I mentioned last week that I went to Anime Boston(4/6-4/9) and I had a great time, I got sick but I had a great time. But one of the best parts was that me and my sister’s AMV (Anime Music Video) won Best Comedy. Now since I shamelessly self-promote I wanted to post it here but since it has nothing to with Hunchback I decided to show it to the  characters of the Hunchback and asked them what they thought.

The Video

 

Their Reactions

Quaismodo –  It lacked soul and depth but I liked, will you be my friend now?
Esmeralda –  They look like princes who ride white horses, I loved it
Frollo– Such an empty hollow video that turns my eyes from god (Maybe if I join a Boy band she’ll love me)
Phoebus – I found my purpose, I going to join a  Boy Band
Gringoire – I suppose it was amusing but I could write a much more amusing song and edit a better AMV.
Clopin –  That would provide the perfect distraction for pick-pocketing
Fleur de Lys –  I really didn’t care for it.
Jehan–  I love it, can you loan me 5 bucks?

Man, there is no pleasing some people.

Anime- Ouran High School Host Club
Song – Pop song by Jon Lajoie [Explicit]
Edited by the Warlike Swans (Me and my Sister)

 

New regular posting series. Basically I’m going to tap to my inner pyschic power and use my special scrying tool to a give a horoscope to everyone. The scrying tool will be a Hunchback of Notre Dame Book and I will open it and record what the book tells me. To be  clear, I basically open the book and pick a random sentence.

Today’s book is The Barnes and Nobel version of Hunchback  which is my go-to version but I have other copies.

Ok, Today’s Hunchback Horoscope is;

It was on a certain evening.” (Book V Chapter 1 Abbas Beati Martini page 159).
Think about….

-(Not the best sentence for the first one on this series but that was the first one I picked and I have a no do over policy for this )

Frollo Flies Kite
Fan-fiction by Me (Jess of the Hunchblog of Notre Dame)

Chapter 3

 Frollo took the kite to his cell and gently set it down in the corner The corner once the darkest part of his cell but with kite there the once dark corner was a illuminated. He took in the beauty of the kite, its elegant slender frame, its golden cloth, its delicate string that enable it to touch heaven, to dance in the sky with so much grace that to stare was a sin. As Frollo caressed the kite he can the unpleasant realization that the beautiful kite that had tormented him in his dream and during his waking hours would never accept his love  for as lovely as it was it couldn’t speak. All at once he felt the weight of heaven crush him against the gates of hell. He collapsed to the floor in the shadow of the kite and he wept like a child. He remained in that position, lying on the cold stone floor, in the water, in the dankness for several days.

He eventually lifted his head weakly and looked at the kite though eyes blurred his tear and misery. All he could perceive of the kite was its pure golden tone. It was then that an idea bear fruit his tormented mind, he would use the power of alchemy to give his beloved kite a soul so that he could realize his passion and the kite would be his, body and soul.

The priest spent the next several days reading every available source at his disposal, trying any experiment that may work but all were follies, the kite remained  lifeless. Frollo felt even more hopeless, more lost, more defeated, His former lover, science, had refuse to save from his mad obsession to realize his love foe the kite and once again he sank to the floor and drowned himself once again in his own tears. As he wept he heard the vesper bells ring and this called into his mind he other former love, religion. The mere thought of his former purity and devotion caused him to bang his head against the floor. He felt that the gentle hand of the virgin had leaf him and the peaceful gaze of god had turned away, that religion had forsaken him and science had failed him. All that was left for him was the beautiful and lifeless kite.

He felt his love for the kite was more terrible, more empty, more painful than the love he had harbored for the gypsy girl but the sight of that golden kite drifting so close to heaven was too beautiful for his soul to bear. The flames of passion consumed his once pure soul and left only profanity. He must have that kite! To hold it, to speak to it, to know it, to feel in the night against his form and to know that the radiant kite in turn felt his form against it’s frame.

