Djali Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Djali Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

Which Song from Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame are you?

Which one of the Laverne’s birds are you? Bet you didn’t know they had names!

Which one of the Gargoyles’ Drawings are you?

Which Bell of Notre Dame are you?

Are you Team Achilles or Team Snowball?

Are you a Quasimodo super fan?

Which creepy Hellfire judge are you?

Are you obsessed with Esmeralda as much as Frollo? The results are always No but there is a spectrum

Which one of Djali’s expressions are you?

Are you a bum, thief or strumpet?

 

 

Does anyone wish these quizzes  were real?

 

(disclaimer – this is a joke and Laverne’s birds do not have names nor do the creepy specter judges but the Bells do)

It may not be an ugly christmas sweater but it’s still pretty ugly.

 

Or just click here to see it https://www.zazzle.com/hunch_holiday_shirt-235865192514913450?rf=238089986725631455

Simba 2019 The Lion King Remake picture image

Simba 2019 The Lion King Remake

Instead of being mad that this remake seems content to enjoy its false advertising or some how trying to redefine ‘what is live action’ let’s just  considered how this movie might incorporate the “live” aspect without anyone knowing so Disney can continues to capitalize on this trend.

Disclaimer – This post is meant as joke.

So stupid idea number, this movie DOES have “live action humans” in it. Like the story is actually a nature documentary and there are humans off in the background or foreground trying to get those iconic cinematic shots and making commentary, like the narration in the Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty remakes .

Also these humans can harp on those plot-holes that were in the original that people on the internet like to point out all the time. Like the logic of King’s impact on  the weather and ecology, Nala’s dad and the incest that it implies, though watch this remake  address that Nala’s mother was taken in from some other pride so there is  no incest. Don’t worry about it because Disney fixed it.  Other plot-holes may include the elephant graveyard, Simba surviving on bugs (though Film Theory covered that ) and so on and so on. Disney will fix it, it will fix them all and create new ones but that will be the remake  of the remake’s problem.

Or perhaps maybe one of the animals is a real Animal hidden amongst the CG animation.  You will have to watch the movie 100 times to spot it. And it will be in the background and it will like a tiny lizard or something. Maybe one of the bugs Simba eats. Likes it’s a Metaphor for how CG is taking over.  But only TRUE DIE HARD DISNEY fans will spot the “live” animal in this remake.      

The reasons for these remakes  existing, besides more money, does seem to be pushing the  computer animation tech (which people are bored with at this point) AND to correct plot-holes from the originals because imagination is hard and people need things explained more. Like with Beauty and the Beast and logic of a curse and a magical castle. So now they need it with CG Lions meet Hamlet.

I hope this movie does actually shoe-horn in humans or one real animal just for the word usage of “Disney Live Remakes” but I also can’t WAIT for how people in interviews will BS some reason for how it’s “Live”  or why it doesn’t matter.   Then again does Disney actually use the term “Live Action remakes?” Is this even a problem?

Ultimately I do not care, Disney needs its money and repackage nostalgia is a safe bet to get that money.   Though if people really wanted Disney  to stop with these movies collectively we need to stop paying attention and sending money on them but we won’t so here we are with four “live action remakes” coming out in 2019.

WHERE IS THE LIVE ACTION HUNCHBACK DISNEY??????

 

Alas there are no Hunchback of Notre Dame ugly Christmas sweater just yet but since this blog has a Disney leaning here are some Disney Ugly Christmas Sweaters that you can get right now via amazon.

Also I had wanted to showcase a Notre Dame Fighting Irish sweater just to be funny but I couldn’t find one. But there are a TON of Disney Ugly Christmas Sweaters, because of course there is, it’s Disney and Christmas.

Disney Villains Good Bad Ugly Christmas Sweater

Disney Villains Good Bad Ugly Christmas Sweater picture image

Disney Villains Good Bad Ugly Christmas Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disney Snow White All Dwarfs Ugly Christmas Sweater Fleece

Disney Snow White Dwarfs Ugly Christmas Sweater picture image

Disney Snow White Dwarfs Ugly Christmas Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disney Men’s Mickey Mouse Ugly Christmas Sweater

Disney Men's Mickey Mouse Ugly Christmas Sweater picture image

Disney Men’s Mickey Mouse Ugly Christmas Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disney Frozen Olaf Sven Ugly Christmas Sweater Sweatshirt

Disney Frozen Olaf & Sven Ugly Christmas Sweater picture image

Disney Frozen Olaf & Sven Ugly Christmas Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because I love Star Wars there are two but there are many, many…many more.

Star Wars Official X-Wing Vs. Tie Fighter Christmas Jumper/Ugly Sweater

Star Wars Official X-Wing Vs. Tie Fighter Christmas Sweater picture image

Star Wars Official X-Wing Vs. Tie Fighter Christmas Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Star Wars Men’s Darth Vader Holiday Sweater

Star Wars Men's Darth Vader Holiday Sweater picture image

Star Wars Men’s Darth Vader Holiday Sweater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I ever do make a Quasimodo/Hunchback Ugly Christmas sweater I will post here because where else would I put it? And it will be very ugly because I suck at art. Of course you can always get my Quasimodo Ornament at Zazzle  for your Christmas tress.

Happy Holidays!!!!!!

Roland Petit Notre Dame de Paris Ballet picture image

Roland Petit Notre Dame de Paris Ballet

I’ll admit I should not be reviewing dance, I don’t understand it. I don’t understand the language or technique behind any of it. That being said I understand that Roland Petit was going for a more experimental form of ballet with Notre Dame de Paris or contemporary ballet. Contemporary ballet uses both elements of traditional ballet and modern dance to create a new style of ballet.

The style on dance in this ballet is not light and graceful with impressive delicate footwork on pointe, this ballet feels more masculine in its energy and movements than traditional ballets. It feels powerful in its moves  and there is a lot more upper body movements than you would see in what is considered for a conventional ballet.

Natalia Osipova as Esmeralda, Roberto Bolle as Quasimodo and Mick Zeni as Frollo, Roland Petit Notre Dame de Paris 2013 picture image

Natalia Osipova as Esmeralda, Roberto Bolle as Quasimodo and Mick Zeni as Frollo, Roland Petit Notre Dame de Paris 2013

That’s not to say it’s all strong manly ballet all throughout. Esmeralda does go on pointe and has more conventional ballet fluidity in her dances but their the modern dance elements still there. Like during her solo she has these sliding motions with her feet across the floor, which I have never seen in a ballet movement, though I could 100% mistaken and it done in traditional ballet.   

The question is does this contemporary ballet style of Petit’s work for the story? Hugo always had a rough less genital setting to his characters and story. With Hunchback we have a tragic story of three men and their own unique takes on love and desire.  So while I personally don’t understand this style of dance or ballet, it does suit the mood of the story.

There is nothing wrong with the choreography, Petit approached this project with a lot of passion and knowledge of the art form. This is all super subjective either you like this style or you do not. Or you’re like me whereas you appreciate the intent but you really just don’t get it.

Natalia Osipova as Esmeralda & Roberto Bolle as Quasimodo, Roland Petit Notre Dame de Paris Ballet picture image

Natalia Osipova
as Esmeralda & Roberto Bolle as Quasimodo

There were moments I liked, Like Esmeralda’s first solo, the pas de trois with Esmeralda, Phoebus and Frollo and the pas de deux with Quasimodo and Esmeralda in the second act. I also really liked Quasimodo’s moments on the whole of how the dancer uses his arm and elbow as his hunch. Make it more interactive.  

Tadashi Shoji Marquis Evening Gown picture image

Tadashi Shoji Marquis Evening Gown

 

This gown is by Tadashi Shoji. It resemble Esmeralda Notre Dame de Paris costume in both the green color and lacy texture but the tiers are akin to Disney’s Esmeralda. But also the tiers have flamenco vibe which works Esmeralda’s personality in most any version.

You can buy this gown on Tadashi Shoji’s website,

(The Hunchblog is not affiliated with Tadashi Shoji in anyway, nor sponsored in anyway)  

If you are like me and live in USA you may have to endure football on the TV. Or not maybe something else is on in the background or your like football.

If only there was a Hunchback meets football that you could watch instead this Thanksgiving day….

Oh wait! There is!

 

You can watch The Halfback of Notre Dame on Amazon Prime though you may need the Faith and Family add-on, Because you know Hallmark and stuff.

I may like Les Mis parodies a little too much. That being said I really love this skit.

Clairemarie Osta as Esmeralda & Karl Paquette as Phoebus, Roland Petit Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Clairemarie Osta as Esmeralda & Karl Paquette as Phoebus, Roland Petit Notre Dame de Paris

Phoebus is an interesting character as he whatever a given version needs him to be. He can be a good guy, bad guy, romantic lead, asshole, just sort of there, or non-existent. 

In Petit’s ballet he is the Captain of the Guard, saves Esmeralda, seduces her, tries to sleep with her, gets stabbed and dies. He’s basically by the book except he doesn’t have a fiancée and dies. Given that much he is akin to the 1939 version of Phoebus. He’s a horny captain who dies, The End.   

Although the ballet does go out of it way to showcase Phoebus’ attentions on other women who appear to be prostitutes or at least tavern wenches or maybe just whores so either Phoebus has a bad seduction game or he is a massive slut. I would say he is a slut.

Given that his function is to add to the tragedy of Esmeralda and torture for Frollo, he doesn’t need to have a deeper character.  He does what he needs for the purposes of the ballet’s narrative.

Vamp Vampire Esmeralda Halloween 2018 picture image

Vamp Esmeralda

Happy Halloween.

This was made using Azalea Dolls. Haven’t done one these posts in while and tried to go for a “spooky” Vampire Esmeralda.