misconceptions of how grown-up think kids work in relations to movies. Roo should either be a minor character or act as straight man if Christopher Robin is too busy with school. He should not be going on adventures without Pooh and the gang. It worked in Pooh’s Heffalump movie because Roo was a counterpoint to Pooh but here it’s just stupid. Pooh should not be a minor character in his movies.

Lump scared of Eeyore Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie picture image

Lump scared of Eeyore

Then there is Lumpy. Lumpy gave me a bit of a flashback to Lumpy Space Princess, LSP, from Adventure Time but other than the name, Lumpy, and being purple they have little in common except that they annoy me.

Lumpy didn’t annoy me in the Heffalump movie but in the Halloween movie oh was he annoying. They pretty much killed his character in this. In the Heffalump movie he was cute and fun and got scared once but I wouldn’t characterize him as big coward wimp.

In the Halloween movie he was a whiny wimp. It was not endearing or cute. Piglet has the monopoly on being scared you can’t give that trait to another character and make the flashback justify it. Still hate the flashback tactic and I hate Lumpy in this movie which makes me sad since I have affinity for Elephant-like creatures.

Tigger and Pooh in Halloween costumes Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie picture image

Tigger and Pooh in Halloween costumes

Despite being a Halloween movie with a Heffalump in it, Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie fails by all counts. It’s boring, annoying and stall. The animation is bad by sequel standards and it throws the memorable characters aside for boring and annoying children. I really hated this movie.

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch; I want to see the Mummy Hula!

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Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch picture image

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch was okay. That’s it, I’m done!

Glitchy Stitch, Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch picture image

Glitchy Stitch

Good Night Everybody!

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch picture image

Lilo and Stitch

Really, that is all I can say on it, it’s ok. Considering most the Disney sequels, that’s high praise but in honestly the original Lilo and Stitch never did much for me. I saw it and it was ok but it never connected with me.

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch picture image

Lilo and Stitch

The basic plot of this sequel is Stitch is malfunctioning due to his energy never being fully charged and he reverting to evil. In the mean time, Lilo is trying to win a hula contest so her late mother will be proud of her while David is trying to make Nani jealous and Nani trying to keep it all together.

Mostly it’s sub-plots. The climax of the movie is Stitch dies and the power of love, I shit you not, saves him. I do like how they don’t use magic Disney Science to explain it, they just don’t care and neither do I.

Lilo, Stitch, Nani, David, Pleakley, & Jumba Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch

Lilo, Stitch, Nani, David, Pleakley, & Jumba.

One thing that worked in this movie is that the family is awesome moral made sense. Though it was rampant in the first one, so it was a rehash and the film would have failed if it couldn’t pull that off.

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch picture image

Stitch

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch for all it is, is meh. However Meh equals Ok on the Disney Sequel spectrum of fuckery. It didn’t make me want to destroy humanity the way Atlantis II did nor did it make me question my sanity the way Little Mermaid II did. It wasn’t painful and therefore it’s ok. Although maybe it’s only ok because I have no strong feelings towards the original.

Mertle Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch picture image

Mertle and Lilo

Mertle is also a Grade-A Bitch.

Tarzan II Review: Because the world needs more Phil Collins

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Tarzan II picture image

Tarzan II

The first time I saw the original Tarzan, I didn’t like it very much but since it had been a very long time since my viewing of Tarzan, I decided to watch it before watching Tarzan II. On a Second viewing, I didn’t hate it as much as the first time. As it turns out Tarzan II is a midquel so there might have been more drama and tension if I hadn’t seen the original.

Tarzan and Zugor Tarzan II picture image

Tarzan and Zugor

Tarzan II takes place when Tarzan is a young wee bit of a thing, trying his hardest to be the best ape he can. Tarzan feels he and the family would be better off is his wasn’t there but his ape momma, Kala, assures him that family is awesome at the 8 minute mark.