With all the rage and frustration in his soul he prayed, not to the pure limpid one but to the dark fiery one. The soul no longer held any concern, he needed the kite more than paradise. It was at the end of the dark prayer that he priest fell over again to the floor and feel into a comatose state. He remained in that state for many days and nights.

In his comatose state dreamt chaotic nightmares of hell itself. He felt the pain and agony of his decision to forego the hope of heaven. As his dreams continued they revealed a dark and terrible spell that could breed life into objects. When he awoken, his head was on fire and without a moment’s hesitation he prepared the spell. He recalled ingredient, every step and within a few hours he was ready. They items while not uncommon were the stuff of horror; a raven’s feather, a jar of the laughter of a nun, an apple core, a piece of stale bread, a bit of lint, and the a stolen lollipop from a newborn babe.

He madly set the kite among the horrors, like lamb for the slaughter. He performed the spell, chanting every evil note with perfect precision and even more passion. When the priest had finished he gazed at the fair kite to see if the spell had been successful, if it now had life dwelling within its golden cloth and its slender frame. But much to the mad monk’s dismay no life stir within it.

In his despair he turned away from the lovely one so that the might curse hell itself. As he turned he heard the tiniest noise from the table of evil. He spun back around only to see that the once still kite was moving freely and was made complete with beautiful, smoldering amber eyes and a beautiful perfectly formed mouth. Frollo sank to his knees in the shadow of the hovering beauty. After a few moment of being captivated by the enchanted Kite Frollo proclaimed ” I love Thee.”

He waited with baited breath for the Kite to utter its first words. Frollo hoped with every fiber of his being that these words would the words of love.

After several moments the Kite parted its perfect lips and said ” I’m Sorry, I just like you as a friend” and with that the Kite flew out the window of the cell.

Frollo rage grew to point of insanity, he had to have the Kite, it was his, he created it, and no earthy power would stop his love not even the will of the Kite itself. Frollo made a mad lung to grab the Kite’s now useless string but in his madness he miscalculated the distance between the edge of the cathedral and the Kite. He fell out the window and met his end upon the ground.

Epilogue

 As Frollo used the dark arts to give the Kite life he went to hell. As he entered the gates of hell he saw a sea of bright colored lights and people dancing sensually against each other while drinking color drinks of numerous shade, some  even had a curious tiny umbrella in them. It was upon looking into the very face of hell Frollo realized that his wasn’t  so bad and he spent eternity dancing and drinking Mai Tais.

As for the Kite, it become a model and was painted but Europe’s finest artists and became the standard for Kite beauty throughout the world.

 The End

Today is very special since it’s Anime Boston and I’m attending. So I though I would showcase a Fan-Art that fit. So it’s another Kingdom Hearts/Hunchback piece. Art was made by Carro-chan. It’s very well done. Clopin is rendered well in an anime style. I love the bright colors and Clopin pinching Sora’s cheek ^^

KH2 Hunchback of Notre Dame by Carro_chan

KH2 Hunchback of Notre Dame by Carro_chan

preface – The fan-fiction was created at the request/bribe of friend. I’m posting this in 3 parts to avoid a wall of text and I’ll linked them together after they’ve all been released. Story was more or less written in the style of Victor Hugo (or so I tried), and it’s meant to satirical and silly-ish.

Frollo Flies  Kite
Fan-fiction by Me (Jess of the Hunchblog of Notre Dame)

Chapter 1

 Frollo leaned over the edge of the window of his cell high in the tower of Notre Dame. He waited for a few minutes, ever impatient, ever filled with desire to see the young gypsy dancer, La Esmeralda enter the square below. Finally she entered and performed her dance which exposed her super-natural beauty. The Priest watched and his lust intensified. He places his hand upon his cheek and drank her in with his eyes and become bewitched and entranced by the fluid and sensual movements of this girl of singular beauty and sweetness.

His trance was shattered when she abruptly stopped her reverie as her nominal husband Pierre Gringoire the poet, whispered into her ear and like a flash of lighting piercing the heavens, the two were gone. Filled with confusion and jealousy the priest pursued them. He followed them through the small winding streets of Paris till he come to a wide clearing with the most greenest grass framed by the azure sky. At the center most point of the clearing stood La Esmeralda with Gringoire. In her soft brown hands she held a string that connected to the most beautiful kite  that was the color of the purest gold.

