Esmeralda and Pierre The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda and Pierre

God bless this stupid movie for trying a love song but omg is this shit corny as fuck.

This is Gringoire, erm I mean Pierre and Esmeralda’s love-love song. They use phrases like “once upon a dream,”  ” I gave him my heart,” and other stuff hyper lame sentences.

I’m really surprised there wasn’t a lyrics that said ” You’re my forever girl,”  sure it’s a silly line from Avatar the Last Airbender (love that show) but it would have fit in with the rest of the dumb prose of this song.

Yeah it’s  stupid and the instrument use is dumb but the singer tried so C+.

Still better than the love song from The Thief and the Cobbler but not by much.

I know very little about fashion, most of the time I dress is sweats because I like being comfortable and warm which are the stereotypical banes of fashion. But I had an idea for a blog post which I will do at the end of the month but the idea gave me another idea finding a high fashion/couture evening gown that was similar to Disney Esmeralda’s costume but in that up I found more which resembled the Notre Dame de Paris costume which I know most people don’t really like and have gown down recently. So here are some gowns that resemble the costume wore by Esmeralda and Fleur de Lys.

Oddly these are all Ellie Saab which I swear was not intentional.

 

Emerald Gown by Elie Saab Spring 2012 picture image

Emerald Gown by Elie Saab Spring 2012

Esmeralda’s costume is a weird green color with some kind of print be it abstract or floral. It has a v-neck with asymmetrical bell sleeves. There is also sequins or beads on it. Ideally the costume should move when but that is not always the case. This gown has a lot of the basics down. The color is so perfect that is Emerald. Sleeves are tough to come by in gown so that is a pass but this one does have caps so that is something.  Just take away that belt and add a slit and this would be perfect.

 Green Gown by Elie Saab Eall-Winter 2013-2014 picture image

Green Gown by Elie Saab Eall-Winter 2013-2014

As an alternate, and yes there are a lot more gowns out there that would fit the bill but for today with other one by Elie Saab would do nicely. It’s a darker color of green but that is fine. This one also has the plunging v-neck and the beading creates a nice pattern. I like this one because it looks like it have more movement than the other one but that is due to the cut. Though again, gotta lose the belt though it doesn’t bother me as much.

 

 

Blush Gown Elie Saab Spring 2011 picture image

Blush Gown by Elie Saab Spring 2011

This gown really inspired the post. This one just to me captures Fleur de Lys from Notre Dame de Paris. It has a grace and primness but there is more to than just a good noble lady. I just wish the bottom was a little bit different not because it’s not pretty but that type of slit is so Esmeralda. It could work for Fleur de Lys given the waistline though and her more edgy moments in the musical.

Also speaking as someone who likes the original Esmeralda costume, I really don’t like a lot more recent remakes. The shortness doesn’t look good it, just weird and the print which tries to mimic the original never looks as interesting. I think some better update need to be down,

Painting of Esmeralda and Djali by Wilhelm Marstrand

Painting of Esmeralda and Djali by Wilhelm Marstrand

Get ready to be confuse because I know I am. Skin has three tones; Cool, Warm or  Neutral. No matter your skin color you’re one of these these tones. Cool means you have a blue tint to your skin, you burn easily and your veins look more blue. Warm means you have green tint and your veins look green. Neutral skin tone means you have the bluer veins but you don’t burn as easily, I think . However it’s very hard to REALLY judge the whole green vs blue veins and also I’m far from being an expert on skin tone, I can’t figure out my own skin tone. But we’re  not here to take about me, no we’re here to figure out Esmeralda’s skin tone using the book.

Victor Hugo surprising did give a few clues about Esmeralda’s skin tone though I’m sure that was not his intention at all and I’m reading way too much into the words he wrote back in 1831. So let’s begin.

Frollo at one point comments on Esmeralda’s blue veins. Blue Veins means she would have a cool tone. But there is more. There is some evidence that Esmeralda’s golden skin that resembles Roman and/or Spanish women is the result of tanning or being outside a lot. Which means she more than likely tans easily and doesn’t burn as much which points to a warm tone. But more than that, Hugo says Esmeralda has a Golden Skin tint.

So either Esmeralda has warm tone and Frollo misidentified the color of her veins OR she has a fairly medium neutral skin tone. Of course with all her depictions in media she runs the gambit of skin tones.

 

 

Esmeralda The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda

Ok, let’s be real, on the spectrum of songs that could be in a Hunchback movie  there is one end that is Disney and Notre Dame de Paris i.e good songs and then there are the songs on the level of the rapping dog from Titanic The legend goes on or what that shit was called or the shitty songs. The Secret of the Hunchback songs falls closer to the rapping dog end but it’s much better the songs from the Jetlag  version or Enchanted Tales.

The First song in this version is Esmeralda’s something more song and literally those are lyrics. This is unquestionably stupid, I mean they didn’t even try to hide the trope. She literally wants more than her current life offers. Though in her shallow naivety she just wants nice stuff and a cute boys  which feels very in line with book Esmeralda.

This overt song should bother me more but I like that the “Something more” is sing by one of the Goons who sings the line with regards to stealing more from people, which is cute. But it’s sung well and the music is fun. So sure it’s dumb but it’s sort of delightful and short.

Esmeralda with Pierre and masked Quasimodo The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda with Pierre and masked Quasimodo

Like as the case with MOST version of Hunchback aimed at kids the characters are overly-simplictic water down versions of the book characters mixed with touched of Disney. This version isn’t that much different except with regards to Frollo who is more of a copy of the Enchanted Tales version of Gaston. None of the characters are deep, they are just blandly nice, which makes them uninteresting.

Is it because these movies are for kids and kids don’t need as complex of characters? I don’t think that is true. While I think kids might have a higher level of torrence for bland nice character they still can gauge that they lack personalities. But the REAl reason why these are lack anything that makes the interesting save for the weird humor is this movie is a keep crash grab off of Disney  and bland characters are easier to create as no thought goes into being a nice person. One can’t just be nice.

Let’s just take any character from Moomins which is aimed at children too. All the characters are generally nice but they have other facets of their personality. Moomin is naive and adventure seeking, Little My is rude and Snork Maiden is vain. They all have flaws and that adds to the likable. Quasimodo’s only flaw is that he is ugly but aside from Frollo none of the other character have flaws, though Gringoire is delightfully bad a poetry.

So these character are boring version of the book characters/Disney. And yet they aren;r version of these character, Dingo and Enchated Tales are far worse.

Next Time we’re looking at the shitty songs

Esmeralda and friends The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda and friends

Instead of having a Clopin character or even a desginated Court of Miracles, The Secret of the Hunchback with have three thieves/entertainers that Esmeralda hangs out with and whom she doesn’t seem to care. First we have the leader, who doesn’t have a name, a dumb fat one who is named Andre and the other one. Basically they steal and get into Lord Frollo’s gang. Frollo has them do his dirty work like kidnap Quasimodo and then has them pose as the Archdeacon.

As Far as personalities go, they are goofy and not to nice. They like stealing and work under Frollo do to him threatening them and Esmeralda. But they don’t have any sense of a moral compass, so they don’t mind doing Frollo’s work.

They do add a little bit to Esmeralda’s character, as she doesn’t like all the stealing but we don’t know how or why Esmeralda fell in with them, so it doesn’t REALLY all that much. Really these character are more for silly bad comic relief like Frollo’s other minion, who is really a Le Fou Rip-off.

Next Time – The Priests

The Archdeacon and Brother Labas with Baby Quasimodo The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

The Archdeacon and Brother Labas with Baby Quasimodo

 

There has actually been some decent amount of Hunchback related stuff that popped up in 2015 opposed the last few years where there has been much other that Josh Brolin popping up to say something about his movie that will never be I’m guessing.

So 2015 started off with the sad news. On October 24th 2015 Maureen O’Hara, who played Esmeralda in the 1939 movie version of Hunchback passed away at the age of  95.  The 1939 version is considered to be one of the best Hunchback version. It was also O’Hara’s American debut.

Musicals next; The Notre Dame de Paris 10 year anniversary tour in Korea which was French language. Notre Dame de Paris in Asian isn’t anything new but this was the first time in a while for a French Production to be presented.  There also a new Italian cast the uses member from the original cast. But that is set not next year, but this cast has been catching my attention and just recently did that cast come out so yeah, I’m including it here.

