All the Hunchback Versions that have been reviewed this past year!
The Twelve Days of Christmas is boring Christmas song. Let’s Jazz it up; Hunchback style!
On the first day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the second day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the third day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the fourth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the sixth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Eight Ladies a Prattling
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the ninth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Nine Gypsy a dancing
Eight Ladies a Prattling
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the tenth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Ten Thieves a leaping
Nine Gypsies Dancing
Eight Ladies a Prattling
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the eleventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Eleven Kings Condemning
Ten Thieves a leaping
Nine Gypsies Dancing
Eight Ladies a Prattling
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Twelve Soldiers Drinking
Eleven Kings Condemning
Ten Thieves a leaping
Nine Gypsies Dancing
Eight Ladies a Prattling
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
It’s theHunchblog third year of reviewing Hunchback versions. And for the occasion I have decided to release my very first Hunchback eBook.
The Hunchback &
The Tales of Christmas
I have been wanting to write something Hunchback related for a while but I never had any good ideas. Over the last few months, I have thought up a few good ideas but with the Holidays coming, I decided to write a short Christmas Story centered around Quasimodo. Then I decided to write two more short stories about Frollo and Phoebus. I call it very simply, The Hunchback & The Tales of Christmas. I’m very happy I finally wrote an eBook.
You can get for $0.99 by clicking the button below or the picture above;
I hope you guys enjoy it ^^ and please continue to support theHunchblog in 2014.
Madeline as Phoebus and Pepito as Quasimodo
What can I saw about the Madeline episode that features a meager attempt to reference the Hunchback of Notre Dame? It’s a lazy, confused mess that would rather talk about writing even though the people who wrote it don’t know the first thing about writing. It’s not charming, cute or insightful. It is weak and torture to watch and I didn’t care for it on any level.
Next Hunchback version after a short Winter Break. If you have a suggestions, let me know because I haven’t made up my mind yet.
Disney Villains
On the other side of the Disney branding spectrum, we have the darker and less well known line of products called the Villain line. Unlike the Princess Line which doesn’t feature heroines based on a “royal” title this line is said to encompass all the villains but really only focuses on a few. Those being; The Evil Queen from Snow White, Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, The Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland, Cruella from 101 Dalmatian, Captain Hook from Peter Pan, Ursula from The Little Mermaid, Jafar from Aladdin and recently Mother Gothel from Tangled. Other villains like Scar, Gaston, Dr.Facilier, Hades and the Cheshire Cat filter in on products occasionally. Though I would argue that the Cheshire Cat is not villain but a Chaotic Neutral.
Judge Claude Frollo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame
So here is the big question, Where is Frollo? He is considered to be one of the great Disney villains because of his complexity. As far as I can tell he might be hiding in the products like in the Disney Vile Villains Playing Cards
Disney Villain Monopoly Box
But why isn’t Frollo a key villain in this line? Is it because Hunchback was super unpopular? Well that doesn’t help but it’s not like Hades was attach to a popular movie and was Pater Pan that popular that Hook gets a major spotlight? On the Disney Villain Monopoly
I don’t think it so much that Frollo is from an unpopular movie, I think it’s because as a villain he is not fun. Don’t get me wrong he’s a great villain, he just never revels in his evil schemes the same way the others do, in fact he’s thinks he the good pure one. So he is not the logical choice as the one of line’s front runners who love and enjoy their machinations. And if this is indeed the case, it doesn’t really bother me that Frollo isn’t prominent, he just not the funny goofy charming villain that this line seems to love. And that’s ok.
Vicious Villains – Disney Movie Art Poster
So what products does villain line offer? Well, in many ways it’s not very different from the Princess Line. It has with games like Monopoly, fashion dolls
And like the Princess line, the villains have their fair share of weird products like a Cruella stapler
In many ways the Villain line is just like the princess line except the products are black, red and purple instead pastels and pinks and it carter to older more jaded girls who are not quite ready Hot Topic.
Hunchback, Musical
There is a new Hunchback musical in the world, this time in Belfast and it’s a Rock musical. The tag line is ‘Love – Friendship – Passion’
The cast is interesting and by that interesting I mean weird. Let’s see if you can spot the weirdness in the cast,
Quasimodo – Christopher Finn
Esmerelda – Ciara Louise Baxter
La Tortura – Kate England
Clopina – Roxanne Saili
Phoebus – Julius Metson Scott
Frollo – John O’Mahony
Clopin is a women???!!!!!!! I don’t have too big of an issue with that. Maybe the actress is the embodiment of Clopin or they had to take what they could get, But pray tell who is La Tortura? and why is she listed above most of the cast? and there is no Gringoire.