At once Frollo felt  the ground turn to ice and froze up to his knee  and held in place as his body froze his head burned. He was entranced by the kite’s graceful dance as it wafted in the breeze against the sky as if it was an angel hovering over the earth to offering blessings. The priest was consumed by the singular beauty of this immortal kite.

The spell was broken when La Esmeralda reeled the kite in back to the earth. Frollo looked at the young girl against the kite and realized that while she was young and beautiful her beauty paled in comparison the lovely kite. As Frollo come to this realization the two were gone and with them the fair kite.  The priest resolved that the kite must be his and from then on he followed the kite, around corners, in alleys and under stairs. Everyday he watched the young couple flying the resplendent kite. It came to be that watching them fly the kite was what he lived for. But after weeks of watching Frollo yearned to hold the strings, to be in control of that beauty, to wield power over the fair golden kite but he didn’t dare, the kite was far too lovely to approach to even gaze was to burn to the core of his soul.

Esmeralda Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image red dress

Esmeralda Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Today’s question is “How does Esmeralda have green eyes?” I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the Esmeralda in question is Disney Esmeralda, since she’s the only one with green eyes.

Also a Disclaimer, I have read the book, many many times. In the Book, Esmeralda has Black eyes. This question is about Disney Esmeralda, the book does not enter into this question except with regards to her name with her name.

Esmeralda and Djali Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda and Djail Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Since this question is “How” which means “by what means” and since she is a cartoon this question is very simple; it’s green ink. But allow me to make yet another massive assumption, this question is actually a “why” question meaning “what reason for.”  So let’s answer this new question, Why does Disney’s Esmeralda have green eyes?

Esmeralda Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

I think the reason was to link the character to the name. In the book Esmeralda got her name because of an amulet she wears which is a pouch that has a paste emerald on it. It’s worth mentioning that Esmeralda in the book is rarely called “Esmeralda” it’s either “La Esmeralda” or something linked to her being a gypsy or a dancer. So the name is a title in someway. Now the in the disney movie, Esmeralda is a proper name and was given to her based on her eye color.

Esmeralda singing God Help the Outcast Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda singing God Help the Outcast Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Now let’s ask one more question, is it possible for Esmeralda to even have this eye color. Well yes and no. No is the sense that this shade of green is not a natural eye color but it’s a Disney film so to hell with logic and the law of nature. And yes, given that the Romani (Gypsies) came out of Northern India, it’s possible, albeit quite rare. After all some of India’s top actresses have green or blue eyes like Rani Mukherjee (Golden- green) and Aiswariya Rai (blue).*

Rani Mukherjee posingpicture image

Rani Mukherjee posing

Aishwarya Rai umrao jaan Blue eye

Aishwarya Rai as Umrao Jaan

I mean without getting to a whole anthropological, genealogical, and tracking human migration patterns over the centuries discussion, let’s just say that this type of color is possible for a Romani and therefore it’s not impossible for Esmeralda. Though it inaccurate to the book where she has dark brown eyes but creative license and what not.

Esmeralda Disney Hunchback of Notre dame picture image

Esmeralda reaching out to Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre dame

Please Note – This answer was not meant to be 100% serious, so relax. It was more about ink color and character design than about Genes and Hereditary patterns.