There was also the Disney Hunchback musical at the Paper mills Play house in March and April. Since it didn’t go to broadway there will more local productions so keep an ear out if one should be performed near you and it still might go to broadway someday, never say die. Also the cast recording of the Paper Mills and Lo Jolla casting is coming out next month so preorder here.

Also in April, Josh Groban did a cover of Le Temps de Cathedral on his Stages album. I wouldn’t say it did much to help Notre Dame de Paris’ popularity but people who didn’t know might have heard it so that is great.

Let’s what else. Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling named their baby Esmeralda which they directly sited Hunchback as being a favorite novel of their. First is a little funning because I a while ago I was looking up Celebrities and their favorite books and Hunchback never came up. Les Mis did. I sort of abandoned the idea due to how pretentious and/or how self severing their picks were, so I’m glad some actors liked the book.

But the BIGGEST news of the year is that there are 2, not one but 2 Hunchback movies in the works. One has been in the works for a while and is a independent movie from some actor who was in the second Sex and the City movie, Max Ryan. This version I don’t even know what to say. Everyt ime I try to make sense of it I’m reminded that there is a giant and a figment in the cast list and The Mask directors is going to direct so my expectations for this movie are low to hoping ti hilariously bad, but we’ll see maybe we’ll be surprised and it will be a really good version. Strangers things happen.

The second movie seems to be an off-shot of an idea for Once Upon a Time from 2013, a movie for Esmeralda’s POV, which I’m excited about. There hasn’t been a Esmeralda centric Hunchback version since the 1950’s and that was mostly a French movie. For Hollywood there has been a Hunchback version focusing on Esmeralda since Theda Bara’s 1917 movie The Darling of Paris. Not much is known about this movie other than it’s being spearhead by Peter Cherin and will focus on Esmeralda. I hope this movie is good and happens, you never know with movies.

Let’s hope 2016 has more Hunchback stuff!

Pierre The Secret of the Hunchback picture image picture image

Pierre

Pierre or as he more commonly known in Hunchback, Gringoire, has a lot of diversity in terms of the roles he can plays in Hunchback adaptations. He can be comic relief, the hero that saves Esmeralda or just the story teller. He is a bit like Phoebus whereas he can easily be a hero or a villain pending on the movie. Secret of the Hunchback use of Gringoire or Pierre isn’t that different but combines him as comic relief and hero. Also a you MIGHT have noticed, there is no Phoebus character and typically if Phoebus isn’t in the movie or has a tiny role, Gringoire is the hero.

Esmeralda and Pierre The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda and Pierre

For Gringoire to be the hero in a Hunchback movie he has to be Esmeralda’s love interest, which he is version. However his bad poetry in his first sense makes a comic relief. He also doesn’t do all that much to save the day, Quasimodo does most of the “work” i.e swings down and stops a wedding but Pierre helps and does “rescue” Esmeralda from Frollo once after the pillory scene. So he fit nicely into his two roles.

Quasimodo and Pierre The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Quasimodo and Pierre

Now, that being said how is as a character and how does he stack up next to his book counterpart? As far as he is in this version, he’s a nice guy, that’s pretty much it. He’s nice to Quasimodo and is his pal. This doesn’t make him compelling or interesting but his bad poetry at least made him enjoyable, so gets a pass from him. He also isn’t that much like he is in the book. In the book Gringoire was a cowardly whiner who still wasn’t that great a writer, so they got one thing right about him. But to be fair, getting Gringoire’s characterization right isn’t the most important thing about adapting this story.

Pierre The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Pierre

Also I just want to add that Pierre is a Protestant in this version. Which was for the sake of a joke.

Esmeralda and friends The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda and friends

 

 

Next Time  The Goons Esmeralda travels with

Frollo singing, The Secret of the Hunchback, picture image

Frollo singing, The Secret of the Hunchback

Most people say that this “Frollo” like Enchanted Tales in that he looks and acts more like Disney’s Gaston but I would disagree. I think he’s like if Gaston and Jafar a la Disney had a love child and dumped him in a stupid Knock-off discount version of Paris. I mean his face is Jafar, he has his nose, and the body and clothes are all Gaston. He even has a little stupid minion. This doesn’t make him a convincing Frollo adaptation.