Ciara Louise Baxter as Esmeralda & Christopher Finn as Quasimodo, Hunchback
The song that is on the site and in the video promo “Like I can” I really don’t care for. The music isn’t dynamic and the sentiment while in it’s the novel it’s just not that likable. Basically it’s Quasimodo telling Esmeralda that he’s better and shame of her for not seeing it.
I can’t judge the show based on one song or the cast but if that is the song they are pushing I’m not sure about it. Could be good or bad.
For more info;
http://www.theatreatthemill.com/PEO/load_screen.asp?screen=hunchback.asp
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/entertainment/theatre-arts/qa-christopher-finn-29793304.html
I know I have mentioned the lesson before in other posts where I bashed, I mean reviewed, the Hunchback episode of Madeline but I find that the way it was handle in this episode is so awful that it needs to be bashed more.
Madeline, Pepito and her friends read Hunchback of Notre Dame
I do not claim to be expert on the show, I mean I could only watch two episodes other than the hunchback one, but the two episodes I saw had two good lessons; one was altruism and not judging dogs based on breed (allegorical to racism).
In those two episodes people had to actively learn something and a sense development was achieved. The episodes were torture but there was at least a depth.
Madeline as Phoebus and Pepito as Quasimodo
Then we get the Hunchback episode. Anything that deals with Quasimodo should be more or less deal with getting over looks to see who a person truly is, unless it’s done as parody or satire. But this is a kids show so is the standard lesson should be applied.
The problem is NO ONE learns it because the episode doesn’t care about the Hunchback. Writing-wise the episode is all over the place so there is no time to for a character to grow or learn the Quasimodo lesson.
Pepito and Gerald Dippetty Doo
Since everyone but Pepito gets that Quasimodo is awesome, he is the one who is at odds with Quasimodo’s looks but he only comes around to liking Quasimodo because his idol tells him that he is great and should play Quasimodo in the play. Then Pepito plays Quasimodo and good is in a dumb play but he learns nothing.
But there is nothing to indicate in the episode that Pepito is like Quasimodo, he is just a jerk throughout the episode, he made a much better Phoebus. But since he is the one in opposition to Quasimodo he had to be the one to realize how great Quasimodo is but it’s pointless if he just told it out right.
Quasimodo captures Ms. Cavell
The episode should have been about the girls meeting a Quasimodo-like figure, Pepito or one of the little girls judging him and then the Quasimodo-figure helps them somehow and the jerk learns that judging people based on appearances is a jerky thing to do. Cliche? Yes but at least someone learns and grows from the core Quasimodo-lesson-for-kids.
Madeline’s dreams
The title is also confused, as it’s Madeline and the Hunchback of Notre Dame
Pepito as Phoebus, Madeline and the Hunchback
This episode is a mess for beginning to end and it’s no surprise that lesson is a mess and just tacked on to weak cash in episode.
Next Time; Conclusion, Thank God
Madeline as Phoebus
Watches are great gift to give as holiday present as they are fun, fashionable and useful. But What watches reflect the Hunchback characters sense of style? I went through the watches to find the best watches that fit the characters. I found an option for both men and women watches. So either buy one for someone in your life who fits the style of a character or ask for one as gift (be sure to the person buying it for to click the link on the Hunchblog ^_~), and above all else, have fun looking.
ESMERALDA
Esmeralda’s style is youthful, charming and exuberant.
For the Ladies
Invicta Women’s Pro Diver Collection 18k Gold-Plated Watch
Invicta Women’s Pro Diver Collection 18k Gold-Plated Watch
For the Guys
Lucien Piccard Men’s Excalibur Black Textured Dial Gold Ion-Plated Stainless Steel Watch
Lucien Piccard Men’s Excalibur Black Textured Dial Gold Ion-Plated Stainless Steel Watch
QUASIMODO
Quasimodo’s style is down to earth, humble, and unique.
For the Ladies
Anne Klein Women’s Gold-Tone Tortoise Shell Plastic Bracelet
Anne Klein Women’s Gold-Tone Tortoise Shell Plastic Bracelet
For the Guys
Bulova Men’s Automatic Mechanical Brown Leather Strap Dial Watch
Bulova Men’s Automatic Mechanical Brown Leather Strap Dial Watch
FROLLO
Frollo’s style is dark and refined with an edge.