Tarzan, however, gets separated from his family and decides to run way when he overhears some gorillas saying that they will be better off without him. He runs into a family of bitter Gorillas who live in a rocky rift and can’t leave because of a monster called the Zugor. The Zugor turns out to be an old Gorilla named Zugor who is scaring animals so they will leave him alone. Tarzan bargains with him to teach him stuff in return for keeping his secret. Tarzan wants to know what he is and what his talents are. It’s at this point he starts horning his human brian which impresses Zugor.

Terk and Tantor go to look for Tarzan after Tantor hears Tarzan yelling. Terk and Tantor run into the bitter Gorilla family. To save them, Tarzan spills the beans about Zugor and Kala and three baby Gorillas get in the fray. Tarzan uses a vine to swing and to save Kala and the babies and Zugor find his place with the formerly bitter Gorilla family. Tarzan learns that no matter what he is, he a part of a family.

Tarzan II picture image

Tarzan

It’s pretty obvious that Tarzan II takes place during that growing up montage. As far as midquels go, Tarzan makes sense to have one, unlike Beauty and the Beast but just because it made a little sense to shoehorn another story in the original, midquels are stupid. Because we have seen Tarzan we know that nothing bad can happen in this story.

We also know that all the character development in the midquel happen in like 4 minutes in the original. Midquels are therefore boring and dull to watch and by their very nature they can’t add anything to the original story.

Lion King 1 1/2 could have made the sequel make a little sense by showing the Scar loyalist leaving Pride Rock but on a whole Midquel can’t have any tension or drama.

Tantor, Tarzan and Terk Tarzan II picture image

Tantor, Tarzan and Terk

As it is Tarzan II despite not having any sense of drama or original character development is not wholly bad. The fact that it is a midquel does make it boring but for hour story it’s fairly not that bad but it has some issues.

A Rhino and a Bird Tarzan II picture image

A Rhino and a Bird

First annoying little issue, and this was an issue I had in the first movie, if the gorillas and Tarzan can talk to Tantor why can’t they talk to the other animals? This is just annoying and I don’t get it.

Tarzan and a baby Warthog Tarzan II picture image Tarzan II

Tarzan and a baby Warthog

Second annoying issue, where the hell is this? I mean I know it’s in the Jungles of somewhere in Africa but where? Africa is a big continent so where is the place with Elephants, Gorillas, Rhinoceros, Hippos, Warthogs, Leopards (or one) and if I count the first movie Lemurs, Baboons and Taisers. Lemurs only live in Madagascar but none of the other animals do so I gotta say F U Disney.

What is Disney’s issue with  pan-menagerie of animals especially when  they had a dumb throw away line about piranhas being native to South America? I could tone out this issue in the original movie but in the midquel it was annoying.

Kago, Gunda and Uto Tarzan II picture image

Kago, Gunda and Uto

Then we have the new characters, Zugor, Uto, Kago, and Mama Gunda. At least the have contrived yet distinct personalities, Zugor is a lovable grump, Uto is dense, Kago is violent and Mama Gunda is overbearing.

Uto, Kago and Gunda are considered the antagonist but they are weak ones and they hardly count. However as weak as they are, they are miles more entertaining than Ursula’s crazy sister or the Tim Curry organ.

Kala and Tarzan Tarzan II picture image

Kala and Tarzan

It says something if before the ten minute mark the viewer knows the core lesson, Family is awesome. To be fair most of these sequels is about family or friends being awesome. On some occasion it’s love that is awesome but that is rarer.

Tarzan II is so blatant with its message that I felt I could have turned it off after 8 minutes. It did make for a nice little bookend with beginning and the end but you know Tarzan is still with his family because of the original so having it blatant in the narrative indicates that the movie thinks its audience is stupid. Then again these sequels are used as babysitting tool to get kids sleep, so touche movie.

 

Tarzan II picture image

Tarzan

Tarzan II as a whole thing isn’t that bad but it being a midquel is offer very little. If you need to kill an hour or have to entertain a child there is worse stuff to watch.