*Movie Recommendations with Rani Mukherjee and Aiswariya Rai (I’m a Bollywood fan ^_^)
Rani Mukherjee- Black, Paheli,Dil Bole Hadippa
Aiswariya Rai- Devdas , Umrao Jaan, Jodhaa Akbar
This movie has both actress through Rai is just a cameo. But It’s a funny movie.
Bunty Aur Babli

Frollo Puppet Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show picture image

Frollo Puppet

The stage show of  Hunchback of Notre Dame at the Disney Parks is like a high school production where the show has a high budget but the cast isn’t really that talented. Wait a second that’s pretty much what this is. Expect  they’re actually college students interning (slave labor) there for the summer. So what is the stage show about?  All  it is a rehashing of the movie. That’s it. I’m basing this review off these videos which you can watch it HERE.  (I’m sorry for the pictures)

 

Frollo interrupting the couple in Notre Dame a.k.a Not Grope Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show picture image

Frollo interrupting the couple a.k.a Not Grope

A Guy Like you Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show picture image

A Guy Like you

Frollo finding out Esmeralda escape a.k.a Not Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show picture image

Frollo finding out Esmeralda escape a.k.a Not Hellfire

 

 

 

 

 

 

But is the show bad? Yes, yes it. Everything that you love is gone, i.e Frollo. Well that’s not true Frollo is there and he gets line or two but there is not grope and no Hellfire basically what makes Frollo a character is gone. Frollo is just a plot point. Also they kept a guy like you over hellfire which seems like a big “Fuck-you” to audience.

 

Clopin's singnature pose Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show picture

Clopin's singnature pose

But how are the other actors? Umm, not so good. We’ll start with the best, Clopin at least he can sing well. Though he strikes the same pose and hand movements over and over.

Phoebus... that is all Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show picture image

Phoebus... that is all

Quasimodo with a plastic model Esmeralda Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show picture image

Quasimodo with a plastic model Esmeralda

The Gargoyles... they get more lines than Frollo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show picture image

The Gargoyles... they get more lines than Frollo

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phoebus is meh. Quasimodo is forgettable. The gargoyles are annoying.

 

Esmeralda from the Stage Show of Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame at MGM Studios picture image

Esmeralda

And then there is Esmeralda. First off I  say this with out trying to be offensive but she sounds like she from a 30’s movies. Other than that her acting is weak and over-the-top and she’s not a great singer. I think she was cast for the splits she does during the dance.

Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show Esmeralda's Kneepad image picture

Esmeralda's Kneepad

And she wears knee pads during the dance which I found hilarious.

 

Frollo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show picture image

Frollo he's too cool for this play

 

Frollo’s not even a character so he doesn’t count. But even still he’s WAY cooler even with no personality.

Djali as a Marionette Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show

Djali as a Marionette.... where can I get one?

So the setting and the plot were okay. The whole puppet thing for the backstory was weird and a little silly. I mean I get why the did, because it’s Clopin’s puppet show, but to see a big Frollo puppet was too funny for me. I have a bad habit of laughing at puppet play even when that are suppose to be serious. Also Djali as a marionette was unnecessary. Actually Djali was unnecessary and that pains me to say.

 

Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show Spire Turn during Out there picture

Spire Turn during Out there

Also I just want to mention that you know in “Out There” where the camera spins around Quasimodo while he’s on the spire yeah, they do that here except while the performer sings on a platform, two guys spin said platform around, it very silly and awkward.

 

More Puppets dolls Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show picture image

More Puppets erm I mean Dolls

Basically  the whole thing a very rushed feeling and it over superficial, I mean it’s a appropriate, given that it’s in a Disney park. It’s flash and no substance. It subtracts too much from the movie and if their intent was to take that film and make it even more “Kid Friendly” why not do an after-story or sequel. Frollo doesn’t do anything cool here so who cares if he’s in the show. It at least could have been more interesting than seeing a water-down version of a classic story that Disney already watered down.

 

Getting the Lead out Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Stage Show picture image

Getting the Lead out

On the plus side, I liked the extras and the lead pouring was cool.

 

Disney is known for many things; Music, Animation etc. Conversely what Disney is known is thrown out in their sequels. So let’s tackle the music of this monstrosity of a money-making scam ( their direct to relase sequels). This first song on the list; the opening song, Le Jour D’Amour or Not Topsy Turvy – it’s the festival song.

