Ciara Renee as Esmeralda, Papermill production of Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Ciara Renee as Esmeralda, Papermill production of Hunchback of Notre Dame

Topsy Turvy Part 1–  Topsy Turvy  is broken up  into two parts to allow two songs to happen as a mean to introduce Phoebus and Esmeralda. Though technically Phoebus makes his first appearance in this song where we learn that last name of his. More on that soon.

The first 30 second is pretty much identical to the movie. However then Quasimodo sings a bit along with some new lyrics sung by the Chorus. His part has a slight reprise to Out There to it. Also the whole of Quasimodo part  feels very musical-y  and also rhyming Now with Now? You guys could have done better.

The Clopin’s a part start and it’s again it’s identical to the movie, though I do admit I prefer Paul Kandel’s sining. The song again shifts to Phoebus appearing in the crowd after The sixth of January line or “Januervy.” And he pretty much announces himself to everyone, Frollo and Jehan did the same thing In Bells so I guess it just a thing the musical does though I don’t really care for people narrating themselves, though the chorus joins in to tells us that “he has a haunted look in his eyes.”  Anyway this part leads in to the next song…

Rest and Recreation – This song was in the German version and now it’s back. It uses Phoebus’ march from the movie.  Much like in the movie Phoebus is back from the Front.   But you know I have to ask what war? What Front? Phoebus says that he has been gone four years and seems a bit shaken up from it as they  mention cannon fodder.  I’m no expert on European Wars but France wasn’t in wars in 1482. The wars that France was in that were the closest to 1482 were The War of Castilian Succession  of 1475 to 1479 and The Burgundian War of 1474 to 1477. It could be a simple matter that the musical doesn’t take place in 1482 except they say it did. Song mentions a siege and bodies in a trench which are probably more like hot words than actually referring to a war or battle. I can deal with unnamed War in the Disney movie but here it’s a harder pill to swallow since the musical is truing to be more like the book. I mean did the say which war it was in musical?  But this backstory takes me out of the song.

So back to the song. Phoebus also mentions that he’s on furlough but then he gets his new promotion as Captain of the Cathedral Guard. I’m going to real with you guys, that is the stupidest thing. I get what they are doing. Phoebus has to be Frollo’s minion for his character arc and Frollo is now a Priest so the tidiest way to handle this is to make Phoebus the Captain of the Cathedral Guard. BUT Cathedrals didn’t have private guards. This even goes against the book where the Sanity of the Church was respected, even Disney movie Frollo respected it.

Anyway  the I haven’t really discussed the song yet. Much like in German version Rest and Recreation tries to amalgamate book Phoebus with movie Phoebus. Book Phoebus was womanizer and movie Phoebus is nobel and gallant. Since Phoebus is described as having “a dashing manner and bold swagger” we know he got those personality down but the song gives us a reason why Phoebus wants the ladies, because he been away at the unnamed Fantasy war. Despite the war and Notre Dame guard the song is successful at give the blending of Phoebus’s characterization and setting up his character in this version.

Rhythm of the Tambourine – This song is Esmeralda’s introduction song which is also her dance number during the festival. It is also the first new song of this musical version. Judging from the lines Phoebus, Frollo and Quasimodo sing about “who is she” I’m going to guess Esmeralda and Quasimodo didn’t have their little moment where Quasimodo crashes into dressing room, but I could wrong, I’m probably wrong.

Rhythm of the Tambourine is very staccato which I would guess is for said tambourine but it does nothing for me. Also is just me or is this song reminiscent  of Carol of the Bells? Wonder if that was one purpose?   I do like her attitude on dance that it just for fun as she ask “What can it hurt?” Such delightful irony. We also get a Belle moment as like I said Phoebus, Frollo and Quasimodo sing about her. Frollo likens her to a devil, classic him. Phoebus and Quasimodo liken her to an angel but Phoebus goes on to say that she dances with Fire.

It’s decent song and clearly gets across Esmeralda’s love for dance which she REALLY didn’t have in the Disney movie as well as the guys views on her.

 

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The internet is full of crackpot theories. My favorite ones deal with either Game of Thrones and Star Wars. But then I read this crackpot theory, Could Anna and Elsa be Quasimodo’s Ancestors, which I don’t have to say is all kinds of wrong. But it got me thinking about my own crackpot theories and I thought of one that isn’t probably that super original or out there but it seems like it could be totally true, Are Quasimodo and Esmeralda related???