For the Ladies
Lucien Piccard Women’s Veleta Black Mother-Of-Pearl Dial Swarovski Crystal Accents Black Leather Strap Watch
For the Guys
Bulova Men’s Precisionist Leather Strap Watch
Bulova Men’s Precisionist Leather Strap Watch
PHOEBUS
Phoebus’s style is bright, simple and militaristic
For the Ladies
Timex Women’s Ameritus Gold-Tone Stainless Steel Mesh Bracelet Dress Watch
Timex Women’s Ameritus Gold-Tone Stainless Steel Mesh Bracelet Dress Watch
For the Guys
Bulova Men’s Dress Classic Goldtone Watch
Bulova Men’s Dress Classic Goldtone Watch
GRINGOIRE
Gringoire’s style is bold with a flair for the dramatics.
For the Ladies
Swatch Women’s Quartz Rainbow Dial Plastic Watch
Swatch Women’s Quartz Rainbow Dial Plastic Watch
(This watch looks Gringoire’s pants in Notre Dame de Paris )
For the Guys
Stuhrling Original Men’s Classic Cuvette SD 23k Yellow Gold-Plated Stainless Steel and Brown Leather Strap Watch
CLOPIN
Clopin’s style is bold and edgy
For the Ladies (this is unisex)
ESQ Movado Unisex Round Stainless Steel Watch
ESQ Movado Unisex Round Stainless Steel Watch
For the Guys
Kenneth Cole New York Men’s Classic Grey Dial Roman Numeral Detail Strap Watch
Kenneth Cole New York Men’s Classic Grey Dial Roman Numeral Detail Strap Watch
FLEUR DE LYS
Fleur de Lys’ style is classic, delicate and elegant.
For the Ladies
Anne Klein Women’s Swarovski Crystal Elements Silver-Tone Bangle Watch
Anne Klein Women’s Swarovski Crystal Elements Silver-Tone Bangle Watch
For the Guys
Citizen Men’s A Eco-Drive Axiom Watch
Citizen Men’s A Eco-Drive Axiom Watch
DJALI
Djali’s style is fun and bold
For the Ladies
Invicta Women’s Angel Collection Multi-Function Rose Gold Plated White Rubber Watch
Invicta Women’s Angel Collection Multi-Function Rose Gold Plated White Rubber Watch
For the Guys
Bulova Men’s Classic Two-Tone Tank Watch
Bulova Men’s Classic Two-Tone Tank Watch
SISTER GUDULE
Sister Gudule’s style is humble and simple
For the Ladies
Michael Kors Runway Slim Rose Vachetta Women’s Watch
Michael Kors Runway Slim Rose Vachetta Women’s Watch
For the Guys
Citizen Men’s “Eco-Drive” Gold-Tone Stainless Steel and Leather Strap Watch
Citizen Men’s “Eco-Drive” Gold-Tone Stainless Steel and Leather Strap Watch
JEHAN
Jehan’s style is bold, youthful and carefree.
For the Ladies
MULCO Women’s Analog Chronograph Swiss Watch
MULCO Women’s Analog Chronograph Swiss Watch
For the Guys
Stuhrling Original Men’s Triumph Classic Swiss Quartz Multifunction Gold Tone Watch
Stuhrling Original Men’s Triumph Classic Swiss Quartz Multifunction Gold Tone Watch
Ms Cavell and Floating paper
In the Madeline Hunchback episode, Ms. Cavell is trying to get the little girls into reading and writing. She takes them all over Paris and finally at the 6 minute mark, she introduces us to the Hunchback of Notre Dame, which is one of her favorites book. You would think after introducing the book they would talk about it a little bit, but no as soon as she spits out the title the song starts.
Some Guy and with a horse made of Steam,
Madeline episodes alway have a song in them regardless if it works or not. So you might think that the song would relate to the Hunchback or Notre Dame but no. The song is about writing and how Great Paris is for writers.
Ms Cavell and a French Poem
Considering writing is the overarching theme in this, it’s not a bad thing. What is a bad thing is that is the worst thing ever created by a human. A fair warning, this song has been known to kill people because it causes uncontrollable bleeding in the ears.
Madeline and her dumb song
Ms Cavell sings how Paris inspires writers. Then the girls sing the stupidest chorus ever;
“Write, Write Write on the left bank.”
“Left, Left, Left of on the Right.”
I have no words for the stupidness that is those lyrics and they repeat it twice. The bulk of the song’s lyrics just repeat the same idea, Paris inspires writers. The rhymes are ok but they are not by no means great. For whatever ok-ness they might have the chorus ruins it along with instruments and the visuals.
Ms Cavell and Floating paper
The Instruments are mostly a crappy cheap electronic piano. I hear an accordion which is so french and cliche but honestly the accordion is fine. However that godforsaken electronic piano with it stupid glittery cheap sound dominates this shit-feast of song.
Slide Transition during the Song
Then there are the visuals. Now I haven’t got into the animation of Madeline yet but here it is in a nutshell is what I think of it; IT FUCKING SUCKS. And my god the song portion is atrocious in the visuals.
First off let’s editing. They use fucking slide pushes. Which is a transition that pushes the clip from left right off screen. They feathered the edge to make it look soft and gentle but it looks cheesy as fuck.
Madeline and her dumb song
Then the little girls sing the chorus in an abstract space with letters behind them as they walk without ever going anywhere. But look their legs as the step wide. Their legs shouldn’t go that wide without their torso going down. I know this trivial but it fucking bothers me. It also looks like they animated one set of legs and put them on every girl including Pepito…. Pepito has girly legs.
Madeline and her dumb song
It’s just laziness. But that is what the Madeline show is, Laziness, un-bashed and unapologetic laziness. Thankfully because it so fucking lazy the song is short. But even it’s length can’t help it from being the most awful song ever. Quickly, let me listen to I’d stick with you from the Disney Hunchback sequel. (listens to it) Ahhhhhhh….. way better.
Next Time; Let’s Complain about the Animation More….. (cries)
Madeline as Phoebus
Madeline and Danielle as the Captain and Esmeralda
I will give Madeline a little credit, and this pains me greatly, but they did give an interesting take on Quasimodo’s character. It was about how he treats others and not how he is beautiful on the inside. I mean it’s still emphasis on Quasimodo’s inner beauty but it’s said in a different way and I can appreciate that.
I also like the girl who plays Esmeralda. Danielle, as she is called, looks appropriate to the role. Though they never mention Esmeralda as Gypsy, so it’s moot point.
Madeline as Quasimodo and Danielle as Esmeralda
But my god how this episode fails to communicate the source material every chance it gets. It seems in a way a throw-away episode. I bet they were just trying to get Hunchback in before the Disney movie came out. Otherwise I’m not sure they knew Hunchback existed at all.
Madeline and Pepito in the mud
This episode seems to have a little bit of an identity problem. It really can’t decided if it wanted to focus of the Hunchback and its children-friendly theme, writing, Paris love or mud castles. I mean it does take 6 minutes to get a mention of the Hunchback. And the Hunchback-focus is phoned in at best.
Pepito as Phoebus, Madeline and the Hunchback
Let’s tackle a big annoyance. The episode only focuses one two characters from the book; Quasimodo and Esmeralda. But Esmeralda is only mention because she was nice to Quasimodo. We hear of a Captain of the Guard which is Phoebus but his name is never stated. Other major characters do not exist in Madeline’s world.
Quasimodo captures Ms. Cavell
Then there is the little instance of plot the episode indicates at that are just off or wrong. First, the play starts with Esmeralda in sanctuary and Quasimodo brings her food. It’s not like the episode just skipped to that scene since Ms.Cavell assures Mr. Dippetty Doo that it will get better. This should be at the end, if it was crap to this point it’s not going to get better.
The addition of the Captain was only to shoehorn in since they couldn’t otherwise. And it was to act as counterpoint to Quasimodo’s looks. Then we have Mr. Dippetty Doo swinging down to grab Esmeralda while they are both in Notre Dame. That’s just silly. These two instances are the only indications of plot from the book aside from being way off they are lifted from the movies adaptations and not the book.
Pepito and Gerald Dippetty Doo
Then we have Pepito learning to play Quasimodo because he apparently has a big heart. Pepito should have played Esmeralda with his level of selfishness, Oh wait, I forgot book-Esmeralda doesn’t exist here.
But in all seriousness Pepito doesn’t have an arc, he doesn’t seem to learn anything or reach any conclusions that was influence by Quasimodo. Mr.Dippetty Fucking Doo has to tell Pepito that Quasimodo is awesome. This just makes the episode really superficial and lazy. It’s really mind-numbing the lack of effort this episode has for the story. It didn’t celebrate Hugo’s work at all, it marred beyond recognition.
Next Time; the Stupid Song
Madeline and her dumb song