Clopin Le Jour D'Amour Disney Hunchback of of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel picture image

Clopin Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

Clopin and Quasimodo Le Jour D'Amour Disney Hunchback of of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel picture image

Clopin and Quasimodo Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

Clopin and Quasimodo Le Jour D'Amour Disney Hunchback of of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel picture image

Clopin and Quasimodo Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Clopin’s one and only song. But Wait, it’s not just Clopin’s song it’s a duet with Quasimodo. Remember in  the original  film when Quasimodo was shoved down our throats, it’s even worst in this film. And also the Gargoyles get in on this song (eye roll).

Djali Le Jour D'Amour Disney Hunchback of of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel picture image

Djali Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

Phoebus and Esmeralda Le Jour D'Amour Disney Hunchback of of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel picture image

Phoebus and Esmeralda Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

Clopin with an extra Le Jour D'Amour Disney Hunchback of of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel picture image

Clopin with an extra Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of of Notre Dame II Disney

 

 

 

 

 

 

This song introduces us to the fact that this movie is about love. Le Jour D’Amour is supposed to a Valentine’s Day-Love is great- and a pox on you if you don’t have love in your life Day. The premise of the day, in that people yell declarations of love while some bell rings. And for some reason yellow Roses are the flower of chose for Le Jour D’Amour. Yellow Roses are yet one of many, many, fun anachronisms in this movie. The Yellow Rose wasn’t discovered till the 18th century. Yellow Roses are a very stupid chose because according to the meaning of flowers they mean Friendship, Joy, Get Well, not very good chose for a festival of love. If only roses came in other colors, a color that denotes Love and Passion, a “Lover’s Rose” if you will. Darn if only rose came in RED! Stupid movie!

Quasimodo with Zephyr and some little girl Le Jour D'Amour Disney Hunchback of of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel picture image

Quasimodo with Zephyr and some little girl Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

Clopin and Quasimodo with Puppets Le Jour D'Amour Disney Hunchback of of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel image puppet

Clopin and Quasimodo with Puppets Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

Extras Dance Le Jour D'Amour Disney Hunchback of of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel  picture image

Extras Dance Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now compared to the actual movie, the songs are bad. I probably could have just end my music  discussion of the sequel right there but that’s too easy, plus Le Jour D’Amour is the least guilty. It’s somewhat period appropriate, uplifting, and at least you can sing along to it, through why you want to is beyond me. I think the worst part musically is the Gargoyle’s part and I’m not fond of Quasimodo’s solo right before that. But this is my least hated song of the movie (I hesitate to use the word favorite). Don’t get me wrong it’s a stupid song about a stupid festival with stupid people dancing around like dumdums. And despite it being the best in my opinion, I’m always forgetting  it. ( in my last article post when I said what  would be next, I used a picture from Ordinary Miracle instead of a picture from Le Jour D’Amour)

Hugo and Victor Le Jour D'Amour Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel picture image

Hugo and Victor Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

Laverne as Esmeralda  Le Jour D'Amour Disney Hunchback  of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel picture image

Laverne as Esmeralda Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

Quasimodo Le Jour D'Amour Hunchback of of Notre Dame II 2 Disney Sequel picture image

Quasimodo Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I would like to point out that the lyrics try to justify  this festival (maybe even the movie) as the “best of all” over the the original and certainly over Topsy  Turvy, but Topsy Turvy would win with both hands tied behind its’ back and little pieces of duct tape covering its’ eyes and Le Jour D’Amour can have a spear even. No contest.  (Hey, two points go to the person who knows what I just referenced with that little battle scenario comment if you know what it it)

Quasimodo with dancing extras Le Jour D'Amour Hunchback of of Notre Dame II 2 Sequel piciure image disney

Quasimodo with dancing extras Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

Sad Quasimodo Sequel Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney picture image

Sad Quasimodo Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

Clopin Evil Smile Hunchback of Notre Dame Sequel Disney picture image

Clopin Evil Smile Le Jour D’Amour Hunchback of Notre Dame Sequel Disney

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since Le Jour D’Amour is the best of the songs in this explicit deleted fest, this is only going to get worse for me.

Next Time – Ordinary Miracles (bleh)

Quasimodo with Madeline Figurine  Hunchback of Notre Dame sequel 2 II picture image Disney

Quasimodo with Madeline Figurine Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney