Unlike Esmeralda and Gringoire’s wedding, the nuptials of  Phoebus and Fleur de Lys isn’t really presented in the book but mentioned as a bitter joke. At the end Hugo tells us of all the tragic endings the characters have even if they lived to the ending. For our old pal Gringoire he writes tragedies, clever. Phoebus‘ tragic end is that he gets married.

Hugo mean that they marriage was the tragic occurrence for Phoebus, as Fleur de Lys more than likely put him on a tight leash, though maybe they just like that sort of thing, (wink.)  So I guess that Fleur de Lys is the only character in Hunchback to get a happy ending, well her and maybe Djali.

Unlike Gringoire and Esmeralda humble quick wedding, you can bet that Fleur de Lys and Phoebus‘ wedding would have been a lavish late medieval affair, with dancing and flowy gowns and those princess hennin cones for the ladies.

To date, this wedding is only in ONE Hunchback movie and it was so shoe-horned in that is inappropriate but I will get to that later.

For this  merry theme month of weddings and stuff it’s only appropriate to look at wedding movies and because it’s more fun and entertaining to attack low hanging fruit, I have picked four bad wedding movies.

Made of Honor picture image

Made of Honor

So let’s start with the craptasic Made of Honor. Get it, it’s a pun even though the guy in question isn’t remotely honorable but who cares. It was released in 2008 by people who clearly wanted quick buck and trip to Scotland, hey there are worst reasons to make a stupid wedding movie.

Hannah showing off her Fiancee, Colin to Tom Made of Honor picture image

Hannah showing off her Fiancee, Colin to Tom

The story follows this guy named Tom (Patrick Dempsey) who likes to sleep around with lots of dumb ladies and has a lot rules so that he doesn’t have to get attach. However he has this girl-pal named Hannah (Michelle Monaghan) who fulfills the girlfriend role without all the pesky intimacy parts, like going to his father’s sixth wedding.

So one day Hannah goes to Scotland on business. While she is gone, Tom decides that because the ladies he is sleeping with don’t want to do the stuff he does with Hannah he wants to be with Hannah but curve ball Hannah returns from Scotland with a fiancee and she asks Tom to be her Maid of Honor, see, see the English based pun the movie made, oh dear me it’s so fucking clever. And because he is the maid of honor people assume he’s gay, I don’t really know why they would think that but fuck that, it’s cheap running gag.

Tom decides to destroy the wedding from within by trying to convince Hannah, her fiancee, Colin, (Kevin McKidd) is not good enough for her or she doesn’t know him very well. Colin turns out to be a rich Whiskey marker who is Duke who is also well-endowed and is also really cool with Tom and Hannah’s close friendship. Tom also has to face off against Hannah’s cousin, Melissa who hates him for breaking her heart but more for the fact that she wanted to be the maid of honor.

Anyway they go to Scotland, Hannah becomes less smitten with Colin because he plays the bagpipes, hunts deer to provide a free-range meal and wouldn’t left her take cake off his plate, what a dick, am I right? So Tom and Hannah then have a dumb misunderstanding for drama and shit and then blah blah, he leaves but comes back and stops the wedding and Tom and Hannah get married.

Hannah Michelle Monaghan and Tom Patrick Dempsey Made of Honor picture image

Hannah and Tom

The first thing to know about this movie, is that  pretty much all of the characters are selfish assholes. There is nothing likable about any of them but the movie operates on the assumption that they are and that you should care about Tom stealing someone else’s bride away even though Hannah and Tom are conditioned for each. Noticed, how I said conditioned, they have been friends for ten years and they are just used to each others habits and that is the basis for their romance. I don’t care if they are attracted to each other basically if a lady didn’t want to do the stuff Hannah did with Tom, Tom dismissed her. He didn’t even try to find things to do with the other women, it had to be on his terms as the things he did with Hannah. And Hannah is no better. She gets all shocked that Colin wouldn’t let steal his piece of cake the way Tom does. I mean he gave her a piece of cake but still, god forbid people don’t conform to the way you like things done.

Hannah Michelle Monaghan and Tom Patrick Dempsey Made of Honor picture image

Hannah and Tom

Another thing the movie does is tries to give a little moral about honesty. Typically in wedding movies the weddings are just a vehicle for some character to get over some personality trait or tell their best friend that they love them. This film does both. The first the thing is the Hannah and Tom are friends but they became friends when Hannah honestly insulted Tom and he got some kind of sexual thrill from it or something. Tom has some issue with intimacy that stem from his father’s lack of commitment, this is also why he can only tell random dogs he meets that he loves them. So he digs honesty with Hannah. However Hannah then tells him that sometimes it’s okay to lie to let someone be happy which is what Tom does with Hannah’s wedding. He also isn’t serious or something. So Tom has to prove he is serious and be honest with Hannah that her wedding sucks.

Hannah and Tom with Colin Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan, and Kevin McKidd Made of Honor picture image

Hannah and Tom with Colin

Speaking of Hannah’s wedding, she technically gets two. The first one is her Scottish fairy tale wedding complete with ugly hair and a stupid sash. Now I will give that, yes her hair looked dumb but really the whole honesty plot came to Tom telling Hannah that wedding hair style looked bad because the bridesmaids couldn’t, is everyone in this movie stupid?

As for the Sash, they claimed it was traditional, though they didn’t say how or why but Hannah’s dress was boring without it so whatever. Could Hannah just not say no to anything? Oh and her other wedding to Tom was just averagely stylish, like a catalogue, fancy but lacking any heart or unique qualities.

Tom in a mini-kilt Made of Honor picture image

Tom in a mini-kilt

Then there was Scotland. The ONE thing the movie does well is that the shots of Scotland are beautiful, like stunning, though you have to get through an hour of jerky people being bitches to get there and then the shots are few and you have to deal the movie’s offensive take of the Scottish people, so yeah Scotland’s beauty couldn’t save this ass of movie. Just pardon this picture, the games part was just a clunker of a scene.

 Hannah Michelle Monaghan and Tom Patrick Dempsey Made of Honor picture image

Hannah and Tom

Made Of Honor is crappy movie full of crappy selfish assholes who think love means that the person will let you get steamed Dim Sum but really this movie thinks its being smart, sincere and funny and it’s just not any of those things. The best parts were the random dogs. And by the by here are things the movie made me question instead being invested in the plot or the characters,

-did that Starbuck lady actually make the coffee that way with no foam decaf with 70% filled caramel or what ever?

-What did Hannah do at the MET? She looked like she was conservation but she went on an acquisition’s trip. At a smaller museum I could see this happening but at the fucking MET? No.

-So fried food is worse than causal sex, according to Tom?

-Who the hell transports a horse fully saddled? I mean Wha?

If you want a better movie about a guy trying to steal a bride away, watch Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge .

Maureen O'Hara as Esmeralda and Edmond O'Brien as Gringoire  1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda and Gringoire getting married

The first time we see the wedding scene play out in a movie version, at least of a Hunchback movie we can actually watch, it was in the 1939 version.

Pretty much this scene is very much like the book though I would point out that Esmeralda and Gringoire never drink from the jug like they do in the 1939 movie and it’s the Duke of Egypt who presides over the affair. Both changes with drinking and Clopin are fine, I rather like the drinking from the pitcher, it’s a nice touch.

They also get a little song thrown in for funs which is also nice. Though instead of going to Esmeralda’s room, in the movie they go to the bridal chamber which makes sense as it was Esmeralda’s first night at the Court of Miracle so she probably didn’t even have a room.

The dialogue is also a little different during their wedding night but it’s on point. Though if anything is quite different it is at the end of the scene where Esmeralda seeks off because Frollo sent soldiers to find her. Boy, does he mobilize his men fast. Though I’m still not sure how she knew to seek away but whatever.

All in all this scene is solid. It captured the tone of the book but kept things a little different. Really I don’t think they could have improved it. Well maybe if they had Djali but they had different goat though I’m still not sure why.

Let’s kick off this month of wedding stuff by discussing the only actually wedding in the Hunchback of Notre Dame, the wedding of Esmeralda and Gringoire.

So what goes down? I’m sure most of you know that Gringoire wanders into the Court of Miracles and as thieves and beggars are  very rule based, the tell Gringoire that he can either join them via a entrance exam or he will die. Gringoire opts to take the test of stealing from a dummy covered in bells and he must do the theft on one foot, I don’t think I need to say that he failed miserably.

However there is a secret third option, one of the ladies can claim him as her husband. Most of the ladies tease him but Esmeralda takes him as her husband to save his life.

Unlike most weddings with cakes, gowns, flowers, vows and boring speeches, the Court of Miracles weddings are delightfully short and include a easy divorce out. All they do is break a pitcher and the number of shards it breaks into is the length of the marriage. Gringoire and Esmeralda are slated for a four year affair. In that time Gringoire is suppose to care for Esmeralda.

Of course Esmeralda makes it clear that the marriage is in name only (no sexy times) but Gringoire is  suppose to take care of Djali and help with money matters. Pretty much except for the initial sting of learning she married him just save him and that there will be no sexy times, Gringoire takes it all in strides, I mean he is getting food and shelter and isn’t that what marriage is all about?

This scene also sets up some movies to have  a romance between Esmeralda and Gringoire and of all the romance options Esmeralda gets in the movie adaptations, the ones with Gringoire are more natural and sweet than her with Phoebus or Quasimodo. There has yet to be a version where she and Frollo end up together, that would be a very messed-up version.

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

I’m happy and excited to announce  June is going to be a theme month for the blog and it’s going to be WEDDINGS. I actually like wedding in theory because I like the idea of prettiness and romance but I sort don’t love going to them but that isn’t the point. June is one of the most popular times to get married and since there were three kinda weddings in Hunchback there is a precedent for the theme and I have been wanting to do another theme month.

So here are the scheduling for the month since I’m going to postpone the regular posts but going to keep the some general ideas for the days.

Mondays – the weddings in the novel
Tuesdays – how the movies handled the weddings
Wednesday – Fun Hunchback wedding stuff, I hope
Thursday – Bad Wedding movies, it’s not too far removed from live-action fairy tales ^_~.

So that is the theme and the plan, should be fun.

Disney characters Cosplay  is a major presence at Fan Conventions (Anime, Gaming, Video Game, Comic etc). Groups of with these classic characters are big attention grabber but a group can deviate from it the characters traditional to make their both fun and a stand-out.

Here are some Ideas of what you can  do to jazz up any Disney Princess/Heroine group. Some have been done before and some haven’t.

Princesses to Extreme

Yaya Han as Mulan

Yaya Han as Mulan

Basically, you take basic design of the Disney Princesses & Heroines  dresses and make them even more opulent. You can use beading, fancy fabric anything you want to push it in to super ultra fancy.

Bollywood
Rework the  costumes into a chiffon sari. Don’t forget the bangles, tika and lots of kohl.

Steampunk
Put a Victorian spin of the costumes and then add a leather corset and googles.

Zombies

Zombie Disney Princesses

Zombie Disney Princesses

Shred the costumes, add blood and ghoulish make up.

Hipster

Hipster Jasmine, Ariel, Alice and Snow White ComicCon2012

Hipster Jasmine, Ariel, Alice and Snow White ComicCon2012

Modernize the costumes, add big black framed glasses and a clever phase about how you were ahead of the mainstream or just cooler in general.

Can Can

Can-Can dancers’ costume are all about the skirt that is covered with colorful ruffles on the inside. It’s a costume that is both fun and sexy.
FFX-2 Dress Sphere

Disney in Final Fantasy X-2 Dress Sphere inspired costume

Disney in Final Fantasy X-2 Dress Sphere inspired costume

The Dress Sphere was the Battle System in Final Fanatsy X-2. Basically the main characters change their clothes and they have a different set of abilities. The group was based of Fan-art by  Skirtzzz but given the variety of Disney Characters and Dress spheres the options are endless. What would a songstress Esmeralda look like?

Mermaids

Rework the Disney Princesses & Heroines costumes into mermaids like Ariel. Tails would match skirts, So, for explain, Esmeralda would have a purple skirt (if based on her normal look) and a white top. But how would you add her corset? There is a lot of creativity  with the details with this idea.

Warriors

Instead of dainty and pretty costume toughen up the Disney Princesses & Heroines into ass-kicking ladies.

Superheroes

Superhero Disney Princesses by Heykannaya

Superhero Disney Princesses by Heykannaya

Like the Warriors idea the Disney Princesses & Heroines would be more Kick ass looking but with capes and masks.

Sexy

Sexy Disney Princesses

Sexy Disney Princesses

Shorten the hems and drop the neckline and you can sex up the Disney Princesses & Heroines costumes.

Haute Couture

Designer Disney Princess Cosplay Collection by Street Angel

Designer Disney Princess Cosplay Collection by Street Angel

Instead of big poofy gowns rework the costume is sleek and elegant fashion inspired creations. http://street-angel.deviantart.com/art/Designer-Disney-Princess-Cosplay-Collection-335017438
Gender benders

Tinkerbell in more boyish clothes

Tinkerbell in more boyish clothes

Rework the Disney Princesses & Heroines costumes into male-ish costumes.

Magic Girls/ Sailor Scouts

Manon Yapari did a Fan-art of the Disney Princesses & Heroines as Sailor Scouts (from Sailor Moon), this would be an attention grabber at any Anime Con but you could take the classic Magic Girl Costume tropes and apply them to Disney Princesses & Heroines costumes.

Wedding

Rework the Disney Princesses & Heroines costumes into wedding gowns. I know Disney has  dolls of the Disney Princesses in wedding gowns but pending of you own style you can make an amazing gown for the princesses and/or the heroines What would Esmeralda wedding gown look like?
Ballerinas

Rework the Disney Princesses & Heroines costumes into Ballerinas.  You can design wo get a pancake tutu, a classic or a bell. This would a great group for those who can stand on pointe or just fans of ballet.

If you do any of these ideas with or without Esmeralda send them to me ^^.