Quasimodo's Mother Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo’s Mother Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

This theory only takes in to account the Disney version, since book wise it’s not true.  The first piece of evidence is the woman known as Quasimodo’s mother. She was a Gypsy woman who died protecting Quasimodo from Frollo.  I will say that it is unknown if she is actually Quasimodo’s biological mother or not given the difference of skin tone but MAYBE Quasimodo’s skin tone is part of his deformity. It’s possible so let’s just say, YES she is 100% his mother and Quasimodo’s parents are both Gypsies.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre dame picture image

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre dame

Now I bet you’re saying, just because Quasimodo is a Gypsy and so is Esmeralda, it doesn’t make them relatives and YES, you are correct, that is not enough but I have other evidence, and it’s more compelling, eye color.

There are only FOUR characters in The Hunchback of Notre Dame that actually have eye colors. Those “characters” are Quasimodo, Esmeralda, that little girl who hugs Quasimodo at the end and if you look REALLY closely Quasimodo’s mother. Everyone else has black eyes including Phoebus and Frollo.  I’m going at one a limb and say that the little girl’s eye color reflects more of her innocent and is the expectation that proves the rule.

Eye color is not as simple as Mendel thought but green eyes are a recessive trait meaning both parents need to carry the gene. Now it looks like Quasimodo’s Mother has a dark blue color and it is possible for a blue-eyed parent to have green-eyed baby. The green eyes link Quasimodo and Esmeralda. It could be as simple as links them both a outcasts but then why both adding that touch color to Quasimodo’s Mother?  Their same color eyes links them in a world full of black eyes.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda reading Quasimodo’s palm Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

So how are they related? I would say they are not siblings as Esmeralda was not with Quasimodo’s parents when they tried to entered Paris. It’s possible but very unlikely. I would say they are more likely cousins. And if they are cousins it makes it better that they are a couple. Plus Esmeralda treats Quasimodo with a type of older sister affection and Quasimodo treats Esmeralda school-boy crush.  They are better as friends.

 

What do you think? Do you think Quasimodo and Esmeralda could be related? And do have or know of any good, crazy or bad Hunchback theories?

 

 

 

Now that 2016 Award Season is over, let’s look at some gowns that are reminiscent of Esmeralda costumes, or something that an Esmeralda could wear. I’m 100% positive these gowns are in no way inspired by Esmeralda, it’s all coincidental.

Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon wearing Oscar de la Renta at 2016 Oscars Image Source: Getty / Steve Granitz picture

Reese Witherspoon wearing Oscar de la Renta at 2016 Oscars

This gown is an Oscar de la Renta wore by Reese Witherspoon at the 2016 Oscars. This gown has a lot of commonalities to Disney Esmeralda’s costume. First off, the color, it’s a lovely rich shade of purple. The silhouette is very similar to Esmeralda though longer.

The exposed corset details with the vertical boning is similar Esmeralda’s corset  especially with it being on the waist right below the bust.  The volume at the bust also invokes Esmeralda’s peasant blouse.

It being strapless also helps, as Disney Esmeralda had exposed shoulders.

Saoirse Ronon

Saoirse Ronon wearing a custom Calvin Klein at 2016 Oscars Image Source: Getty / Jason Merritt picture

Saoirse Ronon wearing a custom Calvin Klein at 2016 Oscars

This gown is a custom Calvin Klein that Saoirse Ronon wore at the 2016 Oscars. It is very reminiscent of Esmeralda costume in Notre Dame de Paris, in its color, deep v-neck and the abstract spiral pattern. This pattern which is created with sequins would be perfect for Esmeralda’s Notre Dame de Paris costume more than some those floral patterns they get for the costume.

Zendaya

Zendaya wearing Marchesa at 2016 Golden Globes Image Source: Getty / VALERIE MACON picture

Zendaya wearing Marchesa at 2016 Golden Globes

This gown was designed by  Marchesa and Zendaya wore it at the 2016 Golden Globes. I have made it clear I don’t care for Esmeralda wearing red but it is a go to color for her character so I can’t fight it. There is something about this gown that screams Esmeralda. It could be the tiers which is a very dancer type of silhouette which work for Esmeralda.

Zendaya in this gown looks very similar the the design of Esmeralda on the Notre Dame de Paris poster.  She might be a good candidate for Esmeralda actually if they ever did Notre Dame de Paris as movie or in States again or a general musical.

Jada Pinkett Smith 

Jada Pinkett Smith wearing Versace at 2016 Golden Globes VALERIE MACON/AFP/Getty Images picture

Jada Pinkett Smith wearing Versace at 2016 Golden Globes

This gown was design by Versace and Jade Pinkett Smith wore it at the 2016 Golden Globes. This gown seems to be to like a merger of Esmeralda’s two Notre Dame de Paris costumes.  You have the color and slit of her first act costume with the cowl neckline and sleeve detail of her prisoner costume.

Rachel McAdams  & Sophie Tuner

Rachel Mcadams wearing an August Getty Atelier dress at 2016 Oscars Image Source: Getty / Jason Merritt picture

Rachel Mcadams wearing an August Getty Atelier dress at 2016 Oscars

Sophie Turner wearing Wearing custom Galvan at 2016 Oscars Image Source: Getty / Todd Williamson picture

Sophie Turner wearing Wearing custom Galvan at 2016 Oscars

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These two gowns aren’t ones I would compare to Esmeralda’s Notre Dame de Paris costume, though the colors are on par her fist act costume but I wanted to note the slits on these two gowns, it how the slit on the NDdP costume should work. Not the ugly curved thing they do.

 

Tori Kelly

Tori Kelly wearing Gauri and Nanika at 2016 Grammy Awards picture image

Tori Kelly wearing Gauri and Nanika at 2016 Grammy Awards

Also the Gauri and Nanika gown that Tori Kelly wore at the 2016 Grammy Awards was the perfect Esmeralda color. The gown itself is lovely though it is not really  that reminiscent of Esmeralda.

 

 

In light of the way the 2016 Oscars acting award nominations went and with the general whitewashing of roles in mainstream big budget Hollywood movies, Esmeralda is an interesting role to discuss as her book self and her film presence are at weird odds.

Patsy Ruth Miller as Esmeralda Hunchback chaney version 1923 picture image

Patsy Ruth Miller as Esmeralda

In the book Esmeralda is presented as a Romani, and without getting it into too much, the Romani people are Ethnically different from the rest of Europe specifically France.  However Esmeralda’s backstory in the novel is that she was born Agnes to a French woman and raised by the Romani. This backstory is really only presented in two movies (three if you think the Dingo version count), those versions are the 1923 version and the 1999 Parody version albeit that version flips things around whereas she is born Esmeralda to Cubans and raised as Agnes by mean French people.

Lesley-Anne Down as Esmeralda, 1982 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Lesley-Anne Down as Esmeralda, 1982 Hunchback of Notre Dame

Esmeralda in most movie versions of Hunchback is depicted as a full Romani, though the 1982 version  there was a throw away line that questioned her background but it went no where, so it hardly matters.

Gina Lollobrigida as Esmeralda, 1956 Hunchback of Notre Dame, picture image

Gina Lollobrigida as Esmeralda, 1956 Hunchback of Notre Dame

This brings us back to the topic, as Hollywood whitewashes many roles it interesting to note that in Esmeralda’s case they take role of girl who despite having dark hair and eyes  with tanned skin is for all accounts a white girl and instead makes the role one for a very specially ethnic minority and yet casts mostly white women. So far in movie versions only Gina Lollobrigida and Salma Hayek have looked the way the film versions theoretically want to depict the character.

 

Maureen O'Hara as Esmeralda

Maureen O’Hara as Esmeralda

While in my own naive  little world I think casting should go to right person for the right part but it’s not that simple. A lot of roles are specific to someone’s looks and background. Hollywood however does of course forget that or ignores it and has a history of awarding parts that should go to people of minorities to white actors. Like the casting  of Emma Stone in Aloha or Rooney Mara in  Peter Pan or pretty much everyone in The Last Airbender or Scarlet Johansson as Major Motoko Kusanagi in the upcoming Ghost in the Shell movie, heck Lucy was a Akira knock-off… I digress. The list of whitewashing practices in Hollywood is long.

And as this pertain to the Oscars, actors who fall into minority seldom get nominations and seldom win. Just for example Asian actors which Indian actors fall into, Only two Actors won the Academy Award for Best Actor, Yul Brynner (1956) and Ben Kingsley (1982). Kingsley also  got a nominations in 2003. For Actress only Merle Oberon got a best actress nomination in 1935 and no one else since. For Best Supporting Actor, only Haing S Ngor has won in 1984  and only five others have been nominated, Sessue Hayakawa (1957), Mako (1966), Pat Morita (1984), Ben Kingsley (1991) and Ken Watanabe (2003). Oddly the same goes for Best Supporting Actoress with only one winner and five others nominated. The only Asian winner was Miyoshi Umeki in 1957. The five who were nominated were Meg Tilly (1985), Jennifer Tilly (1994), Shohreh Aghdashloo (2003), Rinko Kikuchi (2006) and Hailee Steinfeld (2010).