Frollo The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Frollo

So let’s be clear with what we are dealing with here, in this “version” of Hunchback we have a knock-off version of a Gaston/Jafar hybrid named Frollo and not a knock-off version of Hunchback’s Frollo.

Frollo threatening the Archdeacon The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Frollo threatening the Archdeacon

In this “version” Frollo is like a sheriff of Paris or something, which is funny because that is what the Enchanted Tales versions of Frollo was, so it’s like Knock-off inception here. Basically all this Frollo wants, his entire motivation is that he wants Notre Dame’s money. Or rather he wants to exhort money from the Church, which is in the book as The Court of Miracles wants to rob the church when they rescue Esmeralda but I don’t think the makers of this movie made that connection, I’m not even sure they have seen a copy of the book, let alone read it.

 Frollo and Esmeralda The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Frollo and Esmeralda

Frollo also wants power even though he has it. He also likes Esmeralda and almost marries her for I don’t really know why he wants to do this. That means this Frollo is the CLOSEST Frollo ever got to book Frollo’s goal, but his love or lust or like-like or whatever it is that prompts this Frollo to want to marry Esmeralda doesn’t have any level of torment or anything that made book Frollo compelling, so there is literally nothing going on.  I have seen pieces of bread that are better versions of Frollo than this “version”

 Frollo and his little minion The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Frollo and his little minion

Does this make him bad in the movie? No sadly, he probably the most entertaining character mainly because he just reveals in his insidiousness and that  makes him likable and relatable. Of Course him being the most entertaining of the characters speaks more to bore-feast of the rest of the characters than his level of being silly.

 

Next Time Pierre

Pierre The Secret of the Hunchback picture image picture image

Pierre

Monica Cruz picture image

Monica Cruz

The Max Ryan movie, we meet again. If people who read this blog will recall when I first mention the Ryan movie like over a year ago it seemed very theoretical but it’s real and it is happening. As it is stand, core characters have yet been cast or have not been announced yet, like Esmeralda or Frollo. According to cinema.theiapolis.com Monica Cruz and John Rhys-Davies are (or were) in negotiations for Esmeralda and Frollo. Now what is interesting is that Steven Berkoff is listed as in negotiations too and he is on the cast list on IMDB. So really who knows where Cruz and Rhys-Davies stand. So let’s just consider Monica Cruz as a possibility for Esmeralda.

Monica Cruz picture image

Monica Cruz

I know nothing about her aside from the fact that she Penelope Cruz’s younger sister and as a joke on 30 Rock said, younger hotter sister. Really, they look a lot a like. Cruz doesn’t have the same long filmography as her sister so I would be lying if I said I have seen much of her sample of work. What I can gather about Cruz from what I have seem is that she is cast for being attractive. She along with her sister are both dancers who have been trained, Cruz studied Flamenco and traditional ballet at The Royal Academy of Dance. So if she were cast it would promise as good dance number.

Monica Cruz picture image

Monica Cruz

Cruz is too old to play Esmeralda as she is the book. Cruz is 38 and Esmeralda is 16. Can a movie cover it up and make Esmeralda older? If the film maker wants yes, they can also put the setting on the moon if they want, doesn’t make a good idea. But really it’s mute point. Most of the time the character Esmeralda is changed so much anyway that making her like her like she is the book would be novel. Esmeralda is typically overtly sexual and with the casting of Cruz that is what it seems they are (or were) going for.

Monica Cruz picture image

Monica Cruz

Cruz does have a good look. Esmeralda is supposed to have an exotic look. Films version seldom do the backstory as the book has it, where she the daughter of a French woman and an unknown father. But that dark sultry look seems to the going look for Esmeraldas. Personally I can see an actress of Spanish decent or Indian being good in the role. So Cruz has it in the looks department.

Monica Cruz picture image

Monica Cruz

Would Cruz be a good Esmeralda for this movie version of Hunchback? I can’t say but I would say yes given the standards ideas Hollywood has for the character even though the Max Ryan version is an independent movie. Then again this version has a giant in it so my opinion of this movie is low and I’m not sure how good it will be in the first place.