Salma Hayek as Esmeralda, 1997 Hunchback of Notre Dame, picture image

Salma Hayek as Esmeralda, 1997 Hunchback of Notre Dame

So how does this apply to Esmeralda? The Hunchback of Notre Dame as I have said before, could be one those movies made specifically to win  awards. The role of Esmeralda could be deepen which has been done in the past like in 1939 version or even the Disney version. It could be made into one those Oscar bait roles with relative ease. If that did happen given the state of Hollywood I would prefer to see an Actress who fits into the Romani look more than being a purist to the book. Either an Indian actress or Hispanic actress could fit nicely, though ideally, a young Romani actress would be ideal.

Melanie Thierry as Esmeralda

Melanie Thierry as Esmeralda

Though given Hollywood’s warped sense of itself they probably would make Esmeralda a Romani, as  is the traditional method to her character and cast a popular blonde actress.

Is there an actress you would like see play Esmeralda?

 

Esmeralda and Pierre The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda and Pierre

God bless this stupid movie for trying a love song but omg is this shit corny as fuck.

This is Gringoire, erm I mean Pierre and Esmeralda’s love-love song. They use phrases like “once upon a dream,”  ” I gave him my heart,” and other stuff hyper lame sentences.

I’m really surprised there wasn’t a lyrics that said ” You’re my forever girl,”  sure it’s a silly line from Avatar the Last Airbender (love that show) but it would have fit in with the rest of the dumb prose of this song.

Yeah it’s  stupid and the instrument use is dumb but the singer tried so C+.

Still better than the love song from The Thief and the Cobbler but not by much.

I know very little about fashion, most of the time I dress is sweats because I like being comfortable and warm which are the stereotypical banes of fashion. But I had an idea for a blog post which I will do at the end of the month but the idea gave me another idea finding a high fashion/couture evening gown that was similar to Disney Esmeralda’s costume but in that up I found more which resembled the Notre Dame de Paris costume which I know most people don’t really like and have gown down recently. So here are some gowns that resemble the costume wore by Esmeralda and Fleur de Lys.

Oddly these are all Ellie Saab which I swear was not intentional.

 

Emerald Gown by Elie Saab Spring 2012 picture image

Emerald Gown by Elie Saab Spring 2012

Esmeralda’s costume is a weird green color with some kind of print be it abstract or floral. It has a v-neck with asymmetrical bell sleeves. There is also sequins or beads on it. Ideally the costume should move when but that is not always the case. This gown has a lot of the basics down. The color is so perfect that is Emerald. Sleeves are tough to come by in gown so that is a pass but this one does have caps so that is something.  Just take away that belt and add a slit and this would be perfect.

 Green Gown by Elie Saab Eall-Winter 2013-2014 picture image

Green Gown by Elie Saab Eall-Winter 2013-2014

As an alternate, and yes there are a lot more gowns out there that would fit the bill but for today with other one by Elie Saab would do nicely. It’s a darker color of green but that is fine. This one also has the plunging v-neck and the beading creates a nice pattern. I like this one because it looks like it have more movement than the other one but that is due to the cut. Though again, gotta lose the belt though it doesn’t bother me as much.

 

 

Blush Gown Elie Saab Spring 2011 picture image

Blush Gown by Elie Saab Spring 2011

This gown really inspired the post. This one just to me captures Fleur de Lys from Notre Dame de Paris. It has a grace and primness but there is more to than just a good noble lady. I just wish the bottom was a little bit different not because it’s not pretty but that type of slit is so Esmeralda. It could work for Fleur de Lys given the waistline though and her more edgy moments in the musical.

Also speaking as someone who likes the original Esmeralda costume, I really don’t like a lot more recent remakes. The shortness doesn’t look good it, just weird and the print which tries to mimic the original never looks as interesting. I think some better update need to be down,

Painting of Esmeralda and Djali by Wilhelm Marstrand

Painting of Esmeralda and Djali by Wilhelm Marstrand

Get ready to be confuse because I know I am. Skin has three tones; Cool, Warm or  Neutral. No matter your skin color you’re one of these these tones. Cool means you have a blue tint to your skin, you burn easily and your veins look more blue. Warm means you have green tint and your veins look green. Neutral skin tone means you have the bluer veins but you don’t burn as easily, I think . However it’s very hard to REALLY judge the whole green vs blue veins and also I’m far from being an expert on skin tone, I can’t figure out my own skin tone. But we’re  not here to take about me, no we’re here to figure out Esmeralda’s skin tone using the book.

Victor Hugo surprising did give a few clues about Esmeralda’s skin tone though I’m sure that was not his intention at all and I’m reading way too much into the words he wrote back in 1831. So let’s begin.

Frollo at one point comments on Esmeralda’s blue veins. Blue Veins means she would have a cool tone. But there is more. There is some evidence that Esmeralda’s golden skin that resembles Roman and/or Spanish women is the result of tanning or being outside a lot. Which means she more than likely tans easily and doesn’t burn as much which points to a warm tone. But more than that, Hugo says Esmeralda has a Golden Skin tint.

So either Esmeralda has warm tone and Frollo misidentified the color of her veins OR she has a fairly medium neutral skin tone. Of course with all her depictions in media she runs the gambit of skin tones.

 

 

Esmeralda The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda

Ok, let’s be real, on the spectrum of songs that could be in a Hunchback movie  there is one end that is Disney and Notre Dame de Paris i.e good songs and then there are the songs on the level of the rapping dog from Titanic The legend goes on or what that shit was called or the shitty songs. The Secret of the Hunchback songs falls closer to the rapping dog end but it’s much better the songs from the Jetlag  version or Enchanted Tales.

The First song in this version is Esmeralda’s something more song and literally those are lyrics. This is unquestionably stupid, I mean they didn’t even try to hide the trope. She literally wants more than her current life offers. Though in her shallow naivety she just wants nice stuff and a cute boys  which feels very in line with book Esmeralda.

This overt song should bother me more but I like that the “Something more” is sing by one of the Goons who sings the line with regards to stealing more from people, which is cute. But it’s sung well and the music is fun. So sure it’s dumb but it’s sort of delightful and short.

Esmeralda with Pierre and masked Quasimodo The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda with Pierre and masked Quasimodo

Like as the case with MOST version of Hunchback aimed at kids the characters are overly-simplictic water down versions of the book characters mixed with touched of Disney. This version isn’t that much different except with regards to Frollo who is more of a copy of the Enchanted Tales version of Gaston. None of the characters are deep, they are just blandly nice, which makes them uninteresting.

Is it because these movies are for kids and kids don’t need as complex of characters? I don’t think that is true. While I think kids might have a higher level of torrence for bland nice character they still can gauge that they lack personalities. But the REAl reason why these are lack anything that makes the interesting save for the weird humor is this movie is a keep crash grab off of Disney  and bland characters are easier to create as no thought goes into being a nice person. One can’t just be nice.

Let’s just take any character from Moomins which is aimed at children too. All the characters are generally nice but they have other facets of their personality. Moomin is naive and adventure seeking, Little My is rude and Snork Maiden is vain. They all have flaws and that adds to the likable. Quasimodo’s only flaw is that he is ugly but aside from Frollo none of the other character have flaws, though Gringoire is delightfully bad a poetry.

So these character are boring version of the book characters/Disney. And yet they aren;r version of these character, Dingo and Enchated Tales are far worse.

Next Time we’re looking at the shitty songs

Esmeralda and friends The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda and friends

Instead of having a Clopin character or even a desginated Court of Miracles, The Secret of the Hunchback with have three thieves/entertainers that Esmeralda hangs out with and whom she doesn’t seem to care. First we have the leader, who doesn’t have a name, a dumb fat one who is named Andre and the other one. Basically they steal and get into Lord Frollo’s gang. Frollo has them do his dirty work like kidnap Quasimodo and then has them pose as the Archdeacon.

As Far as personalities go, they are goofy and not to nice. They like stealing and work under Frollo do to him threatening them and Esmeralda. But they don’t have any sense of a moral compass, so they don’t mind doing Frollo’s work.

They do add a little bit to Esmeralda’s character, as she doesn’t like all the stealing but we don’t know how or why Esmeralda fell in with them, so it doesn’t REALLY all that much. Really these character are more for silly bad comic relief like Frollo’s other minion, who is really a Le Fou Rip-off.

Next Time – The Priests

The Archdeacon and Brother Labas with Baby Quasimodo The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

The Archdeacon and Brother Labas with Baby Quasimodo